Official Team Thread Las Vegas Bears S38 Official Team Thread ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ 🎰 Congratulations Cap Mateflon Medal Winner

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Fixture
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    Fixture.gif

    Round One - Sunday, 28 July 2024
    Dragons FFC v Las Vegas Bears at Ljp86's Lair

    Round Two - Sunday, 4 August 2024
    Las Vegas Bears v Roys FFC at The Stadium in the Sky

    Round Three - Sunday, 11 August 2024
    Baghdad Bombers v Las Vegas Bears at Abdu Prison

    Round Four - Sunday, 18 August 2024
    Gold City Royals v Las Vegas Bears at The Golden Throne

    Round Five - Sunday, 25 August 2024
    Las Vegas Bears v Gumbies FFC at The Stadium in the Sky

    Round Six - Sunday, 1 September 2024
    Mount Buller Demons v Las Vegas Bears at The Snow Dome

    Round Seven - Sunday, 8 September 2024
    BYE: Las Vegas Bears

    Round Eight - Sunday, 15 September 2024
    Las Vegas Bears v East Side Hawks at The Stadium in the Sky

    Round Nine - Sunday, 22 September 2024
    Las Vegas Bears v Sin City Swamprats at The Stadium in the Sky

    Round Ten - Sunday, 29 September 2024
    Coney Island Warriors v Las Vegas Bears at Van Cortlandt Park

    Round Eleven - Sunday, 6 October 2024
    Fighting Furies v Las Vegas Bears at rfctigerarmy's hippodrome

    Round Twelve - Sunday, 13 October 2024
    Roys FFC v Las Vegas Bears at Brunswick Junction Oval

    Round Thirteen - Sunday, 20 October 2024
    Las Vegas Bears v Gold City Royals at The Stadium in the Sky

    Round Fourteen - Sunday, 27 October 2024
    BYE: Las Vegas Bears

    Round Fifteen - Sunday, 3 November 2024
    Las Vegas Bears v Baghdad Bombers at The Stadium in the Sky

    Round Sixteen (Heritage Round) - Sunday, 10 November 2024
    Las Vegas Bears v Dragons FFC at The Stadium in the Sky

    Round Seventeen - Sunday, 17 November 2024
    Ophidian Old Boys v Las Vegas Bears at Spotswood Oval

    Round Eighteen - Sunday, 24 November 2024
    Las Vegas Bears v West Coast Wonders at The Stadium in the Sky

    Finals Week One - Sunday, 1 December 2024

    Finals Week Two - Sunday, 8 December 2024

    Finals Week Three - Sunday, 15 December 2024

    Finals Week Four - Sunday, 22 December 2024    ​
     
    • Cap Milestone & Life Membership
    • Milestone.png ​

    This weekend, we not only hit the field to play for the Las Vegas Bears, but we also celebrate a monumental achievement by one of our most distinguished teammates, Cap, who will be playing his 150th game for the club!

    From the moment Cap joined the Bears in Season 29, he has been a force to be reckoned with on the field. In his very first season with us, he clinched the Mateflon Medal, setting the tone for an extraordinary career. Let's take a moment to look back at his incredible journey and the accolades that highlight his outstanding contributions to the club.

    3 time Best and Fairest Mateflon Medal Winner: Cap's consistency and excellence have earned him our club's highest honor not once, not twice, but three times. His dedication and skill set the bar for all Bears players.

    4 time Leading Goalkicker: With a knack for finding the goals, Cap has led our goalkicking charts in four separate seasons. His ability to score from anywhere on the field is legendary.

    3 time Best Forward Winner: Dominating the forward line, Cap has been recognised as our best forward on three occasions. His agility and strength have made him a nightmare for defenders.

    1 time Best Midfielder Winner: Not just confined to the forward line, Cap has also shown his prowess in the midfield, earning the title of Best Midfielder once. His versatility is a testament to his all-around footballing genius.

    2nd on the All time Goals List: With each game, Cap inches closer to the top spot on our all time goals list. Currently sitting in 2nd place, his goal scoring feats are nothing short of remarkable.

    And now, as he steps onto the field for his 150th game for the Bears, Cap will be honoured with Life Membership of the Las Vegas Bears. This milestone is not just a number but a testament to his unwavering commitment, exceptional talent, and the indomitable spirit he brings to our team.

    Cap’s journey has been as delightful as a sing-along in the big blue house, bringing joy and excitement to every game.

    Join us in celebrating Cap’s extraordinary journey and cheer him on as he adds yet another memorable chapter to his storied career. Here's to many more goals, games, and glories!

    Congratulations, Cap! The Bears family is immensely proud of you!

    Life Membership Cap.png ​
     
    • Round 1 Review
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    DRAGONS SPOIL THE HIBERNATING BEARS' PARTY​


    For the opening round of the season after a whirlwind offseason, the mighty Las Vegas Bears travelled to Ljp86's Lair aiming to slay the dragons. It was an engaging leadup that offered everything from league competitions and debates about the fixture as well as good natured banter from both teams. The loyal Vegas fans were buoyed by milestone man/latest Vegas life member Cap 's return to the Ruck. At the open training session, they were also excited by the glimpses of ''heavy' and 'raw' talent of debutant SSSSSS as well as the flair of reinvigorated veteran Fred Vandelay_ at FF. The fans showed up in droves along with the classy AceAndy on match day, undeterred by the MUDDY weather. Our team wore black arm bands for the match in solidarity with the Wonders as we mourned the loss of the legendary GUH.

    The first quarter was an enthralling contest that defied the difficult conditions as SSSSSS fittingly got the opening disposal of his qareer and also the season in the first few seconds. Milestone man Cap lead from the front with a dominant yet unselfish display that included a score assist for each of our 4 opening term goals (which included one by yours truly, two by Millky95 and even 1 by Matera92 much to Art Vandelay_ 's horror). We lead by as much as 2 goals during that quarter but the home team lifted later on in the term resulting in a narrow 1 point Bears lead by Quarter Time.

    As conditions worsened in the second quarter, we struggled early on in the second term as the Dragons piled on the first 6 scoring shots of the term to surge to a 17 point buffer. Thankfully, we then found another gear through majors from the talented Tandy and the classy Cap . In time-on of that quarter, Matera92 kicked a goal to restore our quarter time 1 point lead before Art Vandelay_ was controversially and shockingly substituted out late in the 2nd quarter in a decision that was sponsored by Nord VPN.

    Despite this questionable decision, the game was shaping up to be a thriller with just 1 point separating the two teams at both QT and HT. However, the less said about the second half, the better. In short, the Dragons caught us hibernating for too long after HT as they kicked 7 unanswered goals in the third quarter and 3 more in the first half of the final quarter. By the time Tommycash goaled at the 10 minute mark of the final term the margin had stretched out to an ugly 8 goals. The Dragons kicked 3 of the last 4 goals of the match as they handed us a disappointing 60 point thrashing.

    Surprisingly despite the conditions and the result, there were still some individual highlights. Tandy (81 DT , 7 tackles, 1 goal) put in a resume-material performance against his main opponent . Cap (72 DT, 10 hitouts, 22 disposals, 1 goal) battled all day and provided silver service to Millky95 (2 goals, 62 DT) who did very well against his opponent in an epic battle . Talented debutant SSSSSS (20 disposals, 4 marks, 54 DT) played as if it was his 101st rather than 1st game. On a tough day for forwards that included donuts for Art Vandelay_ from limited gametime, Senor M accumulated an impressive 55 DT, 15 disposals, 3 marks and 2 tackles after starting from HFF whilst the opportunistic /crafty Matera92 managed 2 goals from FP despite limited supply. Amongst a defence that was under siege, the evergreen RookiePick and Electronic_Renaissance both won their one-on-ones.

    Overall, it was a disappointing way to open our season but lessons have been learnt and there is plenty of upside/potential/improvement from here. According to Chippybet we are deserved favourites this weekend against the Roys.
     
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    • Round 2 Review
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    BEARS HANG ON IN A 3 POINT THRILLER AGAINST THE FAST-FINISHING ROYS ​

    Last Sunday evening we overindulged on tony 's Sea Salt Caramel and did some soul searching. Some unconventional training methods resulted in some Sweet Olympic success including gold medallists CountryLad & kane249. Our equine friends Shadow Man and Chipmunk were also victorious . Talented young rookie SSSSSS continued to impress at training and Art Vandelay_ trained the house down after the disappointment of last weekend. Overall , the long-suffering Las Vegas fans had plenty to be optimistic about ahead of our home game against the Roys. A steady leadup which included everything from references to New Zealand by day and the mysterious Jenny aka Jezmiester40 by night kept them entertained.

    On a WARM DAY at The Stadium In The Sky, Cap continued his dominance from last game with a rare two handed opening smash out of the ruck but it was the Roys who drew first blood with the opening major. A few minutes later Matera92 got us on the board with a minor before he used his face to smother the ball so frenemy Art Vandelay_ could goal. A goal to yours truly gave us a lead before fellow FP Matera92 followed suit gave us a surprise 9 point lead late in the term. Despite a late goal and another behind to the Roys in the last couple of minutes, we held on to our handy 2 point lead at the first change.

    Art Vandelay_ made a statement in the second term with a brilliant early goal as SSSSSS 's first goal of his qareer sent the crowd into a Mexican wave frenzy. We were then left to rue inaccuracy before , you guessed it, Art Vandelay_ broke our run of misses with another exceptional goal. Goals to yours truly and Chipmunk extended our lead to 22 points midway through the term before the Roys fought back with 2 of their own. A goal apiece in the last 1.5 minutes to Art Vandelay_ and Cap gave us a crucial 21 point lead at the main change.

    In the third quarter it was an arm wrestle before the Roys seemed to split the game open with a defining goal, but it didn't take long for Matera92 to produce a quick response. Art Vandelay_ goalled yet again not long after. Embarrassingly, yours truly battled the yips and indeed needs to book an appointment with OPSM with just one major and three behinds in a dangerous but ineffective passage. By the time Art Vandelay_ (again) and then Chipmunk goaled at the 19 and 20 minute marks respectively we had surged to an unbelievable 55 point lead. We did set up the platypus formation but 2 goals to the Roys in the last minute including one controversial one that went through after the siren trimmed our lead to a less impressive but still seemingly-comfortable 42 points.

    The Roys made us very nervous with 2 goals in the first 2 minutes of the final term before letting us off the hook with 2 easy misses oon afterwards. Art Vandelay_ 's amazing tackle and long-range goal was against the run of play, and crucially extended our lead back to 24 points at the 9 minute mark. The Roys kept coming, kicking the next 3 goals to trim the margin to just 3 points by the 23 1/2 minute mark. After an extremely nervous 90 seconds , we held on for a memorable 3 point win

    This was an impressive upset win against a highly rated team, and there were many outstanding individual performances. Cap (98 DT, 15 hitouts, 24 disposals, 4 marks, 1 goal) was brilliant and provided silver service to engine room partners in crime Tandy (85 DT, 9 tackles) and Millky95 (74 DT, 6 tackles) Art Vandelay_ (7 goals, 1 behind, 72 DT) had a day out and what he did to his opponent was Barely Legal as forward pockets yours truly (4 goals, 5 behinds) and Matera92 (2 goals, 2 behinds) also cashed in. Chipmunk (79 DT, 2 goals, 20 disposals) dominated as JoshWoodenSpoon (11 marks) gave the defence polish and rebound all day. Electronic_Renaissance (74 DT, 7 marks, 18 disposals) showed composure and lifted when it mattered most.

    We will start well-deserved favourites with Chippybet for our road trip to Abdu Prison to play the Bombers this week.
     
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    • JWS 250th Game Milestone
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    Hey everyone, it's time for a special surprise for our superstar JoshWoodenSpoon, who’s celebrating his 250th game this weekend. We’ve got a Scameo from none other than Josh Wooden, the player who inspired him. Check it out!

