The Gold Lurgie
Comment by Anita Quigley
April 05, 2006
KATE Ritchie has finally been nominated for a Logie. Is it because she deserves it for being a great actor? Or is it for perseverance for playing Sally in Home And Away for 18 long insufferable years? It has to be the latter, doesn't it?
If there is a TV heaven there will be no annual Logie Awards to endure. That is saved for the poor souls who go to hell - where it is on permanent loop.
This year's Logies marks 50 years of Australian TV.
Notice I didn't say "celebrates" - because there is very little to celebrate.
It marks the fact there are no good Australian dramas (except for Love My Way); there are no good Australian comedies (except for We Can Be Heroes); and there are no good Australian documentaries (we couldn't even find the elusive Japanese midget submarine in Foxtel's M24: The Last Sunrise).
Anything that is entertaining has been imported from the US, Britain or Kazakhstan.
The proof is partly in the ratings and entirely in Ritchie's competition for TV's top prize.
Let's just look at the other seven contenders vying to be crowned Australia's best television talent.
Two are cast members of the mind-numbingly banal Home and Away - Bec "I can't sell enough pics of my baby" Cartwright and Ada Nicodemou.
Then there's John Wood - for an axed program; Bert Newton - for being a mutant sexagenarian; Natalie Bassingthwaighte - I keep seeing her name in the gossip pages for attending the opening of an envelope, but have no idea who she is; Rove McManus - for his eponymous show that rates so badly it just made the Top 100 last week coming in a dismal No.92; and Bridie Carter - for McLeod's Daughters, which is basically one long advertisement for RM Williams clothes.
It seems most of our acting talent pool has fled overseas chasing fame, US dollars and better-written scripts.
Some of the thespians who remain blame reality TV for being forced to make ads plugging vitamins and pasta.
But instead of blaming the networks and production companies, viewers must also take some of the heat for the woeful programs on offer.
After all, you are the dills watching them and therefore making them ratings winnings.
We are a nation addicted to McDonald's TV and deserve the poor diet it serves up.
According to last week's ratings the third most-watched program in homes across the country with nearly two million viewers was the fourth series of Dancing With The Stars.
A show which made a woman a "star" because of her cricketing husband's infidelities.
The next most popular Australian program, news and current affairs aside, was The Biggest Loser.
The 1.4 million of you who tuned in may think it is inspirational television, but it is merely a chance to see grossly overweight people complete tasks like circus animals on the verge of a heart attack.
As a child I watched the Logies because it was an excuse to stay up past my normal bedtime. Now that I have been able to set my own bedtime for the past few months I rarely watch anything aside from the ABC, SBS or The OC.
Such is the continuous homegrown rubbish I am on the verge of turning into one of those really weird people who boast about no longer owning a television.
Let's face it, the Logies is for children, with 10 of the awards decided by the juvenile readers of TV Week.
And this year the Nine Network has introduced voting by text message for the Gold Logie, which will only bring the demographic down further.
How proud the lucky winner will be knowing that they were chosen as the 2006 legend of Australian television by pimply-faced, mobile-phone addicted pubescents.
That being the case, Blue Heelers' John Wood can be sure his 10th nomination is going to end like the previous nine - just a nomination.
That is of course unless the same sympathetic Australian audience who got Simone Warne through the first four rounds of Dancing with the Stars decides to vote for him.
And while the average voter isn't old enough to know it has been 22 years since Bert Newton won his last Gold Logie, old Moonface's horror hair transplants should be enough to scare them off.
The most exciting aspect to Australia's "night-of-nights" is the Yank, imported to try to add glamour to a tired old event. This year's visiting American star has yet to be announced, but fingers crossed it's not Don Lane.
Such is the dire state of the Australian television industry's big bash I'd even take a drunk Michael Cole again - if he's still alive.
