Off-topic Bay 13 Survivor: Cockburn (2016). We have a winner! (links in OP)

[Plugger35]

This Survivor really is srs bsns, I didn't realise that the people voted out had to cancel their BF accounts.

Can you guys vote out Jose next?

 

[Starburns_]

This whole thing is getting incredibly weird.

The good news is that this should be the last challenge based on island events for awhile.

 

[Stronzo]

Shame to see royals go.

 

[Dinsdale]

“Challenge #2 entry.”

I woke this morning to the news that the 2nd challenge was on. We had been split into 2 tribes, and we had to name the other tribe. Then I read some of the other tribes entries. I found them disturbing and some downright insulting, especially to the boss.

So after breaking my fast with fresh Avocado on toast, and making some sandwiches for later I wandered over to the boss.

"Hey Boss, you ok"? I asked
"yes thanks Dins, just a bit amused at some of that other tribes entries, some very creative, some borderline insane" answered the boss.
"you want me to go and have a quiet word with them?" I enquired
"Oh No, No, you shouldn't do that" advised the boss.

Now a man has to be realistic. Knowing how one thing can mean another, especially when coming from the boss, I realised my course of action.

Keeping to the cover of the jungle, not venturing onto the bare hills, I made my way over to the other tribe's camp. Side stepping a ranting DapperJong "what you doin Dinsdare, you velly stlange ferrow, arways cleepign alound rike a scaly ninja" - I spotted my target. I grabbed the culprit by the throat and said "I hear you've been a naughty boy boydshow " and I split his nostrils open, break his fingers, saw his leg off and rip his liver out. He then says "my names not boydshow, I'm Haduken" so then I lose my temper and nail his head to the floor.

All these guys look similar to me, except the increasingly excited DapperJong "Aww, Dinsdare, you hurt the sirry iriot Haduken, you velly vioraent, I rike that, you make me raugh, you could join my tlibe, I am supleme reader you know".

"No thanks Dapper", I have to go and chat with boydshow.

I caught him as the quivered terrified behind a the carcass of a dead hippo.
"Now boydshow" I said "do you know that not only have you been a naughty boy, a day on Venus is longer than a year on Venus?"
"what the ****ing **** are you ****ing talking about you ****" he replied.
"Well thats just rude" I said, so I scrape his left eye out, break his toes, and screw his pelvis to a cake-stand, "be more respectful of my tribe please, during your side in the other tribe, I'll be back tomorrow to staple your eyelids shut and rivet your finger-webbing to a surfboard".
"whatever you say" he whimpered.

Upon arriving back at my tribe, I spotted the boss on a banana lounge, being fed peeled grapes.
"Hi boss, I think the other tribe will behave for a while now, would you like a sandwich, I'm afraid in my endeavours to explain myself to them one of the sandwiches got a bit squashed"
She shook her head slowly, "you are incorrigible. Now I've been racking my brain to come up with a name for the other tribe, I have the best 'thinkers' on it as well, but they haven't gotten very far" she gestured at a table where the rest of our gang argued over an abacus, a dictionary and a slide rule.

JoseMourinho Stronzo amd Duritz one one side, iBeng and Kangaroos4eva on the other, all combining their talents, while Red mist banged away on an iMac "must create a funnnnnier gif, must beeeeeat Dapper". TootToot! just gibbered away to himself in the corner, safe in his straightjacket.

"well Boss, is it worth the effort? I know we'll get an impunity thing and all, but why bother them all?"
"you know Dins you're right" said Morganashlee "what is your suggestion?"

Thoughts of further violence to the other tribe began to cross my mind.

"just call them 'THE OTHERS'"...."they'll all be gone soon, one way or another"...

 

[Duritz]

So much violence.

 

[Haduken]

Challenge #2 entry

As suprising as royals1922 departure ended up being for everyone, his sudden abduction by Starburns_ and Probsty was not. Indeed the whir of the chopper had barely even subsided before Morganashlee had leaped upon a nearby tree-stump and screeched

“Woohoo bitches! Now I’m in charge! Bow before me and my inevitable victory!” she stopped a moment and blushed. “Sorry lol I’m not any chance really, no seriously there is no way I can win. Lol!”

