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George Pell's death has had a massive effect upon survivors in Ballarat this last week......

It's all back on the front pages, leading the radio news, on the 6pm nightly tele.....

It's back in our face, all over again.

I have friends on suicide watch, taking a break from job's, life...

And Pell never touched one of us, but he enabled it to happen. He was the chair of the Bishop's advisory committee, the group that ultimately moved on the likes of Riddsdale. He also said he had no idea of what Riddesdale, Best, Dowlin or Fitzgerald were up to at St Alipius, when he lived 50 meters from the school. My aunt was told by the Ballarat East Sargent to "go home and mind your own business" when she and another mother took their concerns to the law! The Ballarat Cops were protecting the priests, what hope did a nine year old boy have? I lost three first cousins, and about six other kids I knew to suicide, 13 of the 33 boys in grade 6 in 1975 are now dead either by their own hand or prematurely by alcohol, drugs or self medicating.... almost half.

So I will not morn George, even though he personally intervened to get me into teaching, I did thank him for that, but I c.an never endorse his choosing his career over the safety of children. My father knew George well, sat along side him on many governance groups, his description of George sums the bloke up perfectly...

" George is the most odious human I've ever met ...."
Feel so sad for your friends DL. I also have friends that were abused by the Ballarat cabal. I was born in Ballarat, and lived in the area most of my early life. Met Pell a few times. One of the coldest people I can remember meeting. Count myself fortunate that I wasn't directly affected. Looking back now, I understand there were reasons why several of my classmates left school suddenly, or otherwise had sudden mood changes. A lay teacher at the catholic secondary school I went to (not in Ballarat, but in region), was convicted a few years ago.

I have no idea if Pell was an abuser or not, but I note the HC's finding that the witness's evidence was compelling. And irrespective of whether he was guilty or not, the Royal Commission's findings were damning of both Pell and Mulkearns. I'm in despair of the reporting in the Murdoch media in the past few days, it's so tone deaf.
 
George Pell's death has had a massive effect upon survivors in Ballarat this last week......

It's all back on the front pages, leading the radio news, on the 6pm nightly tele.....

It's back in our face, all over again.

I have friends on suicide watch, taking a break from job's, life...

And Pell never touched one of us, but he enabled it to happen. He was the chair of the Bishop's advisory committee, the group that ultimately moved on the likes of Riddsdale. He also said he had no idea of what Riddesdale, Best, Dowlin or Fitzgerald were up to at St Alipius, when he lived 50 meters from the school. My aunt was told by the Ballarat East Sargent to "go home and mind your own business" when she and another mother took their concerns to the law! The Ballarat Cops were protecting the priests, what hope did a nine year old boy have? I lost three first cousins, and about six other kids I knew to suicide, 13 of the 33 boys in grade 6 in 1975 are now dead either by their own hand or prematurely by alcohol, drugs or self medicating.... almost half.

So I will not morn George, even though he personally intervened to get me into teaching, I did thank him for that, but I c.an never endorse his choosing his career over the safety of children. My father knew George well, sat along side him on many governance groups, his description of George sums the bloke up perfectly...

" George is the most odious human I've ever met ...."

Thanks for sharing your sordid story with us mate, very heartfelt, honest and uncomfortable and inspiring reading at the same time.

I am not a Catholic and didn't go to a private school (thankfully) but was sexually and physically abused by a trusted family member for several years, which left me with PTSD and lifelong depression and anxiety and anger management type issues for life (including becoming an addict to a couple of unhealthy substances)

I am so damaged and broken from within that I will never have a family or a life time partner (my own father was an alcoholic who physically and emotionally abused me, my brother and especially my mother) for many years before my Mum had the courage and strength to leave him as a toddler.

Most amazing woman in my life and my hero.

I just want to mention to everyone e how soul destroying and emotionally crippling it can be to be sexual abuse victim/survivor. The degradation and utter powerlessness you

I get so angry and really rilled up at apologists for Pell and other clergy men who r*ped and or sexually assaulted children and in many cases ruined any chance of them becoming a productive and happy adult.

Hope to catch up with you some day at the footy or at the Charles Dickens Tavern on Collins St to watch our beloved LUFC ! #MOT
 

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Thanks for sharing your sordid story with us mate, very heartfelt, honest and uncomfortable and inspiring reading at the same time.

