Official Team Thread ðŸŽ° Las Vegas Bears S39 Official Team Thread ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ 🎰 25 Seasons of Mediocrity

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Tonga Bob said:
Love your work here!

Inside every Tongan though there are two wolves, and one of them is pedantic. The pedantic wolf is asking me to point out that spinynorman comes before SSSSSS alphabetically, and if I didn't raise that with you the pedantic wolf WILL EAT ME.
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Tonga Bob said:
This pleases both me and my pedantic wolf.
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Never known a wolf who didn't love to howl
 
tony said:

"Transform and roll out!"

"For a time, I considered sparing your wretched little club... but now, you shall witness its dismemberment!"
That's what every opposition team thought. But they didn't count on Millky95, who this weekend plays his 150th game for the Las Vegas Bears. "Their defenses are broken, let the slaughter begin!"

"You got the touch... you got the power!"
From his first game to his 150th, he has dominated the field, crushed the opposition, and bled for the Bears jersey. "Arise, Millky95, arise!" Now, he joins our immortal ranks as a Life Member.

"Here's a hint!"
Just ask any opponent who's faced him: the bone-rattling tackles, the contested marks, the leadership when the game is on the line, and yes, even the occasional duck for a free kick. "Such heroic nonsense!" they scoffed, but they couldn't stop him. "Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong!"

"I have nothing but contempt for this court!"
If anyone knows that feeling, it's Millky95, twice robbed of the Mobbs Medal by teammates. "Why throw away your victory so recklessly?" But like Optimus Prime, he never backed down: "One shall stand, one shall fall."

"This is my command: time to light our darkest hour!"
This weekend against the Demons, Millky95 will do what he's always done: lead from the front, inspire those around him, and fight until the final siren. "It's a waste of energy!" the opposition cry, but they know what's coming.

"Your bargaining posture is highly dubious!"
But his legacy? That's beyond question. 150 games. Life Membership. Three Mateflon Medals. Countless memories. "You're either lying or stupid!" say the critics, but the numbers don't lie.

Here's to you, Millky95: "Destiny... you cannot destroy my destiny!"
A Bear forever, a legend always. "The power is yours!"

"For the non-Transformers fans: Basically, what we're saying is Millky95 is awesome. Huge congrats on 150 games for the Bears and Life Membership at the club!"


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The full cream of milks.
 
tony said:

Back at home in the stadium in the sky, the Bears braced for another slog in the mud. The conditions were messy, the ball was slippery, and half the team looked like they had just stepped out of a swamp. But most importantly, Millky95 was celebrating his 150th game for the club, and the Bears were determined to make it one to remember.

The first quarter started with some wasted opportunities, with Tandy and Ocha905 both missing early shots before spinynorman finally broke through for the opening goal. The Bears had the early edge, but the Demons struck back with three goals in a row to take a narrow lead at quarter time.

The second term saw the Bears take control. Cap got the ball rolling, MKMatty followed up, and then Art Vandelay_ found his range, booting two quick goals to put the Bears 17 points up. Despite dominating general play, the Bears couldn't fully capitalise, with a string of missed chances keeping the Demons in the contest. The visitors, on the other hand, were making the most of their opportunities, kicking straight to stay within striking distance. Late goals from RonnieRaven and Ocha905 helped maintain a 12 point lead at the main break, but it felt like the margin should have been greater.

The third quarter was an arm wrestle. Art Vandelay_ added to his tally, but every time the Bears looked like pulling away, the Demons hit back. With the game locked at 56 apiece, it was SSSSSS who stepped up to slot a crucial goal and give the Bears a six point buffer heading into the final term.

With the game on the line, the Bears found another gear. I Dont Care and MKMatty hit the scoreboard, and RonnieRaven put the icing on the cake as the Bears held off a late surge to secure a hard fought 12 point win in the mud.

The win puts us up to second on the ladder as we head off to Coney Island to face the fifth placed Warriors in the Match of the Round.

Disposal Leaders​

Chipmunk led the way with 16 disposals, proving that even in the mud, he could find the Qooty. MWPP wasn’t far behind with 15, while RonnieRaven (13) and MKMatty (11) also found plenty of it to go with their 2 goals each. Shadow Man finished with 11 touches and a game high seven marks.