Everyone paused, more-so probably at the fact that she had actually said “lol” twice out loud than anything else I suspected.

A coconut nearby fell open revealing some kind of radio concealed within. “This is your overlord speaking!” Starburns again! The hobbit must have eyes everywhere on the island. Like some kind of demonic Tatoo! (look up Fantasy Island you flogs!)

“You are now divided into two tribes, there is a note with all the details in this coconut.”

boydshow fished it out excitedly. “Oh thank god a list!” He exclaimed with a little too much excitement at the prospect.

It was a strange separation of the groups, as if some higher power had looked over our previous allegiances and muttered “nuh-uh lulz” before assigning us. It was much of a muchness to me. A Cut Above assigned us roles in our new tribe swiftly enough, and I found myself paired with Dear Leader DapperJong as hunters for the tribe. Fair enough, this new tribe could work, it was good to be with a fellow Hirdite at least. We set off, leaving A Cut Above and Chappyuk to build some kind of astronomical observatory. "I just need to see Uranus!" he kept insisting!

We travelled through the jungle of the island that night, all silent but for the quiet wailing of Alfred_ carrying on the wind from the volcano “Wines will siiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggnnnnnnnn, We are fitter then we have ever beeeeeeeen!” he raged at the universe.

“That’s weally cleepy” whispered Jong, and I nodded in agreement. “He’s a complete fruit-basket, he’s a bit of a lock for FOTY2016”. Dapper nodded."What a frog!" he lisped in agreement.

We paused, up ahead was the other encampment. It was strange scene. Somehow they had foraged German World War two army uniforms and the whole scene was set up like the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Morganashlee was up the front along with Duritz and TootToot! looking like some weird cult-leaders.

“Behold!” Morgs intoned as if in a trance! ”look upon my box and be empowered!’ she chanted. Pointing to a large cargo casket positioned beside her. She opened it and bright light spilled out, like some kind of Aurora Borealis… what the hell was in that container?

“That’s weally quite the doubre entendre she wused there “ Jong said in awe.

“Just don’t look at it Jong” I whispered. “Close your eyes if you must.” Thankfully he did so. I looked at the other tribe, now cult members, who looked to be completely enraptured by the sight. They were lost to us, completely enraptured by Morg’s coffer and its contents, I looked away, disgusted by the ceremony and concerned I too should not be mind-controlled by the contents of Morg’s case.

“Bow before me! Bow before my container!”

Dapper and I fled, the sounds of chanting and crazed intonations ringing in my ears.

“These guys make Hird look like an amateur!” I muttered. We need to warn the rest of our tribe, and quickly.

The “Morgan’s Gate Cult” had formed, and we were all in terrible danger! Blindly, we ran in terror as a banner was hoisted over their encampment..



To Be Continued…

 

[Yidaki]

I'm glad I'm sitting this series out. Last series, KP and Marto tried to #$%^ me with their home-made dildos. In this series, it seems like everyone has a dildo and is willing to @#%$ each other with it.

Violence, dildos, bushie maps, and sex. It's like the Bay 13 Game of Thrones.

 

[Morganashlee]

Challenge #2 entry

As suprising as royals1922 departure ended up being for everyone, his sudden abduction by Starburns_ and Probsty was not. Indeed the whir of the chopper had barely even subsided before Morganashlee had leaped upon a nearby tree-stump and screeched

“Woohoo bitches! Now I’m in charge! Bow before me and my inevitable victory!” she stopped a moment and blushed. “Sorry lol I’m not any chance really, no seriously there is no way I can win. Lol!”

Everyone paused, more-so probably at the fact that she had actually said “lol” twice out loud than anything else I suspected.

A coconut nearby fell open revealing some kind of radio concealed within. “This is your overlord speaking!” Starburns again! The hobbit must have eyes everywhere on the island. Like some kind of demonic Tatoo! (look up Fantasy Island you flogs!)

“You are now divided into two tribes, there is a note with all the details in this coconut.”

boydshow fished it out excitedly. “Oh thank god a list!” He exclaimed with a little too much excitement at the prospect.