I am not a Catholic and didn't go to a private school (thankfully) but was sexually and physically abused by a trusted family member for several years, which left me with PTSD and lifelong depression and anxiety and anger management type issues for life (including becoming an addict to a couple of unhealthy substances)

I am so damaged and broken from within that I will never have a family or a life time partner (my own father was an alcoholic who physically and emotionally abused me, my brother and especially my mother) for many years before my Mum had the courage and strength to leave him as a toddler.

Most amazing woman in my life and my hero.

I just want to mention to everyone e how soul destroying and emotionally crippling it can be to be sexual abuse victim/survivor. The degradation and utter powerlessness you

I get so angry and really rilled up at apologists for Pell and other clergy men who r*ped and or sexually assaulted children and in many cases ruined any chance of them becoming a productive and happy adult.

Hope to catch up with you some day at the footy or at the Charles Dickens Tavern on Collins St to watch our beloved LUFC ! #MOT
I knew we had a lot in common brother (I know you're a dude unlike Blue Gum!!!) I will take you up on that, I will be in Melbourne at the Chilli Peppers in early Feb, would love to meet you somewhere and give you a hug brother.....

Dirty
 
The Old Dark Navy's it's discussion like this here that I'm eternally thankful you started this thread.

Love and thoughts to you all affected and impacted by sexual abuse. Whether it was you yourself the victim or a loved one
 
Hi everyone, first time poster on this part of the forum.

I'm hoping that someone can help or provide some advice. I've recently discovered that I have confession OCD. It explains a lot about my childhood and why I'd always confess in situations I didn't need to. I also have decision making OCD and some other situational OCD.

Anyway, it's never really been an issue, aside from getting in trouble unnecessarily as a child by confessing to my mucking about, until really recently where I've been getting incredible anxiety over needing to confess something that is minor and actually isn't an issue at all. The reason it's an issue is that I know it's actually not even worth discussion, but for some reason it's causing me ridiculous anxiety. What I've seen online confessing to smaller and smaller things fuels the OCD and leads to further even more minor issues causing anxiety attacks so the best thing to do is to fight it. Eventually the anxiety will pass and it will help the OCD in the long run.

While that sounds like a sound solution, in the meantime dealing the with pangs of anxiety is difficult.

Has anyone had experience with this themselves and/or know of techniques that can help overcome this?
 
Hi everyone, first time poster on this part of the forum.

I'm hoping that someone can help or provide some advice. I've recently discovered that I have confession OCD. It explains a lot about my childhood and why I'd always confess in situations I didn't need to. I also have decision making OCD and some other situational OCD.

Anyway, it's never really been an issue, aside from getting in trouble unnecessarily as a child by confessing to my mucking about, until really recently where I've been getting incredible anxiety over needing to confess something that is minor and actually isn't an issue at all. The reason it's an issue is that I know it's actually not even worth discussion, but for some reason it's causing me ridiculous anxiety. What I've seen online confessing to smaller and smaller things fuels the OCD and leads to further even more minor issues causing anxiety attacks so the best thing to do is to fight it. Eventually the anxiety will pass and it will help the OCD in the long run.

While that sounds like a sound solution, in the meantime dealing the with pangs of anxiety is difficult.

Has anyone had experience with this themselves and/or know of techniques that can help overcome this?
Thanks for sharing this Coops.
Really unusual.
I remember confessing to stealing some chocolare bars that were stashed away in a high cupboard whenI was little.
Thing is, I didn't do it, but the anxiety of one of my brothers not stepping up to accept blame, made me take it on.
So in a way, I understand your confession anxiety, but not in the way you describe. Quite amazing.
You could look at in a positive sense, as having a lot of humilty and if you were confessing as a Catholic, you miggt be seen as having Saintly qualities because some of our saints were confessional to the most scrupulous degree.
However, given the situations you find yourself wanting to confess in, and the anxiety around not confessing,
it seems you need some professional advice.
I often do guided relaxation sessions with anxious patients.
Mindfulness meditation amd guided imagery can be really helpful and any mindful app is easy to access.

