Roys FC (sweet FA) Roys (Gorillas) FC - Season 12 - General Thread - Start Here If New

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Round 14 (Part1!)

The final round of the season - an away game against our bitches, the Southern Dragons. Pre-match banter between the 2 sides was merely token efforts. The Roys in particular with their eyes firmly on the bigger picture - the End of Season Trip to Miami. Training was very subdued at Brunny St as many were distracted with lengthy phone calls to US authorities in attempts to smooth passage to that country, or ascertain statute of limitation of previous indescretions. Killer who had seen it all before simply purchased himself a fake passport.

Even the traditional mid-week dinner was a flat affair, with not a single pole-dancer in sight. Some polite throwing of stubbies in appreciation of don Vitos mum's meatballs, but it wasn't until Royboys missus flashed her tit$ before the evening sparked up. Despite her efforts, bar takings were down a huge 30%, swear jar takings 50%.

Selectors were oblivious to all of this with "No Change" anounced. Unchanged!!! Despite the fact killer & IMS were displaying obvious symptoms from their conquests a week earlier!

Once again Reardo came to the fore - he had sniffed out something was wrong, and it wasn't merely the discharge from IMS's old fella or the shower drains had blocked again. Reardo smelled complacency. And he should know what it smells like.

An incentive was required. At the end of a long season we were inured to promises of booze, booze and more booze. Reardo used the "carrot & stick" approach. He placed all the End of Season Trip $$$ on not just a win, but a win between 50 & 60points at the attractive odds of 16 to 1. Do this and we go 5 star all the way and once the delights of Miami start to fade, head to Spain for another weeks entertainment. Those bulls of Pamploma won't know what hit 'em. Lose and we go on a camping trip in 3KZs backyard. The thought of sleeping between Fred & FatPizza in a 3 man tent rather than a three-some with Concetta & Margauritte in Madrid was all it took.

The Boys were well & truly ready to teach their Southern Dragon Bitches a lesson
 

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aww - c'mon FP. We could watch Brokeback Mountain on my portable DVD player.........

If I can get kids off 'puter - last round & winner goes up tonight/Sat am:thumbsu:
 
Round 14 (Part 2) - Vs Southern Dragons at Dragon Island

Down comes the rain - a 50 point wins going to be tough in these conditions.

FatPizza dominates the first tap & RoyLion goals within the opening 2 minutes. Its looking good for the Gorillas:thumbsu:

1 : 17.23 {CHB} - Huge bump by Fred on indieswan96.
1 : 17.28 {CHF} - Fred sizes the options in front of him.
1 : 17.34 {FF} - He involves sblack in the play.
1 : 17.4 {FF} - This will be a goal to sblack.
1 : 17.44 {FF} - That's one of those special goals. Number 1 for sblack.


This typifies the team play by the Roys, however despite great passages of play like this one we go into 1/4 time 7 points down.

Early in the 2nd stanza, reardo shows a bit of grunt.
2 : .18 {lW} - Axel. is crunched in a tackle by Reardo 44.
whilst Fatty Lumpkin shows a bit of toe
2 : 3.15 {lHBF} - The ball is now with FattyLumpkin.
2 : 3.19 {lHBF} - FattyLumpkin has time to take a bounce.
2 : 3.25 {lW} - Another bounce taken by FattyLumpkin.

but it takes too much out of him
2 : 24.4 {lHBF} - FattyLumpkin turns on the afterburners - look at him go.
2 : 24.49 {lHBF} - Watch out! Oh! BACCS has laid FattyLumpkin out flat.


Roylion - thank god for Roylion. His 4 goals to half time are the only thing keeping us remotely close. There is no substitute for his class.
2 : 18.34 {FB} - Great bump by Fat Pizza. The Lone Wolf has not moved.
2 : 18.38 {FF} - Taking the ball is Roylion.
2 : 18.44 {FF} - Roylion wants a goal.
2 : 18.51 {FF} - Brilliant goal to Roylion.

(Nice assist there FP)

At half time we're down 5-3 to 7-4. Several despondant players are seen casting their "Spanish for Dummies" books into the bin and 3KZ sends the wife home to start mowing the back lawn. Fred takes centre stage and produces a tear-jerker "Lets win this one for the Mobber" speech.

Mobbs as we all know had disappeared without a trace. Early rumors had him being collected by a Chinese sub after a swim off the Victorian coast. Others that his was involved in Victoria's Underbelly and was "swimming with the fishes". The current popular story involved alien abduction. The thought of our Mobbs undergoing anal probing at the hands of some bug-eyed monster disgusted some, enraged most & even aroused one or 2! Lets win this one for the Mobbster became the cry.
 
Part 3

The 3rd quarter - the premiership quarter, or in this case the wooden spoon avoiding quarter.

