25 Greatest Women's Footballers Since 2000

[Teen Wolf]

This is a thread dedicated to the 25 greatest women's footballers since the year 2000 (aka the BigFooty age) in my judgment.*

I'm planning to go so hard this NYE that it will likely result in severe memory loss, at the very least. So I figured I'd better publish all my definitive thoughts, regarding the best players of this wonderful branch of the sport throughout the past 25 years, within the next week or so.

In batches of five, I'll reveal my selections which will lineup old school style (18 on the field, 4 bench, 3 emergency).

The emphasis for the Top 25 is strictly on performance within the 2000-2024 timeframe, but I'll also do a 25 Honourable Mentions list at the end which will include some players who were stiff to miss out due to the rather arbitrary cut-off date (for instance, I'll just let it be known upfront that Debbie Lee doesn't make the team because she more strongly epitomises the '90s).

Comments, questions and similar attempts are welcome. But, indeed, one might first ask: why oh why does it come down to nobodies like me and you to lead the way with such a celebration? Would it be too hard for the AFL to put together a panel of esteemed judges? Further promote and enrich the game by embracing the pre-2017 history and entwining champions of yesteryear with stars of today?

Well, hopefully they still do. And hopefully they start using that^ silhouette more. But in the meantime, I'll help myself thaaaaankyoupp.

*Wait, isn't that just North Melbourne's extended squad for the Grand Final 3 weeks ago? Har har har.

 

[Teen Wolf]

Ally Anderson

With the introduction of televised games happening when it did, there hasn’t been a more thoroughly documented steady rise through the ranks of a senior player. There are late bloomers who burst onto the scene from obscurity, and down-on-form prodigies who quickly turn their fortunes around, but Anderson has been a slow burn from solid to good, from good to very good, and is still getting better since narrowly winning the AFLW Best & Fairest and giving a frankly awful acceptance speech. Her trend of continual improvement suggests she’ll win another one in a landslide and hit us with something rivalling the Gettysburg Address by age 33. Listed at 162cm, the only shorter player to make the Top 25 also proved to be something of an enigma to talent scouts early on.

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Emily Bates

Leaving a club that wouldn’t cough up a few bucks, and now helping Hawthorn snatch cheques out of the Lions’ mouths, is only bested as a wise career move by her choice as a late teen to stick to footy over competing with Beth Mooney for a state gig behind the stumps. Whatever club Bates plies her trade for seems to make no difference to the story of the million-dollar baby, and daughter of a Yeronga legend, who is ever threatening to elevate brave battling teams into unstoppable dynasties. I need not spend too long telling it to BigFooty, with this being the online forum which voted her Player of the Year (tied with skinny mirror image Daisy Pearce) in 2017, but suffice to say she’s jacked up her jack-of-all-trades game ever since.

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Ellie Blackburn

Always taking to the field with passion for the game as powerful and striking as each surging vastus lateralis, Blackburn is a champion vaguely from my old neck of the woods and was thus surrendered as a personal favourite long ago because it felt too obvious of a choice. Nowadays she could do with a little more love. Fortunately for the Western Bulldogs, the Casey-aligned Demons dissed the girl next door first by way of declining her inaugural marquee preference in 2016 when the signs of a heightened commitment to excellence had already manifested. Melbourne would quickly regret that decision, all due respect to Melissa Hickey. The underreported drawback of remaining loyal while others jump ship: pretty soon you’re surrounded by people who don’t care about what you’ve done for the club and don’t know what you’re capable of. If she’s looking for a place that’ll have her as an AFLW captain, I guarantee she’d be welcomed back to Arden Street in a heartbeat by Emma Kearney who, while accepting the 2018 Brownlow-equivalent, described her as the all-time Best & Fairest teammate.

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Jo Butland

The nickname FloJo might’ve been allocated in jest at first, but legend has it her mobility for a mountain of a thing made it stick. I can at least say I’ve seen everybody on this list play, though some not necessarily in their prime or even in person. So while I find it hard to believe Butland could cover the turf as well as Brea Moody, I know they don’t give out All-Australian captaincy for being a round-the-ground-blonk, no matter how much you hog the hitouts. The temptation for some might be to downgrade her mostly Cairns-based CV, except to do so would be to fail grasping the spirit of women’s footy wherein the odds these stalwarts had to overcome says almost everything about the players they were. Demerits for dirty players is a must, however, which makes the ruck selection a whole lot easier.

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Monique Conti

I want to keep these summary cards digestible and include only 3 or 4 highlights for each player, which will obviously omit some key moments, like a Grand Final BOG in Conti’s case. I’d have given that medal to a former teammate two paragraphs above anyway, but take nothing else away from this short and slight speedster whose decorated career probably hasn’t even reached the halfway point. Without the size and strength to bully contests and kick missiles, Conti is a master of exploiting the outstanding assets she does have: foremost blistering pace and spellbinding agility paired with a razor sharp football brain, which is why she is so effective in tight spaces (a modern-day virtuoso alongside Bontempelli and Pendlebury, I declared back when she had a mere 1 or 2 B&Fs in her trophy cabinet), even though I’ve got her named on the wing in this team where those twinkletoes literally do the most damage, as Nicola Barr’s hamstrings would attest.

