Radio The SEN Thread 10

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[beez]

I'm sure the newsreader's epic fail will get a run on Off The Bench on Saturday morning, looking forward to hearing it.

10

 

[Lapp_46]

Love Off The Bench...gotta be one of the best shows on the station.

Have seen some classic stuff on their facebook page www.facebook.com/offthebenchteam too during the week which is always good.

Looks like they're broadcasting from the Parkview Hotel on sat morning so might head down with the kids and say g'day

 

[bradrowe#32]

I'm sure the newsreader's epic fail will get a run on Off The Bench on Saturday morning, looking forward to hearing it.

10

What happened?

 

[Registered User]

^ see post #318

 

[Lapp_46]

the grab is on the off the bench facebook page. See the link above. It's absolutely classic

 

[beez]

the grab is on the off the bench facebook page. See the link above. It's absolutely classic

Thanks for the tip, that was hilarious. I'm guessing it would've been 10 times better listening to it live.

 

[montybrasco]

Hungry for your Favourite Buzz​

Hawthorn does not have to seek legal advice regarding the suspension of Brendan Whitecross, all it has to do is find someone with common sense and take the case to the tribunal. Whitecross surely will be exonerated. After going to ground and scrambling to his feet the Hawks midfielder was met by a human missile in the shape of Joel Selwood. Selwood surely initiated contact. Whitecross never moved his feet once he regained his balance. In a self-preservation reflex action he did turn his shoulder. What sane person wouldn’t when a cannon ball is about to ram into you? I rest my case.
I’m KB, that’s my Take

A pretty uninspiring Take to start the show is met with agreement by the equally uninspiring man still in search of an “h,” Jon LeBaron-Ralph. The Whitecross incident is dissected in every way possible and dominates the first half of the show. … KB loves saying “cannonball.” … Straight to talkback for Selwood haters and Hawks fans to express their fair and balanced one-eyed opinion as always. KB now loves saying “intersections.” …

Prediction Alert
JLR seemingly has seen enough in 2012 to see the Dees going 0-10 to start the season. He’s talking fast and furiously this morning. “I mean you look at the run: St. Kilda, Geelong, Hawthorn, Sydney away, Carlton, Essendon, and Collingwood.” … “Look I just can’t see them winning games in the next fortnight because of the confidence being so low; because of the transition into the game plan. What happens if they’re zero and ten?”

The hump day duo agree something isn’t right with the Mifsud malarkey now presented by the AFL and KB references the Putz Smith article suggesting Mifsud can remember word for word the conversation with Matt Rendell but his brain and mind is absolutely scrambled with the conversation he had with Aaron Davey. JLR wants more about this story before a resolution can be agreed on. KB gets the feeling someone is not telling the truth. Huge call there by KB.

When the great KB gets on a hobby horse he never, never, ever, gets off it. After slicing, dicing, and gutting the Whitecross incident, KB moves to his dislike of the digital pass required for The Herald Sun’s footy articles.

KB to JLR: Also I just want to say to our listeners, you don’t have to actually pay for The Buzz, The Tackle, or Mick’s Grill because on this program we’ll get it for nothing because I’m gonna ask you to tell us what is happening as far as The Buzz, The Tackle, and Mick’s Grill is, and then we’ll decide whether or not those stories are interesting on this program.

KB plays the Media Watch audio again and in a real shocker Jonny doubts that people will conceive the AFL having credibility in really whacking their own issues. After letting the writer of The Buzz blather way negatively on the AFL media department subject, KB reminds his sidekick that the department has forty journos and a staff of one hundred and fifty and “you will be able to access it for free, where if you want to access The Buzz, and Mick’s Grill, and The Tackle it won’t be for free. “Well ours is quality writing,” says JLR who also makes some good points about what the AFL should be doing such as the type of documentaries done by Peter Dixon.

JLR: If people think that all the websites and their content will be free in the next twenty years they are kidding themselves so I think it’s a brave new world. We’re out there; we’re at the frontier hoping it works. It’s forty cents a day, KB. It’s less than some of those designer tea bags you have, KB.

The tea bag jibe could be a bad move by JLR as he attempts to segue to the contents of The Buzz only to be cut off by KB who has immediately lifted the timbre of his voice heading to a commercial break.

KB: And I also want to know what’s in The Tackle and Mick’s Grill. Then I want our listeners to give us a call to tell us whether or not it is of any interest to’um whatsoever or whether you’re just filling it up with rubbish.

The sound of a buzzing fly can only be an intro to a summary of The Buzz: JLR suggests Carlton’s probably got the best midfield in the competition and he has a club-by-club look at the most underrated players in the AFL. (The kind of stuff readily, and freely, available for dissection in spades on the Big Footy AFL board) He nominates Kade Simpson as the most underrated closely followed by Andrew Carrazzo. KB seems - as I suspected – still pissed at the previously attempted designer tea bag gag and thus has his own take on The Buzz.

