- Joined
- Jun 4, 2002
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- Manchester United
Another season has started, and once again it seems there are more Liverpool supporters around than even us bandwagon-jumping, talent-stealing, corporate box-sitting Man United scum.
So in that spirit I present my guide to becoming a Liverpool supporter on BigFooty:
Step One
Put a Liverpool logo as your avatar, and the slogan "You'll Never Walk Alone" either above your avatar, or in your signature. You'll gain instant credibility.
Step Two
Begin barracking for anyone but Manchester United. From your quick browsing of recent English football history, you'll have noticed that Liverpool had indeed won no titles while United have been dominant. So become bitter, jealous, and even go to the extreme of caring more about their results than your own.
Step Three
Dislike a team called Everton. Sure, they've had no success since the 80's, and you have never heard of the place, but they're apparently your greatest rival and you can beat them most of the time.
Step Four
Whenever you are talking about your side, slip in words like "Merseyside" and "The Kop". Sure, you don't know that the Mersey is Liverpool's river, or that The Kop is the stand behind the goals, but all your Red friends use them too, and you wanna be like them, right?
Step Five
Claim that "this year's the year" - every year. Hey, those new signings are sure to lift your club to the pinnacle of local success, and make sure you tell every Manchester United and Arsenal supporter about it. There's absolutely no chance it'll come back to bite you at the end of the season.
Step Six
After Liverpool doesn't win the title, claim that "next year's the year", and make sure to mention that your manager has been looking at some new overseas talent.
Step Seven
Say that Dudek is the best keeper on earth. All your self-respecting Liverpool fans will agree, even if no one else does.
Step Eight
Claim that your side has won the treble before. Sure, it was only a plastic treble, and nothing in comparison to Manchester United's treble, but you're in denial. So make sure you viciously deny that it was a plastic treble, and claim the League Cup is the one that they're all after.
Step Nine
Say that Manchester United are your bitches, even though they've won seven titles since you won your last. When United fans mention that fact, blindly call them bandwagoners and prawn munchers. That'll show em!
Step Ten
Lose your sense of humour.
The Hitman
So in that spirit I present my guide to becoming a Liverpool supporter on BigFooty:
Step One
Put a Liverpool logo as your avatar, and the slogan "You'll Never Walk Alone" either above your avatar, or in your signature. You'll gain instant credibility.
Step Two
Begin barracking for anyone but Manchester United. From your quick browsing of recent English football history, you'll have noticed that Liverpool had indeed won no titles while United have been dominant. So become bitter, jealous, and even go to the extreme of caring more about their results than your own.
Step Three
Dislike a team called Everton. Sure, they've had no success since the 80's, and you have never heard of the place, but they're apparently your greatest rival and you can beat them most of the time.
Step Four
Whenever you are talking about your side, slip in words like "Merseyside" and "The Kop". Sure, you don't know that the Mersey is Liverpool's river, or that The Kop is the stand behind the goals, but all your Red friends use them too, and you wanna be like them, right?
Step Five
Claim that "this year's the year" - every year. Hey, those new signings are sure to lift your club to the pinnacle of local success, and make sure you tell every Manchester United and Arsenal supporter about it. There's absolutely no chance it'll come back to bite you at the end of the season.
Step Six
After Liverpool doesn't win the title, claim that "next year's the year", and make sure to mention that your manager has been looking at some new overseas talent.
Step Seven
Say that Dudek is the best keeper on earth. All your self-respecting Liverpool fans will agree, even if no one else does.
Step Eight
Claim that your side has won the treble before. Sure, it was only a plastic treble, and nothing in comparison to Manchester United's treble, but you're in denial. So make sure you viciously deny that it was a plastic treble, and claim the League Cup is the one that they're all after.
Step Nine
Say that Manchester United are your bitches, even though they've won seven titles since you won your last. When United fans mention that fact, blindly call them bandwagoners and prawn munchers. That'll show em!
Step Ten
Lose your sense of humour.
The Hitman