    ​
     
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    • Round 3 Review
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    This is a dramatisation of the past week.

    After spending a delightful week with the Bombers in the match thread, we headed to Baghdad to take on the Bombers. Chipmunk had been itching to drive the bus for a while, so we thought, why not? How much damage could he possibly cause in the middle of the desert? As it turns out, quite a bit, judging by the look of it.

    Chipmunk traffic accident.png

    It was also Joshwoodenspoon’s 250th game, so his family had stowed away on the bus because they were too tight to pay for their own way to the game.

    Chipmunk got us to the ground in one piece, but that’s more than I can say for the bus. We won’t be getting our deposit back, that’s for sure. We headed to the change rooms where Test Tickle was ensuring everyone got some fluids into them before the game.

    testy mad monday.png

    We took to the field running through a special Spoon Guard of Honour for the milestone man.

    Spoon Guard of Honour.png

    We couldn’t have asked for a worse start, giving up a goal within the first minute. But it didn’t take us long to respond. After a point from Milky, MWPP kicked our first for the day and put us in front. That lasted all of 60 seconds before we conceded another goal, and things only got worse as our accuracy was so poor we couldn’t find the goals even with a map and compass. On the other hand, the Bombers were kicking brilliantly and had 5 goals to their names. Our pot smoking coach could see things were going bad and brought on CountryLad to replace the milestone man after just 7 minutes. In his pot riddled mind, he thought a Country Lad had a better chance of rounding up the Goat Lovers than a spoon.

    After a run of behinds, it took Bears rookie SSSSSS to show the team how to kick straight, putting one right through the middle to bring the margin back to 15 points. This inspired his older teammates, and just before quarter time, Matera thought he had taken a mark before realising it was a handpass. He played on and kicked truly to bring us back within 8 points at the break.

    After the break, we continued our poor kicking until ruckman Cap finally got one through the middle to level the game. As usual, that lasted 60 seconds before the Bombers got back in front, and they continued to kick straight, slotting 7 goals from their 9 shots, while we managed 4 from 13. I Dont Care who had wandered onto the field, somehow found himself with the ball in hand, snapped a miraculous goal to bring us within 3 points. We were now peppering the goals but still missing. Art Vandelay, who until now was staring down the barrel of a donuts game, found himself in a fortunate position when the Bombers’ full back dropped the ball. Art picked it up, took a bounce, and kicked truly to put us in front. The pot smoker finally realised that Josh was gathering splinters in his backside and sent him onto the field for JoseMourinho. It worked immediately, with Josh intercepting the ball off a drunken Bomber and kicking a goal just 50 seconds after coming on. It was a huge momentum lifter for the Bears right before half time. The Bears took a 9 point lead into the break.

    The Bombers kicked the first goal after half time, but still riding the momentum from the JWS goal, the Bears started kicking accurately, with Shadow Man, Cap, and SSSSSS all adding goals to the score. The Bombers managed the next goal before Art kicked his second of the game, giving us the biggest margin of the match at 22 points. The Bombers responded with the next 2 goals, closing the gap to under 2 goals. They had all the momentum going into the 3 quarter time break. But Kane249, determined to win for his old mate Josh, stepped up. He crunched a Bomber, picked up the ball, and snapped truly on the 3 quarter time siren to give the Bears a 16 point lead going into the last quarter.

    SSSSSS had the perfect chance to give us a great start to the final term but managed to hit the post. From this point on, the Bombers took control of the game, having the next 7 shots. Thankfully for us, they had picked up our yips and could only managed 2 goals 5 from those 7 shots. The game was now tied, and the Bombers had all the momentum. But from the kick in, the Bears went end to end, with CountryLad kicking it to Fat Tony, who found Chipmunk. Chipmunk then handed it off to Matera92, who hogged the limelight and kicked the goal from the wing. The Bears were back in front with 11 minutes to play. The Bombers, now with the yips, were missing shots, but we couldn’t get the ball away from them. SSSSSS had left the field and was in the timekeepers' box, urging them to blow the siren. With 4:45 left on the clock, the Bombers found the goals and were back in front. SSSSSS quickly told them to keep their hands off the button as he ran back onto the field. With just over 2 minutes left, the ball fell to Joshwoodenspoon, who could be the hero in his milestone game, launched a bomb from outside 50 but missed. With a point the difference and only 2:18 left on the clock, the Bombers tried to ice the game but missed a pass, giving us another chance. Josh picked up the ball and kicked it to MWPP, who was called to play on because the pass wasn’t 15 metres. MWPP quickly took a flying shot on goal but, like everyone else today, missed. The scores were tied with 54 seconds left to play. The Bombers, needing a score to win, kicked long down the middle, but they were somehow outmarked by the smallest player on the field. Chipmunk, knowing there was no time left to waste, played on and kicked as hard as he could, spilling all his nuts he had saved for after the game. The ball sailed a whopping 80 metres straight through the middle as the siren sounded. Josh got his milestone win, and Chipmunk was the hero. The Bears fans raced onto the field to join in the celebration, with Chipmunk triumphantly being raised into the sky.

    Chipmunk the Hero.png

    The crowd began to part, and everyone was waiting to see who was coming. To everyone’s surprise, it was David Hasselhoff strolling through, belting out one of his greatest hits.



    The Bears partied the night away and headed home with the 4 points and 4th place on the ladder.
    ​

    Match Stats

    Baghdad Bombers vs. Las Vegas Bears - Season 38, Round 03

    Match Report for the Season 38, Round 03 Sweet Football Association match - Baghdad Bombers vs. Las Vegas Bears
    sweetfa.plus
     
    • Round 4 Review
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    ROYALS RAVAGE NAPPING BEARS

    After back to back thrilling wins , the mighty Las Vegas Bears travelled to the Golden Throne for a grudge match against the Royals, the team who knocked us out of the finals in S37. It was a fun build-up which included celebrating the homecoming of MKMatty as we trained the house down by day and gambled 'responsibly' with Chipmunk 's Chippybet by night. On match day, five loyal Gold-City based Bears fans joined us on the team bus as our driver Senor M made hook turns look easy.

    On a beautiful day with warm conditions that should have favoured us on paper thanks to our prematch/pretraining 'cold beverage' routine, it was the Royals who drew first blood. Returning star MKMatty got us on the board with a behind before favourite son Matera92's own behind then major levelled the scores. A team foray forward was converted into a rushed behind, resulting in a surprise 1 point lead at the 14 minute mark. It had all the makings of a thriller. However, we conceded two goals later in the term to slip to being 11 points down at the first change.

    Unfortunately the Royals continued their momentum in the second quarter, kicking 3 further goals (making it 5 unanswered goals either side of the first break) before yours truly kicked one against the run of play to bring us back to within 23 points. Art Vandelay managed 2 goals later in that term off limited supply but ultimately it was a disappointing 3 goal to 8 quarter that left us 45 points down at the main change.

    After a half time spray , we stemmed the flow slightly in the third quarter, partly thanks to the Royals' inaccuracy. We conceded 3.6 whilst adding 2.3 of our own thanks to back to back majors from Art Vandelay_ and JoseMourinho. If anything the 54 points deficit at the final change flattered us as we were way off the pace. All we had left to play for in the final term was pride whilst limiting further damage to our %, but the less said about this quarter, the better. We were simply no match for the faster, fitter and stronger Royals. Back to back goals to Matera92 and Cap midway through the term gave the fans rare highlights to cheer but we still slumped to a horrible 78 point loss.

    On a dark day, Fred Vandelay aka Art Vandelay_ not only beat his opponent (the highly rated /multiple all-SFA winning CakeEater) but kicked 3.1 from limited supply. Opportunistic frenemy in crime Matera92 managed 2.3 from FP, also from limited supply. Chipmunk (90 DT, 23 disposals, 11 marks) was our most influential player, finding space through the centre square after first use from multiple-Mateflon winner Cap (75 DT, 13 hitouts, 1 goal) . Shadow Man (72 DT, 6 tackles) relished his time in the engine room and combined well with Wingman RonnieRaven (81 DT, 20 disposals, 5 marks). RookiePick did very well off HBF (beating his opponent and collecting 62 DT) and was the standout amongst a defence under siege on a day when our opponents had all the answers to our trusty Platypus Formation. Tellingly, HBF counterpart and skipper tony wisely decided to take his private jet home to escape the scrutiny from the Sweet Media as the rest of us did some soul searching on the bus, determined to put this game behind us as quickly as possible.

    The main positive is that there is plenty of upside /sources of improvement for our S36 GF rematch against the Gumbies this week. Miraculously, we also remain in the 8 despite the 2nd worst % in the league and the only way from here is up as we #beartodream.
     
    • Electronic_Renaissance 100 Game Milestone
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    Electronic_Renaissance, I’ve hit a creative wall. After writing so many of these milestone posts, I needed a little help. So, I turned to ChatGPT for a little inspiration.

    First up on the AI’s list of brilliant ideas was to write you a song, seeing as your username shares a name with a song. I thought, ‘Sure, why not?’ But as it turns out, my musical talents are... well, nonexistent. So, I asked the AI to do the heavy lifting. And what did it produce? A melody that sounded less like a celebration and more like a ritual to summon a demon. But hey, here’s the AI’s attempt:

    https://suno.com/song/104b4168-413c-4bcd-9527-ac0691098db6
    With the song flopping harder than my attempts to use chopsticks, I moved on to the next suggestion: writing a poem. I’m no poet, but I figured, why not give it a shot? Sadly, AI let me down again, delivering something that would make a Hallmark card writer weep with embarrassment. Still, here’s what it spat out:

    When the pizza’s on the plate, you’re the first to take a bite,
    But not with hands, no, you do it just right.
    With fork in one hand and knife in the other,
    You eat like royalty, unlike any other.

    The team’s on the field, ready for a fight,
    But you're in the locker room, cutting each slice just right.
    “Pass the pepperoni,” you call with flair,
    As your teammates look on, wondering if you’ll share.

    When it’s time to play, you bring your A-game,
    But everyone knows, it’s the pizza you’ll tame.
    With a twirl of your fork and a slice in your sight,
    You prove once again, you’ve got the dining right.

    So here’s to you, with your culinary grace,
    In the middle of a match, or a pizza race.
    A hundred games, and still in the fight,
    But not with hands, no, you do it just right.

    After two failed attempts and what felt like an eternity of lost time, I decided to give it one last try. The AI suggested making a graphic, and I thought, ‘Surely, this can’t go wrong.’ If the Old Boys can whip up AI generated graphics, then so can I, right? Wrong. Very wrong. The result? Let’s just say it was Picasso level abstract, but not in a good way. Behold:

    ai 100 games.png

    So, here we are, ER. I’ve got nothing to show for all this effort except a series of catastrophes. But despite the AI's epic failures, there’s one thing I can do without its help, express how much we all appreciate you. Everyone at the Bears loves you and your refined cutlery expertise. In fact, just for you tonight, I’ll be eating my pizza with a knife and fork.

    By the way, I think I’m getting better at setting the table. What do you reckon?

    100 Games.png
     
    • Kane249 350th Game Milestone
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    On May 1, 2014, a young and ambitious Kane249 made his first post in the Sweet FA, boldly declaring his intention to join the returning expansion team, the Las Vegas Bears. He wasn’t just here to make up the numbers, Kane was here to build a legacy. In his very first post, he made it clear:

    kane249 said:
    Pants made me an offer too good to refuse, so count me in.
    Click to expand...

    In his second post, he didn’t hesitate to share exactly why he was choosing the Bears:

    kane249 said:
    In this fall...this is very tough...in this fall I'm going to take my talents to Nevada and join the Las Vegas Bears. I feel like it's going to give me the best opportunity to win and to win for multiple years, and not only just to win in the regular season or just to win five games in a row or three games in a row, I want to be able to win championships. And I feel like I can compete down there
    Click to expand...

