Hello Bay... renowned theoretical physicist Stephen 'Tomahawk' Hawking here. It's a bit chilly in the cryopreservation vault my head is stored in, next to Walt Disney's, so "Ice to meet you" as my hero Arnold Schwarzenegger once quipped
My wife Mason (nee Cox) was a controlling and manipulative bitch who physically and emotionally abused me during our 11-year marriage. But enough about me, let's talk about my favourite sport
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. For millions of years, mankind lived just like the animals. Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination - we learned that teams can straight set in AFL finals. Mankind’s greatest achievements have come about by talking, and its greatest failures by not talking. So let's talk about it. Here. Now. With me, the Tomahawking
My analysis shows that since the introduction of the current finals system, the following teams have embarrassed themselves and their supporters by straight setting:
2001 Port (3rd)
2007 West Coast (3rd)
2014 Fremantle (4th)
2014 Geelong (3rd)
2015 Sydney (4th)
2016 Hawthorn (3rd)
2018 Hawthorn, again (4th)
2019 Brisbane (2nd)
2021 Brisbane, again (4th)
2022 Melbourne (2nd)
From this we can calculate that the overall average of occurence for this phenomenon is √(x+iy)±(√{[√(x2+y2)+x]/2}+iy/|y|√{[√(x2+y2)-x]/2}) or 43%, but over the last 5 years it has been 100% (since the COVID Cup of 2020 doesn't count) - so the odds are it will happen again this season
One of my many famous quotes was "However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up". Unfortunately for some clubs, especially Hawthorn and Brisbane, the thing they succeed at is straight setting.
Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny. Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious - and vote for the team you think is going to straight set this season. If you're correct you will be showered with praise and other equally worthless things. If you're wrong the derisive cry of your enemies will echo in your empty skull for eternity
We are all different — but we share the same human spirit, and the same schadenfruede at other teams failings; no matter where our own team finished
Trivia: Collingwood are the only team in the top 4 not to have straight setted - and nobody has straight setted from 1st!
My wife Mason (nee Cox) was a controlling and manipulative bitch who physically and emotionally abused me during our 11-year marriage. But enough about me, let's talk about my favourite sport
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. For millions of years, mankind lived just like the animals. Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination - we learned that teams can straight set in AFL finals. Mankind’s greatest achievements have come about by talking, and its greatest failures by not talking. So let's talk about it. Here. Now. With me, the Tomahawking
My analysis shows that since the introduction of the current finals system, the following teams have embarrassed themselves and their supporters by straight setting:
2001 Port (3rd)
2007 West Coast (3rd)
2014 Fremantle (4th)
2014 Geelong (3rd)
2015 Sydney (4th)
2016 Hawthorn (3rd)
2018 Hawthorn, again (4th)
2019 Brisbane (2nd)
2021 Brisbane, again (4th)
2022 Melbourne (2nd)
From this we can calculate that the overall average of occurence for this phenomenon is √(x+iy)±(√{[√(x2+y2)+x]/2}+iy/|y|√{[√(x2+y2)-x]/2}) or 43%, but over the last 5 years it has been 100% (since the COVID Cup of 2020 doesn't count) - so the odds are it will happen again this season
One of my many famous quotes was "However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up". Unfortunately for some clubs, especially Hawthorn and Brisbane, the thing they succeed at is straight setting.
Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny. Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious - and vote for the team you think is going to straight set this season. If you're correct you will be showered with praise and other equally worthless things. If you're wrong the derisive cry of your enemies will echo in your empty skull for eternity
We are all different — but we share the same human spirit, and the same schadenfruede at other teams failings; no matter where our own team finished
Trivia: Collingwood are the only team in the top 4 not to have straight setted - and nobody has straight setted from 1st!
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