Oppo Camp If it aint Cloke, don't fix it. (Collingwood Banter Thread)

[Lord Nicholson]

I heard Ed last week talking about how the CFC were going to make "the next six weeks" as enjoyable as possible for "Taz"

Just curious as to what sort of activities week 5 and week 6 of that block will entail? Collingwood supporters, help me out here.

 

[windyhill]

Hahaha, love it.
Still one clear filth, and I know first hand how this drives fatboy mcguire mad.

 

[Ron]

Hopefully it involves something along the lines of tying up Cloke and Dawes and slinging shit at them.


Well that would make me pretty happy.

 

[fishardansin]

This banter thread will be an emotional cripple fight!!

 

[The Speaker]

bla bla blanter

there's no fun in bantering when you know you will lose

or when it's changeable

or when you know you will win

 

[The Prosecutor]

Yeah, this banter thread was really good for the long, arduous pre-season months.

It's just not as appealing anymore, especially in our current predicament.

 

[Lord Nicholson]

We could do the Charlie Brown-walk all around the forum.

Or we could try and extract what little entertainment is possible out of the one week left in our season. People can take it or leave it as they choose, though.

 

[Doss]

Apart from jokes about toofless centrelink bogans, I don't even have much to say against the Pies. Kinda respect them.

Although...

16 > 15

 

[Duckworth]

I hope Cloke stays a Pie. Their midfield is dangerous, he takes away the pointy end of a very good side.

 

[Oh Tayteridge]

Cloke's dropping $100,000 every shit week he puts in. We'll have him down to 0 after this.

You stupid ****wits deserve each other.

 

[Essendonia]

Collingwood in its worst form slump for two years. Fallen out of the 4, troubling times for the filth.

Bombers to condemn them to an elim final against freo, who just ripped norf a new one - without Pav. Pies have two matches left for the year

 

[lamaros]

Collingwood in its worst form slump for two years. Fallen out of the 4, troubling times for the filth.

Bombers to condemn them to an elim final against freo, who just ripped norf a new one - without Pav. Pies have two matches left for the year

If we get Howlett, Fletcher, and Ryder we will beat them for sure. Stanton and Zaharakis with a bit of a run, a ruckman who can actually tap to advantage, a defender who makes the other defenders stand in the right spot.

Would be hilarious if we caused them to finish 5th or 6th. That and Carlton losing to GC would dull the pain of our last few weeks.

 

[cAsEy_18]

Oi Collingwood, you play...you play...you don't play real good.

Mighty Ducks 2 reference. It's all I got

 

[Essendonia]

If we get Howlett, Fletcher, and Ryder we will beat them for sure. Stanton and Zaharakis with a bit of a run, a ruckman who can actually tap to advantage, a defender who makes the other defenders stand in the right spot.

Would be hilarious if we caused them to finish 5th or 6th. That and Carlton losing to GC would dull the pain of our last few weeks.

If we're not playing finals, why not poop the party for those who are? In any case, it's our duty to preserve our 16, and cast a spanner into Collingwood works, even at this late stage and ruin their run into the finals and the (steadily diminishing) chance that they will win another flag.

Do we know if Jolly will be back? Could be pivotal. Ryder is done for the season, though, isn't he?

 

[Doss]

No Collingwood supporter has even contributed to this yet.

#threadisafizzer

 

[Lord Nicholson]

No Collingwood supporter has even contributed to this yet.

Not true.

In any case, bemoaning a lack of opposition supporters on the board is a new one.

 

[Jade]

That's all I can muster right now.

 

[Doss]

Not true.

In any case, bemoaning a lack of opposition supporters on the board is a new one.

Oops, missed the post by Ron.

And as for your second point...uh, desperate times call for desperate measures. Or desperate wishes.

 

[Synth]

With footy done for the year I think we would be better off with a Paul Collingwood banter thread.

**** you England.

 

[bombermick]

The only highlight of this match will be laughing at Wood copping another belting.

 

[Lord Nicholson]

We must attend the 'G en masse on Saturday night and make things as difficult as possible for the Bogan Horde.

If you're buying some sort of footstuff or cool beverage, please make sure that you use a card, and please make sure that you use the wrong card first if needs be. Occasionally get the pin wrong a couple of times as well for good measure.

If you're using a urinal, stand with your feet spread as far apart as is humanly possible and take up as much space as you can. Complement this with horizontal pelvic movement.

