Official Team Thread Las Vegas Bears S38 Official Team Thread ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ 🎰 Mateflon Medal Tonight

[tony]

Start it again, tony.

No chance in hell I am starting again. While I was eating, I was thinking about doing a runner and not finishing the show.

 

[tony]

And we are back, I hope you all enjoyed the spread provided by Sizzler.

After 9 Rounds, Chipmunk has opened up a lead in the count, sitting on 27 votes with Cap four back on 23. There's then a gap to Millky95 in third on 13 votes, followed by Tony and Joshwoodenspoon.

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

Not sure about the Muddiemoose and guero throwback halftime entertainment..

 

[tony]

Round 10 Recap: Warriors 141 - 109 Bears
The Bears travelled to Coney Island for Round 10, hoping to celebrate @Art Vandelay_’s 300th game with a win, but as usual, the milestone curse hit harder than Test Tickle in a marking contest. Art kicked two early goals, giving us a glimmer of hope, but the Warriors were more accurate in front of goal and took a narrow lead into quarter time. After a seesawing second quarter and a brief third quarter lead thanks to Art and Cap, the Warriors unleashed a six goal tidal wave that left us floundering. A spirited final term push led by SSSSSS and Tandy brought us within 9 points, but the Warriors had the last laugh, kicking away to win by 32. On the bright side, SSSSSS had a career best game, Art celebrated his milestone with 3 goals, and Cap dominated with 4 majors.


SSSSSS Chipmunk Cap RonnieRaven MKMatty

 

[tony]

Round 11 Recap: Furies 87 - 162 Bears
The Bears arrived at the hippodrome for Round 11 with a 4 game losing streak hanging over our heads, but we played like a team possessed or maybe just terrified of the selection panel. Tommycash made a triumphant return, Millky95 looked like he was running a masterclass in midfield domination, and MWPP put the opposition to the sword with 4 goals. By quarter time, we’d piled on 8 goals to the Furies’ 2, and by halftime, we were a staggering 68 points up. The second half saw us keep the foot on the gas, with Tommycash booting 6 majors in a vintage display and Cap leading the midfield with brute strength and finesse. When the final siren sounded, we’d crushed the Furies by 75 points, a season best margin that left us wondering where this form had been hiding.


Millky95 Tommycash Cap MWPP SSSSSS Chipmunk

 

[tony]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to present our Best Rookie Award. Now, SSSSSS might have won this by default as our only rookie, but don't let that fool you, his stats tell the story of someone who truly earned this honour.

Finishing second in kicks for the season, just one behind Chipmunk (who we're pretty sure was hoarding them like nuts), SSSSSS made the field his playground, collecting possessions at will. He ranked sixth for marks, third for handballs, and despite his well documented aversion to tackling, somehow managed to wrap up 18 opponents, though we suspect they just froze in fear when they saw him coming.

The umpires seemed particularly fond of our rookie too, giving him the fourth most free kicks on the team. And with 11 goals and the fourth highest Dreamteam score of 1,082 points, SSSSSS has proven that even in a field of one, he would've been tough to beat.

Please put your hands together for our Best Rookie, SSSSSS!

 

[tony]

Round 12 Recap: Roys 82 - 86 Bears
The Bears rolled into Brunswick Junction Oval with hangovers as heavy as our season stakes, ready to face the Roys in a rainy scrap. Despite a sluggish start and some comical goal kicking efforts, seriously, Shadow Man might want to book an appointment to see an optometrist, we managed to edge ahead in a nail biting final term. With Tandy and Chipmunk delivering clutch late goals and our trusty platypus formation holding firm in the dying seconds, we snuck away with a 4 point win.


Millky95 RookiePick SSSSSS Tandy Chipmunk Cap

 

[tony]

Round 13 Recap: Bears 81 - 103 Royals
The Bears faced the Royals in a game that felt like watching someone try to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions; chaotic, frustrating, and occasionally funny. The Royals sprayed more shots than a clumsy bartender, keeping us in it early despite dominating play. Tommycash showed them how it’s done with our first goal, and we somehow stayed within 24 points at the half, thanks to their inability to hit the side of a barn. By the final term, Art Vandelay_ and MWPP gave us a glimmer of hope, but the Royals finally decided to kick straight, shutting down our dreams quicker than last call at The Honey Pot. A 22 point loss isn’t great, but at least we didn’t lose by 10 goals, which we probably deserved to.


