Media TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings - Season 37

[TheInjuryFactory]

​

#13 - Gold City Royals

6 months is a looooong time in Qooty.

This time last season, we were gushing about a Royals side sitting at #4 in the rankings coming off a top four finish and a home Prelim final as the next generation at Gold City looked bright having seen a number of their S30 premiership squad move on in recent seasons or hang up the boots. Yet S36 was a particularly challenging one in Gold City, as Cadsky and friends find themselves in dead last to kick off the Season 37 TiFmedia Power Rankings after an annus horribilis, or in layman's terms, horrible anuses. Or anii? Or anus'? Anyway, whatever is the plural of anus, well these guys just had it.

Basically, the Golden Throne is a little less Golden this season, in fact it's not gold at all... it's porcelain. And the Throne? Well it's a throne only in the sense of an 80s Dad announcing loudly he's off to read the paper on 'the throne' which was what he replaced the affectionate term 'crapper' with when he was was about to unleash an unholy destroyation on the solitary family toilet and was feeling a little bit fancy and full of whimsy.

Down 6 places to #10 at the end of Season 36, with a season that saw them only narrowly miss out on a wooden spoon courtesy of the woeful Phoenix and a horror 6 game losing streak at the Eyrie pipping them for the worst win/loss record in the comp in the last round, and the Old Boys' sheer incompetence to manage anything beyond flapping their gums. They've slid even further leading into S37 after key figures at the club failed to fire in S36, and the club hierarchy taking the speculative route with recruitment with just the one known entity recruited in Zevon from the Roys (A good pick up it must be said), the rest of the cavalry being a handful of rookies who at this stage are completely unknown qualities and a couple of journeymen vets speak to a rebuild in full swing.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Zevon
via Roys FFC

OUT:
Nil

Yes, I know the Royals recruited a couple of known entities in Footypie32 & Jhye Clark 13 and both, when up and about, will no doubt bolster a squad in desperate need of some elder statesmen after the losses of spookism, The Filth Wizard, Kennedy Parker, PMBangers et al in recent seasons. However Zevon is certainly the sole headliner here, and at least comes in with some exposed top end form as he leaves a Roys outfit who will be bitterly disappointed to see him go after looking for a long time like the natural successor to the late TedDougChris (you're late mate, where are you? Season's started).

Has Brenton Davy worked out after coming across from the Wonders? Jury's probably still out on that one, those internally would have a better idea but he certainly hasn't made the splash we might have expected at a new club. Is nahnah back? For Cadsky's sake I hope so, has been sporadic at best last season and in top flight has carried the club in recent times along with the ever reliable CakeEater & GreyCrow. hotchilli & grumbleguts seemed to have had nearly seasons in S36 but both are solid clubmen. I'm just listing names now at this point aren't I? Smartys Power is good for a laugh, SarahSmiles is still on a list, wow, I didn't realise until now.

They need more. More consistency, more nahnah, more rookies taking the next step, more Roys up and comers (but the Roys seem to have run out of those now)

Spared the shame of a moral wooden spoon by the Phoenix, they even very nearly succeeded in beating the Old Boys to it despite a 10 point handicap due to their extensive rap sheet at Spotswood. Only a plucky 5 point win against their run of form against the Warriors saw them scrape through to 20 points for the season, mere percentage better than the Phoenix and just two points to the good of the Ophidians who finished on 18 points and a deserved spoon. So when you combine the Royals' terrible Qooty with their list challenges and a light on recruitment phase in the off season and this consigns them to bottom place in the TiFmedia Power Rankings to kick off Season 37.

At least they look to be on the up after the first month of Qooty in S37, as they sit middle of the pack with a 2-2 record as we go to print. Let's hope it's a return to their early S30s form and it gives the club something to rally around as Cadsky has proven before to be a sound leader and capable of rebuilding a club, but no doubt needs some results to go their way in order to entice the glory hunter types who might be wooed by the promise of a key position post.

Individually, the Royals fared little better than they did as a collective. Spearhead grumbleguts finished an also ran in the Fred race in 11th place, with Membling managing slightly better in the Mobbs Medal in equal 7th on 15 votes. The All-SFA side was sans Royal, a stark contrast against 3 selections in Season 35. beez Trophy wise, the Royals failed to secure a spot in the top 20, with captain Cadsky coming in at 22nd overall. In fact, he would be their only selection inside the top 50. Overall the club finished 12th in the league for total beez votes.

I said a similar thing about the Phoenix last season, and while on paper the squad looks better than they performed in S36 and could very well enjoy the deadcat bounce, there's still plenty of opportunity for players seeking a change and/or personal glory at the Golden Throne, and Cadsky has a great opportunity to do it all over again having had some success in this situation while at the Wonders.

I like these guys, I do, but the algorithm gon' algorithm.

Time will tell I guess.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

​

#12 - Roys FFC

Next cab off the rank in the TiFmedia Power Rankings in 12th spot we find the Roys who like the Royals enjoyed a charmed run of success in the early S30s culminating in a famous fairytale premiership in S33, but now the gorillas also find themselves right in the midst of a rebuilding phase of their own.

Premiership heroes Dingster and Wosh have long since moved on, while even the bit part bench warmer types like zackah have emptied their lockers at the BJO post flag. But the greatest void the Roys will need to fill heading into S37 is that of their equal longest serving skipper in club history, TedDougChris after his shock retirement from the game. The saving grace of course being the return of prodigal daddy 'rilla and talisman Mobbs, who returned from an expansion dalliance just in time to pick up the reigns after TDC's hasty and what seemed a quite unexpected exit, but he finds the club's cupboard far poorer than when he left in the afterglow of that glorious premiership.