    Fast forward 21 seasons and 10 years later, and Kane249 is about to run out for his 350th game, yes, 350! That’s 350 times Kane has pulled on the Bears jumper, 350 times he’s led by example, and 350 times he’s given everything for the club. Over those years, Kane has set an incredible list of Bears records: most games played, most finals played, most consecutive games played, most marks in a game, and probably plenty more that only the most dedicated stat nerds could uncover.

    But these aren’t just numbers, each record is a testament to Kane’s loyalty, endurance, and unwavering commitment to the Bears. He’s not just a club stalwart; he’s the only player in Bears history to win a Best and Fairest award in a premiership season, a season where he didn’t just contribute, he was instrumental. Kane kicked the second-last goal of the grand final and set up the match-winner, cementing his place in Bears folklore.

    Kane has always been a one-club player, and his impact on the Bears both on and off the field is immeasurable. I even tried to dig up his first ever match thread post, only to discover that it was a YouTube video that’s now lost to the digital abyss. What wisdom or hilarity that video contained, we’ll never know, but what we do know is that Kane has given us 350 games of unforgettable moments, dedication, and leadership.

    Kane249 is more than just a player, he’s a pillar of the Las Vegas Bears, a legend in the Sweet FA, and a gem we’re incredibly fortunate to have. Congratulations on reaching this monumental milestone, Kane. Here’s to many more games in the Bears colors!

    ----

    Kane has had some very memorable posts over the years so lets take a look at a few.

    kane249 said:
    Wait i'm playing on a guy named Janus? No fair as I keep giggling when they call his name
    Click to expand...


    The Bears were in last place at the time with zero wins from their first 6 games of the season
    kane249 said:
    Fiiiiiine, how about this

    We are yet to lose to a team below us on the ladder :cool:

    Let us know what it's like when we get over the line against your mob on Sunday
    Click to expand...
    This quote inspired the team to Victory, it was the Bears first win for the season and the Bears first win since returning back to the league.


    Other memorable quotes from throughout the years
    Stop delisting yourselves, you will go blind.
    Click to expand...

    No I make it a point not to hit on women with better facial hair than me.
    Click to expand...

    Breaking Hearts and Breaking Hips, once you go grey, there is no other way :p
    Click to expand...

    So apart from the blindfold, a standard night out with you Matera?
    Click to expand...

    On the release of Cocaine Bear at the Movies, Kane dished up the goss on his Bash Brother Matera
    kane249 said:
    That was the @Matera92 biopic, except they didn't have the budget for the real amount of cocaine use he went through
    Click to expand...

    kane.png
     
    • Round 5 Review
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    After last week’s 13 goal drubbing at the hands of the Royals, the Bears were determined to put on a show for the home fans in Las Vegas. With two milestones to celebrate, @kane249’s 350th game and Electronic_Renaissance's 100th game, the team was keen to deliver a performance worthy of the occasion.

    The 1st quarter began with a bang, as Matera92 wasted no time, slotting a goal in the opening minute. The Gumbies quickly replied with two of their own, but Matera, clearly in the mood to impress his Bash Brother Kane, fired back with two more goals to snatch the lead back for the Bears by a solitary point. Now, Matera, if you're still reading, you might want to close your eyes because, from this point on, your performance was more Wally Matera than Peter Matera. Meanwhile, Art Vandelay_, sensing that you’d clocked off for the day and were already eyeing up the post game snacks, decided it was time to grab the spotlight. He swooped in like a seagull at a hot chip stand, bagging a goal to put the Bears ahead by 7 points. But just as we were ready to breathe, the Gumbies sneaked in a goal on the siren, cutting our quarter time lead to a mere point.

    The 2nd quarter started promisingly with JoseMourinho kicking the opening goal. Midway through the term, Kane, who had been shifted into the ruck, charged forward to celebrate his 350th game in style with a goal of his own. Chipmunk, perhaps inspired by Kane’s example, then added another to give the Bears their biggest lead of the match. Unfortunately, our accuracy in front of goal took a bit of a holiday, four straight behinds allowed the Gumbies to close the gap, and by half time, we were clinging to a slender 2 point lead.

    The 3rd quarter was where things got nervy. The Gumbies dominated possession but their accuracy went completely awry, managing 2.7 for the quarter. For our part, Art Vandelay, who had been pretty quiet up until now, picked the perfect moment to step up, kicking two crucial goals to keep us in the game. Just before the three quarter time siren, MWPP added a timely major, putting the Bears back in front by 2 points heading into the final term.

    Then came the 4th quarter, an absolute rollercoaster and a feast for goal hungry fans. It rained goals, 14 straight in a shootout to end all shootouts. The Gumbies managed to hit the front twice, but each time, Art Vandelay responded to put us back in the lead. After his last go ahead goal, the Bears decided enough was enough. MKMatty, CountryLad, and RonnieRaven kicked a trio of quick goals to stretch the lead to 20 points, our biggest margin of the game. The Gumbies nabbed the final goal, but it wasn’t enough to stop us from claiming a 14 point victory.

    So, we’re now sitting at 3 wins and 2 losses for the season, still holding onto the league's second worst percentage thanks to our earlier thrashings. We’re perched in 6th position on the ladder, and next up is the undefeated Demons. Time to see if we can hand them their first taste of defeat.

    Stats wise, Chipmunk led the way with 33 disposals and a goal, while Shadow Man was right behind with 32 disposals, 6 tackles, and 5 free kicks for. Fat Tony got rolling with 27 touches and 8 marks. kane249 celebrated his 350th game with 25 disposals, 11 hitouts, and a goal. SSSSSS chipped in with 23 touches, and Cap gathered 22 disposals. MKMatty rounded out the disposals tally with 21.

    In front of goal, Art Vandelay_ was the star, kicking 6 majors, including 5 crucial goals in the 2nd half when it mattered most. Matera92 kicked the opening 3 goals for the Bears before deciding it was time for an early nap. JoseMourinho and MWPP slotted 2 each, while Chipmunk, CountryLad, kane249, MKMatty, and RonnieRaven all chipped in with singles.

    Rd 5 Stats.png

    Congratulations to kane249 & Electronic_Renaissance on your respective milestones.

    ER & Kane Chair Off.png
    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
    • Round 6 Review
    • 6.png

    matera ski lift.gif
    For people who can't be bothered reading the full review, this sums up Matera's and the Bears week in Mount Buller
    ​

    Round 6: Bears vs. Demons - A Frosty Lesson at the Snow Dome​

    The Las Vegas Bears marched into the icy stronghold of the undefeated Demons at the Snow Dome, looking to end their hot streak. Unfortunately, from the moment we rushed the first behind to the Demons just two minutes in, it was clear that luck wasn't on our side. In fact, it seemed like our best work for the day was helping the Demons boost their score!

    First Quarter: The Cold, Hard Truth​

    MWPP managed to get us on the board early with a goal, and for a brief moment, it looked like we might match the Demons stride for stride. But then, like an avalanche gathering momentum, the opposition began to overwhelm us. Despite a late goal from Millky95 to keep us in touch, the Demons led by 17 points at quarter time, and the Bears were already feeling the chill.

    Second Quarter: A Glimmer of Hope​

    The second term saw Art Vandelay_ and Shadow Man bring some much needed spark to our forward line, trimming the margin back to 13 points at one stage. However, the Demons had other plans. A few more goals ensured the momentum stayed firmly in their favour. By the main break, we were down by 14, and their undefeated streak looked like it was only gaining more steam.

    Third Quarter: Sliding Downhill​

    As the snow piled up outside, so did the Demons’ score. The third quarter felt like an uphill battle in a snowstorm. Each time we tried to claw our way back, they responded with crushing blows. Art Vandelay_ and MKMatty's efforts barely kept us from freezing over. The gap stretched to 43 points by the final break. It was clear we needed more than a pep talk, maybe a snowplow to dig us out of trouble. Does anyone have the number for Mr Plow?

    Final Quarter: Blizzard Warning​

    The final quarter saw us fighting valiantly against the blizzard. Art Vandelay_ kept trying to warm us up with his accuracy, and Senor M chipped in as well, but every time we dared to hope, the Demons iced it with another goal. They just kept pushing, and despite some late goals from Cap and Art Vandelay_, they still won comfortably by 52 points. If not for our accuracy, the score line would have looked a lot worse for us.

    Final Thoughts:​

    The Bears came to the Snow Dome with every intention of taking the fight to the undefeated Demons, but after rushing that first behind, it felt like we never got another proper look-in. They were ruthless and clinical, and we learned just how unforgiving it can be to play catch up in the snow. We leave Mount Buller licking our wounds, knowing we'll need to bring more fire and focus in the rounds to come.

    Still, it wasn’t all doom and gloom, Art Vandelay_ showed his knack for finding the goals, and there's always the next game to turn things around. After all, no storm lasts forever.

    Looking Ahead:​

    With the bye coming up in Round 7, we’ll have a week to regroup and refocus. Currently sitting 7th on the ladder with the second worst percentage in the competition, there’s plenty of work to do. But this Bears team is nothing if not resilient. Bring on Round 8!

    Las Vegas Bears Player Stats Review - Round 6​

    The Bears might not have come out victorious against the Demons at the Snow Dome, but there were several noteworthy individual performances. Here’s a breakdown of how the team fared:

    Standout Performers​

    • Chipmunk was a shining light for the Bears, collecting 12 kicks, 14 marks, and 18 handballs. His 112 Dream Team points led the team, showcasing his relentless work rate and versatility across the ground. Despite not hitting the scoreboard, his efforts in intercepting and distributing the ball were crucial.
    • Cap continued to prove why he's one of the Bears' most reliable players. He racked up 11 hit-outs, 14 kicks, and 7 handballs while laying 4 tackles and contributing a goal and 2 behinds. His 90 DT points reflected his all-around impact in the game.
    • Shadow Man also stood out with a solid performance, amassing 11 kicks and 10 handballs. He was a presence around the ground and contributed defensively with 4 tackles. With 72 DT points and a goal to his name, he showed why he’s a valuable asset to the Bears’ midfield.

    Key Contributors​

    • Art Vandelay had a strong presence up forward with 4 goals and a behind, which was instrumental in keeping the Bears in the game. Although his disposals were low (5 kicks, 0 handballs), his goal accuracy ensured that the Bears had a target up front.
    • kane249 provided consistent ball use with 14 kicks and 12 handballs. His 79 DT points were reflective of his solid performance, although he couldn’t find the goals himself.
    • Millky95 demonstrated his defensive pressure by laying 6 tackles and contributing a goal. His 72 DT points were a testament to his ability to make an impact on both ends of the ground.
    • SSSSSS had a balanced game with 12 kicks, 9 marks, and 6 handballs, racking up 76 DT points. His clean hands and marking ability were evident as he helped the team transition from defense to attack.

    Role Players​

    • JoshWoodenSpoon, while not having a standout game, contributed with 5 kicks, 6 marks, and 9 handballs. His presence was felt in the contests and in linking up play.
    • Test Tickle and tony also put in commendable efforts. Tony’s 10 kicks, 5 marks, and 8 handballs added valuable support in the defensive battles, while Test Tickle’s 8 kicks and 7 handballs showed his commitment to the contest.
    • Senor M managed to slot a goal despite limited possessions (4 kicks, 3 marks), highlighting his efficiency up forward.

    Areas to Improve​

    • Players like I Dont Care, Matera92, and JoseMourinho struggled to make an impact on the day, with Matera92 particularly having a tough time, resulting in -3 DT points. These players will be looking to bounce back and have a greater influence in the upcoming matches.
    • Electronic_Renaissance and RonnieRaven had quieter games compared to their usual standards, both contributing minimally to the scoreboard and in general play.