And then there was Matera92, who managed to avoid possession entirely. He will say he was playing an advanced tactical role, others will say he was just conserving energy for next week and then one certain individual will just say he is shit. Either way, the statisticians barely had to acknowledge his existence.

Goal Kickers​

Up forward, Art Vandelay_ was the main contributor with three goals, making the most of his chances. MKMatty and RonnieRaven each bagged two, while I Dont Care, Cap, Ocha905, SSSSSS, and spinynorman all chipped in with one.

And then there was Tandy, who must have misread the scoring system, because he spent the day perfecting the art of the minor score with four behinds.

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FFS. You know he craves the spotlight.
He'll actually be enjoying this.
 

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Rd 4 Stats New
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    Qooty Stats as of Round 4
    Our stats are suffering a bit from the poor weather we have played in over the first 4 weeks of the season, 3 Rainy and 1 Muddy game.
    Thankfully for us, Art Vandelay_ and MWPP are making the most of their chances in front of goal. Art has slotted 11 goals from 16 shots (68.75% accuracy), while MWPP has been even sharper, converting 8 from 11 (72.73% accuracy). On the flipside, Tandy has struggled a bit, kicking 2 from 6 (33.33% accuracy), while Ocha905 has had an even tougher time with 2 from 7 (28.57% accuracy).

    Season Stats.png


    Posting Stats
    19 posters joined in on the fun we had last week with the Warriors, with Cap just managing to bring up the ton. Overall our numbers have been pretty consistent over the first 4 weeks and its great to see so many of you each and every week. Tonga Bob, I hope the Wolf is now happy.

    posting stats.png

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP Ocha905 RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man spinynorman SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
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    Another week another resounding win. As always there'd be plenty of worthy contributions to highlight but one Bear in particular made me want to subconsciously raise a glass to. So here goes -

    MKMatty was kind enough to reveal the meaning of his initials -

    1740450125239.png

    and subsequently paid credit to another Sweet team in order to not get sued after Tonga Bob made an estimation -

    1740450296773.png
    1740450329073.png

    Lastly, (I'm sure there's more MK gold but I did a customary early knock off) Matty elaborated that he uses his big assets to charm the socks off us all -

    1740450493540.png

    For a sensational week Majestic King Matty there's nothing more to do except "say the words Bart". Good Onya mate!
     

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    Art Vandelay_ said:
    Who the **** would want one? my local Salvos has one in the window with $0.05 as its price. Still not worth it.
    Click to expand...

    Don't lie.

    You couldn't afford it.
     
    Rd 4 Review New
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    For the first time this season, the Bears left the comforts of Las Vegas and hit the road, landing in Coney Island for yet another wet and miserable affair. The conditions may have been ugly, but we weren’t about to let that spoil the milestone celebrations for Tandy (100 games) and Matera92 (350 games).

    The first quarter was a tight, scrappy contest as both teams struggled to adjust to the wet conditions. The Warriors struck first, but the Bears responded quickly through Art Vandelay_, before Matera92 stepped up and slotted one himself, just to remind everyone he still remembers how to get a touch. A couple of missed chances late in the term meant the Bears held only a six point lead at the first break.

    The second quarter saw the Bears break away early, with I Dont Care snapping a goal to push the margin to 12 points. But the Warriors responded swiftly, kicking five of the next six goals to put the Bears on the back foot. Cap hit the scoreboard to keep things close before MWPP stepped up with a crucial late goal, snatching back a one point lead at half time.

    The back and forth continued in the third term, with the Warriors again making the early running. But the Bears weren’t going anywhere. spinynorman and MWPP hit the scoreboard in quick succession to flip the game once more, before Millky95 joined the action, giving the Bears a seven point advantage heading into the final break.

    In the last quarter, the Bears took over. Millky95 struck twice in quick succession, making it three in a row for him and putting the Bears firmly in control. From there, the floodgates opened. Tandy ensured his milestone game had a moment to remember, while MWPP and spinynorman put the finishing touches on a dominant finish. In total, the Bears piled on six goals to one in the final term, storming home to claim a 38 point victory.

