Star Wars™ Rogue One

[A Cut Above]

http://villagecinemas.com.au/movies...cg5wwN4XrS-4FlJxBb546Am7yrljuo-q4caAgO_8P8HAQ

Book your tickets consumers, its time for your yearly Star Wars™ Disney cash grab. The $4bn they spent on the license isn't going to pay off itself so you're expected to not only attend a screening but also fork out a chunk of your peasant wage on Star Wars™ merchandise, you'll find a list here:

https://www.finder.com.au/star-wars-merchandise


Rest assured Star Wars™ fans, this year's offering is of the very highest quality! Directed by the renowned Gareth Edwards (the visionary behind Godzilla.... no, the 2014 one), starring Felicity Jones (you know her from the role she made famous in Spiderman 2), with music written decades ago by John Williams and remixed by.. some other guy.

Also starring Deigo Luna (do you know how much the Hispanic market is worth? Disney does), Alan Tudyk as the droid (who in a complete surprise spends the whole movie complaining) and zero white male good guys because that would be racist.

Expect plenty of A New Hope references (that's the name we're expected to call the original Star Wars™ movie because they've made so ****ing many now if we didn't everyone would ask "huh which one are you talking about? OHHH the one with a shred of originality yep gotcha") because everyone loves easter eggs and when you're ripping off someone else's IP its easier to regurgitate than re-interpret.

Also you can look forward to action set on a BRAND NEW PLANET which looks suspiciously like Vietnam because The Maldives gave production a juicy tax break and it fits with the new 'gritty war story' narrative that's as out of place in a kids' summer popcorn flick as it sounds.

So go ahead and take the family along, buy the DVD and the collectible figures, and know you'll be enriching the wealth of this poor man who was forced to take a pay cut down to $44.9m last year.

 

[Lethality]

I went to a midnight screen on TFA, that's about how excited I was for it. I didn't bother watching it again. I downloaded it, but I couldn't be ****ed watching it again, that's how shit it was.

Not sure I feel different about this one, in that I'm not particularly interested in seeing it. The line-up looks like PC bullshit too.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

A lot of political correctness in that post Bossk, but I agree that they are fleecing my favourite movie series too much. However, in saying that, I don't mind having a few extra films to watch when I am an old fart as the six films aren't enough.

Disney are making an absolute killing on Star Wars merchandise, that is where the real money lies.

 

[Breva_]

crisis averted, when you wear your star wars t-shirt a day too early but then find another.

 

[Gray Day]

SJW Wars.

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

They wasted a good character in Kyle Katarn.

Now he was a star wars character we all could get behind

 

[Bodicifer]

No 'Jack Watts would make a great C3PO' poll option???

 

[David Schwarz]

So the plot is based on Mexicans fighting the Empire in Vietnam with a droid that is based on the character of Plugger35 ?

I'll wait until it comes out on VHS

 

[A Cut Above]

No 'Jack Watts would make a great C3PO' poll option???

"These aren't the draft picks you're looking for" ?

So the plot is based on Mexicans fighting the Empire in Vietnam with a droid that is based on the character of Plugger35 ?

I'll wait until it comes out on VHS

The whole movie is designed by committee (4 scriptwriters apparently) to maximize profit & minimize risk of failure. In other words it will break absolutely no new ground whatsoever (like the last shitty JJ one.. unless you count a lightsaber with a moronic crossguard), wheel out cliche after cliche, and wear out a once-sparkling brand just a little bit more. Ugh, did I just call Star Wars a "brand"? That right there is the whole ****ing problem, symbolic of everything wrong with today's neo-capitali$t trash kulcha.

So yeah, they're going to keep churning these unimaginative reruns with B grade directors on a yearly basis until everyone's about as sick of Star Wars as I am of ****ing superhero movies upon which time Disney will buy another license (maybe they can poach Aliens from Fox) and begin milking that, because surely this is the business model Walt had in mind when he created Mickey Mouse purely for profit rather than some crazy notion of entertaining children.

 

[Bodicifer]

So the plot is based on Mexicans fighting the Empire in Vietnam with a droid that is based on the character of Plugger35 ?

I'll wait until it comes out on VHS

What, no Beta?

 

[David Schwarz]

"These aren't the draft picks you're looking for" ?



The whole movie is designed by committee (4 scriptwriters apparently) to maximize profit & minimize risk of failure. In other words it will break absolutely no new ground whatsoever (like the last shitty JJ one.. unless you count a lightsaber with a moronic crossguard), wheel out cliche after cliche, and wear out a once-sparkling brand just a little bit more. Ugh, did I just call Star Wars a "brand"? That right there is the whole ******* problem, symbolic of everything wrong with today's neo-capitali$t trash kulcha.

