Best sledges heard on a football field

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I

In And Under Tiger

All Australian
Jul 22, 2008
621
3
Bottom of the packs
AFL Club
Richmond
Nothing better than a good sledge especially when it comes from the crowd. What sledges have you copped and what are the best ones that you have heard?

Funniest one I have heard would be when in last years twos final at NNG someone yelled out in the crowd to a certain Nilma player who occasionally posts on here that he had a gunt. Not sure what made it so funny but I was pissing myself.

Personally I have copped quite a few, mostly referring to my sexuality. Can't help but to have a laugh when someone comes up with a good one.
 
Some famous cricket ones.

Jamie Siddons to Mark Waugh, who was taking an eternity to take guard after coming to the crease in a shield match "For Christ's sake, its not a ****ing test match", to which Waugh replied "Of course it isn't....you're here".

Warne to Darryl Cullinan "I've been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate you"
Replied Cullinan: "Looks like you've spent it eating".

an Healy when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner: "You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat ****!!!"

Ian Healy trying to convince Ranatunga to leave his crease - Put a mars bar on a good length, that should do it!

Healy to Ranatunga: "Why are you so fat?"
Ranatunga in Reply: : "Because everytime i f**k your mum she gives me a cookie"

Pollock told Ponting after going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries: "It's red, round & weighs about 5 ounces." Ponting then hits him for 6 the next ball and replies "You know what it looks like, now go find it"

Mark Waugh - I remember you from a couple of years ago in Australia, you were s**t then and you're ****ing useless now.
Adam Parore - Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly **** & now I hear you've married her. You dumb ****".

Glenn McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan - "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath lost it: "If you ever mention my wife again, I'll ****ing rip your ****ing throat out."

Mark Waugh - Mate what the f*ck are you doing out here, surely you're not good enough to play for England!
James Ormond - At least I'm the best cricketer in my family.

Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"

Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. Eventually Viv said, "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say ***** off."

Young batsman to Fred Trueman: "That was a very good ball Fred"
Fred: "Aye, and it was wasted on you"
 
I was at a game several years ago where Mornington, ( a more affluent suburb on the peninsula) were playing Seaford, ( probably the single mother capital of the state, and I'm sure where they invented the moccassin!) The comment in the crowd was from a Mornington supporter to a Seaford supporter. They had been going at it all day and the Morington guy had, had enough! He let fly with this little beauty, "You keep going with all this s**t pal and I'll put your rent up!" Whilst it may not seem that funny in writing, at the time in the crowd it was hilarious, his timing was impeccable and even the Seaford fold were in tears!
 

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Was watching a Healesville versus Woori Yallock game at Woori Yallock a couple of years back, a large Damien Monkhurst is playing coach for Woori - he is chasing one of the young healesville boys towards the fence right in fornt of the woori members grand stand, the crowd is suddenly silent and one of the Healesville crowd yells at Damien - put your mask back on Shrek you are scaring all the kids!
Woori crowd completley lost it and in stitches, Damien not so welcoming of the comment!
 
In And Under Tiger said:
Nothing better than a good sledge especially when it comes from the crowd. What sledges have you copped and what are the best ones that you have heard?

Funniest one I have heard would be when in last years twos final at NNG someone yelled out in the crowd to a certain Nilma player who occasionally posts on here that he had a gunt. Not sure what made it so funny but I was pissing myself.

Personally I have copped quite a few, mostly referring to my sexuality. Can't help but to have a laugh when someone comes up with a good one.
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I get them every week. Some of them are pretty funny.
 
Stanley da Russian said:
You weren't there were you beljak. That actually happened at a Mt.Eliza vs Pines game.
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It may have been said at the Mt.Eliza v Pines game stanley, I would assume after it got around there would have been several other games that it has been said, but I can assure you that it was said at Mornington v Seaford game, I was only seven feet from the comment!
 
bigdukes said:
It may have been said at the Mt.Eliza v Pines game stanley, I would assume after it got around there would have been several other games that it has been said, but I can assure you that it was said at Mornington v Seaford game, I was only seven feet from the comment!
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Yeah i actually thought that afterwards, coz i remember it was actually put in the paper after it happened so someone's obviously thought it was a good call and pinched it. Fair enough too, it was a good call!
 
One of my mates told me this one, he was playing one of his first games of Senior First Eleven cricket at the age of fourteen, when there mad fast bowler started a little bit of banter about how young he was. The bowler said look at your little kids pads and kids gloves, how can you hit the ball hard with that little kids bat. the kid turned and said to him yeah i might have kids gear but i wear a mens box!!! Everyone went into hysterics apparently, he tells me this all the time. Classic comeback i reckon.
 
A good one came my way during the finals series last year. One section of the crowd started calling me Derrick Kickett saying I would play every game for the season and then get dropped for the Grand Final. Then every time I proceeded to go near the ball they would yell out Decker. Was pretty funny.
 

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I think I may know who that was sneak. Was it on the far side of the ground in the prelim at longwarry?

Or another one you copped at LL, "maybe you should spend more time training and less time on bigfooty" as your man kicked goal.
 
saint leo said:
I think I may know who that was sneak. Was it on the far side of the ground in the prelim at longwarry?

Or another one you copped at LL, "maybe you should spend more time training and less time on bigfooty" as your man kicked goal.
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Na, it was the week before against Catani and was a Langy person who occasionally posts on here who said it.

Yeah copped a couple in the prelim out on that far wing, can't remember them though. You here people saying stuff out there but you don't really take much notice. Really only find out afterwards if it was a good one.

Grounds like Lang Lang, Longwarry and Nar Nar Goon where the interchange gates are right in front of the crowd just ask for abuse.
 
This one is from cricket but was still funny.
A larger bloke came out to bat to the remark of "Hey mate, Hit a Six and ill buy you a packet of donuts. He then had a massive swing next ball."
 
Sugars_Bunyip#12 said:
This one is from cricket but was still funny.
A larger bloke came out to bat to the remark of "Hey mate, Hit a Six and ill buy you a packet of donuts. He then had a massive swing next ball."
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Was it Bigpapa, cos I'm pretty sure he would have had a massive swing regardless of the offer of donuts.
 
BadBoy said:
One of my mates told me this one, he was playing one of his first games of Senior First Eleven cricket at the age of fourteen, when there mad fast bowler started a little bit of banter about how young he was. The bowler said look at your little kids pads and kids gloves, how can you hit the ball hard with that little kids bat. the kid turned and said to him yeah i might have kids gear but i wear a mens box!!! Everyone went into hysterics apparently, he tells me this all the time. Classic comeback i reckon.
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I played in that game, and was fielding at first slip, and am very good friends with the "mad fast bowler", who is madder than your average mad faster bowler. After the comment was passed, he didn't have too much to say, and then after the day's play, he came up to me, and was fairly impressed with the comment. Was probably the best comeback to a sledge that I have heard off the cuff.
 
Story goes like this:

I was batting, Fatty was fielding at midwicket. He goes to me "Goodie, if you hit the next ball for six, I'll buy you a jam donut."

So I hit the next ball for a one bounce four. Disappointed.

And Sugars, you are a very bad cricketer.
 
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