TDC will be sorely missed by the Roys and the league at large, but in Mobbs we trust.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Nil

OUT:
TedDougChris
Retired

Zevon
To Gold City Royals

Elmer_Judd
Account fired into the sun


It was a summer of surprises at the BJO. But not of the Under Siege: 'Erika Eleniak in a cake' variety. More of the Billy Madison, burning bag of dog shit on your stoop kind unfortunately. Losing TDC has been covered and while it certainly wasn't on many people's S37 bingo card externally, one hopes the Roys had a bit of a heads up it was coming and Mobbs has the support around him internally he will need to rebolster the stocks. The loss of Zevon though is surely a body blow, as from the outside I think many would have had him collared for next in line to finally relieve TDC of his captaincy and allow him a well earned breather. However the lure of a change of scenery to assist Cadsky and co at the Golden Throne was clearly too much to ignore, despite the Roys well and truly requiring his services for S37. Elmer_Judd's comical Icarus moment just tops it off in the end, as the clubman while an acquired taste does/did (rather staggeringly) boast 2 All-SFA berths to their name so the kid can/could play.

But now he can't.

It does look like Mobbs has hit the phones though, as he has called in some favours with the cavalry arriving in the form of several returning players of the unknown quantity variety. A scene I imagine looked quite similar to Matt Damon in Air, as they were using actual rotary phones in that. And that's the nostalgic vision of Mobbs in my head that I like to imagine from time to time. Also, in that analogy that possibly makes Elton Johns Wig by proxy Affleck's Phil Knight? Which again brings a satisfying smirk to my face and makes me feel safe and warm.

On field it was a 50/50 season. Well, more of a 42.9/57.1 season as they finished with a 6 win, 8 loss record to finish Season 36. While we're on percentages, despite a superior percentage, the Roys would agonisingly fall short of a finals berth to the Dees courtesy of the Mount Buller outfit's draw with the Bears and a 3 game losing streak to end the season. A situation I am almost certain that Mobbs had a bespoke meme ready for and which no doubt brought him much mirth at the time.

It was a mixed bag individually, as perennial top flight spearhead Mooch's 54 goals saw him finish on the podium in the battle for the Fred Medal. tigs2010 just squeaked in to the top 10 in the Mobbs Medal with 13 votes in a reasonable effort for a side missing the finals. But again, like the Royals the Roys failed to register a single selection in the All-SFA side at season's end, and only Mobbs (35th) and TedDougChris (37th) managed a top 50 finish for the club.

This time last season I finished crying out for a someone to relieve TedDougChris, but this season I think it's more a case of a few established hands considering a move to the BJO mid season or next to give Mobbs a chop out, or at least a hand with some teamsheets!!

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

​

#11 - East Side Hawks

Coming in at 11th in the TiFmedia Power Rankings are the East Side Hawks, who would have instantly jumped the rankings purely on the un-rebrand and ditching the Phoenix moniker alone if it were up to me, but the algorithm is far less moved by such irrational emotions and subjectivity.

But seriously, hallelujah to Callums_Guns and co for finally coming to their senses and reversing the simply woeful decision to shift away from one of the strongest brands in the competition to whatever the hell that was the last few seasons. Hate rejoices.

Part of the process was also a clean out of the list, as several players departed over the off season to accommodate a cavalcade of returning Hawks legends, having left the club in disgust at the ill conceived rebranding of their beloved club. But the Hawks are still digging themselves out of the hole they've found themselves in during the Phoenix era, and they've taken multiple steps in the right direction and look to be a club on the up in Season 37.

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Tarkyn_24
via Mt Buller Demons

Strigoi
via Dragons FFC

OUT:
thewizardmelon
To Ophidian Old Boys

DemurePrincess
To Ophidian Old Boys


Now straight off the bat, it's important to call out that the Hawks have certainly brought through a f**kload of legendary clubmen this off season in Loonerty, larrikin, Biggie & boncer34 and all return to the Sweet FA as well respected and extremely credentialed contributors to a rejuvenated Eyrie. But they will be unknown quantities in their return, and as such the more notable signings for S37 are most definitely the prized poaching of HOF Immortal Tarkyn_24 from the Dees, and who some believe to be the best ruck the Dragons have produced not to have earned an All-SFA berth in Strigoi, who resumes her customary position at the Eyrie. So 6 massive signings in an incredible off season for the Hawks, with the only question marks being just how much of that former glory the cavalry will recapture this season and beyond.

Now they've clearly cut some of the dead weight away from the bottom half of their list to make way for the greats, but some collateral damage going the other way was the unexpected move of former co-captain thewizardmelon to the Old Boys in a bit of a blaze of glory/faux retirement/possible dummy spit moment late last season. DemurePrincess has also made her way to Spotswood in her second season, but I think anyone surprised she has headed to one of either the Bombers or the Ophidians probably didn't pay much attention last season. Oh and Jhye Clark 13 also crossed to the Royals too.

With the playing list on the mend and the off field stuff starting to take shape under new leadership, they'll be hoping for the same turn around on field after a dismal end to the Phoenix era saw them win the moral wooden spoon as they were only saved the ignominy by the Old Boys LG shitting the bed all season and being penalised into oblivion. A six game losing streak to end the season saw them finish with a 5 win, 9 loss record and the worst defence in the league consigning them to a second straight season without finals.

Individually, they were yet another club to not register a single All-SFA selection in S37. In fact they last had an All-SFA representative back in S34, and both reps Dingster & Chipmunk are not even with the club anymore. Going back even further than that, besides por_please_ya earning two guernseys in that time, the last current Hawk besides her to win an All-SFA start was Loonerty all the way back to S28. Fun fact for ya.

