Official Match Thread Season 37, Second Semi Final: Sin City Swamprats v Dragons FFC at the Underground Stadium

[big_icky]

I saw damicky at a grocery store in Alberton yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

I met philreich at a restaurant once - we’d accidentally been given his table. Apparently he was fond of the restaurant and had a specific table he liked, and the management had messed up and gotten their days wrong, (it was Tuesday and they thought he was coming on Thursday or something like that). Anyway, the manager, completely embarrassed (this is a pretty nice restaurant) comes by and says “I’m so sorry, but we’d like to move you to another table if you could be troubled, and we’ll gladly compensate you for the cost of the meal and any other meal you’d like while you’re in town.” Greenery and PhenomenalV1 were both like “Yeah that’s cool.” and I kind of played the a****** a bit. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. We’ve been here for 15 minutes - we’ve just ordered. Can’t we finish our meal here?” Then out of nowhere philreich shows up next to the manager and says “Paul, these guys can finish. We’ll be at the bar. I got some time.” And I (being a big dad jokes fan) said “Oh wow, uh… I had no idea. Please feel free to give them the table.” philreich was grateful, shook my hand and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and told me to give him a call later. After working up the nerve, I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short, we had a glorious 11 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as one, and from the beauty of Morocco, to the French Riviera, to the snorkeling in the Galopagos, philreich and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents.

 

[Blaze Storm]

Being done with the Gumbies for the season.

 

[T2B_]

I met philreich at a restaurant once - we’d accidentally been given his table. Apparently he was fond of the restaurant and had a specific table he liked, and the management had messed up and gotten their days wrong, (it was Tuesday and they thought he was coming on Thursday or something like that). Anyway, the manager, completely embarrassed (this is a pretty nice restaurant) comes by and says “I’m so sorry, but we’d like to move you to another table if you could be troubled, and we’ll gladly compensate you for the cost of the meal and any other meal you’d like while you’re in town.” Greenery and PhenomenalV1 were both like “Yeah that’s cool.” and I kind of played the a****** a bit. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. We’ve been here for 15 minutes - we’ve just ordered. Can’t we finish our meal here?” Then out of nowhere philreich shows up next to the manager and says “Paul, these guys can finish. We’ll be at the bar. I got some time.” And I (being a big dad jokes fan) said “Oh wow, uh… I had no idea. Please feel free to give them the table.” philreich was grateful, shook my hand and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and told me to give him a call later. After working up the nerve, I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short, we had a glorious 11 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as one, and from the beauty of Morocco, to the French Riviera, to the snorkeling in the Galopagos, philreich and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents.

Truly a better love story than Twilight

 

[serial_thrilla]

I met philreich at a restaurant once - we’d accidentally been given his table. Apparently he was fond of the restaurant and had a specific table he liked, and the management had messed up and gotten their days wrong, (it was Tuesday and they thought he was coming on Thursday or something like that). Anyway, the manager, completely embarrassed (this is a pretty nice restaurant) comes by and says “I’m so sorry, but we’d like to move you to another table if you could be troubled, and we’ll gladly compensate you for the cost of the meal and any other meal you’d like while you’re in town.” Greenery and PhenomenalV1 were both like “Yeah that’s cool.” and I kind of played the a****** a bit. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. We’ve been here for 15 minutes - we’ve just ordered. Can’t we finish our meal here?” Then out of nowhere philreich shows up next to the manager and says “Paul, these guys can finish. We’ll be at the bar. I got some time.” And I (being a big dad jokes fan) said “Oh wow, uh… I had no idea. Please feel free to give them the table.” philreich was grateful, shook my hand and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and told me to give him a call later. After working up the nerve, I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short, we had a glorious 11 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as one, and from the beauty of Morocco, to the French Riviera, to the snorkeling in the Galopagos, philreich and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents.

