Official SFA Royal Rumble III - Main Event

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You've needed my help on your last two eliminations, ClarkeM. It's obvious you don't have the strength any longer to finish people off - or, as your last response conveniently ignoring me suggests, you just can't be bothered. It's clear you've lost the capability to match it with the best, which means you're not going to match it with me.

I'm surprised a pretender such as yourself has lasted to the final two. But that's as far as you'll go.
 
Oh, and...
How in TigerGlory's name does Eth get credited for Gee Dub's elimination when he never posted a single thing against him? Please explain okeydoke7 boncer34
...you know the last two people to have a cry over the Rumble in Juggalo Balla and Gee Dub were eliminated, correct?

You've nailed the trifecta.
 
Thanks for supporting the comparison of myself to Charles Kelly and I’ll continue to stick to my comparison of yourself in Mac. The gif images you used from the episode Hundred Dollar Baby (Season 2, episode 5) were quite interesting to use as an attack against me. As you would know, Clown Baby (not to be confused with Baby Clown), portrayed by the character of Charlie Kelly, became a strong fighter in that episode but wound up not being able to take his place in the final fight club scene due to a beating he gave down to an innocent pedestrian. Thankfully, the “second toughest guy” that Dennis knows is Mac and he manipulates him into fighting in place of Charlie. Thankfully enough, Dennis is smart enough to understand that Mac has no chance of defeating the “scrawny dude” and instead goes behind his back and bets against him. As the script goes, Mac is evidently beaten and bruised and is then nearly stabbed by a mugger. Also, to note in that episode, is the story that Frank (The Trash Man) has with his old fighting foe. The tension ultimately leads to a final dual between the two men in the ring and with one punch, Franky Fast Hands is able to knock out his competitor as well as break the next of his competitor’s daughter. So while your gifs were humorous and pleased my avid interest in one of my favourite television shows, you would be completely silly to expect me to not know the real story behind the pictures. But how about we switch to an episode that I’d love to use in return and that is the episode that gave birth to the Trash Man (The Gang Wrestles for the Troops, Season 5, episode 7). As I’ve already used most of the gifs from that episode in my rumbling, I suppose I will not try and use the same ones again. Mac is very fond of wrestling and body-on-body contact. He’s most certainly the biggest and strongest out of the crew, in his eyes, however, he is nothing but a weak pansy when it comes to the real deal. For example, in the episode where The Trash Man comes in to save the Birds of War’s loss to Rickety Cricket’s wrestling character “The Taliban”, Mac doesn’t even put up a fight. In fact, when he is called out to enter the ring, he is too scared and decides to run away from the venue. Thankfully, the crowd is enlightened when The Trash Man comes in and cleans up Rickety Cricket and becomes the evident winner of the competition.



So we have two episodes here that have just showed why you really should try and pin me down with It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia references. One episode, which showed yourself, Mac, getting beaten up and nearly mugged while my comparison of Charlie is a no-show to a fight just proves that you can’t fight. The other episode shows Mac running away from the fight and The Trash Man, who I’ve alluded to as being my true comparison already, winning the wrestling match. This shows that not only is he unable to fight, but he has to let the true champion, myself, win the wrestling match.

Sure enough, this rambling will delight many and annoy few, but if you’re going to call me out on something that I’m an expert in, please don’t do it so poorly.

Well as you were incorrectly given accreditation for Gee Dub’s elimination, I highly doubt that you should really be talking up eliminations against the current and unconquerable leader. Looking back at Royal Rumble 1, Boncer34 came home with the goods and also the most eliminations. In Royal Rumble 2, Okeydoke7 came home with the goods and also the most eliminations. And the script for Royal Rumble 3 says ClarkeM will win the third Royal Rumble with the most eliminations.


A dwindling career? So you’re suggesting that my current season has gradually declined from previous seasons? If so, I’m not sure how that makes your career look considering that I’m most definitely beating you in a 1v1 contest this season. Let’s look at the statistics because deep down, I know it’s what you love to do. My current season is better than yours and I can prove it by showing you in a simplistic table. See below:

uJcOc1B.png


You’ll notice that I used Exie points because I know how fond you are of them. It seems that you think my career has dwindled this season when in actual fact, it is quite clear that I’m doing very well against someone who is meant to be in their prime.


