Event The slightly/mostly delayed Season 38 Beez Trophy Night - Thursday 23/1 from 3PM

[DemurePrincess]

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Oh! This is awkward. Would never have taken you for an arseh*le but true colours often shine through when the tarnish is rubbed off

 

[Robertio]

Oh! This is awkward. Would never have taken you for an arseh*le but true colours often shine through when the tarnish is rubbed off

The end of a great romance

 

[DemurePrincess]

The end of a great romance

You started it with the eye rolling

 

[Irish BlueBagger]

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…can I just put you on hold for a minute? Someone’s at the door…

* Greensleeves starts playing *

Haha, suckers!

Hi all, qricketing all-rounder Toner Bob here with the 10th running of the Le Grille-gym4life Award. I need the be quick as I’m not sure how long my colleagues will put up with hold music for.

The Le Grille-gym4life Award began as a fever dream from the mind of NaturalDisaster back in season 27 with the purpose of giving to those who wouldn’t normally be on the receiving end of anything like awards, or recognition, or any attention whatsoever. For this is the award given to the ungiveable. To quote from the eligibility criteria: “It's the award for people to both have a match thread posting average at least 25 per week and have received zero points from the beez voting community.”

It's named after two SFA posters of yore who were experts at talking into the void – Le Grille who went voteless in season 23 despite averaging more than 100 posts a week and gym4life who had zero votes in season 26 despite having an active season.

The inaugural winner was cooney in season 27, nobody was crap enough in season 28 to give it to, season 29 saw it shelved before the shelf fell the following season like a pinata, spreading joy across Sweet for each season since after some percussive encouragement. The winners from season 30 onwards have been Matt_352, Cap, Rioli8217, CatToTheFuture, Soggy2112, kickthething, dogs105 and finally Tadpole last season.

This is all well and good, but surely there's something in it for the winners apart from niche online infamy? Well sure there is, it wouldn't be a shonky online award without a shonky online trophy. And the winner of the Le Grille-gym4life Award picks up an absolute stonker - The Golden Shittruck!

Don’t know if the quality was up or the quantity was down, but only one person qualified in season 38 for the Le Grille-gym4life. Before I get to them though, honourable mentions need to go to three people on the Le Grille-gym4life Watch List for posting between 20-25 times a week on average without troubling the voters. They are _Mike_ (22.81 PPW), Elmer_Hauser (20.56) & p4p1 (20.31). Better luck next season!

But in the words of the seminal Hibernian sci-fi classic Highlander, there can be only one. Which is fortuitous because there was only one. And that one, with 44.94 posts per week, is Ophidian camel wrangler kenneyswarriors! Mazel tov kenney, here's your miniature novelty Golden Shittruck trophy!

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Wonderful we won the season 37 premiership and the Golden Shit Truck trophy is now nicely secured in the Spotswood trophy cabinet as well. Congrats kenneyswarriors i knew all those camel pictures would reap the ultimate reward in the end.

 

[Robertio]

You started it with the eye rolling

 

[Irish BlueBagger]

Congrats to all the other OOBs who won awards as well. We might need to get an extension for that trophy cabinet i think at this stage.

 

[DemurePrincess]

Congrats to all the other OOBs who won awards as well. We might need to get an extension for that trophy cabinet i think at this stage.

 

[Braklet]

LOL Robertio

 

[Irish BlueBagger]

You do have the wooden spoon though.

 

[DemurePrincess]

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LOL Robertio

 

[Wosh]

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Capping of a huge season at 11


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And now we turn to tgrs

What can be said about the legend that Wosh is that hasn't already been said a million times.

Recruited to Coney Island Warriors in Season 20 and instantly establishing herself as a force to be reckoned with by claiming the coveted EKA medal, it was only three years into her career that she was running the Warriors as the figurehead for one of the most stacked lists in recent(ish) memory.

After a quick detour to the retirement home and a premiership with the Roys, Wosh joined the Mt. Buller Demons in Season 35 and immediately the club benefited from the wealth of experience, the domination of match threads and the instinctive leadership that Wosh manages to juggle with ease, and with remarkable consistency as shown by the 8 Top 20 placements in this very prestigious award.

67 Games later, always willing to fill holes all over the ground wherever the team needs her the most, Wosh was a vital cog in the league best engine room in Season 38, finishing 11th in total disposals, 6th in handballs and snagged 11 majors from the center of the ground as the Demons were head and shoulders above the rest of the league for most of the season, and ultimately just missed out on Grand Final day appearance.

Where Wosh shines most however, besides the invaluable presence as a teammate, and the league wide penchant for solving problems which she hones in the depths of hell as an admin of this godforsaken site, is her natural talent for getting everyone involved in match threads, both her team and the opposition which is a rare talent. The Sweet F.A would be much poorer without Wosh, congratulations on a well deserved (Whatever placement in the beez Wosh gets).

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Thanks Filthy, better late than never! (You not me)

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And here we come to the winner. I can't say I know much of his work but there is nothing like an underdog story. Congratulations my friend.


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And a huge thank you to FootyGuy13 for his efforts to come.

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Firstly, I would like to thank Filthy for giving me this chance to be first to congratulate Bob on this achievement.

Problem is that Filthy has forgotten to tell me where Bob has finished in the Season 38 beez voting.

So I'm gonna do the following and assume that Bob has once again ended up in top spot and won the beez medal for the 3rd time. I'm sure this will go down as well as an attempt to sing Swedish at a karaoke bar.



In Season 36, Tonga Bob did something that only 3 other people had done prior to him in this league, Bob won his second beez medal. This had already put him high in the echolon of posters that have come and gone or stayed in the city of Sweet. However comma, Bob clearly hasn't stopped at just winning 2 beez medals considering how much work Bob has done in Season 38.

First, it was all the effort he put into celebrating a TIF game milestone that hardly anyone outside the Warriors cared about- wait what?

Okay, what about the thread celebrating Filthy's game milestone that hardly anyone outside the Warriors cared abou...

Well you also had the thread celebrating a FG13 game milestone that hardly anyone outside the Warriors cared about- oh come on!

What about Coney Island's new recruits for the season? His work showing which team is liked the most by counting every free kick? Surely people outside the Warriors club cared about his Quinness Book of World Records?

Okay, okay, there was the Confession Box, there was the ever popular McInnes Prize and there was his trip through Sweet visting the culinary delights of each stadium. All of this before mentioning that Bob is still the captain of one of if not the best posting units in all of Sweet.


What I'm trying to say is that Bob deserves this win, even if no one wants to show their appreciation for what Bob brings to the league during the season. He has been an inspiration to us all from the very first season he showed up in Sweet and it's downright criminal that this is only shown during award season. Congratulations on becoming the first person in Sweet to have 3 beez medals (which means we have to see if Bob can win a 4th in Season 39) and hopefully people outside of Van Cortlandt will at least care about this milestone.

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Huge congrats again Tonga Bob Voted the most valuable player here by your peers is a huge honour let alone several times! (Sorry I lost count)
Have another great season and see you in the prelim

The Filth Wizard this was a very funny joke, can we see the real top 20 now?

Mr Happy robbed again!