Media BREAKING: GF captain held to ransom over EKA outcome; EKABOMBER speaks out again

[Braklet]

Toads in your skivvies sounds like a feature, not a bug.

"c'mon Toady... almost there..."

 

[big_icky]

Deadline has passed, how are the mirrors faring at home Tigerturbulance?

 

[Braklet]

Deadline has passed, how are the mirrors faring at home Tigerturbulance?

I'm more interested in the toad undies...

 

[big_icky]

I'm more interested in the toad undies...

 

[Grav]

OMFG!

 

[Pamcake1]

 

[Pamcake1]

 

[Pamcake1]

 

[Pamcake1]

 

[Pamcake1]

 

[Pamcake1]

 

[Pamcake1]

 

[U2tigers]

 

[U2tigers]

 

[Tigerturbulance]

Deadline has passed, how are the mirrors faring at home Tigerturbulance?

 

[Pugsley]

Yep. Clueless Pugsly.
Like this.
View attachment 2024275

Not I. I am very smart

 

[big_icky]

This intrepid reporter believes the shark may have been jumped and the lore may have been irredeemably lost in this case but the EKABOMBER insisted this message was passed on to the masses. This was sent via fax from HM Prison this morning.

Dear Turbo,

I wish to express my extreme disappointment that you did not follow my instructions which I carefully laid out for you.

I write this to you from the Melbourne Remand Centre as I was involved in an unrelated matter yesterday and the Victoria Police are so far not believing my version of events.

I have had a change of heart on the timeline I gave you to deal with this matter - you now have until midnight tonight to follow my list of demands. I am really being more than fair with this gracious extension.

Anyway, as an added incentive …….. I have had some time to reflect here and would like to advise I will add one hundred additional curses for yourself and your team, just because I can, should you not reply by the specified new deadline ……… despite some conjecture on this subject, I assure you that I am completely sane. I will follow through with this.
Just.watch.me.

Kind Regards, the EKABomber x

PS - Here’s what else you may have to look forward to ………..

100 Additional Curses

1. Change to Hermaphrodite or change gender randomly constantly
2. Cannot eat, mostly throws up
3. Animals all grow sick near you
4. People you meet hate you
5. Desperately try to mate as often as possible, increasingly desperate and weird
6. Any meat you try to eat becomes animated and crawls around like slugs
7. Any plant matter you try and eat turns rotten
8. You always get sexual diseases and spread it to every lover
9. Possessed – an hour a night you get up to no good and don’t remember what you did
10. Horrible crimes and accidents keep happening near you by coincidence
11. Love Is Blind – embracing a love object like a goat, elderly prostitute or virgin priestess
12. Nobody loves you and you constantly moan about lack of love annoying everybody
13. Boats always leak when you are in them
14. You lose control of your bladder when talking to opposite sex
15. Uncontrollable diarrhoea and vomiting when meeting new people
16. Holy symbols repulse you if wielded by believer
17. Children attack you on sight
18. Birds attack you in swarms daily
19. A ghost baby attaches itself to you, crying, weeping and haunting you and your fellow inhabitants with illusions and nightmares
20. You are doomed to fall in love with a dangerous or inaccessible person, possibly married already or sworn to chastity with a powerful family and followers to stop your advances
21. You believe the lice on your body are a tiny civilisation and you are their god, you tell people about this often
22. You only eat worms or grubs
23. You will not do anything without astrology reading or divination by some roadside hustler
24. You become a left handed if right currently and the reverse case also
25. You’re a fanatical masturbation fan
26. Secret police everywhere are intrigued by you and your success
27. Police think you look like your up to no good
28. You criticise everyone's clothing, personal style, haircut and grooming choices as often as possible
29. A single bizarre magic being torments you every full moon
30. Horrible digestive emissions – you stink up the place, ruin toilets and everyone hates you
31. Compulsive smoker – constantly using a pipe and smoking at all times – must smoke something constantly or you go into coma
32. Alcohol makes you ill and stupid (even more so)
33. Doldrums – Sailing ships won’t move with you aboard
34. Someone who looks just like you came and killed some locals – perhaps the mob will solve this problem ?
35. Constantly mistaken for a criminal – you look like trouble
36. Flies love you and probably frogs too
37. Liar Liar! – people don’t believe any of your stories, friends stories mentioning you sound bad, merchants fear you are a con man or robber
38. Offend Everybody – People misinterpret your words and explode into violence
39. Birds shit on you constantly
40. Lonely ghosts and spirits bug you out of boredom and for something to do
41. Dogs love humping your leg, they talk about how hot it is to other dogs
42. Everyone you kiss finds you repulsive and wants to be sick after
43. You find everything hilariously funny, laughing loudly at the wrong time
44. Doppelgängers causes you problems everywhere you go
45. Tentacle polyps grow on you
46. Old friends and loved ones forget you ever existed
47. Your nose swells and leaks phlegm constantly
48. You believe what everyone says no matter how stupid it is
49. Hooves – your feet become hooves, cloven or split - your choice
50. You can never find your way home
51. You think ugly people are beautiful and vice versa
52. You wake up in strange bed every morning
53. Only fools and children believe you
54. Barks like a dog, can hear self speech unchanged, everyone else thinks you barking mad
55. An older/younger version of you hunts you - who knows what will happen if you kill them ?
56. Sewerage tastes like delicious candy to you, you have no shame in pursuit of this yummy treat
57. Your teeth all fall out
58. Your fingernails and toenails fall out
59. You change bodies with your next lover
60. Androgyny - people are uncertain of your gender so you keep getting invited to wrong parties
61. You sleepwalk to deadly locations like a graveyard or a cliff
62. Your smile looks horrible and cruel and scares people
63. You grow a beak like a chicken or duck
64. You eat everything you kill or at least have a bite if pressed for time
65. Your thumbs disappear
66. Everyone thinks you are an idiot
67. When your enemies meet each other they become friends and allies
68. Unnatural attraction to animals rather than humanoids
69. Your pets hate you and become aggressive and attack you on sight
70. Irrational fear of poisoning, everyone is out to get you
71. You cant refuse a request for help
72. You cant keep a secret, blab about everything to everyone
73. All music, poetry, art and natural beauty does nothing for you
74. You seek out most the decadent, corrupt and depraved companions for horrible parties
75. You lose an inch in height a day till bug sized, stuff does not shrink
76. Poltergeist grope members of opposite sex near you all the time causing you much trouble as it looks like you’re doing the groping
77. Give everyone unwanted, untrue medical advice in a patronising manner until you lose all your friends - obsess and always talk about health, crazy diets and strange exercises
78. Visited by sky spirits in bed at night, now you want to tell everybody about them and the humiliation they heaped on you
79. You cant refuse a bet, constantly lose and go broke
80. You believe you can speak any language but you can’t
81. Irrational fear of plants and fungus
82. You grow tentacles or crab claws for hands
83. Wherever you stay ghosts awaken
84. You fall in love with and marry a horrible person, you only see best in them
85. Everyone thinks you are making sexual advances to them
86. Everyone thinks you are an idiot
87. You cannot hear without a huge ear trumpet
88. Your arms grow longer till knuckles drag on ground
89. All doors lock themselves when you approach
90. All animals howl in your presence
91. You sing instead of talk
92. Birds tell everyone your personal business
93. Everything you kill appears as a tattoo on your body
94. Only you can hear animals all making personal comments about you, starts to drive you crazy
95. You discover you were born with a tail and your mother sends it to you in a jar
96. Tools and items you need are never where they’re meant to be
97. You are compelled to only eat stolen food
98. Addicted to vice including, sex, drug addiction, alcoholic, prone to lewdness and running with crazy gangs of like minded often privileged hooligans
99. Black thumb – you cannot grow food
100. You play for the OOBs in the Sweet FA

