Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 of 2017 - the "finals were better last year" Edition

[ChappyUK]

Ordinary call

Maybe for the main bored.

 

[Dr Tigris]

So where is Vickery??

 

[SaintsSeptember]

So where is Vickery??

Shush don't bully him.

 

[leobarryustar]

Goddard, as in runner up B&F Goddard?? You're having a lend

Did he swipe all the drinks off the table when he didnt win?

 

[richoatthedisco]

When you lose a final by 15 goals, Goddard comes 2nd in your B&F and you don't address your bottom six midfield, it's definitely time to be talking top 4.

Darndest.

 

[Mofra]

Player 18 - Hayden Ballentyne


Pictured: The AFLPA 'feedback session' was reportedly a 'resounding success'

Hayden Ballantyne is a midget that has escaped Saints games unburned. He is also a small forward at Fremantle who supports their plethora of tall forwards Cam McCarthy.

A veteran player and one of the few Freo players who have actually played in a Grand Final - um, well he attended the Grand Final - 'Balla' should be leading the way. He's 174cm in height, or marginally taller than Starburns_ and has in the past shown an ability to get under an opponent's skin like ringworm, scabies or a 1936 classic written by Cole Porter but better known as sung by Frank Sinatra.

Now Balla did have an interrupted pre-season, and not because Ross Lyon often forgets that forwards exist and only retrospectively invited them to train halfway during February. Rumours that he spent months trekking in New Zealand to throw a ring into a volcano are as unsubstantiated as a BF draft rumour.
He finally played WAFL in round 9 but came back too early and re-twinged his hammy, then was straight into the side in round 14 for their annual loss to Geelong.
He played half-decently against St Kilda (Ross must still know a thing or two about restricting St Kilda's scoring opportunities) then had an absolute nightmare against the powerhouse that is North Melbourne, registering 3 kicks, 1 handball, and one Lindsay Thomas impersonation.


Pictured: Eight years in a professional environment and that's the rig he's left with

He meandered through the rest of the year with such highlights as "one disposal in a half against Gold Coast Suns", "one tackle in a 104 point drubbing by the Swans" and "that stupid turnover in the 3rd quarter that cost Freo any momentum against Essendon". As a senior player he should be leading the way and setting an example to his younger teammates but in 2017 he set standards so low that he could earn free entry to a B&S ball at 3am as the 'dancefloor sweeper'. Seems his schtick of 'annoy your opponent more than a mosquito with anal herpes' is starting to wear thin.

He has been an asset to the AFL world though in other ways - pretty sure 3 time premiership player Matthew Scarlett describes belting Balla as his 'all time favourite AFL highlight'.
Balla was also busted using his mobile phone during a game in 2016, a no-no from the AFL who care about fairness and the integrity of the game...


Pictured: More draft concessions than the US Republican party during the Vietnam War conscription era

And get this: in 2015 Balla was actually selected to represent Australia. It's fair to say that the only chance he has of ever representing Australia again is on a shopping trip for headphones in Columbia.

Hayden, Haydos, Ballantyne, That Short Trucking Campaigner. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2017.

 

[Stifler's mom]

A poor mans Milne.

Tragic really.

 

[TedDougChris]

A poor mans Milne.

Tragic really.

Not as good and equally well liked.... Not something to hang your hat on...

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

A poor mans Milne.

Tragic really.

Lets compare Lyon's st kilda to freo

Key forward everyone loves - Check
Annoying campaigner of a small forward - Check
Defender who everyone hates - Check
Assortment of random spuds - Check
Zac Dawson - Check

 

[Dr Tigris]

Shush don't bully him.

I guess I'll be waiting for a while to see where he is

 

[Mofra]

Lets compare Lyon's st kilda to freo

Key forward everyone loves - Check
Annoying campaigner of a small forward - Check
Defender who everyone hates - Check
Assortment of random spuds - Check
Zac Dawson - Check

Grand Final appearance with no flag - Check

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Grand Final appearance with no flag - Check

 

[Holy Rioli]

Rumours that he spent months trekking in New Zealand to throw a ring into a volcano are as unsubstantiated as a BF draft rumour

I almost spat out my coffee on this line.

 

[largebus]

Not trading him to the Eagles last year probably ranks up there in list management blunders. And there are many.

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Player 18 - Hayden Ballentyne

Pictured: Eight years in a professional environment and that's the rig he's left with.

Think he got off lightly this year to be honest - you didn't even mention the questionable tatt?
What even is that thing, some sort of faded Australian flag that is weirdly light blue?

 

[Freofalcon]

 

[hufus]

 

[A Cut Above]

Lets compare Lyon's st kilda to freo

Key forward everyone loves - Check
Annoying campaigner of a small forward - Check
Defender who everyone hates - Check
Assortment of random spuds - Check
Zac Dawson - Check

Left off a couple

Controversial relocation of training base - check
Cadre of ineffectual, scared shitless assistant-coaches - check
High-profile Aboriginal recruit who failed to fire a shot - check
Total inability to win when trailing at quarter time - check
Fans who talk of breaking the drought but inwardly all hope was crushed years ago - check

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Left off a couple

Controversial relocation of training base - check
Cadre of ineffectual, scared shitless assistant-coaches - check
High-profile Aboriginal recruit who failed to fire a shot - check
Total inability to win when trailing at quarter time - check
Fans who talk of breaking the drought but inwardly all hope was crushed years ago - check

High profile aboriginal?

 

[Starburns_]

High profile aboriginal?

Bennell and Lovett.

I'm more confused by Cooksen's defender that everyone hates. I initially thought Dawson but he showed up later in the post.

 

[Freofalcon]

Bennell and Lovett.

I'm more confused by Cooksen's defender that everyone hates. I initially thought Dawson but he showed up later in the post.

Bennell?

Injury troll?

 

[Marklar_33]

High-profile Aboriginal recruit who failed to fire a shot - check

Lovett fired a shot. It’s what got him sacked

 

[sonnywalters]

Grand Final appearance with no flag - Check

And GF scores under 65 points - Check.

Balla is a good entrant. He was truly horrendous all season.
I was genuinely shocked he got offered a new contract. Shocked.
Once again Lyon doesnt know when to call it quits with his old hacks. Just keeps a flogging a dead horse with some hope they will somehow go back ten years.

 

[craffles]

57 ****ing days this thread has been going for. ****kkkk offf

 

[sonnywalters]

Bennell?

Injury troll?

Shane Yarran then.