It’s understandable that you’re asking questions about the script. I suppose that you have to ask however, considering that they wouldn’t have printed off the last couple of pages for you as it is full of dialogue with the judges, officials and fans as I am paraded around as the winner of the Rumble. To answer your question, there is no reference to any victory being stripped from either of the winners, Okey, Boncer and even myself. I understand that coming second in Royal Rumble II was a tough time for you but surely you don’t think you could try and claim a victory there when you’re same pathetic attempts at bantering have again dealt you a second-placed final position.


I am sorry my “shitty irrelevant content” clogged the rumble but you know what they say, if you can’t beat them, you might as well join them. The use of IASIP references were a brilliant and yet also detrimental move that I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to recollect about back in your empty locker room as I stand alone in the ring like the given winner that I am.
Sorry that I had to refute the Gee Dub decision. Your decision to not even try and put Gee Dub over the rope was clearly smart from you as it propelled you to the final two. However, there was no way I was going to stand down knowing that someone who puts a great deal of effort into the contest is weaselled out of a sole elimination when the coward didn’t do a single thing. As always, justice prevails and the story stays true to the script. It’s time for you to leave.

Ding ding ding!

chip-charlie-kelly-punching.gif



P.S. Here’s Mac testing out a few moves in the bedroom.

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Thanks for supporting the comparison of myself to Charles Kelly and I’ll continue to stick to my comparison of yourself in Mac. The gif images you used from the episode Hundred Dollar Baby (Season 2, episode 5) were quite interesting to use as an attack against me. As you would know, Clown Baby (not to be confused with Baby Clown), portrayed by the character of Charlie Kelly, became a strong fighter in that episode but wound up not being able to take his place in the final fight club scene due to a beating he gave down to an innocent pedestrian. Thankfully, the “second toughest guy” that Dennis knows is Mac and he manipulates him into fighting in place of Charlie. Thankfully enough, Dennis is smart enough to understand that Mac has no chance of defeating the “scrawny dude” and instead goes behind his back and bets against him. As the script goes, Mac is evidently beaten and bruised and is then nearly stabbed by a mugger. Also, to note in that episode, is the story that Frank (The Trash Man) has with his old fighting foe. The tension ultimately leads to a final dual between the two men in the ring and with one punch, Franky Fast Hands is able to knock out his competitor as well as break the next of his competitor’s daughter. So while your gifs were humorous and pleased my avid interest in one of my favourite television shows, you would be completely silly to expect me to not know the real story behind the pictures. But how about we switch to an episode that I’d love to use in return and that is the episode that gave birth to the Trash Man (The Gang Wrestles for the Troops, Season 5, episode 7). As I’ve already used most of the gifs from that episode in my rumbling, I suppose I will not try and use the same ones again. Mac is very fond of wrestling and body-on-body contact. He’s most certainly the biggest and strongest out of the crew, in his eyes, however, he is nothing but a weak pansy when it comes to the real deal. For example, in the episode where The Trash Man comes in to save the Birds of War’s loss to Rickety Cricket’s wrestling character “The Taliban”, Mac doesn’t even put up a fight. In fact, when he is called out to enter the ring, he is too scared and decides to run away from the venue. Thankfully, the crowd is enlightened when The Trash Man comes in and cleans up Rickety Cricket and becomes the evident winner of the competition.



So we have two episodes here that have just showed why you really should try and pin me down with It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia references. One episode, which showed yourself, Mac, getting beaten up and nearly mugged while my comparison of Charlie is a no-show to a fight just proves that you can’t fight. The other episode shows Mac running away from the fight and The Trash Man, who I’ve alluded to as being my true comparison already, winning the wrestling match. This shows that not only is he unable to fight, but he has to let the true champion, myself, win the wrestling match.

Sure enough, this rambling will delight many and annoy few, but if you’re going to call me out on something that I’m an expert in, please don’t do it so poorly.

Well as you were incorrectly given accreditation for Gee Dub’s elimination, I highly doubt that you should really be talking up eliminations against the current and unconquerable leader. Looking back at Royal Rumble 1, Boncer34 came home with the goods and also the most eliminations. In Royal Rumble 2, Okeydoke7 came home with the goods and also the most eliminations. And the script for Royal Rumble 3 says ClarkeM will win the third Royal Rumble with the most eliminations.


