Morning all.
Are you concentrating? Do try to keep up. It’s easy to zone out during the middle rounds of the season, isn’t it? It’s generally not very interesting, a bit repetitive, a bit maudlin. It may have already happened. You may have already decided, consciously or otherwise, that this game is not going to be a highlight of your week, and that there is little of consequence about this week’s game to convey in this preview. You won’t be the first to come to that conclusion, that’s for sure. I myself am not that enamoured of this task, and am slightly concerned that instead of a concise, definitive pre-game analysis, I might just be talking a load of bollocks. We shall see. Oh well, I guess I’ll quickly check Facebook again to see if anyone has validated my existence in the last 10 minutes and crack on.
In retrospect, it’s been a bit of a strange journey for the Richmond Football club this season. It started out as a noble, vengeance-inspired quest to regain their rightful throne, but was quickly derailed by injuries, suspensions and other teams not co-operating. With a couple of losses in the scorebook, Cotchin, Riewoldt, Rance and Martin out, some Richmond fans were feeling a mite pessimistic.
However, after the coaching panel made a few minor tweaks to personnel and game plan
things have got back on track, and barring complete disaster, the Tigers should again be up and about when the whips start cracking at about Round 19. But this is Richmond..……..
Cruising towards finals
And so it continues. If a friend of yours, new to the country, announces he intends to barrack for Richmond, your first question should not be ‘Who is your favourite player?’, but more along the lines of ‘Why?’ or ‘Have you told your mum?’. Even when things seem to be going well, there is always another opponent just around the corner – usually holding a big club. Being a Richmond fan can teach you a lot about life – mostly, that it’s generally not worth living.
Anyway. Fremantle. In Western Australia. I like Fremantle. It’s on the beach, there are some nice beers, a good vibe, and it isn’t really Perth. Grandad Wallaby lives just down South on the coast, and is always welcoming to visitors – particularly those who need their politics and prejudices corrected. I’ve had many a happy weekend there, drinking his home brew (‘It works out at 55c per glass, you know’), listening to The Best of Perry Como (‘Better than any of your jazz saxophonists’), and playing Ludo. Naturally, he is a keen Dockers man, although he finds Ross Lyon ‘a bit exuberant’, and would prefer Freo went back to John Todd, and stopped all this hand-passing nonsense.
To be honest, the Fremantle football team hasn’t been very good since its inception, and as a result has had manyexciting tussles over the years against Richmond (which for much of the time hasn’t been very good either). We all remember Ty Vickery trying to soccer the winning goal out of mid-air with the grace and style of an arthritic penguin.
Then there was the time David Mundy……….. and the other time David Mundy……………. and – hang on – do we have to go back to Ben Hollands to find an Exciting Tiger Hero for these games? It’s no wonder most of us prefer to put our minds into power-saving mode and think about biscuits, rather than the Trans-Nullabor tussles.
Things may be different this time. Not only are Richmond officiallya Good Side rubbish again, but the Dockers have discovered that if you score more goals than your opponent, you win the game. This represents an abrupt about-face from the traditional Fremantle game-plan which could best be described as Death by Ennui, with occasional brief intervals where nothing actually happened. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to play a defensive, mauling, scrum-filled game – what’s wrong is expecting us to watch it. But the Dockers have thrown the old play-book away and are playing like giddy schoolkids – ie, running aimlessly round and round in circles, screaming at each other.
The one remaining constant at Fremantle is Coach Lyon, in particular his tortured explanations for just about every aspect of contention regarding a Dockers game. But he remains a firm favourite withthe fans some of the fans his immediate family, and considering Freo’s huge improvement this year over previous campaigns, is in no danger of facing a review. Nevertheless, tuning in to some of his press conferences is a bit like listening to ‘Losing My Religion’ by REM – it’s sounds vaguely profound, it’s a bit hard to catch the message, and it does rather go on a bit.
Anyway – on to the Game!
Key matchups:
1.Richmond Forward Line vs Physics. As usual, goalkicking has proven to be a bit of a concern at Richmond – particularly set shots. Despite hundreds of hours of practice (we hope)
the result of a Richmond shot at goal has all the predictability of playing snap with a sperm whale – I’m not sure exactly what’s going to happen, but it’s probably not going to end well. It does seem strange that Highly Trained Athletes, wearing computer-designed footwear worth more than the average Richmond fan’s car, using a regular ellipsoid inflated to an exact pressure, can produce such a wide range of results. It’s probably validates Heisenberg’s Quantum. or something.
2. Fyfe vs Everyone. Fyfe is good – really good. He had his usual bazillion disposals last game, and, in a warning to Richmond, several were actually useful. Despite aggressive recruiting by the Dockers over the last couple of years, Fyfe remains their most important player, and stopping him generally means stopping Freo. Personally, I’d play Neil Balme on him – briefly.
3. Richmond Defence vs Hospital Waiting Lists. This should be an Election Issue. If any candidate could fix the current mess in the Australian Healthcare system that means that 98% of all Richmond defenders are either:
a) currently out injured
b) due for their yearly hamstring rupture or
c) hobbling around like crippled wombats
I’d vote for them (well, maybe not Clive). I’d even settle for a coal-fired Rehab machine, situated in the middle of the Barrier Reef and paid for by taxation on the poor, if it means we get a defender more than 6 foot tall back on the park.
4. Umpires vs Freo Fans Mind-Altering Free-Kick-Influencing Mesmerism. Actually, scratch this one – they’ve never coped with it yet, so they probably won’t start now.