So yeah, they're going to keep churning these unimaginative reruns with B grade directors on a yearly basis until everyone's about as sick of Star Wars as I am of ******* superhero movies upon which time Disney will buy another license (maybe they can poach Aliens from Fox) and begin milking that, because surely this is the business model Walt had in mind when he created Mickey Mouse purely for profit rather than some crazy notion of entertaining children.

Disney doing Aliens is ridiculously funny

How can we make this happen?

 

[Jazny]

All you need to make a good movie is make some kind of princess who needs to be rescued by someone who looks like Bryce Gibbs from zombies/stormtroopers/orcs and have an ending where everyone lives happily ever after. I am tired of movies trying to be edgie and killing all the good people. It worked for GoT because GoT keeps selling the hope that the bad people will get justice in the end, but bad endings in movies just make the entire movie pointless. Like when Leo got shot for no reason in the departed

 

[GWBogan]

Original unaltered trilogy (where Han shot first) or GTFO.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

All you need to make a good movie is make some kind of princess who needs to be rescued by someone who looks like Bryce Gibbs from zombies/stormtroopers/orcs and have an ending where everyone lives happily ever after. I am tired of movies trying to be edgie and killing all the good people. It worked for GoT because GoT keeps selling the hope that the bad people will get justice in the end, but bad endings in movies just make the entire movie pointless. Like when Leo got shot for no reason in the departed

I prefer my version:

 

[RedVest4]

An attack on Star Wars is like an attack on Sam Menegola. Watch yourselves flogs.

 

[Plugger35]

crisis averted, when you wear your star wars t-shirt a day too early but then find another.

No self respecting Star Wars nerd could be seen wearing the same Star Wars t-shirt twice in a row, you'd lose all nerd cred.

So the plot is based on Mexicans fighting the Empire in Vietnam with a droid that is based on the character of Plugger35 ?

I'll wait until it comes out on VHS

Do they have umpires officiating lightsaber battles now? F*** that.

The whole movie is designed by committee (4 scriptwriters apparently) to maximize profit & minimize risk of failure. In other words it will break absolutely no new ground whatsoever (like the last shitty JJ one.. unless you count a lightsaber with a moronic crossguard), wheel out cliche after cliche, and wear out a once-sparkling brand just a little bit more. Ugh, did I just call Star Wars a "brand"? That right there is the whole ******* problem, symbolic of everything wrong with today's neo-capitali$t trash kulcha.

So yeah, they're going to keep churning these unimaginative reruns with B grade directors on a yearly basis until everyone's about as sick of Star Wars as I am of ******* superhero movies upon which time Disney will buy another license (maybe they can poach Aliens from Fox) and begin milking that, because surely this is the business model Walt had in mind when he created Mickey Mouse purely for profit rather than some crazy notion of entertaining children.

I said the same thing in another thread, they are going to milk Star Wars to death like all the other successful movie franchises until people get sick of it.

A Star Wars film used to be something special, now they'll be like the superhero films they crank out every year which are just meaningless formulaic shit.

 

[Lethality]

They wasted a good character in Kyle Katarn.

Now he was a star wars character we all could get behind

He actually appeared in a few of the Expanded Universe books.

 

[David Schwarz]

No self respecting Star Wars nerd could be seen wearing the same Star Wars t-shirt twice in a row, you'd lose all nerd cred.



Do they have umpires officiating lightsaber battles now? F*** that.



I said the same thing in another thread here, they are going to start milking Star Wars to death like all the other successful movie franchises until everyone gets sick of them.

A Star Wars film used to be something special, now they will be like all the superhero films they crank out every year which are just formulaic bullshit.

Worse - Darth Stevic

 

[Spongebob]

No self respecting Star Wars nerd could be seen wearing the same Star Wars t-shirt twice in a row, you'd lose all nerd cred.


Snip

If it were a hipster nerd they could be wearing it multiple times ironically.

 

[Messenger]

Shut up and take my money, Disney.

 

[Geelong_Sicko]

So, does Darthie get much screen time? Are stormies as inept as ever even though they seem to have carved out an Empire?

 

[Hawk Dork]

Going tomorrow Im not a fan but wife loves it.
Hope theres good special effect to entertain me

 

[peternorth]

movie was high on diversity. and then all the asians died

 

[RedVest4]

I very much enjoyed the movie

 

[Lethality]

Not enough Muslims, transgenders, or disabled people in the cast. On a scale of John Laws to Hitler, I give this an Ivan Milat.