A dwindling career? So you’re suggesting that my current season has gradually declined from previous seasons? If so, I’m not sure how that makes your career look considering that I’m most definitely beating you in a 1v1 contest this season. Let’s look at the statistics because deep down, I know it’s what you love to do. My current season is better than yours and I can prove it by showing you in a simplistic table. See below:

uJcOc1B.png


You’ll notice that I used Exie points because I know how fond you are of them. It seems that you think my career has dwindled this season when in actual fact, it is quite clear that I’m doing very well against someone who is meant to be in their prime.


It’s understandable that you’re asking questions about the script. I suppose that you have to ask however, considering that they wouldn’t have printed off the last couple of pages for you as it is full of dialogue with the judges, officials and fans as I am paraded around as the winner of the Rumble. To answer your question, there is no reference to any victory being stripped from either of the winners, Okey, Boncer and even myself. I understand that coming second in Royal Rumble II was a tough time for you but surely you don’t think you could try and claim a victory there when you’re same pathetic attempts at bantering have again dealt you a second-placed final position.


I am sorry my “shitty irrelevant content” clogged the rumble but you know what they say, if you can’t beat them, you might as well join them. The use of IASIP references were a brilliant and yet also detrimental move that I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to recollect about back in your empty locker room as I stand alone in the ring like the given winner that I am.
Sorry that I had to refute the Gee Dub decision. Your decision to not even try and put Gee Dub over the rope was clearly smart from you as it propelled you to the final two. However, there was no way I was going to stand down knowing that someone who puts a great deal of effort into the contest is weaselled out of a sole elimination when the coward didn’t do a single thing. As always, justice prevails and the story stays true to the script. It’s time for you to leave.

Ding ding ding!

chip-charlie-kelly-punching.gif



P.S. Here’s Mac testing out a few moves in the bedroom.

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I must admit, you looked like so much more of a natural Charlie. There was the ten-minute staring contest, the ability to withstand a beating – with help from myself, of course – and the standard lack of intelligence that comes with whatever you post. I mean, he's in your avatar, after all.

And Charlie also has that paternal relationship with Frank, which would explain a deep desire in emulating the efforts of The Trash Man, someone actually successful in the ring. But you know deep inside that you, like Charlie, will not ever win in the ring, roided and boozed up and all. It has not happened before, it will not happen in the future and it most certainly will not happen while I am here.

Oh, and there's a love of trash, hey?

RDIE0Mp.gif


You must be falling in love with your posts, in that case.

Now, you certainly must know you are handing me a steel chair and sticking your head out by posting stats.

You have been a rover all season, correct? I guess you had noticed my success in the position and decided to follow suit. That's okay. Let's compare the pair:

bN7F2Et.png

(TAR = time at rover, format = more beautiful)

Slightly adjusted for the fact both of us have experienced that blasted positional change once each, so it measures each of us for every 100 minutes in the position. You do win slightly more of the ball, correct. But where you fall short of me, the tackling and the goal-kicking, only tells me you lack the strength and the ability to have the impact in front of the big sticks in comparison to myself – in fact, you are considerably more wayward with that deadly blow. Hell, even the frees I concede tell people I just hit much harder than you do.

Now, let's do the same thing, adjusting also for games against the top six:

9yem5Qr.png


This comparison's better. While we both suffer a decrease against the better side – almost everybody would, they are the better sides – yours is much more considerable. You struggle in the congestion, failing to get your kicks away. The tackling tells you lack the same vigour and appetite for the contest, whereas mine only increases. You are correct, I too love those Exie points, also telling me your best against a top six side this season is only 74, one I have bettered three out of four times. And, as your goalkicking suggests, you choke when it really matters, a stark comparison to the deadly accuracy I have when it counts. My current season is better than yours and I have proven it by showing you in a simplistic table.

This depicts a similar tale to the ClarkeM of this Rumble – you sure have done well throughout the earlier stages, but you lack the killer instinct and dangerous nature to close it out when the lights are at their brightest and the opponents at their strongest, an ability abundant in your opponent. And, naturally, you have fallen short of me.

