Comical Simpsons Quotes as they apply to Footy and Footballers

[greennick]

Lenny: If you ask me, Muhammad Ali in his prime was much better than anti-lock brakes.
Carl: Yeah, but what about Johnny Mathis versus Diet Pepsi?
Moe: Oh, I cannot listen to this again!

Gold

That is BF to a tee.

 

[Greg Miller= Messiah]

Juddy Leaving West Coast
West Coast fans: You all might think this is funny, but at the moment our chairman is at home crying like a little girl!!!

 

[STC]

Bart/EM: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum/AD: Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys.
Lou/AA: What was that, chief?
Chief Wiggum/AD: Do what the kid says.

 

[Cohzee]

Bart/EM: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum/AD: Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys.
Lou/AA: What was that, chief?
Chief Wiggum/AD: Do what the kid says.

Brilliant!

 

[Frankston Rover]

Recruiter: Thanks for letting us have this assembly, Sgt. Skinner.
Skinner: Anything for my beloved army.
Recruiter: How 'bout reenlisting?
Skinner: How 'bout you bite me?

 

[ashley12]

Recruiter: Thanks for letting us have this assembly, Sgt. Skinner.
Skinner: Anything for my beloved army.
Recruiter: How 'bout reenlisting?
Skinner: How 'bout you bite me?

GOLD

 

[And_ROOS]

"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there." (Ralph Wiggum)

"Wait a minute, Marge. I saw 'Mrs. Doubtfire.' This is a man in drag!" (Homer)

How many feel on his reasons for returning to Victoria...
"I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about to lie or just finished lying... but not when I am telling the truth." (Homer)

 

[High Voltage]

Burns(Ratten): Smithers(AndrewD), I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat (tank)to win a million-dollar bet(player)?
Smithers(AndrewD): Yes, sir.
Burns(Ratten): Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat(tank) to win a million-dollar bet(player)?
Smithers(AndrewD): No, sir.

 

[fuzzyswan]

Burns(Ratten): Smithers(AndrewD), I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat (tank)to win a million-dollar bet(player)?
Smithers(AndrewD): Yes, sir.
Burns(Ratten): Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat(tank) to win a million-dollar bet(player)?
Smithers(AndrewD): No, sir.

 

[Dagless]

Not an exact quote but close enough

Homer:Well, it looks like it was a good night for us all.
Marge: Thats not an award, its part of the set...
Homer: Nothing you say can diminish this honour. *Arm on award breaks off*

 

[Hugshawks]

Worsfold: "We'll be rich. Rich like Nazi's."

 

[Beau_Waters for PM]

Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

Hilarious!

 

[WhoAteAllThePies]

This one is with regards to the West Coast Eagles

Abe: That doll is EVIL, I tells ya. Evil! Eeeeeeviillll!!!
Marge: Grandpa, you said that about all the presents.
Abe: I just want attention.

First rate.

 

[Freo Big Fella]

Homer: It's been three days and my mind is clearer. My sperm count is up, and I'm able to recognise simple shapes and patterns.
Lisa: Dad, you just said that three minutes ago.

 

[rhino49]

for all the people in line for grand final tickets, not 100% right but you get the drift


Homer: Heh-heh-heh, I did it. Second in line, and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.
Man: With the money you would have made working, you could have bought tickets from a scalper.
Homer: In theory, yes.
[sotto voce]
Homer: Jerk.

Man: Give me 100,000 tickets
Ticket Lady: That will be $5,000,000
Man: Look i dont have the money right now can i pay you later
Ticket Lady: Ok

 

[ashley12]

Homer: It's been three days and my mind is clearer. My sperm count is up, and I'm able to recognise simple shapes and patterns.
Lisa: Dad, you just said that three minutes ago.

The winner

 

[STC]

Not an exact quote but close enough

Collingwood:Well, it looks like it was a good night for us all.
Andrew Demetriou: Thats not an award, its part of the set...
Collingwood: Nothing you say can diminish this honour. *Arm on award breaks off*

Edited for accuracy

 

[Barabbas]

Football player: [being interviewed]
This team is fired up. We came here to play!
Homer: Aw right! [picks up the phone to place his bet]
Lisa: [scoffing] He'll lose.
Homer: What? Didn't you hear what he said?
Lisa: Look at the fear in his eyes, listen to the quiver in his voice.
[poetically] He's a little boy lost in a game of men.

 

[God_King]

Homer: "And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned."

 

[God_King]

Homer: "Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this. It is not okay to lose."

 

[kane249]

It's from South Park, not the Simpsons but in light of recent events in Greece and Germany....

playing' movies, makin' music and Fight-in' Round The World!

Nathan Carroll: ...we're gonna have to go look for 'em. Where should we go fight people next, Brock?
Brock: TOOOOOOT
Nathan Carroll: Great idea! Brock thinks we should go to the faaar away of China. China is one of the oldest civilizations on earth. And from what I understand, they LOVE a good fight! So let's go!

Brock: TOOOT TOOOT [two men appear]
Man with Moustache: Oh my God! It's Nathan Carroll!
Nathan Carroll: [taunts back] Oh my God, it's Nathan Carroll! Oh my Gmah, bah bah byah byah! Why don't you mind your own business, you scrotum?! [punches each of them]

 

[ashley12]

^^^^ Lmao^^^^

 

[torq]

This quote deserves another run...

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

 

[Shmoses]

Came in to post that exact quote

 

[timaah]

Sea captain: "Yarr, it's not his fault he's a sissy. Someone's been
coddling him."