SSSSSS Senor M RonnieRaven Tommycash Cap Millky95

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

Arghh SSSSSS you blew my multi!! I really thought 'Other' was a good shout.

 

[tony]

Final leaderboard check before we head to the final 4 rounds of voting, We've got a thriller on our hands! Cap has retaken the lead by the smallest of margins, 37 votes to Chipmunk's 36. Millky95 sits third on 26, while SSSSSS has made a stunning charge, collecting 17 votes in four rounds to climb to fourth. Tony rounds out the top five.

 

[Ocha905]

View attachment 2209312

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to present our Best Rookie Award. Now, SSSSSS might have won this by default as our only rookie, but don't let that fool you, his stats tell the story of someone who truly earned this honour.

Finishing second in kicks for the season, just one behind Chipmunk (who we're pretty sure was hoarding them like nuts), SSSSSS made the field his playground, collecting possessions at will. He ranked sixth for marks, third for handballs, and despite his well documented aversion to tackling, somehow managed to wrap up 18 opponents, though we suspect they just froze in fear when they saw him coming.

The umpires seemed particularly fond of our rookie too, giving him the fourth most free kicks on the team. And with 11 goals and the fourth highest Dreamteam score of 1,082 points, SSSSSS has proven that even in a field of one, he would've been tough to beat.

Please put your hands together for our Best Rookie, SSSSSS!

Sounds like a Super, Sensational, Suave, Spectacular, Scintillating and Successful season! Nice one!

 

[MWPP]

Sounds like a Super, Sensational, Suave, Spectacular, Scintillating and Successful season! Nice one!

I tried that concept when penning an EKA pitch draft but yours came Superbly

Congratulations SSSSSS
I love what you added last season and you really seemed to find your groove even more as the season progressed

 

[tony]

Ladies, gentlemen and Bears, before we announce our Best Club Player, I need to address the... interesting geographical spread of our voting panel. Apparently, the Bears' influence reaches far and wide – we received votes from Latvia, Luxembourg, Romania, Turkey, the UK, and the USA. We even got a vote from the Gulf of Guinea in the Atlantic Ocean. Now, either we've become the most internationally diverse team in SFA history, or some of you might have gotten a sponsorship with Nord VPN. But hey, who are we to question the global reach of Bears nation?

And now, to the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the announcement of our Best Club Player.

This year, the honour goes to someone who’s truly earned it – Art Vandelay_

First, let me confess: I tried to check if this season was Art’s highest posting output ever. But after realising I’d have to dig through over a decade of archives, I decided that my time was better spent... well, doing literally anything else. So, let’s just say it probably is and move on.

Now, Art might always find himself playing second fiddle to Matera92, but this award is proof that his teammates wanted to give him a taste of what it’s like to be the star of the show. And let’s be honest, Art deserves it.

He’s been an incredible teammate, lighting up match threads with sharp wit and engaging banter, while also keeping things lively and entertaining in the team PM. Art knows how to bring people together, whether it’s with a clever comment or just making everyone laugh.

So please, put your hands together and let’s celebrate our Season 38 Best Club Player, Art Vandelay_!

 

[MWPP]

Congratulations Art Vandelay_
Almost anyone else would’ve been disheartened after that first round set of donuts but you wound back the clock in a posting sense and found some sim form as the season progressed . I love what you added from FF this season and well done on this overdue honour .

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

Art!! Congrats ya big goose!! Such a fun and comforting presence arond the club, always keeping things interesting.
No wonder you've got fans all around the globe!

 

[tony]

Long delay = definitely rigged to favour me.

View attachment 2209171

Ladies and gentlemen, our Leading Goalkicker award goes to Art Vandelay_, who somehow made playing Full Forward look both effortless and chaotic at the same time. Sure, some might say winning this award is a given when you’re parked at Full Forward all season, but Art tested that theory by going touchless in Round 1. He quickly redeemed himself with a 7 goal haul in Round 2, just to remind us he knows exactly where the big sticks are.

With 44 goals and 34 behinds for the season, Art perfected the "keep them guessing" approach to goal kicking. And as for sharing the ball? Let’s just say Art’s 78 scoring shots from 97 possessions proves he’s a proud graduate of the "sharing is overrated" academy. Though with only one free kick received all season, it seems the umpires weren’t in the mood to share either.

