dry sayings

[Tex_21]

Gay as AIDS. Can I say that?

 

[drew_j]

Looks like the north end of a south bound cat.

 

[cancat]

A face like back stop for the darts team

As funny as a fart in a space suit (Billy Connelly)

I feel like a Leonard Cohen record - no one is listening to me (The Young Ones)

 

[hagansbull]

All feathers but can't fly
Speak up, This isn't a Chemist Shop
His mouth's writing cheques his body can't cash.

 

[Oscarman]

Dumb as a box of hammers.
Going like a cut cat.

 

[jonoman89]

As useful as **** on a bull

 

[TheStinger]

When going to the toilet...

I have to see a man about a dog.

Or my personal favourite...

I have to drop the kids off at the pool.

 

[Macca19]

bent as a dogs hind leg

toey as a roman sandal

camp as a row of tents

as cold as a witches tit

 

[Bound 4 september]

Face on her like a robbers dog...

 

[shad518]

Full as a fat women's sock. (drunk)

Arse a bit low to the ground. (too short)

Two asprin on an ironing board. (small ****)

 

[FrankGrimes]

full as a butchers dog...

 

[The Cranium]

Is the Pope Catholic

Does a bear shit in the woods

Does raggedy anne have a cloth ****

 

[footy_4_life]

She's got a head looks like a burnt thong.

She's got a head looks like a dropped pie.

 

[rocker_oz33]

as lose as a sausage in a bucket
more front than Myers
as lose as throwing a sausage down a hall way
why don't you go back to your home on wh@r# island

 

[Bomberlicious]

When describing the ease of cutting or inserting something -

Like a hot knife through a leper

 

[Damp Squarie]

A few of these have been tabled...

As flat as a ducks instep

As black as a dogs guts

More pricks than a second hand dart board

As full as a doctors wallet

As bold as brass

As cold as a witches tit

As cold as a mother-in laws kiss

More moves than a steam driven stopwatch

As sharp as a sugarbag full of wet spaghetti

About as subtle as a smack in the chops

Vanished like a fart in a fan factory

Lower than a snakes belly in a wheel rut.

As funny as a hat full of arseholes

Dry as a pommies towel

As thick as a brick

As happy as a pig in shit

As tight as a camels arse in a sandstorm

As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market

As useful as a one-armed trapeze artist with an itchy arse

As nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs

Cold enough to freeze the balls of a brass monkey

Flat out like a lizard drinking

As full as a state school hatrack

Dropped him like a sack of spuds

He had a head on him like a half-chewed mango

Jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof

As flat as a shit carter's hat

As tight as a fishes arse

As sharp as a tack

Higher than Joe Cocker

As loose as a goose

Assilly as a wheel

As full as a bull's bum.

He's as sharp as a billiard ball

As silly as a cut snake

As mad as a meat axe

As dry as a dead dingo's donger

As busy as a one-armed paper hanger

Busier than a one armed bricklayer in beirut

Hung like a mallee bull

As thick as two short planks

As thick as a brick

Slower than a wet week

Dumber than dog shit

As silly as a dog with two dicks

As dry as an arabs fart

Busier than a one legged man in a bum kicking competition

As strong as an ox

Got a head on her like a robbers dog

Colder than a nuns nasty

Off like a bride’s nightie

As useful as an ashtray on a motor bike

As useful as a hip pocket in a singlet

As happy as Larry

Sticks out like the back wheels on a dog

As useless as a spare prick on a wedding night

As useless as a half opened pocket-knife

As shakey as a shithouse rat

Up and down like a whores drawers

Had more pricks than a pair of rental trousers

Had more pricks than a second hand dart board

As toey as a roman sandal

Seen better heads hanging over a piss trough

Got a head like a kicked in shit bin

Got a face like a dried up buffalo ****

As tough as boarding house steak

As crook as rookwood

As useful as a chocolate teapot

She could eat an apple through a tennis racquet

Got a head on her like a twisted sandshoe

As full as a fairies phonebook

Harder than the hobs of hell

As popular as dandruff

About as bright as a hurricane lantern

As busy as a one-armed pickpocket at a kangaroos' convention

As much use as an ashtray on a windsurfer

As flash as a rat with a gold tooth

Done up like a pox-doctor's clerk

More degrees than a thermometer

Older than methuselah

As popular as a pork chop in a synagogue

About as sharp as a bowling ball

As hard as a bulls head

As bright as a box of budgies

As blind as a welders dog

Whines like the wife on payday

As ugly as a mud fence

As poor as church mice

As awkward as a cow with a musket.

 

[spookism]

All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake
All over it like a rash on a hooker

 

[Illinois Nazi]

Useless as a chocolate teapot.

Randy little bugger - Up and down like the Assyrian Empire.

 

[hagansbull]

needs hitting over the head with a sock full of his own shit.
off like dads pjs on his birthday

 

[Father Jack]

couldn't kill him with the back edge of an axe.

 

[hagansbull]

Heard this one today. As cold as a Laplanders dogs nose

 

[Spudregus_87]

Had a head on her like a bucket of smashed crabs.

My personal fave.

 

[Brad Roo]

A favorite from my wise old grand father:

If it has **** or wheels, it will cost you money.

 

[jswan]

Obviously everyone has heard....Is the pope Catholic? and Does a bear shit in the forrest? But what i like is when you get the odd person who mixes the 2 together......Does the pope shit in the forrest?....Always cracks me up.

 

[DidakDelight]

Ugly - seen better heads on a badly poured beer

Bullshit artist - could talk under water with a mouth full of marbles

Doing nothing - standing around like a spare c*ck at a wedding

Soft - as tough as custard and twice as yellow

Unappreciative with food/wine - it would be like feeding strawberries to pigs

Not one to muck around - I'm not here to f**k chooks


my favourite you can't polish a T urd