 

[Cdog71]

Great idea.
Showing them in a lineup may squeeze you up a little when selecting one over the other.
I’d have thought ranking them would be a little more clear cut.

 

[Teen Wolf]

There is some hierarchy built in with the emergency/bench/on-field selections, and via one other method which will reveal itself in due course.

But mainly I just did what they always do with these things, which is pick the players I like and then find a way to Tetris them together.

 

[Cdog71]

Would’ve been interested to see who you rated higher
Vescio or Hope

 

[Teen Wolf]

Well you'll definitely find out who I rate higher than Vescio and Hope.

Not intentionally stringing this out either btw, I just haven't finished writing the blurbs yet.

 

[Teen Wolf]

Michelle Dench

It’s easier to find high-quality pictures of Sergeant Dench’s award-winning police dog (named Archer) than of DoD wearing a footy jumper. (That perhaps sounds as if the dog wears footy jumpers, but hopefully you get what I mean.) Named on the wing opposite Monique Conti, whose time spent with MUWFC is supported by plenty of accessible photographic evidence, Dame Michelle had the always-swooping-in-at-the-last-moment aerial ability you’d expect of somebody with the obligatory basketball background (something else in common with Conti… and maybe another famous father-daughter selection scheduled to appear later on) but also the 2000rpm wheels that would be sacrilegious to waste on a 28-metre court.

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Sarah Hammond

So many of these players had such distinguished “careers” over long periods to the degree that their lifespan extension plans (aka playing behind the ball in their twilight years) would’ve alone been enough to thrust them into contention for this team. Having already collected flags here and there as a midfielder, Hammond won a handful more while starring in Darebin’s backline, and it was only a knee injury during Round 1 of VFLW 2017—cruelly cutting her footy days short at age 41—which prevented her from claiming a 12th premiership in 17 years. The ultimate crowning moment came in 2009 involving a Grand Final and triumph over early injury. And I’m not going to flout football folklore convention by describing it as anything less than a broken hand, shattered into dozens of pieces, amputated and reattached in the quarter-time huddle.

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Tayla Harris

An icon in the truest sense of the word who achieved more in the game, and did more for the game, by age 17 than what the tall poppy choppers could ever manage in a million years. Losers who have never done anything but knock. And I’m delighted to announce there’s never been a monument erected to the memory of a critic. Juxtapose the snipes taken at her (some even by Bitter Bettys among the women’s football inner sanctum) in contrast to Matilda Scholz’s recent anecdote about receiving support from the AFLW-idol-to-many, and it’s clear Harris is not just a great athlete but also a great person. A fine footballer too with a sweet boot and a firm grasp on valuable overhead skills, and whose CHF position could only be taken by a few players named elsewhere in this team. Sure there are excluded full-forwards and flankers who are great in their own right, but nobody has held down the hardest patch of grass better for longer.

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Nikki Harwood

Once again there is something to be said for longevity and influence, and who doesn’t love a success story involving an epic journey across the Nullarbor. Not a mere premiership captain pfft, but a premiership playing coach for multiple West Australian state league clubs, Harwood has always been known as somebody who works hard, plays hard. Looks hard and even sounds hard. Her surname sounds hard, that is. Her commentary, however, is nowhere near as hard to listen to as that of fellow back pocket candidate Chyloe Kurdas.

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Anne Hatchard

The SANFLW B&F medal she retroactively won for North Adelaide was at a time well after state leagues ruled, hence excluded from the top highlights, but nevertheless deserves summoning in any compendium dedicated to quirky football yarns of the 21st century. I also got a chuckle from an interview Hatchard did on SA radio last year wherein, upon being asked about playing alongside Ebony Marinoff, she casually but earnestly noted the rarity of having “two stars in the same midfield”! What could be construed as a surprising lack of modesty in actuality serves as the same unfiltered introspective honesty which motivated her to, as quoted in another radio interview, “eat less crap” and get serious about living up to the name she made for herself as a junior. I suspect we aren’t getting the whole truth about her plantar fasciitis issues though, because even though she was handball happy back in 2019, her kicking nowadays looks immeasurably more painful.

 

[CURVE]

No Jasmine Garner?

 

[Teen Wolf]

Neither Nicole or any other brand of Garner is among the first 10 players called up to the daïs.

Monique Conti, whose time spent with MUWFC is supported by plenty of accessible photographic evidence,

This one where she's 14 but looks about 8 always seems funny to me for some reason: