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AFLW 2024 - Round 10 - Chat, game threads, injury lists, team lineups and more.
Official Jokes thread - for those who like to laugh!!
- Thread starter SeinDude
- Start date
- Tagged users None
- Status
Whats red and can't climb trees?
A KFC spoon.
A KFC spoon.
When the minister for prisons visited the low security prison he was impressed by the farm and gardens.
"Oh, that's old Toms work" explained the Governor. "He's an expert gardener, makes the farm self-sufficient, and his flowers always win first prize at the horticultural shows".
The Minister was intrigued and sought Tom out. He found him in the gardener's shed which Tom had built himself and which was stocked with books on horticulture, literature and art.
"You really shouldn't be in here Tom" said the Minister.
"That's what i've been telling them for years" said Tom
He explained that the loss of legal papers concerning his case was the only complication keeping him there.
"First thing on Monday morning I wil start the process to get your immediate release" said the Minister. He shook Toms hand and turned to leave.
That's when he was hit fair in the back of the head with half a red brick. Tom had thrown it. "You won't forget, will you?" he asked.
"Oh, that's old Toms work" explained the Governor. "He's an expert gardener, makes the farm self-sufficient, and his flowers always win first prize at the horticultural shows".
The Minister was intrigued and sought Tom out. He found him in the gardener's shed which Tom had built himself and which was stocked with books on horticulture, literature and art.
"You really shouldn't be in here Tom" said the Minister.
"That's what i've been telling them for years" said Tom
He explained that the loss of legal papers concerning his case was the only complication keeping him there.
"First thing on Monday morning I wil start the process to get your immediate release" said the Minister. He shook Toms hand and turned to leave.
That's when he was hit fair in the back of the head with half a red brick. Tom had thrown it. "You won't forget, will you?" he asked.
Eagles_Rock!!
Senior List
Most of them are hilarious.
- Banned
- #730
Aussie "three kick" rule
A big city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural New South Wales. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's paddock on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don't know how we do things Down Under. We settle small disagreements like this with the Aussie Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the Aussie Three Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied. “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly then the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot - now it's my turn.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”
A big city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural New South Wales. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's paddock on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don't know how we do things Down Under. We settle small disagreements like this with the Aussie Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the Aussie Three Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied. “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly then the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot - now it's my turn.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”
- Banned
- #731
Power Lift
There was this bloke walking down a dusty outback road north of Port Agutta wearing a port-power beanie. A cocky pulls up in an old beat-up ute and says, "Would you like a lift mate?" The bloke thinks for a minute and replies, "No way mate, you can open and close your own bloody gates."
There was this bloke walking down a dusty outback road north of Port Agutta wearing a port-power beanie. A cocky pulls up in an old beat-up ute and says, "Would you like a lift mate?" The bloke thinks for a minute and replies, "No way mate, you can open and close your own bloody gates."
Here is a riddle for the true intellectual. Try to come up with the answer
on your own... The answer is at the end for those who are unable to think
this one through!!
At the exact same time, there are two young men on opposite sides of the
earth:
One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers; the other is getting a
blow job from an 85 year old woman. They are both thinking the exact same
thing. What are they both thinking?
*
Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down..
on your own... The answer is at the end for those who are unable to think
this one through!!
At the exact same time, there are two young men on opposite sides of the
earth:
One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers; the other is getting a
blow job from an 85 year old woman. They are both thinking the exact same
thing. What are they both thinking?
*
Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down..
- Banned
- #733
Supposedly, when you're parachuting and your parachute won't open you say "Praise Allah!" and you will be saved. One guy did this and a black hand came from the sky, caught him, and placed him gently on the ground.
"Thank Christ" the man said.
Then a big black foot came from the sky and squashed him.
"Thank Christ" the man said.
Then a big black foot came from the sky and squashed him.
- Banned
- #734
> > > On a flight to Singapore, a gentleman had made several attempts to get
> >
> > > into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight
> > > attendant noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, "You may use the
> > > ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the
> >wall."
> > >
> > > He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons
> > > he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters:
> > > WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
> > >
> > > Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW.
> > > Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he
> >
> > > thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.