KB: No, I’ve just looked through the Herald Sun here; I can’t find any story in the Herald Sun by Jonny [LeBaron-Ralph].
JLR: Well I had the day off, KB.

KB: What, so you’ve put this story in The Buzz? So it wasn’t good enough to go into the Herald Sun today?
JLR: It was good enough, KB, I think what you-

KB: Why didn’t it appear?
JLR: I think what you don’t realise is there is a limitation on space, KB, so look, [JLR flicks through pages while counting to 17] seventeen pages of sport we give you KB but it’s not unlimited. My thing might have taken up a double-page spread. We haven’t got that in a Wednesday paper, KB. So we give it to you over and above; we’re not sacrificing one single story that you used to have in but you get it for extra, KB. For forty cents a day.

KB: What we’re saying is if it couldn’t make the paper today, therefore it wasn’t ranked a good story?
JLR: No that’s not true, KB.

KB: It wasn’t ranked a good story.
JLR: It’s extra, KB.

JLR tries desperately to analogise his point with SEN’s digital station being an added extra “and if you’d like to pay for a seven day subscription because you love the paper that much, you basically get it for free.” KB succinctly fills JLR in on a little home truth about human nature: “People don’t wanna pay of anything.”

SMS: Gone to The Age; greedy Herald Sun, not happy with extra income for Internet adverts.
SMS: Why pay for a digital pass? I can’t even get all the articles I would get in the normal newspaper.
SMS: Two dollars-eighty per week; hundred and forty-five dollars per week per year. Goodbye Herald Sun.

LeBaron-Ralph continues his vapid argument as to why we’re so lucky to get all this product for $1.10 plus 40 cents for that premium product on the ‘Net which makes it “still cheaper than the other mob,” but the always ever polemical KB is having none of it and abruptly moves the discussion back to underrated players.

JLR reminds us again of The Buzz that is available with a digital pass and then names his top five underrated players:

1. Kade Simpson
JLR: runs harder than others; always going in the last qtr; kicks goals.
KB: Most underrated?

2. Alan Toovey
JLR: Ever see him lose a contest? Funny kicking style but hits targets all the time.
KB: The audience will be the judge of that.

3. Brent Stanton
JLR: Dons’ fans wrong; chisels pass 55-mtre passes; kicked bungers five years ago. Fans never say they got players wrong; and, “Jim from Hawthorn never does that.” (As in Jim never admits he got it wrong)
KB: Never had Dons’ fan ring up or SMS to say sorry for erroneous opinion on Stanton.

4. Stephen Gilham
KB: Hasn’t played for five years.
JLR: And how have they gone?

KB: Surely you put a player in who’s been playing.
JLR: I just think he’s so important, as full-back.

KB: Can’t be underrated if you’re not playing.
JLR: I think when he was playing he was underrated. “O.K., ya putting a line through that I can see that.”
KB: "I’m putting a line through that if that’s in The Buzz, put a line through that."
(Yes, you too can get this premium content from Jonny for just 40 cents a day!)

5. Rhyce Shaw
JLR: Regularly high in Swans B&F, bets clubman in 2011;
KB: [Doesn’t comment]

Back to talkback and the difficulty in getting women to read the newspaper … Caller Dale from Endeavour Hills with a magpie chirping in the background, nominates James Kelly as underrated … LeBaron-Ralph laments to KB he’s not where caller Dale is with the birds singing “rather than you haranguing me about the bloody Buzz.” … KB plays audio of Gillon McLachlan lamenting blowouts and being optimistic on where GCS is and peoples’ expectation of GCS having seven, eight, nine, ten wins this year. … “No-one in their right mind would’ve tipped Gold Coast to win seven, eight, or nine,” croaks KB. … When can the new teams win a flag is dissected by the duo?

The draw is on the late-in-the-hour menu with a typical clueless, misinformed, naïve callers starting with the two conferences like in the US football suggested by one chap who thinks it’s a bit outside the square, but- ... KB notes that has been suggested before and never got anywhere. Next Mensa member depicts how and why the AFL use the draw and why it should be taken out of their hands. “Forget about your blockbusters, it is a competition” says this pro sports expert in running a league with nine teams in one city. … Another brainstormer has a solution as to who should play whom, when and where on the ladder. … Another numbers bloke premises his statement with the “I’ve been in sports administration for twenty years so I’m not sort of a crackpotish sort of person” and then goes the play everybody once, leave the fixture scrambled for the last five games, top six play each other, bottom six play each other, and this, that and other. Mind numbing stuff that JLR sends to the trash can of utopian fairness ideas.