    Conclusion​

    Despite the loss, there were several strong performances that the Bears can build on. Players like Chipmunk, Cap, and Art Vandelay_ showed that the team has the talent to challenge the best. With a focus on improving their consistency and getting more out of their role players, the Bears can look to bounce back strongly in the upcoming rounds.

    This review was written, funded, and edited by Art Vandelay_. Because if there's one thing he enjoys more than scoring goals, it's reminding everyone he did and Matera92 didn't.

    Rd 6 Stats.png

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
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    • Season Stats After Round 7
    • Stats.png ​

    Qooty Stats Rd 6.png

    After 6 games, every player who has taken the field has registered at least one kick, but it seems Art Vandelay isn’t a fan of handballing, he's yet to give one off. MWPP isn't much different, with only a single handball to her name this season. Millky’s love affair with the umpires continues as he leads the team in Frees For, with Shadow Man and Cap also getting favorable treatment. On the other hand, Frees Against is more evenly distributed, though Chipmunk, Joshwoodenspoon, and Ronnie have found themselves on the wrong side of the whistle the most. We've had 19 different goalkickers, with only RookiePick, Electronic Renaissance, and Tony yet to hit the scoreboard. Even Tommycash, with just one kick for the season, managed to slot a goal with that single effort. Three players, Art, Matera, and MWPP have hit double figures for goals, with MWPP also leading the way in behinds. In terms of disposals, four players have topped the 100 mark: Chipmunk, Cap, Shadow Man, and SSSSSS. Cap has also become the first player to crack 500 Dream Team points this season, with Chipmunk hot on his heels.


    s38rd7.png

    After 7 Rounds we currently sit in 7th position with the worst percentage in the league due to all of our losses being thrashings and our wins being small ones. Our 3 losses have been by a combined 190 points and in our 3 wins we have scraped through by just 23 points across the three wins. This week, we face off against the 11th placed Hawks.


    Posting Stats.png

    Posting Stats
    It's been fantastic to see our team showing up each week and having a blast together. We're averaging just over 18 people posting regularly, and that’s what makes us such a strong and lively group. It’s not about who’s posting the most, it’s about all of us being here, joining in the fun, and keeping the team spirit alive.

    Whether you're posting a little or a lot, every contribution adds to the vibe and energy of our team. So, let’s keep showing up, keep the banter flowing, and enjoy this ride together.

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
    • MWPP 250 Milestone Game
    • header.png

    Reaching 250 games is no small feat, but for MWPP, it's just another chapter in her remarkable career. From her very first game, she's been a force on the field and a pillar of support off it. Her influence on the game, and even more so on her teammates, has made her an unforgettable part of the Bears and the wider Sweet FA.

    MWPP’s career began back in Season 23 with the Gold City Royals, where she first showed flashes of brilliance. When she joined the Bears in Season 27, her impact was immediate, cementing her place as a core part of our team and stepped up as captain when the team needed her most. Though she took a brief detour with the Phoenix/Hawks in Season 34, MWPP returned to her true home the very next season and the Bears couldn’t be more grateful for her return.

    MWPP isn’t just known for her skills but for the heart she brings to the Bears. She’s always checking up on her teammates, ensuring that everyone is supported both on and off the field. Her sense of camaraderie and leadership has left a lasting impact, fostering a positive and inclusive atmosphere for all. Whether it’s lending a hand or a listening ear, MWPP exemplifies what it means to be a great teammate.

    But it’s not all about hard work with MWPP. She has her playful side too, particularly when @Jezmiester40’s curry puffs come into play. They’ve become her secret to success, fueling her with the energy she needs to kick crucial goals. And after she sends the ball through the middle, her favourite way to celebrate is to have a dance with Dingster.

    MWPP’s performances on the field speak for themselves. From her 36 disposal game to her stunning 6 goal haul against the Gumbies, she has proven time and again that she’s among the league’s elite. Her defensive tenacity, highlighted by 11 tackles in a single game, shows just how much she’s willing to put on the line for the team.

    Her journey is decorated with accolades, and for good reason:

    2x Bears Best and Fairest Winner
    3x Captain's Award Winner
    2x Best Club Player Award Winner
    1x Best Defender Award Winner
    1x Best Forward Award Winner
    3x All-SFA Selections
    Season 31 SpudQoach Award
    State of Origin Series XIX boncer34 Medallist

    This 250 game milestone isn’t just about the stats or accolades, it’s about the heart and spirit MWPP brings to every single game. She has shaped the Bears’ culture, fostering unity, strength, and a touch of fun that defines who we are today. From game winning plays to her contagious celebrations, MWPP is truly a cornerstone of this team.

    Here’s to MWPP, a magical presence on the field and an even more remarkable person off it. Congratulations on reaching 250 games, and here’s to many more to come. We’re proud to have you with us, weaving your magic every step of the way!

    MWPP 250.png

    mwpp stats.png
    ​
    I met MWPP on the death metal board of BigFooty. Wearing her trademark Death Eater outfit, the first thing she said to me was ‘I wouldn’t be caught dead in an Eagles guernsey doing brunch and then karaoke in the evening’.
    One thing she has shown, however, is her love for the Bears. In her 250th game now, her passion is unrivalled and she’ll never be a beta 😊. A true friend, congrats on this milestone and here’s to many more successes.
    - Chipmunk

    Em-Dub
    You are one in a million.
    Thanks for making me feel so welcome as a newbie in SFA and W.W.
    Your enthusiasm and encouragement make this weird little place very special for me.
    Love Horsie. Xx
    - myblueroan

    Many people won't know that before she joined the world of SFA, MWPP had an interesting past as a Curse-Breaker with Gringott's Wizarding Bank, finding objects and breaking their curses with charms of her own. She also moonlighted as an Auror, helping rid the world of evil, before she finally settled in her role at St Mungo's, saving the lives of Muggles, Squibs, Witches and Wizards alike. One day however, she came across a blank piece of parchment in the crook of a tree. Some words came to her, and she whispered, I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Suddenly, a map appeared on the parchment. It lead her all the way to Sweet, and there she found the SFA. The rest, they say, is history. Congratulations on 250 games my dear friend, and hopefully there'll be 250 more before you ever say Mischief Managed.
    - por_please_ya

    No surprises MWPP has hit 250 games, I knew from the moment she jumped in the hot tub with myself PorPleaseYa and VainGlorious that you had what it took to be a professional qooty player.
    Congrats MWPP on a great game milestone.
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    - Tigerturbulance

    "I don't normally comment on milestones that end in a 50 however there are some times I am happy to make an exception. Congratulations on your milestone week MWPP. One of the kindest and hardest workers we have in the Sweet FA, you're a genuine veteran now"
    - The Filth Wizard

    MWPP is my partner in crime. Whether it be winning Sweet Has Talent comps, co-owning several businesses, holding multiple wrestling titles or bailing Matera92 out in the wee hours of the morning, we do it in style. Grats on 250 and great work re-writing Art Vandelay_ into the part of Dobby in the complete Harry Potter series.
    - Dingster
     
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    • Round 8 Review
    • 8.png

    The Bears took on the Hawks at the stadium in the sky, with Test Tickle (200) and MWPP (250) celebrating their milestone games. Both were looking to make it a day to remember, but the wind had other ideas, heavily influencing the game from the start.

    In the first quarter, the Bears took full advantage of having the wind at their backs. Chipmunk slotted an early goal, followed by Art Vandelay, RonnieRaven, JoshWoodenSpoon, and Test Tickle, who all added to the scoreboard. A special mention to Matera92, who kicked a goal with his first possession in eight quarters. By quarter time, the Bears were up by 28 points, looking like they had control of the game.

    The second quarter saw the Bears kicking into the wind, and things went a bit quiet. Despite our best efforts, we struggled to produce chances, while the Hawks used the breeze to chip away at our lead. By the end of the half, they’d turned things around to take a 7 point lead into half time, leaving us with work to do.

    In the third, with the wind at our backs again, we mounted a strong push. JoseMourinho, MWPP, and Millky95 found the goals, and Art Vandelay added another for good measure. The Hawks kept themselves in the contest with a few goals of their own, but the Bears ended the quarter with a 15 point lead and some hope heading into the final term.

    The fourth quarter was a slog. Kicking into the wind again, we struggled to break through the Hawks' defense. They managed to build a 16 point lead by the time the game entered its final stages. With just 9 seconds left on the clock, Art Vandelay finally kicked our first goal into the breeze, but it was too little, too late, as we fell short by 8 points.

    Final Score:
    Las Vegas Bears 13.10 (88)
    East Side Hawks 14.12 (96)

    • Chipmunk was highly productive, gathering 12 kicks, 11 marks, and 14 handballs. His 101 Dream Team points reflect his significant influence around the ground, providing both defensive and offensive support.
    • MWPP, in her milestone game, delivered a strong forward performance with 3 goals from just 3 kicks, making her an efficient target up front. Her ability to make an impact with limited possessions was crucial.
    • Art Vandelay had a busy day up forward, finishing with 7 kicks, 4 behinds, and 3 goals. He worked hard to get on the scoreboard but struggled with accuracy at times, though his persistence paid off late.
    • Ronnieraven was one of the Bears' most consistent contributors, collecting 15 kicks, 5 marks, and 8 handballs while also kicking a goal. His work rate was a standout across the wings and through the midfield.
    • Test Tickle, celebrating his milestone match, made a solid contribution with 7 kicks, 7 handballs, 4 tackles, and a goal. His physical presence around the contest was noticeable.
    • Cap led the ruck division with 13 hitouts, 10 kicks, and 8 handballs. He also applied defensive pressure with 4 tackles, offering versatility both in stoppages and around the ground.
    • Rookiepick was another important midfield contributor, collecting 11 kicks, 7 marks, and 5 handballs, while SSSSSS chipped in with 10 kicks, 8 marks, and 8 handballs and his 2nd tackle for the season. Both players were valuable in transitioning the ball and providing marking options.
    • JoseMourinho and JoshWoodenSpoon each kicked a goal, with Jose gathering 7 kicks and 4 marks. JoshWoodenSpoon added 6 kicks, 4 marks, and 3 handballs, playing an important role forward of centre, after being swung forward early in the game.
    • In defense, Electronic_Renaissance and Shadow Man contributed solidly, helping out in key moments to stifle the opposition's attack. Millky95 stood out with his 8 kicks, 8 handballs, and a goal, not to mention his 4 tackles. He also seemed to have the umpires on his side, receiving 7 free kicks, which had some wondering if he’d bribed them with free Vegas buffet vouchers.

    Rd 8 Stats.png

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
    • Round 9 Review
    • 9.png

    In our highly anticipated clash with our city rivals, the Rats, we came into the game looking to assert ourselves early. However, the opening quarter didn’t exactly go to plan. It took just over three minutes for the Rats to register a rushed behind, quickly followed by a goal. Before we knew it, we found ourselves 20 points down. We managed to hit back with a goal from MWPP, showing the fight that we’d need all game. Matera92 got one for us late in the quarter, cutting the margin to 15 points, but we trailed by 14 at the first break.

    The second term saw the Rats extend their lead with two quick goals, and it wasn’t long before they piled on three more, kicking 5 goals to 1 for the quarter. MKMatty's goal gave us some hope as we tried to chip away, but another major from the Rats late in the quarter had us facing a 40 point deficit at halftime.

    The third quarter saw the Rats kick the first goal of the half, stretching the margin out to 46 points. MWPP was the first to hit the scoreboard for the Bears, followed by goals from Cap and Shadow Man, closing the gap to just 27 points. Our intensity lifted as we peppered the goals, but we could only kick 5 behinds in a row, with Art Vandelay contributing 3 of them before he finally broke through late in the quarter, cutting the lead to 16 points and keeping us within striking distance heading into the final term.

