The only joke I know

[Dipper]

Ok, I first heard this joke when I was about 8 & it along with one other joke from around the same time are just about the only 2 jokes that I know.

Whenever I tell this joke it makes me laugh but for some reason other people don't seem to find it as funny & in certain circles there's a definite sense that they have a lower opinion of me at the end of it than they did before I started on it.

So here goes:

There were these 2 English explorers in deepest darkest Africa about 100 years ago, they were exploring areas that no white man had ever been, with the help of a native guide/interpreter.

Suddenly they were surrounded by some vicious looking natives who took them to a village, all the people of the village came out & a fierce looking chief, shouted something to the native guide.

The guide turned to the first Englishman & said 'The chief asks you do you want death or bunda?'

The explorer looks a bit confused & then says 'well I'll take bunda of course', at this point a bit of a cheer goes up from the villagers & 10 or so of the biggest young men of the village grab him , rip off all his clothes & take it in turn to have their way with him in a most brutal manner , at the end they give him his clothes & let him go, he looks a forlorn & broken figure as he staggers from the village.

The chief speaks to the guide again & the guide turns to the second explorer & says 'The chief he say what do you want, death or bunda?', the Englishman looks at his guide & says 'There's no way I can go through that, I choose death & I'll damn well die like an Englsihman'

The guide turns to the chief & relays the message & the chief replies by shouting something out triumphantly & the whole village start cheering & dancing.

'What did he say' asks the Englishman, his guide turns to face him with a look of terror on his face 'The chief he say............ DEATH BY BUNDA'

 

[Socrates2]

Ok, I first heard this joke when I was about 8 & it along with one other joke from around the same time are just about the only 2 jokes that I know.

Whenever I tell this joke it makes me laugh but for some reason other people don't seem to find it as funny & in certain circles there's a definite sense that they have a lower opinion of me at the end of it than they did before I started on it.

So here goes:

There were these 2 English explorers in deepest darkest Africa about 100 years ago, they were exploring areas that no white man had ever been, with the help of a native guide/interpreter.

Suddenly they were surrounded by some vicious looking natives who took them to a village, all the people of the village came out & a fierce looking chief, shouted something to the native guide.

The guide turned to the first Englishman & said 'The chief asks you do you want death or bunda?'

The explorer looks a bit confused & then says 'well I'll take bunda of course', at this point a bit of a cheer goes up from the villagers & 10 or so of the biggest young men of the village grab him , rip off all his clothes & take it in turn to have their way with him in a most brutal manner , at the end they give him his clothes & let him go, he looks a forlorn & broken figure as he staggers from the village.

The chief speaks to the guide again & the guide turns to the second explorer & says 'The chief he say what do you want, death or bunda?', the Englishman looks at his guide & says 'There's no way I can go through that, I choose death & I'll damn well die like an Englsihman'

The guide turns to the chief & relays the message & the chief replies by shouting something out triumphantly & the whole village start cheering & dancing.

'What did he say' asks the Englishman, his guide turns to face him with a look of terror on his face 'The chief he say............ DEATH BY BUNDA'

Yeah nah it's not bad .Here's a short one, Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

 

[Milkshaker]

Ok, I first heard this joke when I was about 8 & it along with one other joke from around the same time are just about the only 2 jokes that I know.

Whenever I tell this joke it makes me laugh but for some reason other people don't seem to find it as funny & in certain circles there's a definite sense that they have a lower opinion of me at the end of it than they did before I started on it.

So here goes:

There were these 2 English explorers in deepest darkest Africa about 100 years ago, they were exploring areas that no white man had ever been, with the help of a native guide/interpreter.

Suddenly they were surrounded by some vicious looking natives who took them to a village, all the people of the village came out & a fierce looking chief, shouted something to the native guide.

The guide turned to the first Englishman & said 'The chief asks you do you want death or bunda?'

The explorer looks a bit confused & then says 'well I'll take bunda of course', at this point a bit of a cheer goes up from the villagers & 10 or so of the biggest young men of the village grab him , rip off all his clothes & take it in turn to have their way with him in a most brutal manner , at the end they give him his clothes & let him go, he looks a forlorn & broken figure as he staggers from the village.

The chief speaks to the guide again & the guide turns to the second explorer & says 'The chief he say what do you want, death or bunda?', the Englishman looks at his guide & says 'There's no way I can go through that, I choose death & I'll damn well die like an Englsihman'

The guide turns to the chief & relays the message & the chief replies by shouting something out triumphantly & the whole village start cheering & dancing.

'What did he say' asks the Englishman, his guide turns to face him with a look of terror on his face 'The chief he say............ DEATH BY BUNDA'

There was an English explorer and his native guide in deepest darkest Africa about 100 years ago, who were exploring areas that no white man had ever been.

Suddenly they were surrounded by some vicious looking natives who took them to a village, all the people of the village came out & a fierce looking chief, spoke to the native guide.

The guide turned to the first Englishman & said 'The chief says they are going to eat you unless you can complete three challenges.'

Petrified the Englishman agrees to the challenges as opposed to being eaten.

He is lead to three huts. The guide again is spoken to by the chief as all the villagers gather around.

The guide says, "In the first hut is a beverage that will empower you. In the second, a Lion with a string around its rotten tooth. Remove the tooth. In the third hut is a nubile female villager who has never been satisfied by any man. Satisfy her. "

The Englishman walks into the first hut and sees a bowl that contains at least two litres of liquid. Its not pleasant and it take him a couple of hours to drink it all.

The village waits patiently and eventually the Englishman staggers out of the hut inebriated beyond belief but without hesitation, he bravely walks into the second hut. There is screaming and roaring, dust and straw come from the window openings for 30 minutes maybe more. Then all goes quiet.

The Englishman eventually crawls out of the second hut, broken, his clothes torn and body bloodied. He stands up unsteadily, looks straight at the chief and says, "Now where is that woman with the rotten tooth!"

 

[STFU Donnie]

There was an English explorer and his native guide in deepest darkest Africa about 100 years ago, who were exploring areas that no white man had ever been.

Suddenly they were surrounded by some vicious looking natives who took them to a village, all the people of the village came out & a fierce looking chief, spoke to the native guide.

The guide turned to the first Englishman & said 'The chief says they are going to eat you unless you can complete three challenges.'

Petrified the Englishman agrees to the challenges as opposed to being eaten.

He is lead to three huts. The guide again is spoken to by the chief as all the villagers gather around.

The guide says, "In the first hut is a beverage that will empower you. In the second, a Lion with a string around its rotten tooth. Remove the tooth. In the third hut is a nubile female villager who has never been satisfied by any man. Satisfy her. "

The Englishman walks into the first hut and sees a bowl that contains at least two litres of liquid. Its not pleasant and it take him a couple of hours to drink it all.

The village waits patiently and eventually the Englishman staggers out of the hut inebriated beyond belief but without hesitation, he bravely walks into the second hut. There is screaming and roaring, dust and straw come from the window openings for 30 minutes maybe more. Then all goes quiet.

The Englishman eventually crawls out of the second hut, broken, his clothes torn and body bloodied. He stands up unsteadily, looks straight at the chief and says, "Now where is that woman with the rotten tooth!"

That really is the only joke you know.

 

[Milkshaker]

That really is the only joke you know.

Nah just mimicking the ops joke.