MP_ was their best rep in the Mobbs Medal in 17th overall indicative of an ordinary season at the Eyrie, Itsmyshow finished a respectable 5th in the Fred in such a horrible season and toiled manfully, while Callums_Guns finished strongly in the beez in 13th spot to give the then Phoenix some representation in the top 20. But that was all the good news to come from a shiezenhousen season overall.

That said, a quick turn around on the field to match their revolution and revitalisation off the field and we could see the Hawks storm up the rankings as they reassert themselves as one of the powerhouses of the competition.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

​

#10 - Sin City Swamprats

Next up in the rankings is the Sin City Swamprats, who just as quickly as they had risen up the ranks to end S36, find themselves right back down with the also rans again to kick off Season 37. Their past few seasons a perfect embodiment of a dead cat bounce.

Having ranked in 12th place this time last season, with a charmed run on the field they corrected that to a 4th placed ranking in the TiFmedia Power Rankings off the back of a 4th placed finish on the ladder, much to the smug satisfaction of one (1) Kennedy Parker esquire.

But KP has since up and left the Underground and the league proper, with a swansong season completing his 2nd admin tilt as he finished 4th in the beez and he now leaves a sizeable swagger shaped hole that the Rats were absolutely no chance of filling in the off season. So as much as they rebounded on field, the reality of their list is one in transition as last season's stability belied a fragile set up reliant on their top end contributors, of which they have just lost their strongest presence. The heady days of the late S20s live on in just a few active competitors and jackster83 now finds himself tasked with a rebuild of sorts, while I'm sure hoping they can sustain their late S36 form into a consistent block of form over the next season or two to woo further star power to Sin City.

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
damicky
via West Coast Wonders

OUT:
Harvey Manfrenjensenden
To Ophidian Old Boys

Kennedy Parker
Retired


So in addition to KP leaving which must have been a kick in the pants, they also received a slight flick in the dick as Harvey Manfrenjensenden followed his idol out the door and back to the familiar surrounds of Spotswood with the other old blokes.

They did manage a coup of sorts late in the piece, as a confusing off season from the former Wonders skipper damicky saw him essentially play a game of musical chairs with a handful of clubs, and when the music stopped it looks like he must have been sitting at the Swampies as they've added him to their list under an assumed identity as the rat from Ratatouille or some shit.

But perhaps their greatest boon in Season 37 appears to have come from within, as another former admin appears to have been pulled back from the brink of delisting and has instantly given the Rats a lift, as Ant Bear has risen from the dead to resume hostilities. The Rats will be breathing a sigh of relief after an underwhelming off season, with AB's unexpected return going some way to addressing the loss of KP although the jury is still out on just how back AB actually is, given the man spent two thirds of his administration MIA. Welcome back AB.

So they may not be quite as reliant on their smallish core of skipper jackster83, the ever prolific philreich, BloodySwan and the rambunctious okeydoke7 after all, as it looks like some reinforcements have arrived just in time. But they could certainly do with more out of their list as the cupboard is fairly bare after them, although if guys like GremioPower and Hall of Famer spookism can follow AB's lead then they could turn things around very quickly.

So as we touched on, S36 was a return to form for the club who enjoyed a storied dynasty during the S20s as they managed a 4th placed finish and a double chance, bouncing back from a 12th placed finish in S35. A four game winning streak from rounds 6-9 set up their season, but of course they ultimately shat the bed and straight-setted to fulfil one of the Sweet FA's great certainties. Death, taxes and a Sweet FA top four finisher choking in straight sets.

Individually it was a mixed bag, as they continue the trend of the clubs named so far in the Power Rankings to not have an All-SFA selection last season. But they did manage an historic win in the newly minted SFACA Award, as #nepotism reigned supreme when KP awarded his teammate and loudest opponent of the award's former moniker the TFLUA-Tiger Award, fellow former admin okeydoke7 the award on the flimsiest of basis' that I can hardly even remember if I'm honest. I assume it was for not whining quite as much as everyone expected him to when he wasn't played at full forward? Yes that was it.

That said, they probably should have just played okey there, given philreich was an also ran in the goalkicking stakes finishing a distant 10th in the Fred, particularly from a top four side. They fared far better in the Mobbs Medal though, with vice captain BloodySwan finishing just two votes off the lead in 5th place overall. As we touched on already, KP was their highest beez finisher in 4th spot, with philreich also managing a top 20 finish in 12th. Their only other finisher inside the top 50 was okeydoke7 in 47th, a long way back from winning it as he had quite loudly hoped.

So the Rats will start off the pace in S37, but with some improvement from within and damicky a steadying addition to the squad, they could continue their rollercoaster ride of form in the Power Rankings and find themselves back in the top half of the comp by season's end, with their early season Qooty form encouraging and further improvement off the field still to potentially come from within.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

#9 - West Coast Wonders

Next cab off the rank in 9th place is foundation side the West Coast Wonders, having slid one place from 8th position in the end of Season 36 Power Rankings after the home and away season. Despite a plucky finals campaign after just scraping in, the Wonders have drifted from the leading pack over the past six months, down from 5th place as they kicked off S36.

For the second season straight the Wonders outperformed expectations in the Final Series, having squeaked into the finals with a weak percentage and just 4 points gap on the 9th placed Roys. They comfortably dispatched the Dragons on their own patch in a do or die Elimination Final by 28 points and pushed the top four Bombers to the line, ultimately falling by 15 points at Abdu Prison in their Semi Final.