If you're using the crapper, exhaust the toilet paper and refrain from flushing. If you've got something left in the tank make sure you piddle all over the seat. I can only assume this is considered acceptable behaviour based on the few times I have absolutely had to use the crapper at a football venue.

Make sure you kick the seat in front of you, but disguise it as being a tick.

Talk loudly about things that have nothing to do with the football. I recommend topics such as the merits of Kazuo Ishiguro's writing, or why Tom Johnston-period Doobie Brothers is so much better than Michael McDonald-period Doobie Brothers.

Wait until a Collingwood player is lining up for goal to stand up and awkwardly shuffle out of the row. Ideally block a Collingwood supporters view as the kick is taken.

Bring a flag and wave it while sitting down. A big inflatable hand is an acceptable substitute.

 

[bombermick]

We must attend the 'G en masse on Saturday night and make things as difficult as possible for the Bogan Horde.

If you're buying some sort of footstuff or cool beverage, please make sure that you use a card, and please make sure that you use the wrong card first if needs be. Occasionally get the pin wrong a couple of times as well for good measure.

If you're using a urinal, stand with your feet spread as far apart as is humanly possible and take up as much space as you can. Complement this with horizontal pelvic movement.

If you're using the crapper, exhaust the toilet paper and refrain from flushing. If you've got something left in the tank make sure you piddle all over the seat. I can only assume this is considered acceptable behaviour based on the few times I have absolutely had to use the crapper at a football venue.

Make sure you kick the seat in front of you, but disguise it as being a tick.

Talk loudly about things that have nothing to do with the football. I recommend topics such as the merits of Kazuo Ishiguro's writing, or why Tom Johnston-period Doobie Brothers is so much better than Michael McDonald-period Doobie Brothers.

Wait until a Collingwood player is lining up for goal to stand up and awkwardly shuffle out for goal. Ideally block a Collingwood supporters view as the kick is taken.

Bring a flag and wave it while sitting down. A big inflatable hand is an acceptable substitute.

Classic.

 

[Doss]

We must attend the 'G en masse on Saturday night and make things as difficult as possible for the Bogan Horde.

If you're buying some sort of footstuff or cool beverage, please make sure that you use a card, and please make sure that you use the wrong card first if needs be. Occasionally get the pin wrong a couple of times as well for good measure.

If you're using a urinal, stand with your feet spread as far apart as is humanly possible and take up as much space as you can. Complement this with horizontal pelvic movement.

If you're using the crapper, exhaust the toilet paper and refrain from flushing. If you've got something left in the tank make sure you piddle all over the seat. I can only assume this is considered acceptable behaviour based on the few times I have absolutely had to use the crapper at a football venue.

Make sure you kick the seat in front of you, but disguise it as being a tick.

Talk loudly about things that have nothing to do with the football. I recommend topics such as the merits of Kazuo Ishiguro's writing, or why Tom Johnston-period Doobie Brothers is so much better than Michael McDonald-period Doobie Brothers.

Wait until a Collingwood player is lining up for goal to stand up and awkwardly shuffle out of the row. Ideally block a Collingwood supporters view as the kick is taken.

Bring a flag and wave it while sitting down. A big inflatable hand is an acceptable substitute.

Solid gold.

 

[Howard Moon]

We must attend the 'G en masse on Saturday night and make things as difficult as possible for the Bogan Horde.

If you're buying some sort of footstuff or cool beverage, please make sure that you use a card, and please make sure that you use the wrong card first if needs be. Occasionally get the pin wrong a couple of times as well for good measure.

If you're using a urinal, stand with your feet spread as far apart as is humanly possible and take up as much space as you can. Complement this with horizontal pelvic movement.

If you're using the crapper, exhaust the toilet paper and refrain from flushing. If you've got something left in the tank make sure you piddle all over the seat. I can only assume this is considered acceptable behaviour based on the few times I have absolutely had to use the crapper at a football venue.

Make sure you kick the seat in front of you, but disguise it as being a tick.

Talk loudly about things that have nothing to do with the football. I recommend topics such as the merits of Kazuo Ishiguro's writing, or why Tom Johnston-period Doobie Brothers is so much better than Michael McDonald-period Doobie Brothers.

Wait until a Collingwood player is lining up for goal to stand up and awkwardly shuffle out of the row. Ideally block a Collingwood supporters view as the kick is taken.

Bring a flag and wave it while sitting down. A big inflatable hand is an acceptable substitute.

do most of these anyway.....

 

[Essendonia]

Quality post.

I appreciate the post.