So sorry you are suffering with this.
Glad you had courage to share cos a burden shared is a burden lightened, even if it's not solved.
 
Thanks for sharing this Coops.
Really unusual.
I remember confessing to stealing some chocolare bars that were stashed away in a high cupboard whenI was little.
Thing is, I didn't do it, but the anxiety of one of my brothers not stepping up to accept blame, made me take it on.
So in a way, I understand your confession anxiety, but not in the way you describe. Quite amazing.
You could look at in a positive sense, as having a lot of humilty and if you were confessing as a Catholic, you miggt be seen as having Saintly qualities because some of our saints were confessional to the most scrupulous degree.
However, given the situations you find yourself wanting to confess in, and the anxiety around not confessing,
it seems you need some professional advice.
I often do guided relaxation sessions with anxious patients.
Mindfulness meditation amd guided imagery can be really helpful and any mindful app is easy to access.

So sorry you are suffering with this.
Glad you had courage to share cos a burden shared is a burden lightened, even if it's not solved.
Thanks for the reply.

Similar to how you've said it could be perceived as being a good thing in some cases, I've seen that referenced as part of the reason it's considered OCD. In that the desire to confessed is around being as good a person as possible and morally clean, with any diversion from that causing the OCD anxiety response. If that makes sense.

As you confess to things, the next minor thing you also suddenly believe is making you a bad person, so you confess to that, and so on until even the most minor of things cause you anxiety unless you confess to them. It seems to have got to a point for me where I can now see logically there's not actually an issue that needs to be openly discussed, however my OCD/anxiety is telling me otherwise. By giving into it now I'll only be making it worse next time. So I should hold on, but the holding on causes anxiety and stress. I know it'll pass, based on what I've seen read and other experiences people have shared in similar spots, but how long and until then it just... sucks.

Just... getting through the hard part as best I can.. just sucks. As everyone with anxiety/panic experiences would know. I'm sure there's general anxiety techniques I could use to help quell the anxious pangs when they hit, but overall it's a waiting game I think.

I've only recently learned about it myself so I'm sure my knowledge around it is missing pieces, but that's the essence of what I was able to understand.
 

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Thanks for the reply.

Similar to how you've said it could be perceived as being a good thing in some cases, I've seen that referenced as part of the reason it's considered OCD. In that the desire to confessed is around being as good a person as possible and morally clean, with any diversion from that causing the OCD anxiety response. If that makes sense.

As you confess to things, the next minor thing you also suddenly believe is making you a bad person, so you confess to that, and so on until even the most minor of things cause you anxiety unless you confess to them. It seems to have got to a point for me where I can now see logically there's not actually an issue that needs to be openly discussed, however my OCD/anxiety is telling me otherwise. By giving into it now I'll only be making it worse next time. So I should hold on, but the holding on causes anxiety and stress. I know it'll pass, based on what I've seen read and other experiences people have shared in similar spots, but how long and until then it just... sucks.

Just... getting through the hard part as best I can.. just sucks. As everyone with anxiety/panic experiences would know. I'm sure there's general anxiety techniques I could use to help quell the anxious pangs when they hit, but overall it's a waiting game I think.

I've only recently learned about it myself so I'm sure my knowledge around it is missing pieces, but that's the essence of what I was able to understand.
Great self awareness.
I wonder if you do an inner confession instead of an outer one if that would help relieve the anxiety?
Picture whoever you want to confess it to. Whatever works for you. And maybe picture being unconditionally loved no matter what. In other words confess being compelled to confess and ask for release from your compulsion (as an inner thing) after you do this, imagine drawing a refreshing and pure drink of water from a well. As you drink, imagine being loved just as you are and not as you think you should be. Might take a lot of repetition cos you are re-wiring.
Might not appeal to you either and that's fine. Just offering it as an exercise if you want to try.😊🙏🌾
 
Great self awareness.
I wonder if you do an inner confession instead of an outer one if that would help relieve the anxiety?
Picture whoever you want to confess it to. Whatever works for you. And maybe picture being unconditionally loved no matter what. In other words confess being compelled to confess and ask for release from your compulsion (as an inner thing) after you do this, imagine drawing a refreshing and pure drink of water from a well. As you drink, imagine being loved just as you are and not as you think you should be. Might take a lot of repetition cos you are re-wiring.
Might not appeal to you either and that's fine. Just offering it as an exercise if you want to try.😊🙏🌾
I'll give that a go, thanks for the advice.