So, what's up Clarkey? Is beating up on the jobbers good enough for you? Because if that's all you have then prepare for the savage nature of what it is like to be devastated in the ring by the best there is in myself, and tossed over the top rope like it's nothing. And the script will dictate once again that the one with the most eliminations will reign supreme, only on this occasion, so will your sorry soul in second place.

I would get accustomed to these facts if I were you, because like your leader in PVF you seem to have a lot of trouble with them. See, you have trouble with the fact of my placing in the last Rumble. You have trouble with the fact that the stats, of course, suggest I am simply the better Qooty player. And, once we are done, you will have to deal with the fact you just weren't as good in the Rumble as I was as I stormed my way to victory.
 
As I’ve already pushed into the feared minds of everyone else in the competition from the start, I am The Trash Man and I’m not going to let a morally-depraved and sexually-frustrated Mac try and eliminate me from a contest he knows too good and well that he can’t compete with. The Trash Man has been my alter-ego from my very first post in the Rumble. As much as you think that I resemble a natural Charlie, it is quite clear that a bona fide illiterate fool could not make it this far into the competition and be christened as the favourite. As much as I appreciated your comparison to one of my favourite characters, your argument is completely redundant now that you’re trying to pin Charlie’s traits on me when I am evidently winning the competition and leading the battle over yourself.

My love of trash is exactly why I’m still in the competition. Obviously, there needs to be someone here to deal with it all considering that you are the last person left to be eliminated before I am paraded around as the winner of the Royal Rumble. I’m just taking out the trash as the days go by and my seven legitimate eliminations that have been awarded to me proves just how efficient I have been. As you are clearly aware of my intentions of emulating The Trash Man, I don’t understand why you’d try and move past it by complimenting my successes in the ring. You can’t just hand me the victory then compliment me on doing so when you haven’t even been carded yet.

And yes, my love of trash means that I love my posts. Every trashy contestant that I have spent time and effort into attacking has now been eliminated and my brilliant posts seem to be doing the job in taking out the trash which only makes rumbling that much easier.

Correct, I have played in the rover position all season thus far. No, I didn’t at all notice any success on your behalf. I was placed in that position by my captain. I am not able to move my position around as freely as you, being a captain and all, so it seems to be on the contrary; you noticed my success in the position and decided to move yourself into the same position and follow suit. You’re the one that’s putting yourself in the position each game.

They are some impressive stats Eth and I can assure you that I do value them highly and I suppose I’ll take your word for it that I do win more of the ball in the same position that you’re playing in. I have some statistics that I would just love for you to browse through also and I hope you enjoy. I will just have to correct you however and make sure you don’t get too ahead of yourself. Your current season AT ROVER is better than mine, I can accept that, but it wasn’t at all what I was referring to. You said my career was dwindling which suggest that you think my current season has suffered a major decrease in terms of statistics. I simply put forward a table suggesting that my season has been better than yours thus far. You were the one that brought the positions into it but if you’re such a good player, why is it that you’re unable to perform as well as you do in the rover position in other positions? In fact, I had a look at the little positional changes that we both fell victim to, as you pointed out, and it seems that we both were benched for a short period of time and both moved to back pockets. Both of those times were against the same competition in The Roys. So I’m beginning to wonder if you thought that by posting the stats of a particular position really helped you because it seems that I’m still the better QOOTY player than you this current season with the simplistic table that I put forth in my previous post.

And I know your reply to this will be something along the lines of “Well, I’m a better captain than you then,” and you’ll have some solid evidence when you post that little table that shows how good you are as a captain and as not captain that you showed me before trying to eliminate PVF. But I’m just going to stop you there before you do so. What is a captain’s ultimate goal for their club? The answer is always summed up in one word… Premiership(s).

I began as a captain in Season 13 and won a premiership then. I then handed the captaincy to ShaunDuggan in Season 15 and he went on to win the Wonders another premiership. So I won a premiership as a captain in my first year of being one and then I made the perfect decision by giving Duggan captaincy for Season 15 and he went on to take it all home again. Sure, your stats as a captain may be slightly better than mine were but until you win a premiership and make great decisions like I did whilst being one, you will always be just another hit-and-miss captain at the Mt. Buller Demons. I certainly hope that the Demons win one eventually as it is quite embarrassing that they’ve been in the competition longer than every other team, including the Wonders, and are still yet to win a Premiership.

