Health Depression

[DemurePrincess]

Hey guys,
I know this is a really morbid question to ask on an internet forum, but has anyone here had suicidal thoughts and is willing to share their experience how they turned it around?

Can I private message you mate

 

[MP_]

Hey guys,
I know this is a really morbid question to ask on an internet forum, but has anyone here had suicidal thoughts and is willing to share their experience how they turned it around?

Hey there, I was going to pm you but I think for my own mental health recovery I will put this in an open domain. First of all if you are feeling like you may be suicidal please speak to someone. As for my own experience I have had suicidal ideation for close on ten years , not all the time but I have periods where my depression leads to to constantly think about dying. As for feeling suicidal there has been three occasions 5 years ago where I was at the point of no return. Once I was stopped by my wife and twice I decided against it as I realised it wasn’t the best option. If I’m being honest I’ve never actually spoken about this to anyone other than a doctor. How did I turn it around ??? Hmmm , not 100% sure I have but it know ending my life doesn’t resolve anything and I know damn sure that what my mind is telling me at my lowest point isn’t actually true. YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND, it’s the one quote I go back to when my mental health goes down and I realise my mind is telling me stories that don’t exist. I will message you privately and we can talk some more but I feel that for myself I need to be honest on this board because I’ve spent a large chunk of my life being dishonest to myself and others.

 

[Madas]

Hey guys,
I know this is a really morbid question to ask on an internet forum, but has anyone here had suicidal thoughts and is willing to share their experience how they turned it around?

Once a few years ago and the main thing that stopped me was thinking about how shit I’ve felt when people I know have taken their lives and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone

One day at a time
Keep the good Mojo flowing

 

[KERRPOW]

Hey guys,
I know this is a really morbid question to ask on an internet forum, but has anyone here had suicidal thoughts and is willing to share their experience how they turned it around?

This is the first time I've ever admitted this....ever.....yes...the last few months ive thought about it almost weekly.

The last few years has been incredibly tough. I dont really want to go into details, but its just one thing after another for the last 8-10 years. Its not just one thing but a cumulation of stressful situations and nothing seems to settle theres always some drama, some issue to get through, some emergency that has to be sorted. Its exhausting, im just exhausted.

The sad thing is i tried to open up to my partner years ago...all I got was a blank stare no hug or hand on the shoulder or any warmth.... so i pulled myself together, shut the **** up and never spoke of it again.

I now know i can never truely be honest about how i feel to anyone so i just try and ignore these feelings.
But to this day, on the inside....im empty, im angry, im alone, i'm present but not present, sort of just going thru the motions. I dont feel valued, i dont feel appreciated...i sort of feel like im on the outside looking in...im just here to be the breadwinner and i dont really have a say in anything else. im too scared to bring all this up incase it opens a can of worms.

In the words of will smith i just smile and pretend everythings just ok.

 

[DemurePrincess]

This is the first time I've ever admitted this....ever.....yes...the last few months ive thought about it almost weekly.

The last few years has been incredibly tough. I dont really want to go into details, but its just one thing after another for the last 8-10 years. Its not just one thing but a cumulation of stressful situations and nothing seems to settle theres always some drama, some issue to get through, some emergency that has to be sorted. Its exhausting, im just exhausted.

The sad thing is i tried to open up to my partner years ago...all I got was a blank stare no hug or hand on the shoulder or any warmth.... so i pulled myself together, shut the **** up and never spoke of it again.

I now know i can never truely be honest about how i feel to anyone so i just try and ignore these feelings.
But to this day, on the inside....im empty, im angry, im alone, i'm present but not present, sort of just going thru the motions. I dont feel valued, i dont feel appreciated...i sort of feel like im on the outside looking in...im just here to be the breadwinner and i dont really have a say in anything else. im too scared to bring all this up incase it opens a can of worms.

In the words of will smith i just smile and pretend everythings just ok.

You know you can only do that for so long mate? This life is far too long to ‘just smile and pretend all is okay’

Your feelings are valid… I don’t know your situation so I can’t really comment much more but when I hear people say they are exhausted… I find it super alarming hey?

Please dump in here as often as you need mate.

 

[KERRPOW]

You know you can only do that for so long mate? This life is far too long to ‘just smile and pretend all is okay’

Your feelings are valid… I don’t know your situation so I can’t really comment much more but when I hear people say they are exhausted… I find it super alarming hey?