As called out in last season's TiFmedia Power Rankings, the captaincy at the Wonders over the past 18 months has proved to be a poison chalice, with the S37 off season marking a third successive off-season of their skippers leaving the club in unceremonious fashion, with damicky seemingly pushed out after co-captains from the preceding two seasons sought free agency moves as we know, with S34 co-captain Brenton Davy (Royals) & and S35 co-captain Frothies Mcveigh (Furies) finding new homes just as the cheese has settled into Sin City for S37. Now they say two is a coincidence but three is a trend, and the powerbrokers at the Colosseum would be hoping to arrest that trend with newly installed skipper AnUltimateRessie believed to have the 'full backing of the board' as the Wonders enter the Ressie Era.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Nil

OUT:
damicky
to Sin City Swamprats

MayTheNorthBeWithU
to Baghdad Bombers


It's been an interesting handful of seasons on the recruiting front for the Wonders, as they arguably still seek a return to the lofty heights of the Dingster/Elton Johns Wig/U2tigers era prior to the expansion phase of S30-34. We've touched on the revolving door of skippers already which would be disappointing for the hierarchy, but internally only the Wonders really know if they've been the losses they had to have to move forward.

However, their net list gains over the past few seasons are arguably in the red, with only DenieD & HARPSichord to show for the losses the other way of damicky, MayTheNorthBeWithU, Brenton Davy, Frothies Mcveigh, Cadsky & Loonerty... had the Wonders held on to more of that crop they would arguably be one of the most active & eclectic lists in the competition. But that said, Dennie has impressed in his return with a rejuvenated persona and a premium position to placate the ego, while HARPSichord had formed a strong partnership with the bro but has the pedigree to make enough of a splash on his own merits from here.

This season, they'll be banking on their rookie crop to establish themselves and the Wonders will be hoping they've found at least 1-2 consistent performers from that group, but rookies without pedigree are always an unknown quantity and a leap of faith. Guys like ClarkeM, Grand Uncle Horace & Cubs2Lions will be there or thereabouts again, but the bust or boom for the Wonders will once again be their overreliance on consistent contributions from their fossils, with the regular activity of your SSwans2011s, your NinjaSwans, croweater 41s et al holding significant sway over the splash the Wonders will make given the lack of any notable recruits during the off season.

As we touched on, the Wonders were a middling side in S36 with a 7 win, 7 loss record from 14 games but did just enough to secure a finals berth largely thanks to a couple of other clubs shitting the bed. However they would yet again prove their finals credentials remain in tact as they punched out of their weight division to make it through to the second week of finals.

The Wonders had an impressive enough start to the season with 3 wins from their first 3 games, but they failed to build on that platform as they rode the rollercoaster the remainder of the season, with some heavy defeats battering their percentage along the way. The highlight of the season definitely being a 41 point victory in the Foundation Cup clash against the old enemy on their home deck in Rd 4.

From a personal perspective, it was a triumphant return for DenieD, as he saluted in the Fred Medal having spearheaded the Wonders forward line with aplomb, managing 64 goals for the season at an average of four goals per game. However their midfield left a bit to be desired, as HARPSichord was their best finisher in the Mobbs Medal with a paltry 9 votes and a 22nd place finish just ahead of former skipper damicky in 25th spot. That said, rookie skipper AnUltimateRessie redeemed the engine room somewhat to earn an All-SFA berth on the wing, alongside the automatic selection of DenieD for winning the Fred giving the club two guernseys in the side.

beez Trophy wise newly minted skipper Ressie made it into the top 20 at 15th, with a further four selections to round out the top 50 (damicky, Grand Uncle Horace, DenieD & HARPSichord) in a result that feels about right for this club.

So a minor slide from where they finished in S36 but some work to do to return to the powerhouse status they flexed in the late S20s when they were the clear standouts for most arrogant club in the business. There have been glimmers of hope from their rookie crop this season, but the algorithm suggests Ressie and co would be best pressed to hit the phones early in S37 to use their premium positions at their disposal to lure some quality to the Colosseum to arrest their recent squad losses as they find themselves in a mini rebuild phase.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

#8 - Fighting Furies

In 8th spot we find a team slowly on the rise up the TiFmedia Power Rankings, with the Furies up 4 spots over the off season from 12th ranked club in the comp to end S36. After finding themselves 13th from 13 clubs in the inaugural TiFmedia Power Rankings in S35, the Furies have quietly gone about consolidating their list after the Old Boys expansion and e-girl implosion decimated their stocks.

But co-captains omgfridge & James Colorado have since steadied the ship, and have shifted the club out of merger considerations much to the dismay of the powerbrokers behind The Old Fury Boys FFC franchise (namely me). With multiple seasons of list growth and only bit part players clearing out their lockers over that same period, the algorithm has looked upon the Furies kindly. Despite the overall list on paper being very 'workman-like', the top end quality is there and the club has found a new quirky, kitsch identity out of all the wreckage.

While on field despite their best efforts, they finished dead bang smack in the middle of the pack, just missing out on finals in S36 having failed to reach the dizzying heights of their third placed finish in Season 35.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Nil

OUT:
Brick Loosener
to Gumbies FFC

​

One of the hardest elements of list management for clubs rebuilding their list or struggling for buy in is retention, and the Furies have steadfastly retained the gains of recent seasons (ShaunDuggan, Frothies Mcveigh), while simultaneously developing their home grown talent like James Colorado & Frederico_WA into leadership roles within the club. All without a dumpster, or neck punch, or love muscle within sight.

The only notable loss over the off season was the return to sender of former now current again Gumbies list clogger Brick Loosener who moved back to his former home at the 11th hour. Bovo also moved back to Baghdad, however the algorithm didn't deem that worthy to mention at all, but I felt bad for him so I will out of courtesy.

Having consolidated that talent over the past 2-3 seasons, the next step would be to woo a high profile player from another club with an enticing premium position that a cursory glance at their teamsheet suggests they could dangle quite easily. Failing that, after a season without a notable recruit, recruiting another couple of strong veteran types a la Duggs & Frothies would also go some way to further bolstering their list.

