Off-topic Big Dog II

[Kangaroos4eva]

Really enjoying this thread.

 

[Tyler Durden007]

Really enjoying this thread.

You're doing it wrong, it's a "fred"

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

You're doing it wrong, it's a "fred"

Sorry master, what a great fred.

 

[Duritz]

Good LW but paragraphs required and the dialogue confusing as to who is talking. TBH it's like you dictated it to someone who doesn't understand how to write.

 

[Starburns_]

Good LW but paragraphs required and the dialogue confusing as to who is talking. TBH it's like you dictated it to someone who doesn't understand how to write.

Says the guy with the 'naked' profile to the guy with the quill badge.

 

[El Dubya]

Good LW but paragraphs required and the dialogue confusing as to who is talking. TBH it's like you dictated it to someone who doesn't understand how to write.

The confusing paragraphing is a deliberate stylistic decision, I'm hoping it will pay dividends as the story progresses.

 

[Duritz]

Says the guy with the 'naked' profile to the guy with the quill badge.

Umm... sorry to disagree with the groupthink going on here but it's poorly written. It is exactly as though LW has dictated it to an 11 year old, because the words are clearly his and quite well illustrated, but the structure is disastrously bad. LW says this is deliberate (contradicting your group think bay sheeple ROTE defence) so fair enough, give him time and we'll see if the eventual reasons for it justify the obviously poor style, but blindly clicking like and blindly lapping it up isn't my style, but good luck with it.

 

[Starburns_]

Umm... sorry to disagree with the groupthink going on here but it's poorly written. It is exactly as though LW has dictated it to an 11 year old, because the words are clearly his and quite well illustrated, but the structure is disastrously bad. LW says this is deliberate (contradicting your group think bay sheeple ROTE defence) so fair enough, give him time and we'll see if the eventual reasons for it justify the obviously poor style, but blindly clicking like and blindly lapping it up isn't my style, but good luck with it.

Well that's my job done here.

 

[Duritz]

Well that's my job done here.

Yes, of course. Soundly shown up to be a sheeple like the others ITT (except Jazny ) so resort to the "I meant that!" line...

 

[Sydney Bloods]

Umm... sorry to disagree with the groupthink going on here but it's poorly written. It is exactly as though LW has dictated it to an 11 year old, because the words are clearly his and quite well illustrated, but the structure is disastrously bad. LW says this is deliberate (contradicting your group think bay sheeple ROTE defence) so fair enough, give him time and we'll see if the eventual reasons for it justify the obviously poor style, but blindly clicking like and blindly lapping it up isn't my style, but good luck with it.

Mate, Its the bay not the ****ing folio prize.
If it helps, Just picture El dub holding a rocket launcher and call it free style writing.

 

[Duritz]

Mate, Its the bay not the ******* folio prize.
If it helps, Just picture El dub holding a rocket launcher and call it free style writing.

So you're suggesting we should adopt a policy of celebrating illiteracy, because "it's the bay"? I'm not saying LW is that, because he's clearly a VG writer, but you seem to be suggesting that because "it's the bay" then standards should be lowered.

 

[butters88]

but you seem to be suggesting that because "it's the bay" then standards should be lowered.

Shouldn't they? Come on Duritz you were here in the off season standards consisted of tagging Probitas_ in every post accompanied with a duck picture for about 30 pages

 

[Probitas_]

Shouldn't they? Come on Duritz you were here in the off season standards consisted of tagging Probitas_ in every post accompanied with a duck picture for about 30 pages

That sounds like the highest standard of posting I can think of.

 

[butters88]

That sounds like the highest standard of posting I can think of.

Clip from rainbow serpent or whatever hippy festival it was you went to Probitas_

 

[Probitas_]

Clip from rainbow serpent or whatever hippy festival it was you went to Probitas_

 

[Sydney Bloods]

So you're suggesting we should adopt a policy of celebrating illiteracy, because "it's the bay"? I'm not saying LW is that, because he's clearly a VG writer, but you seem to be suggesting that because "it's the bay" then standards should be lowered.

Where's the should? standards are lower. we let tazhawk post ffs.

 

[royals1922]

That sounds like the highest standard of posting I can think of.

You enjoyed all that tagging....

 

[Probitas_]

You enjoyed all that tagging....

It was pretty funny getting home to it. I think I set out to reply to every post but threw in the towel a few minutes in

 

[royals1922]

It was pretty funny getting home to it. I think I set out to reply to every post but threw in the towel a few minutes in

You learnt your lesson though. Never tell people you're going on holidays

 

[El Dubya]

You learnt your lesson though. Never tell people you're going on holidays

Unless you're creating a great thread about it.

 

[leobarryustar]

So you're suggesting we should adopt a policy of celebrating illiteracy, because "it's the bay"? I'm not saying LW is that, because he's clearly a VG writer, but you seem to be suggesting that because "it's the bay" then standards should be lowered.

****ing Shakespeare over here wants to tell us about literacy before he calls us campaigners

 

[El Dubya]

Chapter IV

There was a stillness as his lungs filled with nicotine. Big Dog felt the warm alcohol glow wash through his limbs. His head went loose, he felt his body begin to swim with the night falling across the darkness and floating upon the scattered city lights.

"Thah **** you say to me ****!"

A pair of fists. His shirt bunched under his chin. The glass shatters. The blood red face. The beating on his chest. The breath on his face. Alcohol.

"What?"

"The **** ****!"

"**** you **** the **** you mean about the North!"

"I play for ****ing Gold Coast you fat ****ing ****!"

The young indigenous man's eyes bulged. Blood red. Spittle flying. Lips cracking with rage. Blood beginning to cloud the pink exposed flesh.

Big Dog's eyes were wide. His brain was struggling to process the violence. He had never before been confronted in such a manner. Tears began to creep out of the corners of his eyes as his bladder lurched abs evacuated.

The warmth ran down his leg, the sensation familiar. It tingled and ran in a way the alcohol warmth didn't.

The young indigenous man shook Big Dog violently.

"I... I... get that you don't play for Norf."

"**** you!"

Big Dog saw Browny out of the corner of his eye. His eyes pleaded for help whilst Browny smiled and stood by approvingly.

"I'm sorry Harley! I'm sorry!"

His body was bent backwards over the railing. He no longer swam through the lights but looked backwards at them with wide eyed fear.

The warm fluid was pooling in his socks. He knew what was required. The Big Dog doesn't piss himself. The Big Dog pisses on others. He needed to attack. He needed to summon every ounce of strength and attack. The man of the people doesn't stand by and allow himself to be beaten he stands up. He gritted his teeth and prepared to bite as well as he could bark.

 

[El Dubya]

Apologies for any mistakes in the latest instalment, I'm half asleep and writing on my phone.

 

[royals1922]

Apologies for any mistakes in the latest instalment, I'm half asleep and writing on my phone.

Don't apologise

 

[hufus]

Don't apologise

He's been jack watts'd by duritz