Please dump in here as often as you need mate.

Thanks mate, i tend to keep my thoughts myself alot of the time. But sort of posting anonymously certainly helps.

 

[Mojo]

This is the first time I've ever admitted this....ever.....yes...the last few months ive thought about it almost weekly.

The last few years has been incredibly tough. I dont really want to go into details, but its just one thing after another for the last 8-10 years. Its not just one thing but a cumulation of stressful situations and nothing seems to settle theres always some drama, some issue to get through, some emergency that has to be sorted. Its exhausting, im just exhausted.

The sad thing is i tried to open up to my partner years ago...all I got was a blank stare no hug or hand on the shoulder or any warmth.... so i pulled myself together, shut the **** up and never spoke of it again.

I now know i can never truely be honest about how i feel to anyone so i just try and ignore these feelings.
But to this day, on the inside....im empty, im angry, im alone, i'm present but not present, sort of just going thru the motions. I dont feel valued, i dont feel appreciated...i sort of feel like im on the outside looking in...im just here to be the breadwinner and i dont really have a say in anything else. im too scared to bring all this up incase it opens a can of worms.

In the words of will smith i just smile and pretend everythings just ok.

I relate so deeply to all of this.

That's disappointing to hear that about your partner. Communication has to be part of the solution, in some way, shape or form, right?

You should talk to someone professionally - having someone listen to you with their undivided attention might allow you to exonerate your problems from your mind, and help find a solution.

 

[MP_]

This is the first time I've ever admitted this....ever.....yes...the last few months ive thought about it almost weekly.

The last few years has been incredibly tough. I dont really want to go into details, but its just one thing after another for the last 8-10 years. Its not just one thing but a cumulation of stressful situations and nothing seems to settle theres always some drama, some issue to get through, some emergency that has to be sorted. Its exhausting, im just exhausted.

The sad thing is i tried to open up to my partner years ago...all I got was a blank stare no hug or hand on the shoulder or any warmth.... so i pulled myself together, shut the **** up and never spoke of it again.

I now know i can never truely be honest about how i feel to anyone so i just try and ignore these feelings.
But to this day, on the inside....im empty, im angry, im alone, i'm present but not present, sort of just going thru the motions. I dont feel valued, i dont feel appreciated...i sort of feel like im on the outside looking in...im just here to be the breadwinner and i dont really have a say in anything else. im too scared to bring all this up incase it opens a can of worms.

In the words of will smith i just smile and pretend everythings just ok.

Thanks for opening up to us it’s very hard but also very much needed for your own mental health. I’ve seen it a lot with blokes that once we’ve been burnt when we try to open up we completely shut down. I really feel for you as I feel very much the same . My partner has so much going on with her job that I don’t want to burden her with my issues. I give her little bits here and there but most of what I’m feeling is kept locked away. I have no close mates anymore, I’d love to have someone I could completely open up to, I’m tearing up just now because I just want to tell my story as horrible as it is but shame , guilt and judgement stop me from talking to anyone I know.

Maybe you could try writing a letter to your partner about everything that’s going on, maybe they need a different method of digesting what you’re going through. My wife has recently been diagnosed with ADHD and so she doesn’t recognise people’s feelings like non neurodivergent people. Sometimes you have to approach things in a different way to get through. It’s sort of like how everyone has a different love language.

You should also look at seeing a gp and talking to them about what’s going on.

Keep popping in and keep talking as we’re all in this together.

 

[DemurePrincess]

This makes me so sad. I have such an amazing network of support. My folks, my sister my friend will drop everything if I called.. however I don’t and never ask for help! But I can’t imagine not having that… I take it for granted and then I hear this and my heart breaks for you bc without being able to off load to someone, anyone… it becomes a toxic mess inside. It’s a lot harder to fix when it’s like a sewer.

Off load to whoever you can too. Off load in here. But don’t let it eat you up from the inside out.

 

[Mojo]

Once a few years ago and the main thing that stopped me was thinking about how shit I’ve felt when people I know have taken their lives and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone

One day at a time
Keep the good Mojo flowing

I don't think I'd ever go through with it due to the same reason.