    The Rats drew first blood in the fourth, but MKMatty responded for us with a much needed goal. Senor M followed up with two of his own, dragging the margin down to just nine points. We could feel the momentum, but the Rats kicked one more to stretch the gap. Despite several chances in the final moments, we could only manage behinds, leaving us 12 points short at the final siren.

    Despite a valiant effort, in the second half, the Bears now sit 12th on the ladder, with the lowest percentage in the league. We’re one win from the bottom, but still just two points and a chunk of percentage away from the top 8.

    In muddy conditions that made clean ball handling a challenge, some of the Bears still managed to rack up impressive stats. Senor M lead the way, racking up 8 kicks, 5 marks, 11 handballs, and 2 goals for an impressive 82 Dream Team points. MKMatty wasn’t far behind, contributing 6 kicks, 4 marks, 5 handballs, and 2 goals of his own, tallying 70 DT points. Matera92 was another key contributor with 6 kicks, 6 handballs, and 5 tackles, while RonnieRaven was solid on the wing, gathering 8 kicks and 7 handballs. Tandy supplied the donuts this week, never coming off the bench.

    When it came to goals, Senor M, MWPP and MKMatty all found the big sticks twice, while Cap, Shadow Man, Matera92, and Art Vandelay each added singles. Though Art did manage to sneak one goal through, his radar seemed off, as he sprayed 5 behinds.

    Rd 9 Stats.png
    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     

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    Rd 10 Review
    • 10.png

    You might have noticed this weeks review is running a little late this week. It's tough to find motivation when we keep losing, and it’s even harder to come up with a good idea to make these reviews entertaining. I actually had a brilliant idea for a match review this time, but I decided to save it for when we actually win a game. So you can expect to see that sometime in Season 45.

    For Round 10, we made the trek to Coney Island to face the Warriors. It was a special occasion for Art Vandelay_, who was celebrating his 300th game. Given our track record in milestone games, I’d basically accepted defeat before the first siren even sounded.

    But, credit where it’s due, Art started his big day on the right foot, slotting a goal in the opening minute and then backing it up with another later in the quarter. Both sides were getting plenty of shots on goal, 9 each, but while we were busy racking up 4.5, the Warriors showed a bit more accuracy, finishing the quarter with 5.4.

    The shootout continued into the second quarter. The Warriors kicked the first three goals, and I thought to myself, "Ah yes, here’s the milestone curse kicking in.” But then, out of nowhere, we actually mounted a comeback. Goals from Cap, MWPP, and Tandy brought the margin back under a kick. The two teams traded the next six goals like it was a tennis match, and the Warriors took a slim lead into half time.

    The third quarter started promisingly. Art banged through another to put us in front for the first time in the match and then Cap added another for good measure. But just as we started to think we might be onto something, the Warriors responded by slamming through six straight goals. Our defense was sinking faster than the Titanic, leaving us scrambling for a lifeboat. Test Tickle found a lifeboat and floated down from the backline to sneak in a goal late in the quarter, pulling the margin back to 23 points heading into the final term.

    SSSSSS got us off to a good start in the last quarter with an early goal, but the Warriors hit back almost immediately. The young gun wasn’t done, though, slotting another one to give us some hope, and when Tandy popped one through, the margin was down to just 9 points. The sim gave us a glimmer of hope, only to stomp on it mercilessly as the Warriors kicked the last four goals to run out 32 point winners.

    And so, we sit in 12th spot on the ladder, still with the worst percentage in the comp. This week, we head off to play the Furies, who are sitting pretty in 2nd. What could possibly go wrong?

    A few players can hold their heads high. Cap had 12 hitouts, 12 possessions, and kicked 4 goals. Chipmunk had 21 touches of the nut. MKMatty racked up 22 possessions and added a goal. On the wings, Ronnie “King of the Wing” Raven collected 25 touches and 7 marks, while SSSSSS had a career best game with 27 touches, 3 goals, and his first 100 DT points game.

    Other goalkickers were Art, who celebrated his 300th with 3 goals, Tandy with 2, and singles from Matera and Test Tickle.

    Rd 10 Stats.png

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
    • Rd 11 Review
    • IMG_4613.png

    BEARS BASH THE FURIES IN A BOILOVER

    Desperate to snap a 4 game losing streak with qareers on the line, the Bears headed to the hippodrome to face off against the highly rated Furies. Tigerturbulance 's entrances ensured that both teams were ready to Rumble from the start. To their credit, tony and the selection panel did not hesitate to make mass changes. Tommycash made a comeback as Tandy returned to his pet engine room spot . The dream team of Matera92 and Art Vandelay_ at CHF and FF were also reunited.

    On a Cloudy day, JoseMourinho and Art Vandelay_ wasted no time in getting us in the board with 2 behinds in 2 minutes before yours truly slotted our first major at the 3 minute mark. Two goals to Millky95 at the 5 and 7 minute marks before a major to MKMatty stretched our lead to almost 5 goals. The Furies appeared to spring into action when they kicked their first at the 12 minute mark but we kicked 4 of the next 5 goals in the quarter thanks to JoseMourinho , MKMatty , Millky95 (again) and Tommycash to take a surprising 42 point lead at the first change.

    The Furies copped a spray from their qoach at quarter time so came out firing but luckily for us, their early quarter momentum translated to 4 straight behinds in 3 minutes. Returning veteran Tommycash goaled at the 5 minute mark before Millky95 (yet again) , talented rookie SSSSSS and JoseMourinho all added majors of their own to take our lead beyond 50 points. The Furies kicked the next two and appeared to steal the momentum back soon after but we kicked the final 4 goals of the quarter thanks to Art Vandelay_ , Tommycash and yours truly (twice!) to take a stunning 68 point lead at half time.

    With the game albeit iced at half time we would have been forgiven for taking our feet off the pedal in favour of putting some of our stars on ice. To our credit, we fought back after the furies' first 3 goals of the term with a goal against the run of play to Tommycash in the middle of the term. Another late goal to Tommycash before a thriller to MKMatty left us with a handy 63 point lead at the final change.

    The final quarter followed a similar script to the third but this time it was SSSSSS who broke the run of 3 straight Furies goals with a major at the 5 minute mark. Not long after , Matera92 , Tommycash and Chipmunk kicked the next 3 majors to put the game beyond doubt. Yours truly kicked the final goal of the game with just seconds to go to give us a game-high (and easily season-high) winning margin of 75 points.

    This performance had the hallmarks of a champion team full of a team of champions , to the point where questions were asked . For whatever reason, we were dominant all over the park for the first time this season. Big Man Cap (22 hitouts, 27 disposals, 5 tackles, 117 DT) dominated as engine room partner in crime Millky95 (118 DT, 4 goals, 24 disposals, 8 tackles) displayed such a clinical performance that what he did to his opponent was bearly legal. SSSSSS (99 DT, 2 goals, 26 disposals, 6 marks) and RonnieRaven (89 DT, 21 disposals, 4 tackles) played with composure beyond their qooty years. Chipmunk (92 DT , 28 disposals, 6 marks) also dominated. Surprisingly Art Vandelay_ (18 DT, 1 goal) had a day to forget despite the silver service but yours truly kicked 4 goals and could've easily kicked 4 more in an opponent-massacring performance. MKMatty (3 goals, 78 DT) was also dominant up-forward. Tommycash (6 goals, 67 DT) was outstanding and exposed his opponent's frailties.

    This was a special win for our long-suffering fans. We can still mathematically make the 8 so there’s plenty to play for this weekend. Bring on the Roys!

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    • Rd 12 Review
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    13. BEARS HOLD NERVE AGAINST THE ROYS IN WET-WEATHER THRILLER

    The Bears were on a high thanks to the weekend boilover win and subsequent afterparty - we all know that what happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas. As we sobered up on Monday evening and prepared for our road trip to Brunswick Junction Oval to take on the similarly-positioned Roys in a do or die clash, philreich 's overview ensured that our leadup was relaxing and full of dad jokes. The Las Vegas faithful travelled with us on the team bus and cheered us on in training before joining Test Tickle , Chipmunk and others at the notorious local pubs.

    On a rainy day, it was the Roys who drew first blood but Matera92 produced the quick response at the 5 minute mark. We didn't adjust to the worsening conditions and could not score again for the rest of the term. Thankfully, we remained within reach thanks to the Roys' inaccuracy with a 15 point margin at the first change.

    After a spray from the qoaches at quarter time, we responded with 6 straight scoring shots in the first 10 minutes. This included a team rushed behind in the first second and a goal to Millky95 in the first minute. We should've been ahead by more, such was our domination, but a few people including SSSSSS, Shadow Man (twice in a row) and Chipmunk clearly left their glasses at home as we missed even the simplest of goals over that patch . A goal to MKMatty at the 8 minute mark gave us the lead before Matera92 majored (again) to take us 8 points up. When the rain reached torrential levels, we again struggled to adjust, conceding 3 goals in a row in the second quarter to leave us trailing by 10 points at the main change.

    We had to respond in the third term and to our credit, usual suspects MKMatty and Millky95 did just that with a goal apiece within the first 2 minutes. Art Vandelay_ kicked a special goal at the 8 minute mark before two straight but very different looking goals by yours truly took us to a game-high 15 point lead. The local crowd got behind their team and prompted a late 2 goal surge by the Rays, resulting in a narrow 4 point lead to the Bears at three quarter time.

    The final quarter began as an arm wrestle with goals to the classy Millky95 (yet again) and Cap the only scores to either team in the first half. This gave us a seemingly comfortable 16 point lead. Unfortunately either the usual complacency or fitness issues set in soon after after as we allowed the Roys to kick 3 goals in 3 minutes and conceded the lead at the 16 minute mark. The writing looked to be on the wall but to our credit, we responded. The following 6 minutes were similar to the beginning of this term - an arm wrestle with neither team able to score. In individual moments of brilliance, Tandy and Chipmunk were our heroes at the 22 and 23 minute marks to give us the lead and a tiny buffer after time-on. A late Roys goal with just 33 seconds to go brought the margin back to 4 points. The crowd were on the edges of their seats, but we held on thanks to our trusty platypus formation to seal a crucial 4 point win. Never in doubt!

    Millky95 (99 DT, 3 goals, 22 disposals, 6 tackles) was the best on ground and was well supported by midfield partners in crime SSSSSS (79 DT, 22 disposals, 5 marks), Chipmunk (77 DT, 23 disposals, 7 marks, 1 goal) and Tandy (82 DT, 1 goal). RookiePick (70 DT, 8 marks, 18 disposals) had his opponent's measure throughout. Matera92 (56 DT, 2 goals) stood up as frenemy Art Vandelay_ (9 DT, 1 goal from 1 kick) had a day to forget. MKMatty (15 DT, 2 goals) made the most of limited opportunities, and I Dont Care massacred his opponent after starting from the bench.

    It may not have been another thrashing like last week, but crucially we strung together consecutive wins to keep our finals chances mathematically alive whilst providing a glimmer of hope to our long-suffering fans. The best teams win even when not everything goes their way, and we certainly showed resilience. At the same time, there is certainly plenty of upside ahead of our clash with the Royals this week.

    Rd 12 Stats.png
     
    Last edited:
    • Rd 13 Review
    • 13.png

    From the very first bounce, it was clear we were in for a tough day at the office. The Gold City Royals came out firing, dominating the early exchanges and piling on the pressure. Unfortunately for them, their accuracy was as reliable as a drunk bloke trying to hit the toilet in the dark, they had the first six scoring shots of the match but somehow managed to spray them everywhere.

