Roast 6 from 17. Despite Momentum We are REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY s**t - Warning includes club criticisms

[Scorpus]

I'm puzzled as to how this club has such a successful women's team

 

[jackster83]

I'm puzzled as to how this club has such a successful women's team

The Simpson gene.

 

[Bearded Clam]

ROB
Crouch
Laird
Keays
V
Gawn
Oliver
Petracca
Brayshaw

Yikes

It’s scary isn’t it..

oh…. but, but, but… DE!… DE!…

“look at the Disposal Efficiency!!.. laird and Benny’s DE% is around the same as Oliver and Petracca’s!” the Laird and Keays apologists loudly squeal…

Aaaahhh…. The delusions of some of our supporters..

Disposal efficiency bullshit stats or not, Rory and Ben arent even in the same stratosphere as Clayton and Christian..

 

[ABAB]

Tell me who hurt you

Elite Crow did.

 

[Bearded Clam]

we are as Shit as they come..

possibly worst in the league.. definitely the worst midfield in the league.

if todays game against the comps current worst side (who have been decimated by injuries mind you) was played in WA we would‘ve lost.

cant see how we will beat North.. especially given its at Blunstone.. where we have a horrid record.

only positive is it is many of our older guys that are letting us down the most.. the laird, keays, smith, crouch types..

many of our younger players are starting to look the part and have better skills and use the footy better than these old spuds.. the Soligo’s, Berry’s, Parnells, hately’s..

need to bring in newchurch, worrell and Nankervis.

mchenry and Rowe are a worry.

murphy is one of the worst small forwards in the history of the comp. 1 goal all season!.. that has to be a record surely. been saying for weeks he either plays in the middle or not at all.

 

[Skippos]

Yes, we are. Here's a very surface level blueprint for how to get out of it.

Delist: Himmelberg, Davis, Frampton, Borlase, Newchurch, Turner (barring something unexpected), Newchurch
Re-sign: Parnell, Tex, Rowe, Hinge & Nankervis to ONE year deals
Extend: Butts (2-3 years), Doedee (whatever it takes)
Retire: Seedsman
Consider: Gollant
Place up for trade, sell to any bidder for no fee who will absorb contract: McPherson, Murphy, Brown, Crouch
If no bidders, pay the contract out of Crouch and one of Murphy/McPherson. Keep Brown for 'mentoring' and retire him end '23
Enter 2023 with Sloane (retire?), Tex, Brown?, Strachan, McAdam, Rowe, Fogarty, Hinge as more senior heads out of contract & Nankervis, Taylor, Parnell, Worrell, Schoenberg, Hately, McAsey, Murray as whipper snappers out of contract. There won't be space for them all. They know it.

Move Laird back to the backline. He's fine there. He steels it up. Into the middle if injuries require, but he's not the man anymore.
Crouch won't be playing football for us, or if he is, in the magoos.
Keays to lead the onball brigade, definitely Berry & hopefully Hately supplementing, with 2 spots left open for kids to aspire to. Schoenberg if he gets his act together, Pedlar and Soligo hopefully. Maybe Taylor.
Take 4-5 draft picks, minimum. Best available at all costs provided that if they're a sub 6'1 midfielder, they're either a bloody good user or nippy as ****.
Aggressively target out of contract players to supplement the list. Some targets would be