 

[MP_]

This makes me so sad. I have such an amazing network of support. My folks, my sister my friend will drop everything if I called.. however I don’t and never ask for help! But I can’t imagine not having that… I take it for granted and then I hear this and my heart breaks for you bc without being able to off load to someone, anyone… it becomes a toxic mess inside. It’s a lot harder to fix when it’s like a sewer.

Off load to whoever you can too. Off load in here. But don’t let it eat you up from the inside out.

yeah it sucks not having mates, I seem to just lose touch with people. Not replying to a message for a day turns into a week then month then years have gone by. I think maybe there’s something about me they don’t like but I seem to get along so well with my work colleagues so I can’t be that bad a person. I love being alone but I don’t like being lonely and I think that’s the problem.

 

[DemurePrincess]

yeah it sucks not having mates, I seem to just lose touch with people. Not replying to a message for a day turns into a week then month then years have gone by. I think maybe there’s something about me they don’t like but I seem to get along so well with my work colleagues so I can’t be that bad a person. I love being alone but I don’t like being lonely and I think that’s the problem.

Well that’s the thing mate. Friends are an investment! If you don’t invest… then you tend to lose your dividends too!

It’s as simple as that but it’s one of the hardest things to maintain…

 

[Madas]

I don't think I'd ever go through with it due to the same reason.

That’s the spirit mate

And to you and everyone out there who’s feeling the pressures of life , being alive and having consciousness really is special and we should be very grateful we have been provided the opportunity.
We shouldn’t take it for granted .
As someone much wiser than me once said “ you’re a long time dead “

Life can be really shit and a pain in the ass but I’d like to wager that 99% of the time it’s better than being dead .

 

[MP_]

Listened to a guy talk about depression, anxiety and about a golfer recently who committed suicide. It’s had me in tears listening to this guy relating to things he talked about. Two things stood out, his comment that his biggest fear was that one day he would take his own life due to depression…... I feel this comment . The other was that he wears a mask to hide what he is really feeling, so they he can pretend to others he’s having a normal day , living a normal life. Problem is when you keep wearing the mask people have no idea anything is wrong. Sometimes I wonder if there is ever an actual cure for depression or it’s just something that will come and go the rest of my life.

 

[DemurePrincess]

Hello people beautiful!

Sometimes we need to be reminded of this xx

 

[DemurePrincess]

You know you do it too

 

[Cuzz09]

I like all those quotes but they seem to fade after 5 seconds.

Be good if you could see them everywhere you went and everyone u spoke to

Sent from my SM-S908E using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[DemurePrincess]

I like all those quotes but they seem to fade after 5 seconds.

Be good if you could see them everywhere you went and everyone u spoke to

Sent from my SM-S908E using BigFooty.com mobile app

They are in your mind my friend always… just sometimes the good quotes get clouded but the ugly

 

[Soldier Of Misfortune]

YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND, it’s the one quote I go back to when my mental health goes down and I realise my mind is telling me stories that don’t exist.

I love this - I always try repeat "My thoughts are not instructions". For all the amazing things our bodies do without effort, it's annoying as hell that sometimes you've gotta get pretty active to get the thoughts on the right track.

 

[DemurePrincess]

I love this - I always try repeat "My thoughts are not instructions". For all the amazing things our bodies do without effort, it's annoying as hell that sometimes you've gotta get pretty active to get the thoughts on the right track.

Yep! Sometimes you need to kick your own arse bc those thoughts got there somehow!!! And that same person can remove them! The mind is amazing but cruel all in one

 

[DemurePrincess]

And the shitty part I find is after a bad day and all those intrusive shitty negative, self loathing thoughts are gone. I feel so stupid that they were even there the first place! Embarrassed almost! Especially if I reached out to anyone. Hate hate hate that!

 

[MP_]

I love this - I always try repeat "My thoughts are not instructions". For all the amazing things our bodies do without effort, it's annoying as hell that sometimes you've gotta get pretty active to get the thoughts on the right track.

Unfortunately the hardest battle is with yourself and once you lose control of your thoughts it’s a dark place to be. I am struggling a bit at the moment after having a fairly good few months.

 

[Soldier Of Misfortune]

Unfortunately the hardest battle is with yourself and once you lose control of your thoughts it’s a dark place to be. I am struggling a bit at the moment after having a fairly good few months.

The only battle is with yourself. Ever tried changing another person? Impossible. Trying to change yourself is possible. Bloody hard but possible. And slow.