Did NaturalDisaster retire? I must have missed it.

Now despite their protestations, the Furies did reasonably well on the field in S36 despite failing to recapture their scintilating Season 35 form with a 7 win, 7 loss season from 14 starts. In fact, they clearly outstripped their own expectations on the Qooty front, as a desperate last ditch attempt to contend for the spoon saw them miss a teamsheet deadline. Sadly for the club leaders it was a case of too little, too late to outdo the Old Boys who outshat the bed on them to claim the wooden spoon outright. But that's not to say it was a failure.

In fact, the ensuing 4 point penalty ensured they would miss out on finals despite having qualified with their superior win/loss record to the Dees... a domino effect that would see the Dees snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, as they bundled out my beloved Warriors from the finals race with an unlikely week one finals win.

So yeah, actually f**k you Furies. campaigners.

Individually they were yet another club to not register a single All-SFA selection in S36, but we know S36 was one of the weirdest All-SFA sides in recent memory so we can hardly hold that against them. Full forward ShaunDuggan finished a reasonable 7th in the Fred, but was a fair way off the clubhouse leaders for a club that should have played finals. Mobbs Medal wise, and S36 recruit Frothies Mcveigh enjoyed a strong season to finish 7th overall and just 4 votes adrift of the winner.

While in the beez, they would manage two top 20 finishers in Frederico_WA & James Colorado, with fellow skipper omgfridge giving them 3 in the top 50.

So once again, despite their ongoing quest for the wooden spoon and the form this season to match it, things are on the up at the hippodrome in Season 37. It will be interesting to see from afar if they can take the next step with some savvy recruiting to push themselves up into the upper echelon of the competition.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

#7 - Las Vegas Bears

Coming in once again at 7th in the TiFmedia Power Rankings are the Las Vegas Bears, sliding down a spot from their end of Season 36 position as we review the clubs for Season 37. This time last season we here at TiFmedia praised the Bears for their newfound stability and they've maintained the status quo with very little change over the off season.

The Bears enjoyed a sensational season on the field in S37, finishing 2nd on the ladder just two points adrift of top spot and barnstorming their way through the finals series and into the decider. Only to have their dreams dashed by the fairytale story that was the Gumbies saluting 20 seasons after their first and only flag.

But the good news for Bears fans is they once again look in good nick having split their wins and losses so far in S37 to sit in top four contention after the first month and a half of Qooty.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Nil

OUT:
Nil

Yes, before some muppet from the Bears jumps down our throats about their big marquee signing I must have missed, we know the Bears brought in former Phoenix skipper Chipmunk and yes, he's proven himself to be quality in the past. And yes, we're equally fond of him here at TiFmedia, but no sadly the algorithm has no recent form to compute and therefore does not rate his return as notable for the purposes of Power Rankings.

I know this will blow the minds of some, but if you knew a bit more about how algorithms work then I'm sure you would understand. But you don't, so you won't, and that's ok. Just know that I do, so I do, and that means that while a nice addition and I am sure there's a nice, warm and fuzzy feeling in the rooms with the rodent under the roof, the jury is still out on this one. We'll have something to go on next season but until then, the algorithm essentially says... k. But it's a capital K perhaps? If that makes everyone feel better?

No outgoings is a plus, and the list on paper looks reasonably strong, but are they all active? Are the Bears happy with their engagement? Could they bring a couple of speculative players through to find a spot for in the side? The answer to all of those questions from the outside looking in appears to be 'possibly'.

The Bears will no doubt still be nursing broken hearts and well and truly licking their wounds having pushed the Gumbies for a quarter and half at most before being blown off the park in the S36 Grand Final, ultimately lowering their colours to the tune of 54 points as the Gumbies romped home to claim a well deserved Premiership after finishing minor premiers and proving far too good on the day.

But despite shitting the bed in the granny, they enjoyed a red hot season proper, with 8 wins and a draw from their 14 starts Individually, the Bears enjoyed three selections in the S35 All-SFA side, with their greatest winning streak coming in their last four matches prior to the decider. The highlight of this charmed run being a touch up of the Phoenix in Rd 16 to the tune of 57 points. Their only bigger victory coming all the way back in Rd 1 by 65 points against, you guessed it, the Gumbies.

Individually, their leading goal scorer was Matera92 who was unceremoniously dumped from full forward in Rd 10 after failing to contend with the league leaders, replaced by JoseMourinho who isn't really known for scoring but did so with aplomb. Midfield glory hound Millky95 performed admirably to finish equal 2nd in the Mobbs just one vote adrift of the winner. While over to the All-SFA side, and the Bears enjoyed a well and truly overs of four selections with Cap, MWPP and first timers Senor M & RonnieRaven all earning guernseys for the club. They also fared reasonably well in the beez Trophy, with 4 selections in the top 30, led by skipper tony who finished in 9th spot.

So the Bears find themselves in a bit of a holding pattern in their current guise... a high quality Qooty side on field just not quite at the upper echelon of the competition off it, but arguably in that next tier down with a raft of big names and enough of S29-S30 pedigree players and a couple of upstarts of the modern era to have some of that all important youthful vigour around the place.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

#6 - Baghdad Bombers

At 6th place in the TiFmedia Power Rankings for Season 37 we find the Bombers, who have steadily been on the rise over the past few seasons as they inch their way further up the standings. Despite several changes of the guard in recent seasons, they appear to have settled under this current regime and have added stability to their list, not only from within but also sourced from oppo clubs having quietly and not so quietly transitioned a number of established players due to inactivity, greener pastures and in some extreme but quite regular cases, run ins with johnny internet law.

