Certified Legendary Thread Pearlers Only

[spenze]

I know this probably sounds racist but...

Ever notice how everyone in the KKK looks the same?

 

[spenze]

I asked my wife what she wants for our anniversary, she said "a divorce."


I said, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

 

[worbod]

If a Woolworths store burnt to the ground would it become coals?

 

[philreich]

If a Woolworths store burnt to the ground would it become coals?

News just in from Woolworths - they'll be giving away free groceries for Christmas, to anyone who can outrun their security.

 

[Lyttelton Ranger]

If a Woolworths store burnt to the ground would it become coals?

Woolies at Stirling in the Adelaide Hills says hello

 

[Concussion test]

Man asks his wife: “if I die, would you consider getting married again?” The wife shot back rather quickly, “Sure.”

The man digs. “Well would you let him live in this house?” “Well sure. I love this house.” Feeling more upset he continues, asking, “Would you let him use my golf clubs?”

“Oh no. Never.” He gets some comfort. Until she says, “He's lefthanded.”

 

[bartlettsbaldpatch]

I asked my 3 1/2 year old granddaughter what her favourite tv show was. She replied "Blues Lose"

 

[spenze]

I bought my wife a mood ring, it turns black when she’s annoyed.



Not sure if it turns any other colors.

 

[spenze]

What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on the same book for years?




A Church