• Liam Stocker @ Carlton. As aggressive, tenacious and fierce a player as I've seen. He makes players HURT. He's not a great backman, it's not his jam, but he's been forced there by Carlton because their mids run deep. As a back, he's still an upgrade on what we've got, but this is a kid who plays a crazy aggressive brand of football and won the morrish medal as an u/18 doing it. I reckon he'd be a great fit in our midfield.
• Aaron Francis @ Adelaide. He's a stop gap, but I believe if released to play as a 4th defender he can be a stronger player than we've seen. Likely to be free. Worth the punt given the state of our list & his upside.
• Tanner Bruhn @ GWS. This one is a hit in hope. He was that upset to be drafted to GWS I suspect if he goes it's to Victoria. But who knows, money talks. He won't fit into their midfield, but he's what's missing from ours. Super agile, evasive, good burst, lateral movement, creates space, plays the game at a frenetic intensity, creative ball user. A good midget.
• Tyler Brockman @ Hawthorn. Seems out of favour and uncontracted. But feels like he'd add some freakishness to our vanilla forward mix.
• Toby Bedford @ Melbourne. See above for Brockman. Kid looks like he's got too much impact forward of centre to waste his career as a lifelong sub.
• Angus Brayshaw @ Melbourne. This is the one. This is who we should be throwing 900k at. I don't care if it's overs. He's 26, so he'll get us through the next 4-5 years while the young kids grow but as that 28-32 core age out of the system. He's a terrific half back/defensive winger who probably does more team-first actions than any player in the league and knows how to win. Valuable wisdom from an elite setup to teach our lads. But he's finished top 3 in a brownlow as an inside mid. So get him in and play him there. He's won a flag, cash might talk.

 

[BRL121]

Yes, we are. Here's a very surface level blueprint for how to get out of it.

Delist: Himmelberg, Davis, Frampton, Borlase, Newchurch, Turner (barring something unexpected), Newchurch
Re-sign: Parnell, Tex, Rowe, Hinge & Nankervis to ONE year deals
Extend: Butts (2-3 years), Doedee (whatever it takes)
Retire: Seedsman
Consider: Gollant
Place up for trade, sell to any bidder for no fee who will absorb contract: McPherson, Murphy, Brown, Crouch
If no bidders, pay the contract out of Crouch and one of Murphy/McPherson. Keep Brown for 'mentoring' and retire him end '23
Enter 2023 with Sloane (retire?), Tex, Brown?, Strachan, McAdam, Rowe, Fogarty, Hinge as more senior heads out of contract & Nankervis, Taylor, Parnell, Worrell, Schoenberg, Hately, McAsey, Murray as whipper snappers out of contract. There won't be space for them all. They know it.

Move Laird back to the backline. He's fine there. He steels it up. Into the middle if injuries require, but he's not the man anymore.
Crouch won't be playing football for us, or if he is, in the magoos.
Keays to lead the onball brigade, definitely Berry & hopefully Hately supplementing, with 2 spots left open for kids to aspire to. Schoenberg if he gets his act together, Pedlar and Soligo hopefully. Maybe Taylor.
Take 4-5 draft picks, minimum. Best available at all costs provided that if they're a sub 6'1 midfielder, they're either a bloody good user or nippy as duck.
Aggressively target out of contract players to supplement the list. Some targets would be

• Liam Stocker @ Carlton. As aggressive, tenacious and fierce a player as I've seen. He makes players HURT. He's not a great backman, it's not his jam, but he's been forced there by Carlton because their mids run deep. As a back, he's still an upgrade on what we've got, but this is a kid who plays a crazy aggressive brand of football and won the morrish medal as an u/18 doing it. I reckon he'd be a great fit in our midfield.
• Aaron Francis @ Adelaide. He's a stop gap, but I believe if released to play as a 4th defender he can be a stronger player than we've seen. Likely to be free. Worth the punt given the state of our list & his upside.
• Tanner Bruhn @ GWS. This one is a hit in hope. He was that upset to be drafted to GWS I suspect if he goes it's to Victoria. But who knows, money talks. He won't fit into their midfield, but he's what's missing from ours. Super agile, evasive, good burst, lateral movement, creates space, plays the game at a frenetic intensity, creative ball user. A good midget.
• Tyler Brockman @ Hawthorn. Seems out of favour and uncontracted. But feels like he'd add some freakishness to our vanilla forward mix.
• Toby Bedford @ Melbourne. See above for Brockman. Kid looks like he's got too much impact forward of centre to waste his career as a lifelong sub.
• Angus Brayshaw @ Melbourne. This is the one. This is who we should be throwing 900k at. I don't care if it's overs. He's 26, so he'll get us through the next 4-5 years while the young kids grow but as that 28-32 core age out of the system. He's a terrific half back/defensive winger who probably does more team-first actions than any player in the league and knows how to win. Valuable wisdom from an elite setup to teach our lads. But he's finished top 3 in a brownlow as an inside mid. So get him in and play him there. He's won a flag, cash might talk.