    Enter Tommycash, the man with ice in his veins and a boot of pure gold. In the 18th minute, he had our first crack at goal, and unlike the Royals, he didn’t need a GPS to find the big sticks. Bang! Straight through the middle! That, my friends, is how it’s done. By the end of the quarter, the scoreboard was lopsided in terms of opportunities, the Royals had 10 scoring shots to our 2, but thanks to their woeful accuracy, they could only convert 3 of those into goals. Meanwhile, we were clinical, converting both our chances and keeping ourselves in the contest despite the lopsided play.

    The second quarter? More of the same, folks. The Royals were out there playing a game of "How Many Points Can We Kick?" (Spoiler: a lot). If their shots were a weather forecast, it would’ve been “99% chance of disappointment.” They had more scoring shots than a rowdy Vegas bar on a Friday night, but their 3.7 meant we were still in with a sniff. MWPP and kane249 managed to capitalise on the few chances we had up forward, each nailing a goal to keep the flickering flame of hope alive.

    At half time, we were down by 24 points. It could have been much worse given the Royals' dominance, but their inability to convert kept us in the hunt.

    The third quarter? Well, the plan was to make a fast start, but we did the exact opposite, the Royals finally found their inner sharp shooters and kicked the first goal of the half. Then they decided to really have a crack and stretched the lead to 41 points. It was like watching a slow motion train wreck. But just when it seemed like we were down for the count, MWPP and Art Vandelay_ stood up, dusted off the disappointment, and gave us two much needed late goals. Thanks to them, we were only mildly stressed at three-quarter time, with the margin at 29 points. Could we dare to dream?

    Down by 29 points, we knew we had to start the last quarter strong, and Art Vandelay_ delivered with the first goal of the term. We were within four goals now, and the crowd (all five of them) started believing in miracles. But that’s as close as we’d get. The Royals found their rhythm again, finally remembering that goals count for more than behinds, and surged ahead, putting the game to bed.

    Sure, MWPP and Senor M added some junk time goals to make it look a little more respectable, but let’s be honest, we were never really in with a shot. The final margin of 22 points? Could’ve been worse, could’ve been better. But with the Royals racking up 33 scoring shots to our 21, the real miracle is that we didn’t lose by 10 goals.

    So where does that leave us? Well, my dear Bear friends, it leaves us paddling furiously up shit creek without a paddle, sitting 11th on the ladder and 15% adrift of the top 8. With a bye this week, it’s about to get even harder.

    Art Vandelay_ and MWPP kicked 3 goals each, Matera92 chipped in with 2 and kane249, Millky95, Senor M and Tommycash 1 each.

    SSSSSS lead the way with 25 possessions, Senor M 22 and 9 Marks, RonnieRaven 20 and 7 Marks, Chipmunk 19 and Electronic_Renaissance 18.

    Have you ever wondered if the match review was written in the style of a musical what it would look like. Imagine no longer. Beware its terrible.

    "The Royal Fumble: A Las Vegas Bears Musical"​

    (Opening number: A dramatic overture, with lights dimmed. The stage is set with raindrops falling, and players slipping in slow motion. The Bears take their positions as a choir of backup dancers in royal outfits appear.)

    Verse 1 – "The Royals Can't Kick"    (To the tune of “I Will Survive”)

    Royals     (ensemble singing in minor key):
    "We came out strong, we had the ball,
    But every shot we took, missed, we couldn't score at all!
    Our boots were wild, our kicks went wide,
    A royal mess it was, but hey, at least we tried!"

    (Spotlight on Tommycash, who struts forward, football in hand.)

    Tommycash (solo, in triumph):
    "I saw my chance, the time had come,
    The Royals were stumbling ‘round like they’d had too much rum.
    And so I kicked, and nailed the goal,
    While they sprayed it wide, I made it whole!"

    (Chorus echoes "He made it whole!" with jazz hands.)

    Chorus (harmonizing):
    "Oh, Tommy’s got the magic touch!
    His kick was sweet, it meant so much!"

    Royals: (looking dejected)
    "We had 10 shots, and what did we get?
    Three measly goals, no goals to forget!"

    (Cue a comic dance sequence where Royals players fumble and flail around, kicking in every direction but the goals, with confetti flying as the crowd laughs.)

    Verse 2 – "A Slim Hope"(To the tune of “Don’t Stop Believin’”)

    MWPP and Kane (duet, arms raised dramatically to the sky):
    "It’s pouring down, but we’re still here,
    Though the scoreboard makes us shed a tear.
    But there’s a spark, a little flame,
    These Royals, they just can’t play the game!"

    Backup dancers, dressed in royal robes, twirl umbrellas and miss every step as MWPP and Kane belt out their goals.

    Kane:
    "I see the ball, I take my shot,
    And through the rain, I hit the sweet spot!"

    MWPP:
    "And I’ll follow through, and nail one too,
    Oh Royals, you’ve got no clue!"

    Chorus (building into crescendo):
    "Three-seven? Are you kidding me?
    This game should be done, but there’s a chance for victory!"

    Verse 3 – "The Comeback That Wasn’t"
    (To the tune of “The Final Countdown”)

    (Stage turns red, lights flash, and a massive clock appears in the background, ticking down. The Bears huddle up for one last push, while Art Vandelay takes center stage.)

    Art Vandelay (powerful solo):
    "I kicked it first, I made them squirm,
    Four goals down – do we have a turn?
    Can we rise up, can we prevail?
    Or will this end, a tragic tale?"

    (Royals ensemble begins to find their form, singing harmonies about getting their kicks back on track, as the Bears struggle.)

    *Chorus (melancholic):
    "The Royals… they’re finally awake…
    Our slim chance… about to break…"

    (The clock ticks louder. The Royals regain their composure, but MWPP and Senor M fight back, each with their own lines.)

    MWPP    :
    "I won't go quietly into the night,
    I’ll kick another, fight the fight!"

    Senor M:
    "One more for pride, we’ll go down swinging,
    Even if this match isn’t ours for winning!"

    (The Royals, now smug, high-kick their way through a triumphant dance as the Bears slump slightly, but with dignity.)

    Finale – "Up Shit Creek (Without a Paddle)"(To the tune of “My Way”)

    The stage dims as the Bears regroup, gathering on one side of the stage, gazing up at the scoreboard. The Royals lounge on the other side, sipping tea with pinkies up. A spotlight shines on the Bears' captain as he begins the final number, slowly and dramatically.)

    Bears Captain (soulful solo):
    "And now… the game is done,
    We fought the fight, but lost the fun.
    The Royals… well, they had the ball,
    But missed the goals – they missed them all."

    The Bears, heads held high, sing in unison as they march off the field, still proud.

    **Chorus (full ensemble):
    "We’re up shit creek… without a paddle,
    It’s a mess, but we’ll never rattle.
    Though we’re 11th now, it’s plain to see,
    The Bears will rise again – just wait and see!"

    The final note rings out, as confetti cannons fire in the stadium. The Bears exit in slow-motion, determined for a comeback, while the Royals awkwardly celebrate their win, spilling their tea. The curtain falls.

    Rd 13 Stats.png
    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
    • Rd 14 Review
    • 14.png

    Well, Bears fans, we’ve had close calls, tough losses, and glorious wins, but never a match like this. This week’s epic clash against The Bye was one for the ages, as we fought bravely to an exhilarating 0-0 draw. And while the scoreboard might imply nothing happened, let’s just say we found more ways to not score than anyone thought possible.

    As we gathered in the hallowed Stadium in the Sky, it seemed that every single Bear player on the list was warming up, ready to take to the field. With us not completing a team sheet this week, I am sure there is someone out there just waiting to dob us in.

    From the outset, The Bye meant business... in the form of no business at all. With an entirely invisible line up, they expertly maintained an eerie defensive pressure, or so we assumed, because every time we glanced downfield, their players were nowhere to be seen. We tried pushing forward, but with no opponents to distract us, things quickly went off script. MWPP tried a slick dummy pass, only to realise she was faking out herself, while Kane249 somehow managed to bounce the ball directly into his own face.

    Millky95 looked to settle the nerves with a shot on goal, but just as it seemed set to sail through, JoseMourinho pulled up late to the game, bus and all, and drove directly into the goal square, blocking the shot. Apparently, nobody had informed him that he didn’t need to park the Bus this week.

    After a team huddle to discuss our non existent opposition, we charged back out for the 2nd Quarter, convinced this was our quarter. The Bye’s strategy of being a complete no show was working as a psychological masterstroke, leaving our players confused and aimless. Art Vandelay finally lined up what looked to be a sure six pointer, but as his kick sailed goalward, disaster struck. Out of nowhere, a rogue seagull flew into the ball’s path, deflecting it wide of the posts, and the seagull was left sprawled on the ground, feathers everywhere. Art was last seen muttering, “This is all Matera's fault.”

    Switching up tactics for the 3rd Quarter, we decided to test our skills against the, well... the concept of nothing. We tried it all: chip kicks, banana kicks, torpedoes, even the odd backflip. But without a single opponent to dodge, our play devolved into an existential crisis. Midfielders started passing aimlessly and even stopped to wave to the crowd (who were equally puzzled as to why they’d paid for tickets). At one point, MWPP lined up for a dummy pass, only to psych herself out and fall for her own move.

    As we neared the goal, Matera took a shot, but somehow it hit our runner instead, who was on his way to fetch a couple of beers for Testy.

    Desperate to break the deadlock, we brought out the big guns in the last Quarter. Chipmunk found himself with a clear line to the goal in the final term, lining up a shot that was all set to sail through... when against all odds, the same seagull from the second quarter, dazed but determined, rose from the turf like a true Phoenix and swatted the ball away mid flight. The stunned silence was only broken by the sound of Chipmunk muttering, “That’s gotta be personal.”

    With mere seconds remaining, Joshwoodenspoon marked the ball on the Bye's goal line, saving the match winning score for the opposition. Knowing time was running out, he bravely played on, unaware of where The Bye’s players might be lurking. The Bears immediately called for the legendary platypus formation. Josh quickly passed to Tony, who, unfortunately, was too busy devouring a pizza to even notice the ball. Luckily, Testy had just finished his beer and had a free hand to tap the ball onto SSSSSS, who launched a booming kick toward Shadow Man. Shadow Man, seizing the moment, handballed to the overlapping Ronnieraven, who kicked it swiftly to Cap.

    Cap had the final shot in the dying moments and lined up to break the deadlock but just as the ball headed for the line, our runner dashed through, carrying a fresh six pack for Testy and accidentally knocked the ball back into play. The final siren sounded, leaving us at a glorious, unforgettable 0-0 draw.

    After four quarters of gritty, absolutely baffling play, we left the field exhausted, laughing, and still trying to figure out exactly how we didn’t score against an opponent who wasn’t even there.

    Moral of the Game: You can’t beat what doesn’t exist… or maybe you can, but we’ll never know.

    We are 2 points out of the 8 and a lot of percentage but miracles can happen. We have the Bombers up next.

    runhome s38.png

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     

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    Art Reviews Matera's Rd 15 Game

    • 266393217_17771fe5de_z.jpg


    ART VANDELAY PRESENTS: A DEEP DIVE INTO THE SIM, STATS AND "3 VOTES MATERA92".
    ​
    Matera92 said:
    3 Votes Matera92.
    Click to expand...


    Possession 1.

    1 : .07 {lW} - Now Matera92 has the ball. What can he do with it?.
    1 : .1 {rW} - He beckons for a lead.
    1 : .13 {rW} - That's an extraordinary juggled one-hander to mcgrath_truther.

    Verdict: Shit skills lead to predictable turnover. 0/1


    Possession 2.

    1 : .24 {rW} - Matera92 rises over the pack majestically.
    1 : .28 {lW} - Matera92 assessing what lies ahead of him.
    1 : .3 {rHFF} - He kicks long and low.
    1 : .34 {rHFF} - Senor M spills the mark.