The Dragons bag the first of the quarter & it looks hopeless. Roylion bags number 5 and destroys a career at the same time.
3 : 4.09 {FB} - Great bump by Roy FitzLion. Pie 4 Life has not moved.
3 : 4.15 {rFP} - Roy FitzLion signals for his teammates to present.
3 : 4.19 {rFP} - Roy FitzLion slams the ball at goal.
3 : 4.23 {rFP} - This has ended up being far too easy a goal to Roy FitzLion

sblack bags another
3 : 11.33 {rW} - Boot to ball from sblack under pressure.
3 : 11.39 {rW} - And its straight through the middle.

followed by some teamwork that allows Jake the Peg to score
3 : 17.58 {rFP} - A bit of space for Roy FitzLion to utilise.
3 : 18.05 {lFP} - Passes to JakeThePeg by hand.
3 : 18.09 {lFP} - JakeThePeg - about 45 metres and not much angle.
3 : 18.13 {lFP} - JakeThePeg kicks the goal.

killer gets in on the act to level the scores and does in fact bring the house down
3 : 18.44 {rW} - Gives the ball to killer.
3 : 18.52 {rW} - He has a bounce.
3 : 18.57 {rW} - This will bring the house down if it goes through.
3 : 19.01 {rW} - Tremendous solo effort from killer results in a goal.

RoyFitz goes himself this time and the good guys lead for the first time in yonks.
3 : 21.37 {rFP} - With the ball is Roy FitzLion.
3 : 21.41 {rFP} - Roy FitzLion opens up the goalface.
3 : 21.47 {rFP} - What a goal.

Another one by Roylion (his 6th) to finish the quarter and we head into lemon time 14 points in front. Top speech Fred!!

4th Quarter sees RoyFitz bag another just 40 secs in - 20 points up. Could it be possible?? Another by Reardo, whos having a pearler.
4 : 5.08 {lHFF} - Reardo 44 attacks the goalface.
4 : 5.12 {lHFF} - Reardo 44 likes it and so does the goal umpire.

The forward line is functioning beautifully, with more goals to RoyFitz & Roylion and we skip out to a 44 point lead at the 14 minute mark.
4 : 13.55 {rFP} - Roy FitzLion - about 45 metres and not much angle.
4 : 14.01 {rFP} - Roy FitzLion doesn't let us down.
Southern Dragons : 10.6.66
The Roys FC : 16.14.110

A minute later flea29 makes it an even 50.
4 : 15.03 {lHFF} - flea29 goes all the way.
4 : 15.09 {lHFF} - This has ended up being far too easy a goal to flea29

Roylion bags his 8th at the 17th minute mark and that magical 50-60 point spread is achieved - but is it too early
4 : 17.02 {FF} - Chance for a goal here for Roylion.
4 : 17.11 {FF} - Great goal by Roylion.
Southern Dragons : 10.6.66
The Roys FC : 18.15.123


Enter don Vito - he has a quiet chat to the ump and presents him on 'offer he can't refuse". The remainder of the game is played in a 50m radius of the can bar on the far wing as a result of 7 minutes of "constructive umpiring"

Final scores 18-15 to 10-6 a 57 point flogging by my calculator:thumbsu:
 
Round 14 Votes

errr - there were none:eek: In all the excitement of the win and the rush to get to the airport for the EOS trip, votes sort of slipped peoples minds. However the RoyFC committee have decided to watch the video of the game and award votes accordingly. Unfortunately said viewing always clashed with NFL screenings, cricket, repeats of NCIS & Broke Back Mountain on the Movie channel, so its taken a while.

Anyway - 5 votes is easy. Roylion for his 8 goals & donVito for his persuasive directive to the ump in the last.
4 - killer had a beauty
3 Reardo - another top game
2 FatPizza dominated the ruck all day
1 RoyFitz for his 4 goals from 5kicks & IMS for a dominnat display

I think that makes the Broken Medal Leaderboard look something like:

26 - FatPizza, Reardo :thumbsu::thumbsu:
23 - Royboy2 :thumbsu:
22 - IMS :thumbsu:
16 - sblack:thumbsu:

Congrats FatPizza & Reardo on joint winners of the Broken Medal.

(Full scoreboard to come after my first beer)
 
Sensational effort FattyLumpkin. I was on the edge of my beanbag as the count came to down to the wire. Your epic retelling of our inspirational win over the Southern Dargons should provide the basis for a Parkin-esque player essay writing exercise which must be part of our next preseason.

Congratulations to FatPizza and Reardo on their wins. As a young recruit, playing his first season for The Roys FC, I have some great role models to emulate.

Pumped for next season.
 