Another I've seen people say helps them is to write down what you think is concerning you and that helps a lot of people. I'm not sure if they're writing it as an apology or just matter of fact what they're thinking, but that's another strategy I think I'm going to try. I've had situational anxiety before but not an ongoing one like this so it's all new to me and any technique I'll try at this point.
 
Hi everyone, first time poster on this part of the forum.

I'm hoping that someone can help or provide some advice. I've recently discovered that I have confession OCD. It explains a lot about my childhood and why I'd always confess in situations I didn't need to. I also have decision making OCD and some other situational OCD.

Anyway, it's never really been an issue, aside from getting in trouble unnecessarily as a child by confessing to my mucking about, until really recently where I've been getting incredible anxiety over needing to confess something that is minor and actually isn't an issue at all. The reason it's an issue is that I know it's actually not even worth discussion, but for some reason it's causing me ridiculous anxiety. What I've seen online confessing to smaller and smaller things fuels the OCD and leads to further even more minor issues causing anxiety attacks so the best thing to do is to fight it. Eventually the anxiety will pass and it will help the OCD in the long run.

While that sounds like a sound solution, in the meantime dealing the with pangs of anxiety is difficult.

Has anyone had experience with this themselves and/or know of techniques that can help overcome this?

Thanks for sharing Coops...

Sorry mate, don't think I can be of any help with this either...
Your anxiety seems to be triggered a lot different to mine and don't want to give you any wrong advice...

A good Psychologist is always worth seeing, mine has helped me immensely...
 
Hi everyone, first time poster on this part of the forum.

I'm hoping that someone can help or provide some advice. I've recently discovered that I have confession OCD. It explains a lot about my childhood and why I'd always confess in situations I didn't need to. I also have decision making OCD and some other situational OCD.

Anyway, it's never really been an issue, aside from getting in trouble unnecessarily as a child by confessing to my mucking about, until really recently where I've been getting incredible anxiety over needing to confess something that is minor and actually isn't an issue at all. The reason it's an issue is that I know it's actually not even worth discussion, but for some reason it's causing me ridiculous anxiety. What I've seen online confessing to smaller and smaller things fuels the OCD and leads to further even more minor issues causing anxiety attacks so the best thing to do is to fight it. Eventually the anxiety will pass and it will help the OCD in the long run.

While that sounds like a sound solution, in the meantime dealing the with pangs of anxiety is difficult.

Has anyone had experience with this themselves and/or know of techniques that can help overcome this?
possibly childhood ptsd - sometimes as kids we internalize any form of unsafe behaviour going on around us and it becomes self blame - far better that we believe we are at fault rather than our parents who we hold as sacrosanct - kids use mal-adaptive coping mechanisms all the time as a way to survive, either emotionally or physically - later in life they can still exist, causing all sorts of issues - confessing to things you didn't do was a way of taking the blame and having anger or abuse directed at you rather than a sibling - or it was a way for you to ensure the situation had a resolution and your folks stopped fighting - just a thought, c93..........
 
A good Psychologist is always worth seeing, mine has helped me immensely...

Great post. I just wanted to add - and this applies to anyone seeking a psych - is that if the one that you see doesn't click with you or they're not responding to you in a helpful manner please don't give up and look for the next one.

After my initial spinal cord injury I went through quite a few. I've always looked at my issues rationally and with understanding. I've rarely been suicidal (there have been a few times I've considered it but nothing abnormal for my situation). Almost every psychologist that I saw would stop me in my tracks at the end of the first session and say something like "Wick, you're looking at this rationally. You have no designs to commit suicide. There's nothing I can really help you with" and that would be it. I also had people who would tell me to look at the trees, advise basic breathing exercises, etc. None of that would help.

There will be a psych out there that has the right approach and understanding. You're not "crazy" for seeking help.Nor is it a dead end of the first specialists you see can't help you.
 
Thanks for the reply.

Similar to how you've said it could be perceived as being a good thing in some cases, I've seen that referenced as part of the reason it's considered OCD. In that the desire to confessed is around being as good a person as possible and morally clean, with any diversion from that causing the OCD anxiety response. If that makes sense.