What really stood out, though, were his 18 tackles, the 6th highest for the Bears. We’d love to know how many of those were on Matera92, just to keep him from stealing the limelight or the goals.

Please give a big round of applause for our Leading Goalkicker, Art Vandelay_!

Ladies, gentlemen and Bears, before we announce our Best Club Player, I need to address the... interesting geographical spread of our voting panel. Apparently, the Bears' influence reaches far and wide – we received votes from Latvia, Luxembourg, Romania, Turkey, the UK, and the USA. We even got a vote from the Gulf of Guinea in the Atlantic Ocean. Now, either we've become the most internationally diverse team in SFA history, or some of you might have gotten a sponsorship with Nord VPN. But hey, who are we to question the global reach of Bears nation?

And now, to the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the announcement of our Best Club Player.

This year, the honour goes to someone who’s truly earned it – Art Vandelay_

First, let me confess: I tried to check if this season was Art’s highest posting output ever. But after realising I’d have to dig through over a decade of archives, I decided that my time was better spent... well, doing literally anything else. So, let’s just say it probably is and move on.

Now, Art might always find himself playing second fiddle to Matera92, but this award is proof that his teammates wanted to give him a taste of what it’s like to be the star of the show. And let’s be honest, Art deserves it.

He’s been an incredible teammate, lighting up match threads with sharp wit and engaging banter, while also keeping things lively and entertaining in the team PM. Art knows how to bring people together, whether it’s with a clever comment or just making everyone laugh.

So please, put your hands together and let’s celebrate our Season 38 Best Club Player, Art Vandelay_!

View attachment 2209320

View attachment 2209321

 

[tony]

Round 15 Recap: Bears 149 - 114 Bombers
Round 15 took us on a whirlwind journey to Johannesburg, where our coach somehow missed the memo and was last seen shouting tactics into the void from a completely empty Stadium in the Sky. Enter our new "coach," a local who knew nothing about Qooty but promised to give it a crack if he got a selfie with Test Tickle. With this winning strategy, we hit the ground running. JoseMourinho kicked us off with a goal in the first minute, and from there, it was all about vibes and making it up as we went. Art Vandelay_ and Jose combined for nine goals, while Matera92 and JoshWoodenSpoon turned the midfield into their personal playgrounds. Despite a late Bombers charge, we held our nerve and notched a 35 point win, keeping our finals hopes alive and proving that sometimes, a clueless coach and pure chaos are all you need to get the job done.


JoshWoodenSpoon Matera92 JoseMourinho RonnieRaven Chipmunk Test Tickle

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Round 10 Recap: Warriors 141 - 109 Bears
The Bears travelled to Coney Island for Round 10, hoping to celebrate @Art Vandelay_’s 300th game with a win, but as usual, the milestone curse hit harder than Test Tickle in a marking contest. Art kicked two early goals, giving us a glimmer of hope, but the Warriors were more accurate in front of goal and took a narrow lead into quarter time. After a seesawing second quarter and a brief third quarter lead thanks to Art and Cap, the Warriors unleashed a six goal tidal wave that left us floundering. A spirited final term push led by SSSSSS and Tandy brought us within 9 points, but the Warriors had the last laugh, kicking away to win by 32. On the bright side, SSSSSS had a career best game, Art celebrated his milestone with 3 goals, and Cap dominated with 4 majors.

View attachment 2209306
SSSSSS Chipmunk Cap RonnieRaven MKMatty

I am invoking HoF privilege to demand all votes this match be stripped.
None of you talentless shits deserve a vote for not honouring my 300th match.

 

[tony]

Round 16 Recap: Bears 66 - 79 Dragons
Heritage Round saw us back at the Stadium in the Sky, where the muddy conditions turned our clash with the Dragons into a slippery, low key episode of Wipeout. We came out firing, slotting the first three goals while the Dragons couldn’t find the big sticks, taking a 7 point lead at the first break. But the second quarter? Oh, it was a disaster. The Dragons decided to remember how to kick, rattling off seven straight goals and leaving us floundering 23 points down at halftime. The third term was a mud soaked grind, with more fumbles than highlights, as both teams struggled to score, and the Dragons edged further ahead. In the last quarter, Art Vandelay_ gave us a glimmer of hope, sparking a mini comeback alongside MKMatty and RonnieRaven to cut the margin to nine points. Unfortunately, our kicking boots deserted us at the worst time, and the Dragons flew away with a 13 point win, leaving our finals dreams stuck in the mud. On the bright side, Art nabbed three goals and the Bears' all-time points record


Art Vandelay_ Millky95 RonnieRaven I Dont Care JoshWoodenSpoon Cap

 

[tony]

I am invoking HoF privilege to demand all votes this match be stripped.
None of you talentless shits deserve a vote for not honouring my 300th match.

