dry sayings

[hagansbull]

Having a few friday night beers with some mates and one of them always comes up with these one liners.
Every fool will be able to teach you something
Blind as a welders dog
It is better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth an remove all doubt
Just the ones I can remember, will add.

 

[Tormented Tiger]

up her like a rat up a drain pipe

 

[fryingpan]

Useless as **** on a bull
Dry as a popcorn fart
Black as the ace of spades

 

[NagoyaDog]

Dry as a dead dingo's donga

Dead as a door nail

dumb as dog shit

 

[hagansbull]

as dumb as bait
sharp as a bowling ball
in more trouble than the early settlers

 

[Hard Ball Get]

Went quicker than a virgin on prom night

Flat stick like a lizard drinking

I'm so hungry I could eat the crotch out of a low flying duck

 

[Mr Shankly]

'Cunning as a dunny rat' is a good one.

 

[hagansbull]

Rare as rocking horse poo

 

[cuzzy_bandwagon]

usefull as an ashtray on a motorbike

shes had more pricks than a second hand dart board

 

[TheStinger]

Rare as rocking horse poo

Rare as hens teeth.

When I am at work the saying most used is Working harder than a Drover's dog.

 

[pies75]

Head like a half-chewed mintie.
Head like a dropped pie.
I'm so hungry i could eat the maggoty arse off a dead horse.

 

[jonoman89]

as ugly as a bag full of assholes

 

[Ry009]

She looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

 

[Mr Shankly]

That's a good un. Reminds me of one of those Facebook apps, I think it was the Aussie Insult Generator or something. Came up with gems like 'a face like a punched-in cabbage/busted sofa/dropped pie'.

 

[Renegade]

Face like a bulldog eating porridge.

Crazier than a shit house rat.

 

[Strike Swiftly]

Rather be hanging out of her, than hanging out of a tree.
Rather be half way up her, than half way up Bourke Street.
Head like a kicked in bikky tin.
Sweating like a whore in church.

 

[Tex_21]

Off Like a gutshot roo
In as much shit as a Werribee duck

 

[r dub 19]

rather a handjob from edward scissor hands
later than a pregnant girl's period

 

[And_ROOS]

Face like an eaten arseh*le.

 

[Hoffy95]

Gotta face like a rat catcher's mallet
Gotta face like a blind cobblers thumb
Gotta face like a bucket of smashed crabs

 

[Wildrig]

When describing a somewhat average looking lass

Face like a busted sausage
Face like her mum fed her with a slingshot
Face like she put makeup on with a jackhammer
Looks like someones chopped wood on her face
Face like a deep sea racing prawn

Or , when a mate asks if youre going to have a big night

"Not here to fu*k spiders" or
"not here to have a haircut"

Or, when you need to leave somewhere quickly

"Off like a brides nightie"

 

[The Sultan]

Thirsty - dry as a nuns nasty
Unattractive- ugly as a hat full of arseholes
Lady how may have already had a few male acquatances - would be like throwing a sausage down a hall way
confusion - like a blind lesbian in a fish factory
uslessness - about a good as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest
- could not organise a piss-up in a brewery

 

[Hoffy95]

As dry as a pommies bath mat
Drier than an arab's fart

 

[saj_21]

busier than a one armed brick layer in bahgdad!

 

[Barwick17]

Stubby short of a slab

Sharp as a billiard ball