So it's partly based on some personnel upgrades after a surprise mini exodus just a short 12 months ago, but probably moreso based on an outstanding run of form on field, as until this season's slump they've found themselves perennially in and around the top four and have enjoyed a number of fruitful finals campaigns in that time. None more fruitful of course than their premiership success in S34 as they beat all comers to become #firsttosix.

Skipper Pugsley has a season under his belt now at the helm and has an experienced support crew around him (Jabba73, Kilroy, BLUEALLTHRU, Grav, gab213 et al) as the Bombers are known to extensively share around the leadership responsibilities within the LG, lightening the load for the unlikely captain to step out of his comfort zone and rebuild the club as they enter a new guise well and truly post the WaynesWorld19/Metalcrusher/VeinGlorious & assorted meatshields era.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
CursingFijian
via Coney Island Warriors

MayTheNorthBeWithU
via West Coast Wonders

OUT:
Nil

​

List wise, after a season of change heading into S35, the Bombers have managed to recover and recruit to restore their list to it's former guise. Having recruited ready made replacements in Grav from the Rats last season & this season adding the S35 EKA Medallist MayTheNorthBeWithU from the Wonders, they've effectively recouped the losses of Ligma & Robertio to the successors to their mantle in the Old Boys.

While turning to recovery, and they have actually managed a very rare Sweet FA feat as they've reclaimed wantaways Bovo and CursingFijian who left in that same off season but surprisingly return to the fold after just a season away at the Furies and Warriors respectively.

While in the meantime the only list losses they've experienced being the usual churn of nameless, carbon copy troglodytes they bring in by the truckload and ultimately end up delisting by the half dozen every season.

So overall, a significant net positive for squad management at Abdu Prison over the past 12 months despite their quite public failings to snare the majority of targets on their public wish list as those types seem to be clamouring over themselves to get to Spotswood these days.

So as we touched on, the Bombers have enjoyed a charmed run in recent seasons having finished no lower than 5th place - and that was in a premiership winning season it's worth pointing out - since they bottomed out in their wooden spoon winning season in 32, and they once again pushed deep into their finals campaign.

Season 36 saw the Bombers enjoy a an 8 win, 6 loss season from 14 starts to finish in third position, earning the double chance and making it all the way to a Prelim Final before succumbing to the might of the eventual premiers the Gumbies. Fun fact, the Bombers lost to both Grand Finalists in the S36 finals, having succumbed to the Bears at The Stadium in the Sky in the first week.

The highlight of the season being their 77 point thrashing of the Demons at Abdu Prison in Rd 3, as they piled on 173 points to register the highest score by any club during Season 36 as full forward gab213 starred fresh from his Fred Medal win the season prior as he kicked a massive bag of 9.4 to put the Dees to the sword.

Individually, they were well represented in the All-SFA side, with 3 selections in club spokesman Jabba73, future skipper Grav and norway blue. gab213 failed to reach the dizzying heights of his Fred Medal efforts in S35, as he would go on to finish in 8th spot overall with 43 majors which is perhaps unders in a top four side. Mobbs Medal wise, they had a top 3 finisher in norway blue who enjoyed a strong season on the field and delivered a notable result for the club in the guts.

beez wise, it was former skipper BLUEALLTHRU who with the shackles released squeezed in for a top 20 finish in 20th spot, with teammates Pugsley and Jabba73 making it 2 selections in the top 30 for the club. Grav just outside that in 31st position, with Kilroy making it 5 inside the top 50 with his 48th placed finish.

So with their list pretty much restored to it's former state after graft in the past 12 months to plug some gaps, the Bombers will no doubt spend the remainder of S37 publicly chasing a fresh handful of targets that will no doubt peak the interest of Tigerturbulance and co and find themselves lining up in the purpler and orange or whatever the AI art decides their colours are next year. But the chances are they'll retain their existing list and add the odd one or two with their scattergun approach, and that's likely enough to see them hold their rank just outside the lead pack of the competition, as long as they can shake the yips and get their qooty back on track after a shoddy start.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

#5 - Ophidian Old Boys

Season 36 was a funny old season at Spotswood, and as a result the Old Boys find themselves somewhat sliding down the standings as they come in at 5th place in the Season 37 TiFmedia Power Rankings, down from a lofty 3rd place.

Missing out on finals is one thing. But the S35 premiers completely bottomed out in S36 to claim the wooden spoon on the back of a premiership winning season in S35 no less, and it was completely self inflicted. An historic 10 point penalty saw them claim the spoon by 1/2 a game from the Phoenix (now Hawks thank christ) despite sporting a percentage and win loss record good enough to comfortably play finals after multiple team sheet & squad management infractions. Even still, Tigerturbulance and co lowered their colours somewhat in S36 and will be looking to bounce back hard in S37 seeking to go #2spoons1cup or #cup2spoon2cup or some shit like that?

While off field they continue to hoover up the competition for Baghdad types, having thus far failed to deliver on their promise to grow the competition. That said, no one can argue they have certainly become a destination club of sorts since joining the competition and the S36 off season saw them once again add a handful of poached players from oppo clubs.

Add to that the rise of club leader Elton Johns Wig to the top job for S37 and beyond and the Old Boys continue to consolidate their standing in the league even after just a handful of seasons in the comp.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
thewizardmelon
via East Side Phoenix Hawks

DemurePrincess
via East Side Phoenix Hawks

Harvey Manfrenjensenden
via Sin City Swamprats

King Tenz
via Dragons FFC


OUT:
Ligma
to Dragons FFC

Bonz
to Dragons FFC


Well it was quite the haul once again down at Spotswood over the off season, and hats off to the admin team down there who managed to dot the i's and cross the t's with all those list changes this year after a horrible anus last time round with their paperwork.