    Verdict: Low kick not to teammates advantage. Not @Senor M fault. 0/2

    Possession 3.

    1 : 1.51 {lW} - Handpass over the shoulder to Matera92.
    1 : 1.51 {rW} - He kicks sideways towards RonnieRaven.
    1 : 1.51 {rW} - Ohhh. RonnieRaven runs back with the flight of the ball and nearly gets cleaned up.
    1 : 1.51 {rW} - With the ball is RonnieRaven.

    Verdict: Shit kick but @RonnieRaven makes him look good with his great skills. 1/2

    Free Kick:

    1 : 1.51 {lW} - A wild handball - but luckily Matera92 was well placed to clean up.
    1 : 1.51 {lW} - Matera92 got into the back of Lunar.
    1 : 1.51 {rW} - Now Lunar has the ball. What can he do with it?.

    Verdict. Typical shit play from Matera causing turnover.

    Possession 4.

    1 : 3.23 {rW} - No mark taken as Lunar and Matera92 wrestle for position.
    1 : 3.27 {lW} - Matera92 slowing down the play.
    1 : 3.31 {lW} - A lookaway handpass to Tandy.
    1 : 3.34 {lW} - Don't tell me he's kicked it.
    1 : 3.38 {lW} - And Tandy scores a behind.

    Verdict: He hit a target. Don't expect a well done from Art. All he did was his job. 2/2.

    Possession 5.

    1 : 4.1 {lW} - Matera92 turns on the afterburners - look at him go.
    1 : 4.15 {rHFF} - I Dont Care takes off on a lead.
    1 : 4.19 {rHFF} - But kickthething is better positioned and marks safely

    Verdict: Yet another turnover. 2/3.

    Possession 6.

    1 : 4.58 {lW} - Matera92 with a moment to look downfield.
    1 : 5.02 {lW} - Matera92 takes a bounce and nearly fumbles it.
    1 : 5.06 {lHFF} - Matera92 touches the ball to the ground.
    1 : 5.09 {lHFF} - Boot to ball from Matera92 under pressure.
    1 : 5.12 {lHFF} - Fantastic goal from Matera92.

    Verdict: Holy shitttttttttttttttttttttttttt he ****ing did something. Well done floggo 3/3.

    Possession 7.

    1 : 6.04 {lW} - He transfers play using Matera92.
    1 : 6.06 {lW} - Matera92 takes an impressive grab.
    1 : 6.1 {lW} - Matera92 slowing down the play.
    1 : 6.15 {lW} - Matera92 bounces the ball.
    1 : 6.16 {rW} - A wild kick laterally towards RonnieRaven.
    1 : 6.2 {rW} - RonnieRaven wrestles with mcgrath_truther - and wins. Good mark.
    1 : 6.25 {rW} - RonnieRaven with the ball now.

    Verdict: Chose to kick laterally to a contest rather than DOWN THE LINE to a contest. Shit decision that yet again @RonnieRaven makes him look good. 4/3.

    Weak as Piss competitiveness.

    1 : 7.14 {rW} - RonnieRaven takes the mark on the second attempt.
    1 : 7.18 {rW} - RonnieRaven wants to get on with proceedings.
    1 : 7.22 {lW} - A wild kick laterally towards Matera92.
    1 : 7.24 {lW} - Matera92 is outmarked by Lunar.

    Verdict: Perfect kick from Ronnie that Mateflon fumbles with his shitness.


    Possession 8.

    1 : 8.28 {lW} - Matera92 calls for it.
    1 : 8.32 {lW} - Over the back of the pack comes Matera92 and plucks it out.
    1 : 8.36 {lW} - Matera92 wants to get on with proceedings.
    1 : 8.38 {CHF} - A spearing pass towards JoseMourinho.
    1 : 8.43 {CHF} - The umpire calls play on.
    1 : 8.47 {CHF} - JoseMourinho wants to get on with proceedings.

    Verdict: Clearly a kick not long enough given the play on call. 4/4.

    Possession 9.

    1 : 11.46 {lW} - A measured kick to Matera92.
    1 : 11.5 {lW} - The ball spills free.
    1 : 11.52 {lW} - Matera92 with a little space.
    1 : 11.56 {CHF} - He tries to find JoseMourinho with a chip pass.
    1 : 11.58 {CHF} - Horrific choice of kick and norway blue will mark unopposed.
    1 : 12.03 {CHB} - Not enough pressure on norway blue.

    Verdict: Lack of skills unable to mark a simple kick. Then doubles down with a turnover. 4/5.

    Possession 10.

    1 : 12.08 {rW} - Matera92 reads the play better and marks.
    1 : 12.13 {lW} - Its hard and tough but Matera92 wins possession.
    1 : 12.17 {rW} - He handpasses to RonnieRaven.

    Verdict: Again, no praise for simply doing your job. 5/5.

    Possession 11.

    1 : 13.04 {lW} - @Matera92 dances around Lunar.
    1 : 13.06 {lW} - There's been a change.
    1 : 13.1 - <<< Millky95 is trading places with JoshWoodenSpoon >>>
    1 : 13.16 {lW} - Matera92 takes them on.
    1 : 13.21 {lW} - Tandy on the end of this.

    Verdict. Well I'll be, he can hit a teammate with a handpass. 6/5

    Possession 12.

    1 : 14.02 {lW} - A lookaway handpass to Matera92.
    1 : 14.04 {lW} - Handpass over the shoulder to Tandy.

    Verdict: Two in a row. It's a November Miracle. 7/5.

    Possession 13.

    1 : 14.18 {lW} - Almost a throw to Matera92.
    1 : 14.25 {CHF} - Sees JoseMourinho out of the corner of his eye.
    1 : 14.29 {CHF} - Spoilt by norway blue.

    Verdict: More shitness. This is just sad. 7/6

    Possession 14.

    1 : 17.59 {lW} - Matera92 has possession.
    1 : 18.03 {rW} - A lookaway handpass to @RonnieRaven.

    Verdict: Wow! Having completed two handpasses he now isn't even looking! 7/7.

    Possession 15.

    1 : 20.21 {lW} - Matera92 breaks free and has found some space.
    1 : 20.25 {C} - Kick goes sideways.
    1 : 20.27 {C} - Chipmunk can't mark but is able to bring the ball to ground.
    1 : 20.31 {C} - Chipmunk sizes the options in front of him.

    Verdict: Shit kick Chippy does well to salvage. 7/8.

    More shitness.

    1 : 23.25 {rW} - Matera92 will take this. No - he's dropped it.

    Verdict: Just talentless. Bloody talentless.

    Possession 16.

    2 : 2.52 {lW} - Handpass over the shoulder to Matera92.
    2 : 2.57 {CHF} - He kicks towards JoseMourinho and norway blue.
    2 : 2.58 {CHF} - norway blue gets a timely fist to the ball.

    Verdict: Can't execute a simple foot pass. At this point he should just handball. A midfielder with ruckman skills. 7/9

    Possession 17.

    2 : 15.53 {lW} - Matera92 to send the ball forward.
    2 : 15.55 {rHFF} - That's a real finger-breaker in the direction of I Dont Care.
    2 : 16 {rHFF} - Top mark - not paid.
    2 : 16.04 {rHBF} - PluggaBlanche has it.

    Verdict: A shit kick once more. Needed to be softer for his teammate. Not a Jarman-esque bullet pass. 7/10

    Possession 18.

    2 : 22.02 {lW} - Handpasses to Matera92.
    2 : 22.06 {CHF} - Hoofs it forward..
    2 : 22.08 {CHF} - norway blue gets a timely fist to the ball.
    2 : 22.12 {lHBF} - kickthething assessing what lies ahead of him.
    2 : 22.16 {lHBF} - Kilroy receives his handpass.

    Verdict: "hoofs it forward". **** me dead, campaigner. Just how damn shit are you. 7/11.

    2 : 23 {rW} - Lunar shoves Matera92 out of the contest. Free kick paid.

    Verdict: Was definitely a dive. Flopped like a fish. Piss poor but not unexpected softness.

    Possession 19.

    3 : 3.42 {lW} - Quality gather by Matera92.
    3 : 3.46 {CHF} - A kick in the general direction of JoseMourinho.
    3 : 3.5 {CHF} - JoseMourinho can't mark but is able to bring the ball to ground.

    Verdict: No more leniency here. Generally direction resulting a teammate having to perform miracles just to avoid a turnover no longer tolerated. 7/12.

    Possession 20.

    3 : 4.17 {lW} - Matera92 slowing down the play.
    3 : 4.19 - <<< QueenSare is coming on to replace Kilroy >>>
    3 : 4.27 {lW} - Matera92 dances around Lunar.
    3 : 4.29 {lW} - Fires out the handpass to Senor M.

    Verdict: Give him some credit, he does have his handpasses dialled in. 8/12

    3 : 5.2 {rW} - Lunar outbodies Matera92 and takes the mark.

    Verdict: Weak in the contest. Again.

    Possession 21.

    3 : 5.26 {rW} - The ball falls straight into the hands of Matera92.
    3 : 5.31 {lW} - Nobody's checking Matera92.
    3 : 5.35 {rHFF} - He chooses the sensible option - to kick it long.
    3 : 5.37 {rHFF} - That's an extraordinary juggled one-hander to kickthething.

    Verdict: Under no pressure. Another turnover by foot. 8/13 :knife::knife::knife:

    Possession 22.

    3 : 5.58 {lW} - The ball is now with Matera92.
    3 : 6.02 {lW} - A wild handball - but luckily JoshWoodenSpoon was well placed to clean up.
    3 : 6.06 {lW} - Long shot at goal from JoshWoodenSpoon.
    3 : 6.08 {lW} - It's going to result in a goal. Goal to @JoshWoodenSpoon.

    Verdict: The leniency is over, but given Joshie made up for it. Cancels out. Still 8/13.

    Possession 23

    3 : 12.27 {lW} - Matera92 has it.
    3 : 12.31 {lW} - Matera92 has a bounce.
    3 : 12.36 {CHF} - A measured kick in the direction of JoseMourinho.
    3 : 12.37 {CHF} - Spoilt by norway blue.

    Verdict: Again, 'in the direction'. Stop kicking the footy, dickhead. 8/14.

    Possession 24.

    3 : 13.13 {lW} - Matera92 does some crumbing and is away.
    3 : 13.16 {lW} - @Matera92 too far out to score - or is he?.
    3 : 13.19 {lW} - That's a terrible miss.

    Verdict: Delusions of grandeur that he was good enough to kick it straight from distance. His earlier kicks show that to be foolish. 8/15.

    Possession 25.

    3 : 15.24 {lW} - A lookaway handpass to Matera92.
    3 : 15.28 {C} - He beckons for a lead.
    3 : 15.31 {C} - Over the head of Chipmunk.
    3 : 15.35 {C} - Chipmunk dances around Bovo.
    3 : 15.38 {C} - Hands it off to JoshWoodenSpoon.

    Verdict: Chippy yet again needing to cover for Teffy's shit kicks. 8/16.

    Possession 26.

    3 : 16.06 {lW} - Matera92 wants to get on with proceedings.
    3 : 16.08 {rW} - Kick goes sideways.
    3 : 16.12 {rW} - The ball drops short of RonnieRaven.
    3 : 16.16 {rW} - With the ball is Lunar.

    Verdict: Running out of ways to describe his shit kicks. Time and time again missing targets. 8/17

    Possession 27.

    3 : 18.03 {lW} - Matera92 breaks a tackle and is off.
    3 : 18.07 {rHFF} - A flat punt.
    3 : 18.12 {rHFF} - All up but nobody can take the mark.
    3 : 18.13 {rHFF} - Who wants it? @I Dont Care does. Great stuff.

    Verdict: Another nothing punt to no one that a teammate has to clean up. 8/18.


    Putrid competitiveness.