As you confess to things, the next minor thing you also suddenly believe is making you a bad person, so you confess to that, and so on until even the most minor of things cause you anxiety unless you confess to them. It seems to have got to a point for me where I can now see logically there's not actually an issue that needs to be openly discussed, however my OCD/anxiety is telling me otherwise. By giving into it now I'll only be making it worse next time. So I should hold on, but the holding on causes anxiety and stress. I know it'll pass, based on what I've seen read and other experiences people have shared in similar spots, but how long and until then it just... sucks.

Just... getting through the hard part as best I can.. just sucks. As everyone with anxiety/panic experiences would know. I'm sure there's general anxiety techniques I could use to help quell the anxious pangs when they hit, but overall it's a waiting game I think.

I've only recently learned about it myself so I'm sure my knowledge around it is missing pieces, but that's the essence of what I was able to understand.
No advice from me sorry but wish you all the best. Good on you for seeking help :heart:
 
I'm going to post this here to both vent and need a place to just put this out in the open.

I had some massive drama today.


Today I had OT. I was supposed to get compression stockings for my legs to help any sort of available healing. But one of them had an awful looking infection in it. I've battled it off and on for a couple of years. It's one of my most dangerous infections that's killing me.

OT said she couldn't fit me with the infection flared. Called in the podiatrist. Podiatrist had one look at it. He called in the IDC (infectious Disease Control team).

IDC comes down thinking he's coming to confirm a staph infection. Most common infection in that part of the hospital. Manageable but potentially deadly.

"That's not staph."

He goes through his checklist while his student underling goes through my medical records to see if anything at all is recorded.

2021. PAH. Pseudomonas infection detected in a urine test. Nothing is done about it. I have been treated for different types of bacterial infections and have had course after course of Amoxicillin. Amoxicillin does not treat pseudomonas infection.

He prescribes me some medication.

"If your infection spreads come immediately to the emergency room. You will need a drip immediately."

I got the script filled for a type of antibiotic I've never had before (to my knowledge).

Of course, I want to know what pseudomonas infection is and come across this:


The healthy amongst us have little to fear from Pseudomonas aeruginosa bacteria. But for some people the bacteria can be deadly. They can kill people in our hospitals within 24 hours of striking. They can also infect the lungs of people with cystic fibrosis, frequently contributing to an untimely death. Pseudomonas bacteria are in fact a major cause of hospital-acquired infection, with an estimated 10,000 cases each year in the UK alone.4,7,9 All too often, infection is severe and life-threatening, leading to pneumonia or septicaemia. Initial fever, cough, shortness of breath and chest pain can progress worryingly quickly until the patient is at substantial risk of generalised organ failure. Sadly, up to half of victims who develop pneumonia or septicaemia die.1,2,3Survivors can be left disabled for life. Pseudomonas bacteria are also dreaded by people with cystic fibrosis, a common inherited disorder. Up to 80% of adults with cystic fibrosis carry the bacteria in their lungs.10 Infection contributes to a gradual but relentless deterioration in sufferers' breathing and general state of health, markedly impacting on daily activities and frequently proving fatal.


I've had pneumonia in the not too distant past. Had tests and it went unidentified why or how I got it. it was chalked up to my poor immune system.

I've had other symptoms and illnesses directly related to this bacteria that we can now connect the dots to.

On one hand I'm beyond angry that they had identified signs of this superbug bacterial infection in my body and did nothing about it.

On the other hand, perhaps now that I have the IDC on my case, maybe I might have some hope of overcoming all of these issues if not the other things going on which might just prolong the other things happening.

Argh!
 
Oh honey!!!!!!!!####*


Please.

Vent away all you like.

Steam Rooom Here.

That is beyond shite. I feel your anger and frustration and some.
I HATE this kind of neglect.
Come across it in different forms too often.
Hate, hate HATE IT!
Grrrrrr.
****!!!.
So sorry Wick.
**** them.
Let's hope this pill works.
Please act on it. Put it in writing and send to CEO. It might help someone else at least.
I'd like to go and blast them myself.
Please recover from this quickly so you can go on fighting.
Xx
 
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