> > >
> > > Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air
> > > replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
> > >
> > > When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff
> > > caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this
> > > unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom,
> > > it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its
> > > pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would
> > > be supreme ecstasy.
> > >
> > > Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as he opened his eyes.
> > >
> > > A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.
> > >
> > > "What happened?" he exclaimed. "You pushed one too many buttons,"
> > > replied the nurse.
> > >
> > > "The last button marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon Remover. " Your
> > > balls are in the bucket under the bed "
> >
> > > into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight
> > > attendant noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, "You may use the
> > > ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the
> >wall."
> > >
> > > He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons
> > > he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters:
> > > WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
> > >
> > > Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW.
> > > Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he
> >
> > > thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.
> > >
> > > Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air
> > > replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
> > >
> > > When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff
> > > caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this
> > > unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom,
> > > it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its
> > > pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would
> > > be supreme ecstasy.
> > >
> > > Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as he opened his eyes.
> > >
> > > A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.
> > >
> > > "What happened?" he exclaimed. "You pushed one too many buttons,"
> > > replied the nurse.
> > >
> > > "The last button marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon Remover. " Your
> > > balls are in the bucket under the bed "
- Banned
- #735
topjars said:
GOLD
State of the Art
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
Tigerrific said:
Very good!
Bomber Spirit
Norm Smith Medallist
Q: If you keep wine in wine cellars, where do you keep knives?
A: In Monica Seles.
A: In Monica Seles.
sherb
Hall of Famer
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her Cadillac XLR and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. The driver dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to
the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back, saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. The driver dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to
the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back, saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now departed Prince, she happily sat in her rocking chair watching the world go by with her cat Alan. One afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared her Fairy Godmother.
Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"
The Fairy Godmother replied, "Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was overjoyed. "I wish I was extremely wealthy", she said.
Instantly, her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Alan, her cat, jumped off her lap and ran to the edge of the porch quivering with fear.
"Oh thank you Fairy Godmother," said Cinderella. "Is there anything else you might wish for?" asked the Fairy Godmother.
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I was young and full of the beauty I once had." At once, her wish was granted. Cinderella felt feeling inside her that she had not felt for years.
The Fairy Godmother said, "You have one wish remaining, what shall you have?"
Cinderella looked at her frightened cat in the corner and said, "I wish you to turn Alan, my old cat, into a handsome young man." Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a change and then before them stood young man with the looks and body that no other man could match.
The Fairy Godmother again spoke "Congratulations Cinderella. Enjoy your new life," and with that she was gone.
For a few eerie moments, Cinderella and Alan looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat breathless, gazing at the most stunning, perfect man she had ever seen. Alan walked over to Cinderella and held her close in his muscular arms. He leant in close to her ear and whispered in a warm breath, "Bet you regret having my balls chopped off now, don't you?"
Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"
The Fairy Godmother replied, "Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was overjoyed. "I wish I was extremely wealthy", she said.
Instantly, her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Alan, her cat, jumped off her lap and ran to the edge of the porch quivering with fear.
"Oh thank you Fairy Godmother," said Cinderella. "Is there anything else you might wish for?" asked the Fairy Godmother.
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I was young and full of the beauty I once had." At once, her wish was granted. Cinderella felt feeling inside her that she had not felt for years.
The Fairy Godmother said, "You have one wish remaining, what shall you have?"
Cinderella looked at her frightened cat in the corner and said, "I wish you to turn Alan, my old cat, into a handsome young man." Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a change and then before them stood young man with the looks and body that no other man could match.
The Fairy Godmother again spoke "Congratulations Cinderella. Enjoy your new life," and with that she was gone.
For a few eerie moments, Cinderella and Alan looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat breathless, gazing at the most stunning, perfect man she had ever seen. Alan walked over to Cinderella and held her close in his muscular arms. He leant in close to her ear and whispered in a warm breath, "Bet you regret having my balls chopped off now, don't you?"
- Banned
- #741
Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine???
A washing machine wont follow you around for three weeks after you put a load in it.