Sadly for this piece, unlike last season their squad change efficiency means a fair few less paragraphs but Ophidian Braklet for one will enjoy that immensely and may even read this post.

So to the ins, and they've brought in some up and about fresh talent from outside with EKA Medal contender King Tenz a surprise acquisition from the Dragons who've proven to be a happy hunting ground for the expansion club. Another rookie who made a name for themselves on the East Side as an anko Wosh impersonator was DemurePrincess who left the battling Phoenix for Spotswood as the Old Boys continue to do the very thing we all knew would happen.

But it was ok, because even worse than losing their sole active and enthusiastic rookie, their co-captain thewizardmelon packed it as one of the Phoenix' few active players to completely cut ties and seek greener pastures with the Ophidians. That said, a melt thread announcing his retirement threatened to see wiz lost to the league, but thankfully we both got to laugh at him and also see him reverse his decision in quick time. No doubt off the back of some kinky, homoerotic video Turbo sent him in a PM. A good get which should see the pressure come off wiz this season.

And lastly the prodigal son returned after a weird cameo in Sin City, as Harvey Manfrenjensenden returns to the fold.

Going the other way, the very public spat with Ligma unfolded very early in S36 but both parties went their separate ways and she appears to be well settled over at the Dragons, where she's been joined by Bonz who I'm told is a fencing enthusiast. But not the sport with the squid game get up and the effeminate stance you might be thinking of, but rather pervertedly stradling the metaphorical Sweet FA fence of which club he wants to bloody choose, because I swear this is the third time he's made a switch between the Old Boys and the Dragons now.

Net gain? Arguably. But they certainly have an excess of Bomberish types now that surely reaches a critical mass at some point? Oh, and did I mention they like AI? They REALLY like it.

So as we touched on, were it not for the whopping penalties, the Old Boys would have enjoyed their third straight finals campaign with a 7 win, 7 loss season with considerable percentage from 14 games well and truly good enough to qualify. The highlight of the season without question was their 92 point away from home drubbing of the Warriors in Rd 13, arguably costing the Coney Island side a top 4 finish having looked set for the double chance all season long.

Individually it was a hit and miss season, with only vice captain Robertio earning All-SFA honours after 3 selections the previous season. Full forward and selfless team man Bonz underperformed in the goal stakes to finish adrift of the Fred Medal leaders in 6th position. Mrs Turbo was their best finisher in the Mobbs Medal with a 14th placed finish to merely make up the numbers last season in the end. beez Trophy wise, they made a bigger splash as club leaders Turbo and Wigs both enjoyed top 10 finishes, with Robertio's 25th placing making it 3 in the top 30, and Mrs T just squeaking in for 50th to make it 4 in the top 50.

So for an expansion club, I guess that moniker is kinda accurate because they've managed to continue to expand their own squad list with a plethora of players from other clubs, which is actually the opposite of expansion of the league... but that was actually never their intent you see. From an activity perspective they continue to foster one of the most active and engaged lists in the comp, are not short on self confidence and they sure can circle jerk it out with the best of them. The good news is (for them anyway, brace yourselves for another self promotion onslaught in the coming weeks!!) they've quickly turned their fortunes around as they currently sit atop the ladder approaching the halfway mark, and look very well placed to add to their silverware in S37.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

#4 - Gumbies FFC

And now we're at the business end of proceedings, as we find the reigning premiers the Gumbies climbing their way into the top four of the TiFmedia Power Rankings for the very first time off the back of a fairytale premiership in S36 for Falconista and the Claymation Nation ©

The Gumbies were an unstoppable force in S36, as they charged their way to the minor premiership and a double chance they grasped with both hands as they blitzed their competitors by ever increasing margins in the finals series, culminating in a 54 point domination of the plucky Bears to salute for just the second time in their history.

This ultimate success has seen them continue to rise up the TiFmedia Power Rankings despite a fairly stagnating squad list with their elite core having come together by S33 when skipper Falconista joined the fold. Pun intended.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Brick Loosener
via Fighting Furies

OUT:
Nil


A lacklustre off season quite likely due in large part to the Gumbies well and truly revelling in their unlikely, long awaited 2nd flag saw them comparatively inactive on the recruitment front as they add just the solitary rookie and a couple of returning list clogger, clubman types. "Headlined" by the eleventh hour, almost a rehash of the Old Boys drama, signing of Brick Loosener from a much more amenable Furies outfit who were happy to pave the way for BL/Bricky/Loosey/Ner(?? ) to make his move.

So this means once again the heavy lifting will be left to the Gumbies' big four in captain Falconista, former captain Barrybran, the indefatigable beez and the infuriated GWS Goose. That said, it's a quality core when they get going in unison, and throw in the enigmatic Chat Pile and the Gumbies offer a bespoke, beguiling point of difference that has set them apart from the pack despite the restrained level of activity one has come to expect from the House of Gumby.

That said, it would have been a great opportunity for the Gumbies to sell themselves as a destination to consolidate and bolster their list off the back of a headlining premiership victory, despite the reality that it's probably another 16 or so seasons now until they do it again.

It was a plasticine blitzkrieg in S36 as the Gumbies powered their way to a 9 win, 5 loss record from 14 matches to register a minor premiership and the double chance. As we touched on, they would go on to monster the competition in the final series with an average winning margin of 45.6 points. There's no way you can look past the 54 point drubbing of the Bears in the Granny, but the highlight on their way there was definitely their 5 game winning streak between Rds 5-10 as they consolidated their season with 7 wins from their first 10 matches.