    For the first time this season, there were no donuts this week. RonnieRaven led the way with 24 disposals, Cap followed closely with 23 and a goal. I Dont Care collected 19 touches and kicked a goal, while rookie spinynorman delivered his best performance yet with 19 disposals, a team high 7 marks, and 2 goals.

    Up forward, MWPP kicked 4 goals, Millky95 booted 3, and spinynorman added 2. Goals also came from Art Vandelay_, Cap, I Dont Care, SSSSSS, and milestone men Matera92 and Tandy.

    4 match stats.png ​

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP Ocha905 RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man spinynorman SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
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    Back at the Stadium in the Sky, the Bears finally got some fine weather for the first time this season. What followed was a scrap against the Bombers, full of twists, turns, and an absolute masterclass in how not to kick straight.

    The Bombers came out swinging, slamming through three unanswered goals before the Bears even knew what hit them. It took MKMatty to settle things down with the Bears’ first before Ocha905 and Matera92 got in on the action. But while the Bears were finding their feet, our accuracy was already going missing. Four straight shots for just one goal, it was like someone at the blackjack table trying to win back their losses but only making things worse. The Bombers capitalised and had the final say of the term, leaving the Bears trailing by 17 points at quarter time.

    The second term started brighter, with Millky95 finding the goals early, but the Bombers responded with three in a row to stretch the lead out to 29 points. Enter Art Vandelay_ and Matera92, who seemingly decided to turn the game into their own personal goal kicking duel. Art struck first, only for Matera92 to answer minutes later, unwilling to let Art steal the spotlight. MKMatty and Grin followed up with two quick goals, and suddenly, the Bears had reeled in the deficit to just two points by halftime.

    The third quarter was a seesawing battle, with neither team able to break away. Art Vandelay_ kept his goal tally ticking over, but Matera92 wasn’t about to let him steal the spotlight, answering back with two goals in quick succession to put the Bears in front for the first time all game. The Bombers kept pressing, but as the clock ticked down, an unlikely hero emerged. JoshWoodenSpoon, more accustomed to stopping goals than kicking them, found himself in a rare attacking position. With the chance to extend the lead, he calmly slotted it through, giving the Bears an 8 point buffer heading into the final change.

    And then came the carnage. Behind after behind after behind. The Bears peppered the goals but couldn’t buy a major, with Matera92, MKMatty, Test Tickle, Art Vandelay, MWPP, and I Dont Care all adding to the growing collection of missed opportunities. It was like watching someone pile up plates at an all-you-can-eat buffet only to realise they’d overcommitted. It took Art Vandelay, who, by this stage, was locked in a personal battle with Matera92 to finally straighten up and put the Bears back in front.

    The Bombers kept pushing, but spinynorman gave the Bears some breathing room with a clutch goal before Art put the finishing touches on the game with his fifth, making sure he had the last laugh over Matera.

    The Bears ran out 11 point winners and now sit second on the ladder by just 0.5%, setting up a top of the table clash against the Roys this week.

    Stats Snapshot
    Cap and JoseMourinho led the way with 25 disposals each, Cap also adding six hitouts to his tally. MWPP was everywhere with 23 touches and applied strong defensive pressure with eight tackles, while Millky95 led the team in tackles with a massive 11 to go with his 18 disposals. JoshWoodenSpoon had an impact at both ends with 20 disposals and nine marks, while SSSSS and RonnieRaven each racked up 20 touches of their own. MKMatty had 17 disposals, six marks, and four tackles while also hitting the scoreboard with two goals.

    Up forward, Art Vandelay_ led the charge with 5.3, while Matera92 followed closely with 4.1. MKMatty chipped in with 2.1, and spinynorman, JoshWoodenSpoon, Millky95, Grin, Ocha905, and Cap all added a goal each. Only five players didn’t reach double figure disposals, but they made up for it on the scoreboard, contributing a combined 11.8. Accuracy was a struggle, with 10 different players registering at least one behind, with Art, Ocha, and Tandy each kicking three.

    It was a true team effort, with every Bear reaching double figures in Dream Team points, though no one cracked the ton.