This reminded me of the time when Gavrilo Princip, a Bosnian Serb Yugoslav nationalist, assassinated the Austro-Hungarian heir Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo, leading to the July Crisis. In response, on 23 July Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia. Serbia’s reply failed to satisfy the Austrians, and the two moved to a war footing. A network of interlocking alliances enlarged the crisis from a bilateral issue in the Balkans to one involving most of Europe. By July 1914, the great powers of Europe were divided into two coalitions: the Triple Entente—consisting of France, Russia, and Britain—and the Triple Alliance of Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy (the Triple Alliance was only defensive in nature, allowing Italy to stay out of the war until April 1915, when it joined the Allied Powers after its relations with Austria-Hungary deteriorated). Russia felt it necessary to back Serbia and, after Austria-Hungary shelled the Serbian capital of Belgrade on the 28th, approved partial mobilisation. Full Russian mobilisation was announced on the evening of 30 July; on the 31st, Austria-Hungary and Germany did the same, while Germany demanded Russia demobilise within twelve hours. When Russia failed to comply, Germany declared war on Russia on 1 August in support of Austria-Hungary, with Austria-Hungary following suit on the 6th; France ordered full mobilisation in support of Russia on 2 August. German strategy for a war on two fronts against France and Russia was to rapidly concentrate the bulk of its army in the West to defeat France within six weeks, then shift forces to the East before Russia could fully mobilise; this was later known as the Schlieffen Plan. On 2 August, Germany demanded free passage through Belgium, an essential element in achieving a quick victory over France. When this was refused, German forces invaded Belgium on 3 August and declared war on France the same day; the Belgian government invoked the 1839 Treaty of London and in compliance with its obligations under this, Britain declared war on Germany on 4 August. On 12 August, Britain and France also declared war on Austria-Hungary; on the 23rd, Japan sided with Britain, seizing German possessions in China and the Pacific. In November 1914, the Ottoman Empire entered the war on the side of the Central Powers, opening fronts in the Caucasus, Mesopotamia, and the Sinai Peninsula. The war was fought in and drew upon each power’s colonial empire as well, spreading the conflict to Africa and across the globe. The Entente and its allies would eventually become known as the Allied Powers, while the grouping of Austria-Hungary, Germany and their allies would become known as the Central Powers. The German advance into France was halted at the Battle of the Marne and by the end of 1914, the Western Front settled into a battle of attrition, marked by a long series of trench lines that changed little until 1917 (the Eastern Front, by contrast, was marked by much greater exchanges of territory). In 1915, Italy joined the Allied Powers and opened a front in the Alps. Bulgaria joined the Central Powers in 1915 and Greece joined the Allies in 1917, expanding the war in the Balkans. The United States initially remained neutral, though even while neutral it became an important supplier of war materiel to the Allies. Eventually, after the sinking of American merchant ships by German submarines, the declaration by Germany that its navy would resume unrestricted attacks on neutral shipping, and the revelation that Germany was trying to incite Mexico to make war on the United States, the U.S. declared war on Germany on 6 April 1917. Trained American forces would not begin arriving at the front in large numbers until mid-1918, but ultimately the American Expeditionary Force would reach some two million troops. Though Serbia was defeated in 1915, and Romania joined the Allied Powers in 1916 only to be defeated in 1917, none of the great powers were knocked out of the war until 1918. The 1917 February Revolution in Russia replaced the Tsarist autocracy with the Provisional Government, but continuing discontent with the cost of the war led to the October Revolution, the creation of the Soviet Socialist Republic, and the signing of the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk by the new government in March 1918, ending Russia’s involvement in the war. This allowed the transfer of large numbers of German troops from the East to the Western Front, resulting in the German March 1918 Offensive. This offensive was initially successful, but failed to score a decisive victory and exhausted the last of the German reserves. The Allies rallied and drove the Germans back in their Hundred Days Offensive, a continual series of attacks to which the Germans had no reply. Bulgaria was the first Central Power to sign an armistice—the Armistice of Salonica on 29 September 1918. On 30 October, the Ottoman Empire capitulated, signing the Armistice of Mudros. On 4 November, the Austro-Hungarian empire agreed to the Armistice of Villa Giusti. With its allies defeated, revolution at home, and the military no longer willing to fight, Kaiser Wilhelm abdicated on 9 November and Germany signed an armistice on 11 November 1918, effectively ending the war.