IMS third, well done! Shame the odds were $1.02, could have made a fortune...:thumbsu:
 
¡Los saludos Gorilas prójimas! Esto es llamamiento Gordo de Pizza de Madrid. Thankyou para ayudarme ganar mi premio B&F tercero & 2 en una fila para el Roys poderoso. Yo no pensé 2010 fueron uno de mis mejores años. Había unos pocos puntos culminantes individuales para jugadores de Roys durante la temporada, pero fue más un duro, sudando tinta el esfuerzo del equipo. Fui inspirado por nuestros jóvenes principiantes, inclusive Reardo, Royboy2, IMS & sblack, que yo también felicito para su trabajo fino a través de la temporada, en & del vestigio. Espero que disfrute todo del de temporada baja & volverá rejuvenecida de su interrupción. Desafortunadamente yo no tuve la ocasión de donar testículo atrás al club, porque alguien lo comió.
 
or in English
Greetings fellow Gorillas! This is Fat Pizza calling from Madrid. Thankyou for helping me to win my 3rd B&F award & 2nd in a row for the mighty Roys. I didn't think 2010 was one of my best years. There were a few individual highlights for Roys players during the season, but it was more of a hard, slogging team effort. I was inspired by our young tyros, including Reardo, Royboy2, IMS & sblack, who I also congratulate for their fine work throughout the season, on & off the track. I hope you are all enjoying the off-season & will return rejuvenated from your break. Unfortunately I didn't get the chance to donate 3KZ's testicle back to the club, because someone ate it.
 

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Congratulations to Fat Pizza for back to back Broken Medals and to Reardo winning his first medal... A well deserved result to two guys who carry the Roys week in week out.. You two are my equal favorites with the other 16 guys (I don't really like one of you)

Once again, finishing third has become a specialty of mine, something that is almost impossible to emulate... I am proud to be a part of this wonderful club and consistently being known as the "third best" at everything :thumbsu:

Big season ahead boys, really looking forward to it!!!

Well done to FL on a fantastic count!!!
 
I'm emotionally spent, that took everything out of me. To say I feel humbled is an understatement, I grew up dreaming of becoming a Broken Medallist but never did i think it would become a reality.

Congratulations to Fat Pizza, you are a legend and I'm honoured to share the award with you. To my fellow team-mates a big thanks to you all, you make turning up to training less of a chore.

I look forward to next season with renewed enthusiasm. With a bit of luck we should play finals, won't that be a novel experience. I've started planning our End of Season trip already and have already made reservations at the Benalla caravan park. Should finances permit I've also tenatively booked flights and accommodation for a trip to New York city!! The place I've booked backs onto Central Park so we should be able to get up to all sorts of mischief.

I've also purchased a new 6 burner BBQ.:thumbsu:
 
Congratulations Reardo and Fat Pizza! That says so much doesn't it. The old stager and the new blood (who is also old), sharing the honours. Well done Royboy2! One of those unsung heroes who just does his thing all season, it shows with this strong showing. And of course, who can forget our out-of-towner ItsMyBronze, or "Bermagui" as I am intent on making everyone call him.

Ok well I really only checked in 'cause I thought an anal probe was on offer. I'll make my usual promise of being around more often next season and then probably fail to live up to the promise, as per usual.

You folks are my lovey doveys. Lovey doveys all the time.

And Fatty, what a massive effort! Best clubman award, you're all over it like a ... i dunno ... a pool of vomit or something ... no that's not right ... Great effort and thank you very much for picking up the shreds of what I failed to deliver.
 
Re: Team List Management - Season 12

Let's get our s**t together, season starts next week. All positions are open for discussion as are players currently on the list. The one thing I will say is that regardless of posting performance Mobbs will ALWAYS be captain of the Roys.

SEASON 13 SQUAD

1. Fred
2. Stocka
3. ItsMyShow
4. The Lions Den
5. Maroon Goon
6. Tim The Toolman
7. Kooka
8. killer
9. Roylion
10. Duritz
11. don vito of fitzroy
13. Reardo 44
14. Secular Bicep
17. Fat Pizza
19. Lionsman
20. sblack
22. Mobbenfuhrer (c)
27. FattyLumpkin
29. flea29
32. Mr Ripper
33. Woaneamirri33
35. 3KZ is Football
42. Carn The Roys!
44. Royboy2
50. JakeThePeg
58. Roy FitzLion

Out of that list I reckon we have 10 posters who are regular, and I'm not talking bowel movements, they should get the best positions.

Thoughts?
 
Put me wherever.....but I'm in for this season.
Great to hear mate, I don't think there will be any opposition to you lining up at Full Forward once again after your stellar performances last season.:thumbsu:
 
Well I've been upping my fiber intake so I should be pretty regular this season. I had no idea the season started so soon. Can we count last season as our preseason?
 
Re: Team List Management - Season 12

Possible Round 1 line-up.

Backs - Secular Bicep, JakeThePeg, killer
Half Backs - Flea29, Mobbenfuhrer, Maroon Goon
Centre - ItsMyShow, Fred, Carn The Roys!
Half Forwards - Royboy2, FattyLumpkin, 3KZ is Football
Forwards - Roy FitzLion, Roylion, don vito of fitzroy
Followers - Fat Pizza, Reardo 44, sblack
Interchange - The Lions Den, Lionsman

Just trying to remember who posted the most last season, feel free to suggest any changes, I'm not captain, just trying to help.:eek:
 
You should have some sort of leadership role as I'd prefer not to end up de facto captain yet again.
 
I suggest Brad Boyd as captain, wait wut?
 

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