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Weekly Prize - Join Any Time - Tip Round 11
The Golden Ticket - MCG and Marvel Medallion Club tickets and Corporate Box tickets at the Gabba, MCG and Marvel.
Round 10 Winner: Bulldog rick
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Just Kitten
- Thread starter Teriyakicat
- Start date
- Tagged users None
- Mar 6, 2014
- 41,562
- 39,805
- AFL Club
- Geelong
- Thread starter
- #1,052
Hello Kitty
Miss Kitty
One regret is that this thread went AWOL, it was so good to share a laugh & a lot of people that post here have a gr8 sense of humor.
This might not be so funny to all but I laughed -
NEW YORK — U.S. President-elect Donald J. Trump held a press conference this morning to announce the manufacture of Trump Condoms, his latest namesake business venture, which will feature a gold foil-wrapped contraceptive touted as having the thinnest skin ever to hit the market.
“These condoms are really something, really terrific,” the incoming 45th President told reporters. “The slightest touch, be it real or imagined, will create a sensation that goes way beyond what mainstream condom companies would call ‘appropriate,’ folks, and I mean that — big league.”
But the prophylactics have faced a great deal of criticism even before their official release. Leaked developmental records show the condoms failed numerous stress tests, with one report describing them as “too delicate to be considered a qualified option.”
Live footage confirmed the President-elect turned slightly red and grew defensive when reporters mentioned these concerns.
“Oh, I see. Durex, Trojan… they can advertise as ‘Ultra-Thin,’ but when I do it, I get treated this way? Unfair,” Trump said. “Very unfair, folks.”
“While the skin may be thin, it doesn’t mean the condoms lack strength,” said Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s former campaign manager. “Consumers can trust [Trump Condoms] will be durable even in the most stressful scenarios.”
“Never mind what these elitist product testers with their obvious agendas said in those reports — these things are tough. Real tough, folks,” Trump added. “And with that thin skin, you’re gonna feel a lot of sensitivity, believe me.”
But critics remain unconvinced.
“I can absolutely see why the average consumer would be sold on these claims,” said Michael Kroehn, senior writer for Consumer Reports. “But we’re talking about condoms here. There is such a thing as over-sensitivity. And while it may feel good in the moment, trust me — it’s not going to be worth it when that thin skin inevitably breaks and then you have a disaster on your hands.”
The President-elect responded by posting 17 tweets within a three hour time frame, chiding “loser” Kroehn and the “dishonest” Consumer Reports for biased reporting.
Trump Condoms are expected to hit shelves in Spring 2017, according to representatives from the Shanghai factory commissioned for manufacture.
Article by Michael Palladino @MikeyPalla480.
This might not be so funny to all but I laughed -
NEW YORK — U.S. President-elect Donald J. Trump held a press conference this morning to announce the manufacture of Trump Condoms, his latest namesake business venture, which will feature a gold foil-wrapped contraceptive touted as having the thinnest skin ever to hit the market.
“These condoms are really something, really terrific,” the incoming 45th President told reporters. “The slightest touch, be it real or imagined, will create a sensation that goes way beyond what mainstream condom companies would call ‘appropriate,’ folks, and I mean that — big league.”
But the prophylactics have faced a great deal of criticism even before their official release. Leaked developmental records show the condoms failed numerous stress tests, with one report describing them as “too delicate to be considered a qualified option.”
Live footage confirmed the President-elect turned slightly red and grew defensive when reporters mentioned these concerns.
“Oh, I see. Durex, Trojan… they can advertise as ‘Ultra-Thin,’ but when I do it, I get treated this way? Unfair,” Trump said. “Very unfair, folks.”
“While the skin may be thin, it doesn’t mean the condoms lack strength,” said Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s former campaign manager. “Consumers can trust [Trump Condoms] will be durable even in the most stressful scenarios.”
“Never mind what these elitist product testers with their obvious agendas said in those reports — these things are tough. Real tough, folks,” Trump added. “And with that thin skin, you’re gonna feel a lot of sensitivity, believe me.”
But critics remain unconvinced.
“I can absolutely see why the average consumer would be sold on these claims,” said Michael Kroehn, senior writer for Consumer Reports. “But we’re talking about condoms here. There is such a thing as over-sensitivity. And while it may feel good in the moment, trust me — it’s not going to be worth it when that thin skin inevitably breaks and then you have a disaster on your hands.”
The President-elect responded by posting 17 tweets within a three hour time frame, chiding “loser” Kroehn and the “dishonest” Consumer Reports for biased reporting.
Trump Condoms are expected to hit shelves in Spring 2017, according to representatives from the Shanghai factory commissioned for manufacture.
Article by Michael Palladino @MikeyPalla480.
Boxhead_31
The Greatest Team Of All
- Oct 12, 2007
- 36,824
- 51,303
- AFL Club
- Geelong
- Other Teams
- South BHFL
Yes, sadly you are right. Must be an optimist, I keep watching hoping it will get better.
Just speaking to an English friend, my reply was -
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes.. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered,
"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes.. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered,
"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
- Banned
- #1,061
Make a comeback OP.
Official Announcement: The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Emu & a Kangaroo to a CONDOM because it
more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security
while you're actually being screwed.
more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security
while you're actually being screwed.
Oh fk, too much does my head in on this site.
I love footy but I have learned that you pay the price. Hope I can avoid most of the downers because it kills 1 of my pleasures.
I love footy but I have learned that you pay the price. Hope I can avoid most of the downers because it kills 1 of my pleasures.