 

[T2B_]

If the Swamprats try to start a fight on the qooty field this weekend? Here is what you do, my friends.

Bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare in their eyes. Bring up your hands and say "I don't want no trouble ya hear". Flex your traps and core. Slightly bend your knees.

Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume. They should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphincter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and appear visibly shaken.

Begin to piss and shit yourself and let your eyes roll to the back of your head. By now, you're chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs.

They will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying presence within their soul.

Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.

 

[Greenery]

After a long, hard day of work nothing beats an ice cold beer. Cool, refreshing, light. None of that fancy stuff, just a tall can of Miller. Mid-shelf beer. They have it at the corner store. I don't keep any in the house. If I have it I'll drink it. I'll drink too much. I don't want them to see me drinking too much. I still have pride. I put tape over my webcam so they don't see me at all, but I think they have cameras somewhere else in the house. They definitely have listening devices. My smoke detector is a microphone, pretty sure. It's wired into the house but still needs a battery. That's suspicious. It only seems to beep when I'm having a good day. I think they want me to always have bad days. I think they want me to drink too much. I'm not going to do it, though. I only buy one can at a time. I never grab the can from the front of the line. It may be poisoned. I always grab my can from further back. Maybe the second one, maybe the fourth one. Sometimes I ask for one from the back room. I trust the guy at the corner store. I don't think he's with them. Once I grabbed a beer from the front. I felt very sleepy after drinking that one. One moment I'm watching the television, next moment I open my eyes and I'm on the floor. I couldn't move. I could see the sound of them bubbling up through the floor. Whatever they gave me gave them away. They live in my walls. They control the wires. When I grab a beer from the front they control me. I couldn't move. I thought if I could move my fingertips I'd be free. My fingers didn't move. They were holding a beer. An ice cold beer. I like having one at the end of the day after working hard. I work hard a lot. My shoulder hurts. My knees ache. Nothing a tall beer won't make feel better. I feel good when I drink beer. I feel alive. I don't know what being dead feels like, but I know how it feels to be alive. It feels like drinking a cold beer. People say not to drink alone. I'm never alone. They live in my walls. They come out at night when I'm sleeping and move my groceries. I can never find the goddamn cereal. I can find the beer, though. It's at the corner store. It's always there, like a mighty lighthouse. God, I love drinking a beer after a long day of work. I feel good when I drink beer.

 

[Greenery]

Rats. And rats make him crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room filled with rats. And rats make me crazy.

 

[serial_thrilla]

Worship me.

 

[PhenomenalV1]

Worship me.

View attachment 2010478

A life, sir, do you have one?

 

[T2B_]

Worship me.

View attachment 2010478

Were half of those from your Freo board review thread title?

 

[PhenomenalV1]

You know they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is NOT TRUE!

See, normally if you go one-on-one with another wrestler you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak, and I'm not normal! So you got a 25% at best at beat me!

And then you add Kurt Angle to the mix?! Your chances of winning drastic go down. See, the three-way at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning. But I—I got a 66 2/3 chance of winning, 'cause Kurt Angle KNOOOWS he can't beat me, and he's not even gonna try!

So Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance minus my 25% chance, and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75% chance of winning (if we was to go one on one), and then add 66 2/3 chan—percents... I got a 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice!

Señor Joe, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!

 

[Greenery]

Worship me.

View attachment 2010478

So cool!!!!

 

[PhenomenalV1]

John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don't hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best. Because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am: And that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good as kissing Vince McMahon's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as 'Dwayne' though. He's a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Whoops, I'm Breaking the Fourth Wall...

I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split, just like I'm splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.