It was a selfless team effort all round in S36 for the Gumbies, and there is no better reflection of this than with their individual accolades. Firstly the club failed to register a single All-SFA selection, while they shared around spearhead duties which saw Chat Pile top the goalkicking with just 30 najors to finish well off the pace in the Fred Medal race. There was one exception to that selflessness however, as perennial midfield glory hound once again finished inside the Mobbs Medal top 10 in 7th spot and yet still didn't earn that elusive All-SFA guernsey. But not a lot of that would matter to the Gumbies, as they are no doubt basking in the premiership afterglow, although it quite clearly got a little too hot in said afterglow for Deestroy Medallist nobbyiscool who appears to have fired their account directly into the sun.

The beez Trophy proved to be another happy hunting ground for the Gumbies, as skipper Falconista capped off a stellar seasom with a deserved runner up finish, with GWS Goose & Barrybran making it 3 inside the top 50.

We said pretty much the same last season, but the Gumbies retaining their core ensures another consistent season on the off field front, yet once again the improvement if there is any to offer needs to come from within... again. But that said, with one of the smallest rookie crops in Sweet FA history this season, the well appears to be increasingly dry and for some clubs it's better the devil you know, and at least we (and they) know that the Gumbies we know and love are a collection of roguishly handsome fellows who are pretty, pretty good at qooty.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

#3 - Dragons FFC

At number 3 with a helluva bullet, we have Dragons FFC, who've climbed six places in the rankings to find themselves on the podium in the S37 TiFmedia Power Rankings. Yes, I'm aware it's almost S38 at this point but I do this to myself every season so just let me enjoy my hobby please.

I almost need to direct myself to the sign with this one. Are these guys really the third most 'powerful' club in the competition?!?! Well, yeah, of course they are. As we've established, disagreeing with the algorithm only means one thing... you're wrong.

We established as fact in last season's TiFmedia Power Rankings that this club recruited some of the league's greatest reprobates and we were interested to see how things would pan out, but those same jerks also brought great mirth to the league at the expense of the inept Ophidians and for that alone, you have to take your hat off to them.

Is serial_thrilla annoying? yes.
Is Greenery really the captain? Yes?
Is Supersuns a bit of a dickhead? YES!
Is Ligma already bored? Probably, yeah.

But I think that's the idea.

Look, they've clearly set out to stir shit, and while most of the league's feathers remain unruffled, a more sophisticated Nerd Club offering has certainly been procured here at Dragon Island in recent seasons and it appears to have finally found it's place in the tapestry of this wondrous competition.

Well, for them anyway. And I reckon that's all that matters to them right now.

Also, just quietly I think they were taking the piss out of Ljp86 this season with his milestone stuff, but surely they wouldn't shit on a club legend like that would they? WOULD THEY?!?!

I'll let you be the judge.

(Yes, yes they would)

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Bonz
via Ophidian Old Boys

OUT:
King Tenz
to Ophidian Old Boys

Strigoi
to East Side Hawks

​

An interesting set of moves during the off season for the Dragons here, as they've arguably endured a net loss overall. It's always interesting when rookies move to a new club after just the single season under their belt, and EKA contender King Tenz 's surprising move to the Old Boys was a bit of a headscratcher from the outside as he proved to be a particularly active and engaged contributor who's melty style seemed to be a good fit for the Dragons of old, but perhaps that was the issue.

The canary in the coal mine for the revolution underway at the Dragons is clearly Strigoi, a beloved teammate and heart and soul player since joining the Dragons all the way back in S28 who has long championed the go Dragons/Dragon gif posting style that seems to be employed ironically these days and despite having no clear ties to the Hawks, has clearly seen enough the past season or so to know it was time to leave as she does seem like she'd be a weird fit for the S37 Dragons in their current guise.

So the Dragons lose two active and sought after players from the mix, while it was slim pickings coming back the other way, with the old ex slying their way back into bed as Bonz returns after whoring himself spent at Spotswood for a few seasons.

But their improvement has largely come from within in S37, with the highlights being former skipper PhenomenalV1 who's returned to the fold and making a big splash particularly on the media front with SFAEW proving itself to be a mega hit with the Sweet FA public, and S36 alumni big_icky is enjoying a breakout 2nd season at the club with a foray into the media world with a couple of unique pieces proving the kid has some chops.

Having bottomed out in S34 with the wooden spoon, the Dragons have gone on to qualify for finals in back to back seasons, as their 7 win, 7 loss breakeven home and away season proved good enough for the top eight and a 6th placed finish. They would be disappointed with their early exit from the finals courtesy of an Elimination Final defeat at the hands of the Wonders, but they did well to get there at all after a mid season slump saw them off the pace at 3-6 after 10 rounds.

Individually they performed pretty well, with two former skippers serial_thrilla & T2B_ both securing All-SFA gigs, the latter even elevated to vice captaincy of the side. Full Forward Phenom finished a solid 4th in the Fred race booting 53 majors for the season in an outstanding return to the league, while club & league legend Ljp86 fell agonisingly short of his third Mobbs Medal a remarkable 26 seasons after his last one, with 18 votes to finish equal runner up by a solitary vote.

But it was the beez Trophy that solidified the squad depth they now possess. serial_thrilla & Phenom both earned top 20 finishes, while 5 Dragons in total ranked inside the top 50 (inc skipper Greenery, T2B_ & DragoDelph) It was quite the response as their top 3 vote getters last season finished higher than their best placed finish in the previous seasons' count. In fact, they had 11 players finish 100th place or lower, which was the best result of any club in the competition. A sure fire sign of nepotism sure, but also a sign of their quality depth.

So if last season was a season of sussing out just how much shit they could stir, then this season is certainly one of consolidation and gentrification, as the Sweet FA equivalent of a pack of eshays look to establish themselves as a mainstream, major player in the Sweet FA landscape with this current crop of mercurial misfits.