 

[DemurePrincess]

#95 You discover you were born with a tail and your mother sends it to you in a jar


Seriously! The EKAbombers needs a cuddle or some shit! I’m concerned theres an emotional disconnect somewhere!

 

[U2tigers]

View attachment 2024869

This intrepid reporter believes the shark may have been jumped and the lore may have been irredeemably lost in this case but the EKABOMBER insisted this message was passed on to the masses. This was sent via fax from HM Prison this morning.

Wonder what the first thing I will do when I suddenly get chick parts, at least it won't be weird to sit whilst I piss.

 

[Jabba73]

View attachment 2024869

This intrepid reporter believes the shark may have been jumped and the lore may have been irredeemably lost in this case but the EKABOMBER insisted this message was passed on to the masses. This was sent via fax from HM Prison this morning.

Most of that list looks like a normal day

 

[myblueroan]

Not I. I am very smart

View attachment 2024777

Oh! Of course you are!
I meant I'm clueless!
No idea what'd going on!

 

[Tandy]

View attachment 2024180

This intrepid reporter is now begining to fear for his own safety after finding a note from the EKABOMBER on his doorstep when he returned from the BI Productions Office. There were no signs of life on the street when I found the note although the smell of ammonia lingered in the air. For my own sake, I hope this is the final notice from the EKABOMBER.

View attachment 2024181

Here's a reminder of the 10 curses if you missed them earlier:

#1 - Toads form in you underpants hourly
#2 - Wet your pants every time your surprised
#3 - Only talk in rhyme
#4 - Only feel pleasure from torturing others
#5 - Goblinoids think you are awesome, want to have your children, touch you, get some of your hair, etc
#6 - Stray cats follow you about, sometimes in hundreds
#7 - Stray dogs follow you everywhere
#8 - You will have no shadow nor reflection, if you look into any mirror, it shatters.
#9 - A monster thinks your its baby
#10 - Viva la revolution – you compulsively help the peasants revolt even if they seem happy

BI Productions is considering reaching out to Tandy, SFADA's top investigator, for his assistance in the hunt for the EKABOMBER.

Whilst some members are on holidays atm, I have put together the best available. #WhoistheEKABomber

 

[Grav]

#1 change gender randomly constantly

Can just see Tigerturbulance sneaking into Mrs Turbo sssss wardrobe

 

[Mrs Turbo]

#1 change gender randomly constantly

Can just see Tigerturbulance sneaking into Mrs Turbo sssss wardrobe

View attachment 2025085

Grav - Turbo prefers to wear Red - FYI

 

[Grav]

Grav - Turbo prefer to wear Red - FYI

View attachment 2025091

Hmmm! Worth a proposal