5. Dustin Martin vs his Boredom threshold. I mean, he must be dating a Kardashian, right?
So overall this game offers something for everyone. There’s a bright future on the Richmond side (our three best players last game were our three least-experienced), and confidence in the Fremantle camp (Richmond’s three best players are their three least-experienced). Richmond are likely to make further changes
and I expect them to win. Mind you, I also bought an AbMaster 3000.
I'm Pumped Guys!!!!
Are you concentrating? Do try to keep up. It’s easy to zone out during the middle rounds of the season, isn’t it? It’s generally not very interesting, a bit repetitive, a bit maudlin. It may have already happened. You may have already decided, consciously or otherwise, that this game is not going to be a highlight of your week, and that there is little of consequence about this week’s game to convey in this preview. You won’t be the first to come to that conclusion, that’s for sure. I myself am not that enamoured of this task, and am slightly concerned that instead of a concise, definitive pre-game analysis, I might just be talking a load of bollocks. We shall see. Oh well, I guess I’ll quickly check Facebook again to see if anyone has validated my existence in the last 10 minutes and crack on.
In retrospect, it’s been a bit of a strange journey for the Richmond Football club this season. It started out as a noble, vengeance-inspired quest to regain their rightful throne, but was quickly derailed by injuries, suspensions and other teams not co-operating. With a couple of losses in the scorebook, Cotchin, Riewoldt, Rance and Martin out, some Richmond fans were feeling a mite pessimistic.
However, after the coaching panel made a few minor tweaks to personnel and game plan
things have got back on track, and barring complete disaster, the Tigers should again be up and about when the whips start cracking at about Round 19. But this is Richmond..……..
Cruising towards finals
And so it continues. If a friend of yours, new to the country, announces he intends to barrack for Richmond, your first question should not be ‘Who is your favourite player?’, but more along the lines of ‘Why?’ or ‘Have you told your mum?’. Even when things seem to be going well, there is always another opponent just around the corner – usually holding a big club. Being a Richmond fan can teach you a lot about life – mostly, that it’s generally not worth living.
Anyway. Fremantle. In Western Australia. I like Fremantle. It’s on the beach, there are some nice beers, a good vibe, and it isn’t really Perth. Grandad Wallaby lives just down South on the coast, and is always welcoming to visitors – particularly those who need their politics and prejudices corrected. I’ve had many a happy weekend there, drinking his home brew (‘It works out at 55c per glass, you know’), listening to The Best of Perry Como (‘Better than any of your jazz saxophonists’), and playing Ludo. Naturally, he is a keen Dockers man, although he finds Ross Lyon ‘a bit exuberant’, and would prefer Freo went back to John Todd, and stopped all this hand-passing nonsense.
To be honest, the Fremantle football team hasn’t been very good since its inception, and as a result has had many
Then there was the time David Mundy……….. and the other time David Mundy……………. and – hang on – do we have to go back to Ben Hollands to find an Exciting Tiger Hero for these games? It’s no wonder most of us prefer to put our minds into power-saving mode and think about biscuits, rather than the Trans-Nullabor tussles.
Things may be different this time. Not only are Richmond officially
The one remaining constant at Fremantle is Coach Lyon, in particular his tortured explanations for just about every aspect of contention regarding a Dockers game. But he remains a firm favourite with
Anyway – on to the Game!
Key matchups:
1.Richmond Forward Line vs Physics. As usual, goalkicking has proven to be a bit of a concern at Richmond – particularly set shots. Despite hundreds of hours of practice (we hope)
the result of a Richmond shot at goal has all the predictability of playing snap with a sperm whale – I’m not sure exactly what’s going to happen, but it’s probably not going to end well. It does seem strange that Highly Trained Athletes, wearing computer-designed footwear worth more than the average Richmond fan’s car, using a regular ellipsoid inflated to an exact pressure, can produce such a wide range of results. It’s probably validates Heisenberg’s Quantum. or something.
2. Fyfe vs Everyone. Fyfe is good – really good. He had his usual bazillion disposals last game, and, in a warning to Richmond, several were actually useful. Despite aggressive recruiting by the Dockers over the last couple of years, Fyfe remains their most important player, and stopping him generally means stopping Freo. Personally, I’d play Neil Balme on him – briefly.
3. Richmond Defence vs Hospital Waiting Lists. This should be an Election Issue. If any candidate could fix the current mess in the Australian Healthcare system that means that 98% of all Richmond defenders are either:
a) currently out injured
b) due for their yearly hamstring rupture or
c) hobbling around like crippled wombats
I’d vote for them (well, maybe not Clive). I’d even settle for a coal-fired Rehab machine, situated in the middle of the Barrier Reef and paid for by taxation on the poor, if it means we get a defender more than 6 foot tall back on the park.
4. Umpires vs Freo Fans Mind-Altering Free-Kick-Influencing Mesmerism. Actually, scratch this one – they’ve never coped with it yet, so they probably won’t start now.
5. Dustin Martin vs his Boredom threshold. I mean, he must be dating a Kardashian, right?
So overall this game offers something for everyone. There’s a bright future on the Richmond side (our three best players last game were our three least-experienced), and confidence in the Fremantle camp (Richmond’s three best players are their three least-experienced). Richmond are likely to make further changes
and I expect them to win. Mind you, I also bought an AbMaster 3000.
I'm Pumped Guys!!!!
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