Agree strongly we should target Brayshaw. He had another fine game tonight. On the other hand, Dunkley showed nothing at all to suggest we should target him.

 

[Sanders]

I'm puzzled as to how this club has such a successful women's team

Low levels of competition

 

[Skippos]

Agree strongly we should target Brayshaw. He had another fine game tonight. On the other hand, Dunkley showed nothing at all to suggest we should target him.

Dunkley is a terrific player (and one game doesn't change that, especially one playing half forward in a more defensive role) but he's pretty similar to Keays, right? Better, but similar. Very good defensively, works hard, good ball winner. Lacks polish. Probably not for us, anyway.

 

[Gtowncrow]

Agree strongly we should target Brayshaw. He had another fine game tonight. On the other hand, Dunkley showed nothing at all to suggest we should target him.

Either would make welcome inclusions to our team.

Agree about Brayshaw into our midfield. Melbourne midfield is pretty "stacked".

 

[rocket18]

While supporters keep blindly paying to watch this horrendous club wallow in it's own mediocrity you are going to keep getting coaches like Nicks, football directors like Riccuito, recruiters like Ogilvie and starting midfields with players like Keays/Laird/Crouch.

Cherish the 97/98 premierships because this club will never be a powerhouse in this competition or at least not until the supporters demand a better club.

Is there a date set when we get control of the club from the AFL? Was it 2028?

Until that happens and we change our constitution so we can vote for the whole board I fear nothing will change.

 

[MRB37]

Low levels of competition

Also Hamish doesn't recruit their players.

 

[MarcusP2]

I'm puzzled as to how this club has such a successful women's team

Hatchard and Marinoff are the equivalent of Oliver and Petracca, that's why.

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[Twist_of_Lemon]

Delist: Himmelberg, Davis, Frampton, Borlase, Newchurch, Turner (barring something unexpected), Newchurch

Bit rough delisting him twice.

 

[George Kramer]

Ok now that I’ve had time to reflect, we are still SHIT.

I can’t fathom how bad our drafting has been been. First rounders butchered. This rebuild will take years longer because Hamish has been in charge. Our small forwards are crap besides Rachelle and really he shouldn’t be one for long.

Drafted mids like Jones and McHenry are a bust.

Then on to the coaches, the mids we have which look promising can’t get a look in ahead of hackers Crouch, Keays and Laird. Soligo looks like he could be a gun mid, Hately starting to look like an afl footballer and Berry has something. Give them midfield minutes you idiots.

We’ve talked about Laird going back to defence but that would stunt development of other defenders we have. I’d actually put him up forward, can kick a goal and is a good tackler and would apply pressure.

But none of that takes away from Nicks being a dud. I can’t stand listening to him speak these days. Some journo needs to put the blow torch on him and his selections.

 

[davos44]

I know there’s a review of the game where it says similar things but it’s more than that, we are SHIT.

Shit drafting that’s led to small forwards of McHenry (1st rd pick), Murphy and Rowe (2 picks).

Shit drafting that’s led to mids who can’t kick, leading us to draft a 25 year old sanfl player because he can.

Shit drafting blowing numerous first rounders.

Shit coaching and selections which thinks Crouch, Laird and Keays is a good midfield. All we are missing is Sloane.

Shit coaching that has our best mid and kick playing deep defence against a rabble of a team.

Shit coaching that despite being 5 goals up against a rabble of a team played defensive in the last and played 2 spares back so we had no forwards.

In life you get what you deserve and we deserve Nicks and Ogilvie because we are a shit club.

I think you are under the impression AFL is a game of linear and step by step progress toward a premiership like a real life game of AFL Manager 2022.

Crouch, Laird and Keays are our best options. There isnt anyone else. You want Hately, Soligo and Parnell in there against Gaff, Shuey and Kelly with about a 500+ game gap in experience?