Now while you’ve been a fantastic player during your time in the league, I would love to look through our time together as competitors. I’ll be starting from Season 12, your debut year, all the way through until now, Season 17. Every official match played between the Demons and Wonders has been a sell-out crowd and the fans definitely come out to see the big players perform, but more importantly, their team get the win. The twelve games between us have always been a highlight and with the long history of the two teams, it is always going to a blockbuster every time we battled.

Let’s look at how we have matched up against each other since your induction into the league.
y8TQjS7.png


What you see is a bunch of numbers, colour-coded and basically just dumped in front of you. While I could spend hours delving into each match, it wouldn’t be fair to waste time when the numbers say it all. As a man with a passion for stats, surely you’d appreciate the work that I’ve done here and surely you would also appreciate, acknowledge and accept that these stats do not primarily speak of how much better I am of you, but in addition to that fact is how much better my team is versus your team.
The table below identifies our Exie averages and although it's a minor increase, it still suggest I am better. But to help expand upon why, I decided to look at how many games I beat you in Exie points. It was a tight 7 to 5 win in my favour. However the most important thing of all was how well the Demons could play against the Wonders and that really just caps off why the Wonders are better than the Demons when we are both in the respective sides.
vq6HzOi.png


Don’t get me wrong, you’re a fine player and the Mobbenfuhrer Medal that you carry highlights you brightly, but I know that I would much rather take the two premierships that I won during the short time you’ve been in this league than a league best and fairest.

During your time in the Sweet FA, the Wonders have been very successful. As I have just said, we have won two Grand Finals and have continued to maintain the “powerhouse” status within the SFA. But I am going to look into the seasons that happened since your debut and analyse how our teams have fared over the finals. As you will come to see, if you hadn’t known already, the Wonders are one of the most successful teams of the modern era.

Season 12:
Wonders finish third on the ladder.
Demons finish fourth on the ladder.
Wonders and Demons both make finals.
Wonders defeat Demons to knock them out of finals.
Wonders make Grand Final and lose to the Hawks.
ClarkeM gets 18 disposals, 3 marks, 2 tackles, 2 frees and a goal but it isn’t enough.

Season 13:
Wonders finish first on the ladder.
Demons finish seventh on the ladder, avoiding a wooden spoon by just one position.
Wonders make finals.
Wonders make Grand Final again.
Wonders win Grand Final against the Hawks.
ClarkeM gets 19 disposals, 4 hitouts, 8 tackles and 4 frees for in a brilliant win.

Season 14:
Wonders finish fourth on the ladder.
Demons finish second on the ladder.
Wonders and Demons both make finals.
Demons make Grand Final and lose to the Bombers in the lowest scoring Grand Final in the history of the SFA.
Eth gets 13 disposals, 4 tackles, 2 frees for, 2 frees against but it isn’t enough.

Season 15:
Wonders finish second on the ladder.
Demons finish fifth on the ladder.
Wonders make finals.
Wonders make Grand Final against the Furies and win their third SFA Premiership flag.
ClarkeM gets 13 disposals, 5 tackles, 4 frees for, 1 free against, 1 goal and 1 behind and the Wonders take it out in style, again.

Season 16:
Wonders finish second on the ladder.
Demons finish fifth on the ladder.
Wonders and Demons both make finals.
Demons eliminated by the Swamprats in the first final.
Wonders defeated by Furies, turn back and then defeat Swamprats and are then defeated by the Hawks.

Season 17:
Wonders currently sit fifth on the ladder.
Demons currently sit seventh on the ladder.

The trend seems to be continuing…


If that doesn’t say enough about how much better the Wonders are than the Demons, then I don’t know what is. The Wonders are looking forward to another finals berth to continue their ongoing record which stands from Season 12 onwards of making the finals. In saying that, we all know that Season 11 was tainted anyway so we could have been looking at Season 8 where the Demons were put into the finals by the administrator but that was before your time so we’ll just stick to what is relevant. The fact of the matter is that the Wonders are rich with success and the Demons are plagued by continuous failure and once your only decent player in yourself is eliminated from the Royal Rumble, history is not going to change.

