Little things you do just to be a dick

[Freofalcon]

I know.

 

[Natho]

Piss on the toilet seat.

 

[Breva_]

Fax UmpiringFooty late at night

 

[Total_Juddshanks]

In the building where I live there's a security guard on the door, and whilst everyone else has the good sense and decency to leave the man alone and let him do his job, I like to go and talk shit to him, pretending I'm his mate when actually I just like to feel superior to someone stuck in a minimum wage job.

Last night I bought him a chocolate bar just to subtly rub in the massive wage disparity between us and highlight the awfulness of his life. And he has no choice but to pretend he likes it, because if he doesn't I'll complain to the building super.

 

[Jackfrost]

Make my way through the big crowd at pedestrian crossings in the City to push the crossing button

 

[Matera92]

In the building where I live there's a security guard on the door, and whilst everyone else has the good sense and decency to leave the man alone and let him do his job, I like to go and talk shit to him, pretending I'm his mate when actually I just like to feel superior to someone stuck in a minimum wage job.

Last night I bought him a chocolate bar just to subtly rub in the massive wage disparity between us and highlight the awfulness of his life. And he has no choice but to pretend he likes it, because if he doesn't I'll complain to the building super.

And one day when you need him to actually do his job he'll pretend you don't exist.

 

[The Falcon Strike]

Nothing better than blocking a car in on a two lane road.

If I see a car zooming up from behind and can see they'll pull into the other lane and then cut back in front of me, I'll make sure I accelerate just enough so that they get stuck behind a slow car in the other lane,

Generally only do it when the car is rampantly speeding.

It's also good fun to let the gap open up, just to close it again on them

 

[BALKAN]

- Don't wash my hands at the toilet then go to Coles and handle fruit & veg.
- Take up 2 parking spaces.
- Make Subway employees dice my tomatoes.
- Pat girls on the head.
- Bark at dogs in public until they flip out and start barking back, then laugh as their owners scold them.

 

[quin_stick]

If I'm turning right in heavy traffic on a 2 lane road I don't indicate until the last second so people get stuck behind me

 

[Quivorir]

In the building where I live there's a security guard on the door, and whilst everyone else has the good sense and decency to leave the man alone and let him do his job, I like to go and talk shit to him, pretending I'm his mate when actually I just like to feel superior to someone stuck in a minimum wage job.

Last night I bought him a chocolate bar just to subtly rub in the massive wage disparity between us and highlight the awfulness of his life. And he has no choice but to pretend he likes it, because if he doesn't I'll complain to the building super.

Security guards can actually make quite good coin.

 

[Taylor]

Nothing better than blocking a car in on a two lane road.

If I see a car zooming up from behind and can see they'll pull into the other lane and then cut back in front of me, I'll make sure I accelerate just enough so that they get stuck behind a slow car in the other lane,

Generally only do it when the car is rampantly speeding.

It's also good fun to let the gap open up, just to close it again on them

I only do this on three or more lane roads when they charge up behind, tailgate until a spot opens up, overtake me then I kick into gear and while they dance around the lanes trying to get a touch quicker, I move into the fast lane and gun it just so I can maintain a casual stare forward as I cruise past them over and over again.

The futility of their effort should be made apparent.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Security guards can actually make quite good coin.

On rare occasions. I'd still rather make notes

 

[SugarShane]

- Bark at dogs in public until they flip out and start barking back, then laugh as their owners scold them.

Hahaha yes. There was this really loud and aggressive dog around the corner from where i grew up so whenever i walked or rode past it i'd always bark at it to get it riled up, it was a fair sized property so it'd follow you all the way along a 50m or so fence. Just glad it never got out because if it did i'd probably be cactus.

 

[GPW1]

i drive really slow in the ultra fast lane, while people behind me are going insane.

 

[Quivorir]

I park in handicapped spaces, whilst handicapped people make handicapped faces.

 

[courtjester]

crap on the floor in public toilets

actually, I've never done it but I've thought about it.

 

[bresker]

Reply to text messages 3 days later

 

[JUBJUB]

I park in handicapped spaces, whilst handicapped people make handicapped faces.

"You're an arseh*le...an arseh*le...an A..SS...HO..LE"

 

[Smoooothy]

Reply to text messages 3 days later

woah, easy there satan..

 

[WA ROO]

When people bark at my dog,I let go of the leash

 

[Papa Juggs]

You are actually a c*n't.

I report posters that subvert the swear filter

 

[Cruyff14]

I report posters that subvert the swear filter

 

[Holy Foley!]

In supermarkets, I snap chocolate bars in half. Like snapping a pencil with one hand.

 

[Igloo]

In supermarkets, I snap chocolate bars in half. Like snapping a pencil with one hand.

This is the worst thing mentioned in this thread by a mile. You sir, are what is wrong with the world.

 

[Holy Foley!]

This is the worst thing mentioned in this thread by a mile. You sir, are what is wrong with the world.

It's not that bad is it?