We aren't going to be playing finals for at least 2 more years and our premiership window is going to be 2027 onward when a whole heap of 19-21 years old we have now are 25+ and 100+ games into their career.

Get a grip and be patient, yes we are shit but being "pretty good" in a lot of the 2000s did absolutely nothing for us.

I think the week off will do a lot of good for us and you.

 

[1970crow]

I think you are under the impression AFL is a game of linear and step by step progress toward a premiership like a real life game of AFL Manager 2022.

Crouch, Laird and Keays are our best options. There isnt anyone else. You want Hately, Soligo and Parnell in there against Gaff, Shuey and Kelly with about a 500+ game gap in experience?

We aren't going to be playing finals for at least 2 more years and our premiership window is going to be 2027 onward when a whole heap of 19-21 years old we have now are 25+ and 100+ games into their career.

Get a grip and be patient, yes we are shit but being "pretty good" in a lot of the 2000s did absolutely nothing for us.

I think the week off will do a lot of good for us and you.

we've finished the rebuild and we're not even getting to "pretty good". If we're not looking to improve that midfield you don't need to know any more. And that you prefer Crouch over Hately at the moment shows that you have NFI.

 

[kirky]

Maybe the review should have looked closer at our recruiting.

Six weeks after it concluded, we went and pissed away pick 6 on McAsey.

AFL draft is littered with bad selections and by all clubs. We ain’t an orphan in that regard.

What we do need is to become better at it.

 

[George Kramer]

I think you are under the impression AFL is a game of linear and step by step progress toward a premiership like a real life game of AFL Manager 2022.

Crouch, Laird and Keays are our best options. There isnt anyone else. You want Hately, Soligo and Parnell in there against Gaff, Shuey and Kelly with about a 500+ game gap in experience?

We aren't going to be playing finals for at least 2 more years and our premiership window is going to be 2027 onward when a whole heap of 19-21 years old we have now are 25+ and 100+ games into their career.

Get a grip and be patient, yes we are shit but being "pretty good" in a lot of the 2000s did absolutely nothing for us.

I think the week off will do a lot of good for us and you.

AFL isn’t linear is just a bullshit excuse and ignores our poor drafting.

And I don’t think anyones has suggested swapping all 3 at once, but we rotated no one through our midfield, we consistently have the lowest CBAs. How do you develop a midfield if they don’t get midfield minutes? Our midfield clearly needs improvement given the deficiencies of our midfield. Crouch for starters should be out and younger midfielders developed.

As for the week off doing me good, it will, I won’t have to watch our shitshow, that will be delayed for a week when Gold Coast touch us up.

 

[George Kramer]

AFL draft is littered with bad selections and by all clubs. We ain’t an orphan in that regard.

What we do need is to become better at it.

So many first rounders blown? Not by the good teams which we are striving to become.

 

[George Kramer]

I’d like for those who disagreed we aren’t shit to counter these issues and not with linear bullshit arguments.

Our drafting, in particular first rounders.
Our small forwards.
Our midfield.
Our team selection.
Our use of Dawson deep in defence.

 

[kirky]

So many first rounders blown? Not by the good teams which we are striving to become.

Yeh - now I’ve had a decent look, we have ****ed up royally from 2016 to 2019 with our no 1 picks and I’ll even throw in 2015 with Wayne Milera.

And with regard to 2020, it ain’t looking promising at this stage either.

 

[1970crow]

I’d like for those who disagreed we aren’t shit to counter these issues and not with linear bullshit arguments.

Our drafting, in particular first rounders.
Our small forwards.
Our midfield.
Our team selection.
Our use of Dawson deep in defence.

how many games do you reckon ROB can cruise for off the back of last week? Historically 1 good game lasts about 2 months for experienced players and I don't think Nix is any different to what came before.

 

[jenny61_99]

I agree. As supporters, you are shit. Am I doing it right?

 

[thebirdman 24]

I agree. As supporters, you are shit. Am I doing it right?

Supporters being angry shows they care at least. You should worry about the ones that dissapear, cancel their memberships, stop engaging on social media or forums.

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