I would get accustomed to these facts if I were you, because unlike my leader in PVF, you seem to be trying to manipulate someone that won’t fall for your pathetic attempts. See, you have trouble with the fact of my placing in the last Rumble. You have trouble with the fact that the stats, of course, suggest I am simply the better Qooty player this season. And, once we are done, you will have to deal with the fact you just weren't as good in the Rumble as I was as I stormed my way to victory. Everything you threw at me seems to have taken a turn and now you’re the one flying over the top rope towards that imminent elimination.

Dolph_Bumpler.gif


Thanks for the bout, but at least try and hit me next time.



P.S. You’re only on five eliminations, not six. You won’t even reach six let alone seven, so I do agree when you say that the script will dictate, once again, that the one with the most eliminations will reign supreme.
 
Oh, and...

...you know the last two people to have a cry over the Rumble in Juggalo Balla and Gee Dub were eliminated, correct?

You've nailed the trifecta.

Wrong.

The last two people to have a cry over the Rumble was in fact Gee Dub and Easty and I eliminated both of them.

Sure, you helped me eliminate Easty but without me, you wouldn't have gotten very far at all. Your work is not going to go ignored and I feel as if you were given accreditation for that elimination righteously but I'll happily accept the credit too. Well Gee Dub's cry was planned and funny even despite the lack of foul language. He was also eliminated by myself except you were incorrectly given credit for the elimination also. Thankfully this issue was rectified by okeydoke7 as soon as it became aware that boncer34 was either drunk and/or ignorant. Unfortunately, the mid-season break affects people in different ways so I'm not going to judge a man for a simple mistake. But I am beginning to question your motives for even thinking that you will be able to defeat me in the Royal Rumble.
 
Lol okeydoke7 boncer34 I win

As much as I wanted to fight it out with you Eth, I'll still happily take the win and finally end the monstrosity that was this season's Royal Rumble.
 
images
Winner of SFA Royal Rumble III

Rumble Snapshot:
Order of elimination:
1- Ashton Agar (4) eliminated by Marlowe
2- Croweater41 (2) eliminated by Marlowe
3- Gutsybug (9) eliminated by Danger in Texas
4- Danger in Texas (3) eliminated by Igloo
5- Igloo (6) eliminated by Uncle_Leo and PVF
6- eaglesfan99 (11) eliminated by BoshtrichBurger
7- Uncle_Leo (15) eliminated by Eth and MD
8- Rendered Unsafe (10) eliminated by MD
9- pantskyle (13) eliminated by MD
10- MD (23) eliminated by Schulzenfest
11- Boshtrich Burger (1) eliminated by PVF & Beez
12- Footypie32 (14) eliminated by ClarkeM
13- Beez (8) eliminated by Noobz0r
14- Noobz0r (16) eliminated by Itsmyshow
15- Marlowe (5) eliminated by Schulzenfest
16- thefreshbanana (24) eliminated by ClarkeM
17- fumbler (25) eliminated by Schulzenfest
18- Reardo (27) eliminated by Eth
19- Bipolarbear (29) eliminated by ClarkeM
20- Rhodesy_Blues (7) eliminated by PVF
21- Blaze026 (29) eliminated by Marklar
22- Juggalo Balla (30) eliminated by Schulzenfest and ClarkeM
23- Schulzenfest (19) eliminated by ClarkeM
24- Itsmyshow (26) eliminated by Eth
25- Marklar (22) eliminated by PVF
26- Easty (20) eliminated by ClarkeM and Eth
27- PVF (12) eliminated by Eth
28- Gee Dub (21) eliminated by ClarkeM
29- Eth (18) eliminated by ClarkeM

- Credited eliminations:
ClarkeM - 8
Eth - 5
Schulzenfest, PVF - 4
MD, 3
Marlowe - 2
Danger in Texas, Igloo, Uncle_Leo, BoshtrichBurger, Beez, Noobz0r, IMS - 1


Overall, it was a dominant performance by ClarkeM. A constant throughout the rumble, Clarkey managed to focus his arguments and absolutely destroy some of his opponents. His ability to break down arguments and dismantle them led to plenty of eliminations.

There will be more written about the rumble, and possibly more said about it in podcast form. It was some entertainment over the off-season and the best man won in the end. Plenty of talking points and dummy spits to come out of it, but ClarkeM's 8 eliminations was a dominant performance. He nearly took out 1/3 of the rumble.

/rumble.

 

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