I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that: they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even on commentary! Nobody can touch me! And yet, no how—no matter how many times I prove it... I'm not on your lovely little collector cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in movies, and I'm certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show. I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be. And trust me, this isn't sour grapes. But the fact that 'Dwayne' is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight: Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else! Because you're the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of. And then at 5 in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you're too lazy to go get a real job.

I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro-Wrestling. Maybe...I'll go back to Ring of Honor.

Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing?

The reason I'm leaving is you people. Because after I'm gone, you're still going to pour money into this company. I'm just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel is going to keep turning, I understand that. But Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, non-sensical, douchebag yes men, like John Laurinaitis, who's going to tell him everything he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this company will better after Vince McMahon's dead. But the fact is, it's—it's going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family. Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon, all right? Here we're doing this whole bullying campaign—

 

[Bonz]

Swampies, the easy way to beat us this week is to stop me from carrying the team.

Over the second half of this season I we have become a one man band!

 

[DragoDelph]

And that's what we call in the business, a running gag.

 

[T2B_]

The first thing I want to be done is to get that piece of crap out of FF. Don't just get him out off the field, get him out of the SFA because I'll prove, son, without a shadow of a doubt, that you ain't got what it takes anymore! You sit there, and you thump your SweetFA.plus page, and you say your prayers to yourself, and it didn't get you anywhere. Talk about your goals, talk about okeydoke7 this that - T2B_ SAYS I'LL JUST WHIP YOUR ASS! All he's gotta do is go buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird and try to get back some of that courage he had in his prime. As the King of the FBs, I'm servin' notice to every one of the 'SFA superstar FFs.' I don't give a damn what they are, they're all on the list, and that's T2B_'s list, and I'm fixin' to start runnin' through all of them. As far as this match is considered, son, I don't give a damn if it's Brenton Davy or okeydoke7 . T2B's time has come, and when I get the shot, you're lookin' at the next FB Champion, and that's the bottom line because T2B_ said so!

 

[T2B_]

View attachment 2010497

Swampies, the easy way to beat us this week is to stop me from carrying the team.

Over the second half of this season I we have become a one man band!

And that's even while you're kicking at like 50%!

 

[DragoDelph]

The first thing I want to be done is to get that piece of crap out of FF. Don't just get him out off the field, get him out of the SFA because I'll prove, son, without a shadow of a doubt, that you ain't got what it takes anymore! You sit there, and you thump your SweetFA.plus page, and you say your prayers to yourself, and it didn't get you anywhere. Talk about your goals, talk about okeydoke7 this that - T2B_ SAYS I'LL JUST WHIP YOUR ASS! All he's gotta do is go buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird and try to get back some of that courage he had in his prime. As the King of the FBs, I'm servin' notice to every one of the 'SFA superstar FFs.' I don't give a damn what they are, they're all on the list, and that's T2B_'s list, and I'm fixin' to start runnin' through all of them. As far as this match is considered, son, I don't give a damn if it's Brenton Davy or okeydoke7 . T2B's time has come, and when I get the shot, you're lookin' at the next FB Champion, and that's the bottom line because T2B_ said so!

So what you're trying to say to okey is..

"bring your old skinny frail bones with me, we're going straight to the goalsquare"

 

[Bonz]

⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣩⣉⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣶⣕⣈⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣛⢋⣰⠣⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⡝⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⣿⣋⣀⣈⣻⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣿⡐⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢩⣝⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠿⠦⠀⠸⠿⣻⣿⡄⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣿⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

 

[Bonz]

And that's even while you're kicking at like 50%!

I like behinds ok?

 

[serial_thrilla]

A life, sir, do you have one?

In the mystical world of SFAEW - yes, I do!!

 

[serial_thrilla]

Were half of those from your Freo board review thread title?

Even Headless found the time to react to it!

 

[serial_thrilla]

Has anyone seen the Rats today? I think we scared them off.

 

[Robertio]

Has anyone seen the Rats today? I think we scared them off.

I think you've scared everyone off mate.

 

[Bonz]

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