More importantly, the 2006 TV Week Logie Awards is still without a host. From the armchair where I'm sitting it's never too late to call the whole thing off.
http://entertainment.news.com.au/story/0,10221,18711994-10229,00.html
Comment by Anita Quigley
April 05, 2006
KATE Ritchie has finally been nominated for a Logie. Is it because she deserves it for being a great actor? Or is it for perseverance for playing Sally in Home And Away for 18 long insufferable years? It has to be the latter, doesn't it?
If there is a TV heaven there will be no annual Logie Awards to endure. That is saved for the poor souls who go to hell - where it is on permanent loop.
This year's Logies marks 50 years of Australian TV.
Notice I didn't say "celebrates" - because there is very little to celebrate.
It marks the fact there are no good Australian dramas (except for Love My Way); there are no good Australian comedies (except for We Can Be Heroes); and there are no good Australian documentaries (we couldn't even find the elusive Japanese midget submarine in Foxtel's M24: The Last Sunrise).
Anything that is entertaining has been imported from the US, Britain or Kazakhstan.
The proof is partly in the ratings and entirely in Ritchie's competition for TV's top prize.
Let's just look at the other seven contenders vying to be crowned Australia's best television talent.
Two are cast members of the mind-numbingly banal Home and Away - Bec "I can't sell enough pics of my baby" Cartwright and Ada Nicodemou.
Then there's John Wood - for an axed program; Bert Newton - for being a mutant sexagenarian; Natalie Bassingthwaighte - I keep seeing her name in the gossip pages for attending the opening of an envelope, but have no idea who she is; Rove McManus - for his eponymous show that rates so badly it just made the Top 100 last week coming in a dismal No.92; and Bridie Carter - for McLeod's Daughters, which is basically one long advertisement for RM Williams clothes.
It seems most of our acting talent pool has fled overseas chasing fame, US dollars and better-written scripts.
Some of the thespians who remain blame reality TV for being forced to make ads plugging vitamins and pasta.
But instead of blaming the networks and production companies, viewers must also take some of the heat for the woeful programs on offer.
After all, you are the dills watching them and therefore making them ratings winnings.
We are a nation addicted to McDonald's TV and deserve the poor diet it serves up.
According to last week's ratings the third most-watched program in homes across the country with nearly two million viewers was the fourth series of Dancing With The Stars.
A show which made a woman a "star" because of her cricketing husband's infidelities.
The next most popular Australian program, news and current affairs aside, was The Biggest Loser.
The 1.4 million of you who tuned in may think it is inspirational television, but it is merely a chance to see grossly overweight people complete tasks like circus animals on the verge of a heart attack.
As a child I watched the Logies because it was an excuse to stay up past my normal bedtime. Now that I have been able to set my own bedtime for the past few months I rarely watch anything aside from the ABC, SBS or The OC.
Such is the continuous homegrown rubbish I am on the verge of turning into one of those really weird people who boast about no longer owning a television.
Let's face it, the Logies is for children, with 10 of the awards decided by the juvenile readers of TV Week.
And this year the Nine Network has introduced voting by text message for the Gold Logie, which will only bring the demographic down further.
How proud the lucky winner will be knowing that they were chosen as the 2006 legend of Australian television by pimply-faced, mobile-phone addicted pubescents.
That being the case, Blue Heelers' John Wood can be sure his 10th nomination is going to end like the previous nine - just a nomination.
That is of course unless the same sympathetic Australian audience who got Simone Warne through the first four rounds of Dancing with the Stars decides to vote for him.
And while the average voter isn't old enough to know it has been 22 years since Bert Newton won his last Gold Logie, old Moonface's horror hair transplants should be enough to scare them off.
The most exciting aspect to Australia's "night-of-nights" is the Yank, imported to try to add glamour to a tired old event. This year's visiting American star has yet to be announced, but fingers crossed it's not Don Lane.
Such is the dire state of the Australian television industry's big bash I'd even take a drunk Michael Cole again - if he's still alive.
More importantly, the 2006 TV Week Logie Awards is still without a host. From the armchair where I'm sitting it's never too late to call the whole thing off.
http://entertainment.news.com.au/story/0,10221,18711994-10229,00.html
How unfunny.........