It was a strange separation of the groups, as if some higher power had looked over our previous allegiances and muttered “nuh-uh lulz” before assigning us. It was much of a muchness to me. A Cut Above assigned us roles in our new tribe swiftly enough, and I found myself paired with Dear Leader DapperJong as hunters for the tribe. Fair enough, this new tribe could work, it was good to be with a fellow Hirdite at least. We set off, leaving A Cut Above and Chappyuk to build some kind of astronomical observatory. "I just need to see Uranus!" he kept insisting!

We travelled through the jungle of the island that night, all silent but for the quiet wailing of Alfred_ carrying on the wind from the volcano “Wines will siiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggnnnnnnnn, We are fitter then we have ever beeeeeeeen!” he raged at the universe.

“That’s weally cleepy” whispered Jong, and I nodded in agreement. “He’s a complete fruit-basket, he’s a bit of a lock for FOTY2016”. Dapper nodded."What a frog!" he lisped in agreement.

We paused, up ahead was the other encampment. It was strange scene. Somehow they had foraged German World War two army uniforms and the whole scene was set up like the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Morganashlee was up the front along with Duritz and TootToot! looking like some weird cult-leaders.

“Behold!” Morgs intoned as if in a trance! ”look upon my box and be empowered!’ she chanted. Pointing to a large cargo casket positioned beside her. She opened it and bright light spilled out, like some kind of Aurora Borealis… what the hell was in that container?

“That’s weally quite the doubre entendre she wused there “ Jong said in awe.

“Just don’t look at it Jong” I whispered. “Close your eyes if you must.” Thankfully he did so. I looked at the other tribe, now cult members, who looked to be completely enraptured by the sight. They were lost to us, completely enraptured by Morg’s coffer and its contents, I looked away, disgusted by the ceremony and concerned I too should not be mind-controlled by the contents of Morg’s case.

“Bow before me! Bow before my container!”

Dapper and I fled, the sounds of chanting and crazed intonations ringing in my ears.

“These guys make Hird look like an amateur!” I muttered. We need to warn the rest of our tribe, and quickly.

The “Morgan’s Gate Cult” had formed, and we were all in terrible danger! Blindly, we ran in terror as a banner was hoisted over their encampment..

View attachment 205562

To Be Continued…

Aurora Borealis

 

[DapperJong]

Haduken's made me ror

 

[Probsty]

Hey Guys,

I had to fly out to attend the Emmys.

You'll be glad to know we beat those Amazing Race pricks again. Yay for me...I mean us.

Anyways, SurvivorJoe_ . How have the challenges been? Favourites?

 

[Benwah83]

Charrenge #2 Entry.

That's brilliant

 

[Haduken]

Charrenge #2 Entry.

I missed this somehow.

This is ****ing gold!!

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

I missed this somehow.

This is ******* gold!!

The all praise dapper line, l lost it.

 

[Wosh]

Charrenge #2 Entry.

Thread has been saved and the bar raised

By a lot.

 

[DapperJong]

I'm blushing now!

 

[Yidaki]

I'm blushing now!

Don't blush baby!

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

I'm blushing now!

Someone must be ball cupping your balls too hard.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Don't blush baby!

10k fine, you can't treat dictators like that.

 

[Packedlunch]

I'm glad I'm sitting this series out. Last series, KP and Marto tried to #$%^ me with their home-made dildos. In this series, it seems like everyone has a dildo and is willing to @#%$ each other with it.

Violence, dildos, bushie maps, and sex. It's like the Bay 13 Game of Thrones.

Found this wedged between the boat seat, anyone know who it belongs to?

 

[DapperJong]

I'm ready to be cupped

 

[Probsty]

Charrenge #2 Entry.

Wow.

Stakes have been raised. Great work DapperJong .

To the remaining survivors. I have nothin for ya.

 

[DapperJong]

Look, thanks for all the praise, but I doubt the mods are actually gonna let the other tribe name be the GROUP OF STINKY PIG-DOGS

 

[Red mist]

Challenge #2 entry.

