Lame Jokes Part 2

[worbod]

You should always wear glasses while doing math. It improves division.

 

[Wallaby]

Why did the Australian Siamese twins move to the USA?

So the other could drive.

 

[raskolnikov]

What do orphans use for cooking?
Self-raising flour

 

[GreyCrow]

Did you know the Romans used epoxy to help hold Jesus on the cross?

That's why 3 days later someone said

'He is Resin '

 

[worbod]

How much did the pirate pay for his new ear-rings?

A buccaneer.

 

[rocker_oz33]

Kiwi number top songs


I want Ewe... .
Wake me up before Ewe go go.
Every Ewe every me.
Ewe shook me all night long.
Never going to give Ewe up.
I wish Ewe where here.
EWE make loving fun.

 

[Billy ray]

How does a kiwi farmer find his sheep in the paddock?




Alluring

 

[Andrewy]

The past, present and future walked into a bar.


It was tense.

 

[Grockadoc]

What does a kiwi call a sheep tied to a post?

Recreation Centre.

 

[GreyCrow]

Shania Twain sold her Subaru claiming they dont Impreza me much

 

[JoondalupJ]

Kiwi number top songs


I want Ewe... .
Wake me up before Ewe go go.
Every Ewe every me.
Ewe shook me all night long.
Never going to give Ewe up.
I wish Ewe where here.
EWE make loving fun.

We are going to a Ewe turn. Buy some grog.

 

[philreich]

How does a kiwi farmer find his sheep in the paddock?




Alluring

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them
But a search has revealed
They were in the next field
With a dirty great Kiwi behind them

 

[worbod]

I went to a Hungry Jacks while holidaying in Afghanistan recently and was pleased to see how many women were employed behind the counter. I then visited Pakistan days later and was once again pleasantly surprised to see many female employees at the Hungry Jacks over there. The burkas really are better at Hungry Jacks.

 

[Andrewy]

I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.

 

[philreich]

I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.

I don't tell Dad jokes - he doesn't like them.

 

[worbod]

What does a judge put into his drink?

Just ice

 

[RedmanWasHere]

I don't tell Dad jokes - he doesn't like them.

I don’t tell mine either.
He never laughs.

 

[Pistol Night]

I don’t tell mine either.
He never laughs.

I don’t tell mine either. He’s a dickhead

 

[Andrewy]

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?





He won the 'no-bell' prize.

 

[Andrewy]

What’s the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?



You will see one in a while and one later.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

How many they/them's does it take to change a lightbulb?

I mean, you used the right pronoun.

 

[Wallaby]

How many gorillas does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. It takes a shitload of lightbulbs, though.

 

[Andrewy]

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.




I thought to myself... "well this changes everything."

 

[worbod]

I picked up a hitch-hiker the other day. He seemed like a nice guy. After a few miles, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer? I told him that the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.​

 

[Gavin Excell]

I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.

French is so passe