    3 : 24.08 {lW} - Matera92 is caught under pressure and knocks the ball forward.
    3 : 24.1 {rW} - Not enough pressure on Lunar.

    Possession 28.

    4 : 1.23 {lW} - Taking the ball is Matera92.
    4 : 1.28 {rW} - A short kick to RonnieRaven.
    4 : 1.3 {rW} - Over the back of the pack comes RonnieRaven and plucks it out.
    4 : 1.34 {rW} - RonnieRaven slowing down the play.

    Verdict: Q4 and he's finally hitting a footpass. Hallelujah! 9/18

    Possession 29.

    4 : 2.11 {rW} - Horrific choice of kick and Matera92 will mark unopposed.
    4 : 2.15 {C} - Chipmunk looking for a lead.
    4 : 2.17 {C} - Smashed by Bovo.
    4 : 2.21 {C} - Bovo threads his way through traffic.

    Verdict: Poor decision to kick to someone not open. An injury here to Chippy is on him. 9/19.

    Possession 30.

    4 : 8.51 {lW} - Quality gather by Matera92.
    4 : 8.55 {rW} - A wild kick laterally towards RonnieRaven.
    4 : 8.59 {rW} - RonnieRaven can't mark but is able to bring the ball to ground.
    4 : 9.01 {lW} - mcgrath_truther with a little space.
    4 : 9.05 {rW} - No-look handpass to Lunar.

    Verdict: Yet another indiscriminate kick that is turned over. 9/20

    Possessions 31 & 32

    4 : 10.15 {lW} - Hands it off to Matera92.
    4 : 10.19 {rW} - Handpass to space. RonnieRaven runs onto it.
    4 : 10.23 {rW} - He takes the opportunity to bounce.
    4 : 10.25 {lW} - Handpasses to Matera92.
    4 : 10.3 {C} - He tries to find Chipmunk with a chip pass.

    Verdict: Hits two targets in quick succession. 11/20

    Possession 33.

    4 : 11.15 {lW} - Matera92 takes them on.
    4 : 11.17 {rHFF} - He rewards the I Dont Care lead.
    4 : 11.21 {rHFF} - Shocking kick and kickthething will take the mark.

    Verdict: Chops his legs off and give him wooden stump to walk with. 11/21.

    Possession 34.

    4 : 16.01 {rW} - Lunar is crunched in a tackle by Matera92.
    4 : 16.06 {lW} - Matera92 slowing down the play.
    4 : 16.1 {lW} - A slick handpass goes to Senor M.
    4 : 16.12 {lW} - Senor M bounces the ball.

    Verdict: Sniped his opponent but again hit a target. 12/21.


    Possession 35.

    4 : 23.51 {lW} - Matera92 with all the time in the world.
    4 : 23.53 {lW} - A quick handpass to JoshWoodenSpoon

    Verdict: Handballing is his go. 13/21
    Click to expand...

    So as you can see folks, this so called "3 vote game" has garnered nothing more than 13 effective disposals.
    Worthy of scorn for being a liability more so that productive. I recommend we drop Matera92 to the Istopes.

    Its Over GIF by MOODMAN
     
    • Rd 15 Review
    • 15.png

    In Round 15, our "home" game took a wild detour all the way to FNB Stadium in Johannesburg, South Africa.

    Our coach, still blissfully unaware that the game had been moved, was last seen frantically on the phone trying to relay messages to the bench from the Stadium in the Sky coaches box, clearly missing the memo that the rest of the team was halfway across the world. With no one calling the shots, we were in need of a quick solution. Fortunately, a local overheard our dilemma and offered his services as a temporary coach. When we asked about his experience, he admitted he’d never heard of Qooty but was willing to give it a go. We told him he was clearly overqualified, but he said he’d do it on one condition, if he could get a selfie with Test Tickle.

    With our new coach on board and a reshuffled lineup to cover Cap’s absence (SSSSSS stepping into the ruck, Matera92 to the wing, and JoseMourinho at CHF), we were ready to roll. The lineup changes paid off right away, with Matera nabbing the first possession and Jose slotting the opening goal within the first minute. MKMatty and Matera quickly followed with goals of their own, giving us a solid 20 point lead within the opening five minutes. The Bombers responded, but with Jose booting his second and Art Vandelay adding two goals, we kept control and took a 14 point lead into quarter time.

    The second quarter continued how the first finished, with both teams trading goals. Tommycash snagged two, while Art, Jose, and Shadow Man each added one to keep us narrowly in front. By halftime, we held on to a 10 point lead, the match shaping up to be a nail-biter as both teams refused to give an inch.

    Our third quarter saw us break away, with MKMatty kickstarting a goal streak, followed by majors from Senor M and JoshWoodenSpoon to stretch our lead to 30 points. Jose added another late in the term, capping off a 6 to 2 goal quarter that pushed the margin out to 39 points going into the final break.

    The Bombers fought hard in the last, clawing back to within 23 points, but Art Vandelay_ came up clutch with two crucial goals to steady our nerves. We traded goals with the Bombers for the rest of the game and ultimately walked away with a 35 point win.

    Now sitting in 10th, our finals dream is still alive. If we can beat the Dragons next week and get a bit of luck with other results, we might sneak into the top 8. The teams in 7th, 8th, and 9th have all played one extra game, so they’re well within reach if we keep up this form.

    Everyone played their role this week, but there were some standout performances. Another of our rookie coach’s moves was shifting JoshWoodenSpoon into the middle of the ground, where he thrived with 24 kicks, 8 handballs, a team high 10 tackles, 3 goals, and a massive 148 DT points. Matera92 looked every bit the wing king of old, clocking up 25 kicks, 13 handballs, and 8 marks for 138 DT. Chipmunk anchored the middle with 13 kicks and 21 handballs (98 DT), while RonnieRaven was the new age wing King, collecting 12 kicks, 14 handballs, and a team high 10 marks. Senor M moved into the Ruck after half time and got 13 hitouts, 19 disposals and 2 goals.

    Up forward, JoseMourinho was clinical with 4 goals from 24 disposals (102 DT), while Art Vandelay_ was electrifying, Kicking 5 goals and adding a touch of class to the Bears' attack. Other goalkickers were JoshWoodenSpoon and Tommycash with 3 apiece, 2 each to MKMatty and Senor M and singles to I Dont Care, Matera92 and Shadow Man.

    Rd 15 Stats.png

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
    • Rd 16 Review
    • 16.png

    It was Heritage Round, and we returned to our home ground, the Stadium in the Sky, for a clash against the Dragons in muddy conditions.

    We started the game strongly, kicking the opening three goals while the Dragons struggled with their accuracy in front of goal. By quarter time, we had kicked four straight goals to their 2.5, taking a 7 point lead into quarter time.

    In the second quarter, the Dragons continued to create opportunities and, unfortunately for us, found their accuracy. They kicked seven straight goals for the quarter, leaving us 23 points down at halftime.

    The third quarter was a real slog as the muddy conditions made it tough for either side to move the ball cleanly, limiting scoring opportunities. The Dragons managed two goals to our one, extending their lead to 28 points going into the final term.

    We needed a strong start to the fourth quarter to stay in the game, and we got just that. Art Vandelay kicked a goal in the opening minute, followed by quick goals from MKMatty and RonnieRaven, reducing the margin to just nine points. Sadly, our scoring ended there, with our final three shots registering only behinds. The Dragons held on for a 13 point win, putting a massive dent in our finals chances.

    With the challenging conditions, individual stats were lower than usual. Cap led the way with 18 touches and 12 hitouts, while Chipmunk, I Don’t Care, and Señor M followed with 14 disposals each.

    Art Vandelay kicked three goals, falling just short of becoming the leading goal kicker in Bears history. However, he did manage to claim the leading points record from Matera. Jose, Millky, MKMatty, MWPP, RonnieRaven, Señor M, and Shadow Man each contributed one goal.

    Rd 16 Stats.png

    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
    • Rd 17 Review
    • 17.png

    We headed out to Spotswood to take on the Old Boys in our Round 17 clash, and we started strongly but couldn’t hit the side of a barn. After kicking the first five behinds of the match, MKMatty finally found the big sticks to score our opening goal. Despite dominating the play, we managed just 1.6 before the Old Boys registered their first score. By quarter-time, we’d had nine scoring shots to their four but only held a five-point lead, leaving us to wonder if our inaccuracy might come back to bite us.

    The second quarter started with a flurry of goals traded between the sides before we regained control. However, much like the first quarter, we squandered opportunities, adding four behinds in a row. The Old Boys capitalised, kicking two quick goals to take the lead. Matera92 pushed forward to show Art Vandelay how it was done, booting his first goal to restore our advantage, only for the Old Boys to reply again. Matera wasn’t done yet, adding his second major to give us a slender two-point lead at halftime. Seventeen scoring shots to ten, yet only a two-point lead—it was clear how much we’d butchered our chances in front of goal.

    The third quarter began in familiar fashion, with more behinds than goals, but we finally got on a run. MWPP, Señor M, and Shadow Man all slotted goals to extend our lead. Matera added his third just before the siren to give us a 22-point buffer heading into the final term.

    The Old Boys started the last quarter strongly, kicking a quick goal to reduce the margin, but MKMatty quickly replied to restore the 22-point gap. From there, the Old Boys took control, chipping away at our lead. With under five minutes remaining, we clung to a 10-point advantage and looked set to hold on. Unfortunately, all those missed chances earlier in the match came back to haunt us, as the Old Boys kicked two late goals to snatch a heartbreaking two-point win, crushing any lingering hopes we had of making finals. Despite 27 scoring shots to 19, we fell short, 11.16 (82) to 13.6 (84).

    Art Vandelay will rue his four behinds, not only because they proved costly, but also because they might have cost him the chance to become the first Bear to reach 300 goals. Matera also battled inaccuracy, kicking 3.3 but still managed to lead the way with three goals. MKMatty and Shadow Man added two goals each, while MWPP, Ronnie Raven, Señor M, and SSSSSS contributed one apiece.

    Cap led the possession count with 26 disposals and 13 hitouts. Ronnie Raven was next best with 25 touches, followed by Test Tickle with 24, and Art Vandelay with 21.

    Rd 17 Stats.png
    Art Vandelay_ Cap Chipmunk CountryLad Electronic_Renaissance Fizzler Grin I Dont Care Jezmiester40 JoseMourinho JoshWoodenSpoon kane249 Matera92 Millky95 MKMatty Muddiemoose MWPP RonnieRaven RookiePick Senor M Shadow Man SSSSSS Tandy Test Tickle Tommycash
     
    • JoseMourinho 50 Game Milestone
    • Jose header.png

    This weekend, we celebrate a true Las Vegas icon in the making, JoseMourinho, as he lines up for his 50th game for the Bears.

    Since arriving at The Stadium in the Sky, Jose has done what he does best, parked his bus in the forward line and refused to budge unless it was to kick goals. He’s scored in 35 of his 49 games so far, including three majestic bags of five. One of those was in a Qualifying Final, where he helped drive us to a famous victory.

    The Bombers have been Jose’s personal bunnies. He ran riot against them in that final with five goals and just a few weeks ago delivered another demolition job, racking up 24 possessions and booting four goals for good measure.

    For players with 50 games or more, Jose’s goal average is ranked seventh for the Bears, a remarkable achievement in such a short time. And if he sticks around long enough, there’s a good chance he might even reach 300 goals before some of the old-timers do.

    Of course, Jose isn’t just about the numbers; he’s a man of words too. While his famous line, “if I speak, I’m in big trouble,” remains iconic, Jose is always good for a one liner, especially when it comes to summing up the final result in his signature style.

    Here’s to 50 games of brilliance, Jose, keep parking that bus and kicking those goals.

    jose stats.png

    Jose Bus LVB.jpg
     

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