If that’s her current photo on your avatar I can understand why you never made it out.There's obviously a lot of emotion and outpouring after the death of the great man. There is no rush to a decision required.
Grief and love/lust are the worst times to make decisions. Much better to wait till the emotions have returned to a more stable state.
Geewizz I wish I knew this 30 years ago. Instead I ran ecstaticaly into the witch's den with my mind lost, and have still not found my way out.