A washing machine wont follow you around for three weeks after you put a load in it.
badassbillygunn3
Senior List
- Dec 28, 2004
- 266
- 0
- Other Teams
- the one with the fat kid
What do you call three hungry asians walking to school.
Three blind mice.
Three blind mice.
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her.
Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you will always want to look at her.
Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?
God: So you will always want to touch her.
Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?
God: So you will always want to be near her.
Adam: That's wonderful Lord, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she would love you.
Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you will always want to look at her.
Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?
God: So you will always want to touch her.
Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?
God: So you will always want to be near her.
Adam: That's wonderful Lord, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she would love you.
- Sep 5, 2004
- 515
- 14
- AFL Club
- Melbourne
- Other Teams
- melbourne
What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
A brunette with bad breath
A brunette with bad breath
- Banned
- #745
A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has
been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."
The priest tells the sinner,"You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's'."
Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"
A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.
Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his
sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church.
All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar.
Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green
shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs
slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.
The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?"
The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think its just the reflection off her shoes."
been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."
The priest tells the sinner,"You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's'."
Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"
A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.
Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his
sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church.
All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar.
Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green
shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs
slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.
The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?"
The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think its just the reflection off her shoes."
A humble crab fell into love with Princess Lobster, and she with him. They enjoyed an idyllic relationship but one day Princess Lobster came to Crab in floods of tears saying that King Lobster would not let her see Crab any more.
"But why?" gasped the humble crab.
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," sobbed the princess. "You're a lower class of crustacean, and anyway, you walk sideways."
Crab was shattered and scuttled away to drink himself into forgetfulness. That night was the occasion of the great Lobster Ball.
Lobsters came from far and near for feasting and merrymaking. Only Princess Lobster sat by her father's side, inconsolable. Suddenly, the doors flew open. It was the humble crab. Slowly, painstakingly, he made his way to the throne - walking straight, one claw after another. Step by painful step he approached until he looked King Lobster in the eye.
There was a deadly hush.
Finally Crab spoke up: F^&# im p**ssed
"But why?" gasped the humble crab.
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," sobbed the princess. "You're a lower class of crustacean, and anyway, you walk sideways."
Crab was shattered and scuttled away to drink himself into forgetfulness. That night was the occasion of the great Lobster Ball.
Lobsters came from far and near for feasting and merrymaking. Only Princess Lobster sat by her father's side, inconsolable. Suddenly, the doors flew open. It was the humble crab. Slowly, painstakingly, he made his way to the throne - walking straight, one claw after another. Step by painful step he approached until he looked King Lobster in the eye.
There was a deadly hush.
Finally Crab spoke up: F^&# im p**ssed
Brilliant Third Grader
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."
The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Harry both agree.
The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment, "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!
Harry replied, "Pockets."
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Harry: Coconut
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
Harry: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Harry: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Harry: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
Principal was looking restless and bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?
Harry: Firetruck
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself."
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."
The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Harry both agree.
The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment, "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!
Harry replied, "Pockets."
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Harry: Coconut
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
Harry: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Harry: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Harry: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
Principal was looking restless and bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?
Harry: Firetruck
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself."
- Banned
- #748
When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?"
But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?"
- Banned
- #749
After the Australian Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided
> to go out for a beer. The guy from Tooheys sits down and says
> "Hey mate, I would like the world's best beer, a Tooheys."
> The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The
> guy
> from XXXX says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of
> Beers', a XXXX."
> The bartender gives him one. The guy from VB says"I'd like the only beer
> that satisfies my thirst, give me a VB."
> He gets it. The guy from Coopers sits down and says "Give me a Coke."
> The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The
> other brewery
> presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Coopers?"
> The Coopers president replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer,
> neither will I."
> to go out for a beer. The guy from Tooheys sits down and says
> "Hey mate, I would like the world's best beer, a Tooheys."
> The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The
> guy
> from XXXX says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of
> Beers', a XXXX."
> The bartender gives him one. The guy from VB says"I'd like the only beer
> that satisfies my thirst, give me a VB."
> He gets it. The guy from Coopers sits down and says "Give me a Coke."
> The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The
> other brewery
> presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Coopers?"
> The Coopers president replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer,
> neither will I."
- Status