We kept up Bears tradition and lost your milestone match, what more do you want from us and no we can't shoot Matera92 out of a cannon for you.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Ladies, gentlemen and Bears, before we announce our Best Club Player, I need to address the... interesting geographical spread of our voting panel. Apparently, the Bears' influence reaches far and wide – we received votes from Latvia, Luxembourg, Romania, Turkey, the UK, and the USA. We even got a vote from the Gulf of Guinea in the Atlantic Ocean. Now, either we've become the most internationally diverse team in SFA history, or some of you might have gotten a sponsorship with Nord VPN. But hey, who are we to question the global reach of Bears nation?

And now, to the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the announcement of our Best Club Player.

This year, the honour goes to someone who’s truly earned it – Art Vandelay_

First, let me confess: I tried to check if this season was Art’s highest posting output ever. But after realising I’d have to dig through over a decade of archives, I decided that my time was better spent... well, doing literally anything else. So, let’s just say it probably is and move on.

Now, Art might always find himself playing second fiddle to Matera92, but this award is proof that his teammates wanted to give him a taste of what it’s like to be the star of the show. And let’s be honest, Art deserves it.

He’s been an incredible teammate, lighting up match threads with sharp wit and engaging banter, while also keeping things lively and entertaining in the team PM. Art knows how to bring people together, whether it’s with a clever comment or just making everyone laugh.

So please, put your hands together and let’s celebrate our Season 38 Best Club Player, Art Vandelay_!

View attachment 2209320

View attachment 2209321

Pictured: Art letting Matera know all about his award

 

[tony]

Ladies, Gentlemen and Bears, it's time for the Captain's Award, or as I like to call it, the "Who Made Me The Best Offer" Award. After carefully considering all bribes, I mean nominations, I'm pleased to announce that Chipmunk's offer to split his winter stash of nuts was simply too good to refuse.

But in all seriousness, choosing a winner for this award was genuinely difficult. We have so many Bears who contribute enormously to our club, making this decision anything but straightforward.

However, Chipmunk's contributions this season have been exceptional. From his tireless work in the Leadership Group to his instrumental role in recruiting our newest rookie Bear, he's been a driving force behind the scenes. His match reports have become must read material, though I suspect he writes them between setting odds at ChippyBet. Speaking of which, I should mention that this speech is officially sponsored by ChippyBet: "Where the nuts are always on the line!"

Joking aside, Chipmunk exemplifies what this award represents; dedication, leadership, and an unwavering commitment to making our club better.
Please join me in congratulating Chipmunk, our Captain's Award winner for Season 38!

 

[Art Vandelay_]

We kept up Bears tradition and lost your milestone match, what more do you want from us and not we can't shoot Matera92 out of a cannon for you.

If you really loved me you would.
Even if you hated me you should anyway. It is very satisfying.

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

Yay Chippy!!!! Just a fantastic and well-deserved recognition of how much you've added to the place since coming in - we're very lucky to have you and the humour, smarts and creativity you bring. I will plant an acorn in your honour.

 

[tony]

Round 17 Recap: Old Boys 84 - 82 Bears
Round 17 saw us venturing to Spotswood for a tussle with the Old Boys, and it was a classic Bears outing, dominance in play, chaos in front of goal. We kicked 1.6 before the Old Boys troubled the scorers, turning the art of scoring into a cruel spectator sport. Despite nine scoring shots to four by quarter time, we clung to a mere five point lead, our inefficiency a ticking time bomb. Matera92 tried to lead by example, slotting three majors, while Art Vandelay_ contributed four... behinds, that is. By game’s end, our 27 scoring shots looked impressive on paper but told the tragic tale of our two point loss. Finals hopes? Let's just say they’ve joined Art’s 300th goal party on the “not quite there” list.


Cap RonnieRaven Millky95 Matera92 Test Tickle Chipmunk