And it only gets more insane but yet this stuff can explain how Rudd, Gilliard, and Mick Malthouse favourite, the Marxist B.H. Obama actually got voted into office. Here’s Stevie from planet Warrnambool, the hub of pro sports, and he’s got “a simple solution to this.” Ya see it’s all about playing everybody for the same amount of points. If you play a club once, it’s for 8 premiership points and if you play them twice , each game is worth 4 premiership points, which somehow make it even. I simply couldn’t make that up. And from this perilous perch? We go downhill faster than the Dees.

Anthony from Craigieburn: Easy to do this fixture. My three-year-old daughter worked it out-
KB: Easy! Fire away.

Anthony from Craigieburn: Everybody gets everybody once. Last round of the fixture is all states playing themselves, i.e. West Coast/Freo, Adelaide teams, now we’ve got two Queensland teams, now we’ve got two Sydney, so no-one has to travel at all.
[silence]
KB: Yeeees, how’s that fix it?

Anthony from Craigieburn: Well everyone is complaining about having to travel the last week before finals.
KB: Oh, the last game, yeees, O.K., um, well we don’t know where people are playing yet do we? …

Ahhh, enter the Houdini, albeit belatedly for Anthony from Craigieburn as KB pre-empts the news by castigating JLR for the non-appearance of Mick’s Grill in that premium content on the HUN website which is apparently due to Michael Warner being in the West Indies where our alleged worst bowlers ever to tour the Windies took four overs before tea on day four to pour cold designer tea on the great KB.

P.S. KB also snuck in that he tipped nine winners this week as the world’s greatest tipster.

Really?

I think the Tigers can pinch the points.
-Kevin Bartlett, April 6, 2012

 

[bradrowe#32]

^ see post #318

Got it cheers. Brilliant.

 

[Registered User]

Yep, gold!
Here's the direct link to the audio
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLGfp1cRx9Q

[YOUTUBE]YLGfp1cRx9Q[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Suspense]

kb in great form this morning.

 

[jonesy86]

Yep, trolling for sport is great... so many morons get lured right in.

The highlight was saying Richmond are certainties and asking if they are still betting on the game.

 

[Selective Retention]

Owning the Carlton callers big time.

LOL'd at the comment about there being no betting on the Richmond and Melbourne game too.

 

[Selective Retention]

Ralph is such a moron.

Witts playing VFL reserves.

Collingwood has a standalone VFL team thus no VFL reserves side.

Do you need to know ANYTHING about football to be a journalist?

 

[jonesy86]

I swear the sen sports central guy just had trouble saying irreconcilable differences as well haha.

 

[montybrasco]

Hungry for Stirring the Blue Pot​

Carlton fans must be getting a little bit edgy. The moment of truth comes on Friday night. The chatter just hasn’t stopped. The Blues are a top four side and the flag’s a reality. That was before the season had even started. After two wins against Richmond and Brisbane the talk now is they’ve got the game’s best midfield, their defence has taken the next step, and the forward set-up with Waite and Hampson and co is lethal. Time for Carlton to put up or shut up against Collingwood, a team that has had their measure the last five times they’ve met. I get the feeling the more things change the more they stay the same. The Pies easily.
I’m KB, that’s my Take

 

[jinny1]

KB gets paid to troll

 

[Collingwood 4 eternity]

Teo gave you a mention Monty

1:43am Teo P , All Night Appetite

"Montybrasco is going to be writing about me"

Click

 

[SJ]

Owning the Carlton callers big time.

LOL'd at the comment about there being no betting on the Richmond and Melbourne game too.

He just trolls all morning now.

 

[oz1235]

Teo gave you a mention Monty

1:43am Teo P , All Night Appetite

"Montybrasco is going to be writing about me"

Click

Dear Teo,

Your a big headed tosser. You are not in the same league as KB you dead set idiot.

Thanks

Oz.


p.s There you go Teo I wrote something about you.

 

[bedford]

Why do they use ugly as a fill in for Harf.

 

[Flameboy]

Why do they use ugly as a fill in for Harf.

Meh ...him and Rita have been pretty entertaining today.

 

[bedford]

Rita is entertaining, but ugly is a try hard

 

[paul scholes]

Rita's about as entertaining as herpes!
Heard the "social commentator" banging on about the A-League.
When you have an agreement and pull the pin ( the Hunter sports group)
You should be held accountable, arrogantly thinking the sports their "little play thing" and moving on. Sticking up for crackpots like Palmer make the social commentator look a complete moron.

BTW the A- League is in turmoil, yet doesn't make it right when someone just flaunts an agreement and throws a club into chaos

 

[bedford]

The s-league is a joke, run by clowns and the sooner it falls over the better