     
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    ​
    QOOTY STATS
    We finally got a game with fine weather and we made it count with most of the team getting double digit possessions for the game, but still no one is average 20 disposals a game or cracked the ton yet, with RonnieRaven being the closest with 91 disposals.
    On the weekend Cap kicked his 300th goal for the Bears becoming the 2nd person to do so and Matera92's 4 goals puts him 1 away from also kicking his 300th goal for the Bears. It might take Ocha905 3.8 and Tandy 2.7 a while to bring up there 300th goal with the way they are kicking this season.
    Millky95 was back to his tackling best adding 11 tackles to his season total and he received 6 free kicks for his hard work.
    Who would have believed that the 2 most selfish players in the team would be Art Vandelay_ and Matera92, Art only handballing once and Matera 3 times for the season, but they kicked 9 goals between them this weekend so we will let it slide for now.

    Season Stats.png

    POSTING STATS
    19 posters rocked up for our match thread against the bombers, with our numbers being a little down on previous weeks but still looking very good overall.

    But the stat everyone wants to know
    YOUTUBE MUSIC COUNT: 205 Videos

    posting stats.png

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP Ocha905 RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man spinynorman SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash Tonga Bob ​
     
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    Survivor's Diary: The Battle for the Top Spot

    Army Bear.png ​

    Day 6 – The Battle for the Top Spot

    We had marched deep into enemy territory, our fur still bristling from three straight victories. The jungle belonged to the Roys, their fighters beating their chests from the treetops, their gorilla banners waving in the canopy, determined to reclaim the dominance they had let slip the week prior. We, the Bears, had clawed our way up the ladder, and this was our chance to stake a claim to the highest branch.

    The battle began with an ambush. Art Vandelay_ struck first, sending the enemy scrambling, but the Roys countered with brute force. We fought back MWPP and Cap landing early blows but the jungle soon turned hostile. The enemy closed in, their war drums pounding, and by the end of the first skirmish, we found ourselves outflanked, trailing by three points.

    The second wave was relentless. The Roys rained down strikes from the canopy, forcing us onto the back foot. Art and Ocha905 fought valiantly, clawing back ground, but the Roys had numbers on their side. They swung from branch to branch, launching attacks from every angle. By the time the dust settled, we had lost more ground. Sixteen points behind, our supplies dwindling, as the Roys' gorilla like strength seemed to grow with each passing moment.

    The third assault was a bloodbath. The Roys swarmed, overwhelming our defences. Behind after behind, they pounded our lines before finally breaking through. The jungle belonged to them now. The Baron of Goat led the charge, tearing through our defence's like a storm through the undergrowth. We mounted a counteroffensive, Ocha905 and Matera92 struck back but the damage had been done. The enemy had pushed the lead to 27 points, and our forces were weary.

    By the final standoff, the Roys were ruthless. The gorilla warlords struck with precision, extending their grasp on the jungle. We fought to the bitter end MKMatty, Test Tickle, and Cap landing final blows but the canopy had already been claimed. The last of our forces retreated as the Roys roared in triumph, pounding their chests in victory by 35 points.

    We return to our camp, licking our wounds, knowing this war is far from over. The jungle has turned against us, but the Bears do not forget. We have dropped to 3rd on the ladder. We will sharpen our claws, we will regroup, and when the time comes, we will march back into the wilderness to take back what is ours.

    Our next expedition takes us back to our den where we face the Wonders. We shall defend our territory with renewed vigor.

    EXPEDITION LOG

    Scout Reports (Disposals)
    • Chipmunk: 29 jungle incursions
    • SSSSSS: 24 reconnaissance sweeps
    • RonnieRaven: 20 supply runs
    • MKMatty: 18 tactical maneuvers
    • Kane249: 18 guerrilla raids
    • Cap: 17 enemy crossings
    Successful Strikes (Goalkickers)
    • Art Vandelay: 2 direct hits
    • Cap: 2 precision strikes
    • MWPP: 2 enemy positions overrun
    • Ocha905: 2 defenses breached
    • I Dont Care: 1 successful ambush
    • Matera92: 1 tactical breakthrough
    • MKMatty: 1 enemy foothold seized
    • Test Tickle: 1 defensive line crushed
     
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    Official Team Thread ðŸŽ° Las Vegas Bears S39 Official Team Thread ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ 🎰 25 Seasons of Mediocrity


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