Hello diary, we have been split up into two tribes. The other tribe immediately left the area to set up camp elsewhere. After a few hrs of meditation and prayer within the tranquility of our camp, I decided to scout out what the other group was doing.
I splashed and splattered my way through the swamp when I came across a makeshift altar with a crudely fashioned idol and an offering to this demon


So they embrace the Chopstck thug life. This doesn't bode well for our peace loving community.

Ahead, in the distance I heard some commotion. There was ranting and raving and very aggressive sounding talk with chopping sounds. I carefully approached the area and took a peek.
There was a command hut where DapperJong was coordinating a war footing with his cohorts. He was slapping the chopsticks on the table and being very animated while discussing tactics with his followers. They all seemed to be in agreeance to this approach.




I shuddered and immediately started back to inform my group that Chopsticks tribe was soon to be on the march.

 

[DapperJong]

I will kill you

 

[BM123]

Challenge #2 entry

As suprising as royals1922 departure ended up being for everyone, his sudden abduction by Starburns_ and Probsty was not. Indeed the whir of the chopper had barely even subsided before Morganashlee had leaped upon a nearby tree-stump and screeched

“Woohoo bitches! Now I’m in charge! Bow before me and my inevitable victory!” she stopped a moment and blushed. “Sorry lol I’m not any chance really, no seriously there is no way I can win. Lol!”

Everyone paused, more-so probably at the fact that she had actually said “lol” twice out loud than anything else I suspected.

A coconut nearby fell open revealing some kind of radio concealed within. “This is your overlord speaking!” Starburns again! The hobbit must have eyes everywhere on the island. Like some kind of demonic Tatoo! (look up Fantasy Island you flogs!)

“You are now divided into two tribes, there is a note with all the details in this coconut.”

boydshow fished it out excitedly. “Oh thank god a list!” He exclaimed with a little too much excitement at the prospect.

It was a strange separation of the groups, as if some higher power had looked over our previous allegiances and muttered “nuh-uh lulz” before assigning us. It was much of a muchness to me. A Cut Above assigned us roles in our new tribe swiftly enough, and I found myself paired with Dear Leader DapperJong as hunters for the tribe. Fair enough, this new tribe could work, it was good to be with a fellow Hirdite at least. We set off, leaving A Cut Above and Chappyuk to build some kind of astronomical observatory. "I just need to see Uranus!" he kept insisting!

We travelled through the jungle of the island that night, all silent but for the quiet wailing of Alfred_ carrying on the wind from the volcano “Wines will siiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggnnnnnnnn, We are fitter then we have ever beeeeeeeen!” he raged at the universe.

“That’s weally cleepy” whispered Jong, and I nodded in agreement. “He’s a complete fruit-basket, he’s a bit of a lock for FOTY2016”. Dapper nodded."What a frog!" he lisped in agreement.

We paused, up ahead was the other encampment. It was strange scene. Somehow they had foraged German World War two army uniforms and the whole scene was set up like the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Morganashlee was up the front along with Duritz and TootToot! looking like some weird cult-leaders.

“Behold!” Morgs intoned as if in a trance! ”look upon my box and be empowered!’ she chanted. Pointing to a large cargo casket positioned beside her. She opened it and bright light spilled out, like some kind of Aurora Borealis… what the hell was in that container?

“That’s weally quite the doubre entendre she wused there “ Jong said in awe.

“Just don’t look at it Jong” I whispered. “Close your eyes if you must.” Thankfully he did so. I looked at the other tribe, now cult members, who looked to be completely enraptured by the sight. They were lost to us, completely enraptured by Morg’s coffer and its contents, I looked away, disgusted by the ceremony and concerned I too should not be mind-controlled by the contents of Morg’s case.

“Bow before me! Bow before my container!”

Dapper and I fled, the sounds of chanting and crazed intonations ringing in my ears.

“These guys make Hird look like an amateur!” I muttered. We need to warn the rest of our tribe, and quickly.

The “Morgan’s Gate Cult” had formed, and we were all in terrible danger! Blindly, we ran in terror as a banner was hoisted over their encampment..

View attachment 205562

To Be Continued…