Media TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings - Season 36

[TheInjuryFactory]

TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings
Season 36
(Yes, I never bloody learn. Here's this season's high effort, low reward club assessing media piece I pump out every f**king season to varying levels of completion. Will i finish it? Your guess is as good as mine)

Yes welcome back ladies & Gentlemen to the TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings for another season of analysis as we run the rule over the Sweet FA landscape and assess the minutiae of our wondrous competition to separate the haves and the have nots.

The TiFmedia algorithm has been hard at work, fastidiously crunching the numbers this pre-season to once again deliver us the definitive Sweet FA Power Rankings for each club at the dawn of Season 36.

We have once again employed our complex algorithm to accurately assess the quantitative & qualitative value of each club, and apply a real-time Power Ranking for each based on every facet of the competition. From posting prowess, to leadership, recruitment growth and sustainability to identifying their current long term Qooty form, the TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings are the much anticipated answer to the question of which clubs are thriving, who is surviving and who is absolutely battling to string a sentence together and put it together on the park to boot.

This is the only Sweet FA Power Rankings worth consulting for Season 36.
(Unless nahnah does his of course. I always do quite well in that one. Big fan.)

If you disagree with the algorithm, you are wrong.

Spoiler: End of Season 35 Rankings

​

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

TiFmedia Power Rankings - Season 36

#1 - Coney Island Warriors

#2 - Mt Buller Demons

#3 - Ophidian Old Boys

#4 - Gold City Royals

#5 - West Coast Wonders

#6 - Gumbies FFC

#7 - Las Vegas Bears

#8 - Dragons FFC

#9 - Baghdad Bombers

#10 - Fighting Furies

#11 - Roys FFC

#12 - Sin City Swamprats

#13 - East Side Phoenix ​

 

[Greenery]

OOBs and Gumbies were in the top 3?

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

OOBs and Gumbies in the top 3?

Even I was shocked.

 

[Braklet]

OOBs and Gumbies were in the top 3?

You mean the PREMIER OOBs? Yeah!

You should know, you were on the team.

 

[Greenery]

You mean the PREMIER OOBs? Yeah!

You should know, you were on the team.

Oh yes, I do not believe the OOBs lost when I was there.

 

[Braklet]

Oh yes, I do not believe the OOBs lost when I was there.

It's good when a team gels, isn't it?

 

[Greenery]

It's good when a team gels, isn't it?

Its a wonderful thing my friend.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

#13 - East Side Phoenix

So the first cab off the rank will be unlikely to surprise, as we find the rebuilding East Side Phoenix remaining at the foot of the TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings having finished the season ranked 13th out of...

You guessed it. 13 teams.

It must be said, I have just had the pleasure of enjoying a week at the Eyrie. And I have to admit it, I had a nice little time. I think all of us did actually. But Qooty clubs weren't made to be nice really, were they? And nothing screams 'POWER' like being polite and well meaning right? WRONG.

Now we touched on it in last season's Power Rankings, but the whole 'Phoenix thing' really did a number not only on their branding and legacy, but more importantly, on their club identity. But we here at TiFmedia are not seeking to sink the boot in where it's not helpful. The algorithm suggests the Phoenix are still in the throes of a rebirth if you will, and assures us that the smouldering is NOT that of a dumpster fire, because the fire would well and truly have burned out by now I'd say.

But not in time for the TiFmedia Power Rankings and our ruthless algorithm unfortunately.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Callums_Guns
via Mt Buller Demons


OUT:
eth-dog
Retired

​

And so our algorithm forensically examined the state of the East Side list, and in particular the outgoings over the past two seasons which the club have to this point failed to recover from in any way, shape or form. While their peers at the foot of the TiFmedia Power Ranking stakes have all taken noticeable steps to rise up the ranks.

​

Few clubs could weather losing a glut of players of the ilk of Hall of Fame Immortal Dingster, seasoned former skippers Chipmunk and MWPP and the reliable recently retired SFA veteran eth-dog in successive seasons, let alone one still reeling from the suite of departures a direct result of the ill-fated rebrand such as yet another Hall of Fame Immortal Hate who was absolutely scathing of the rebranding at the time, club legends and fellow Hall of Famers larrikin & Biggie who left in disgust and even the S30 EKA Medallist PMBangers was another to vacate lockers at the Eyrie and realistically none of the above have been replaced to any great extent.

But to be fair to thewizardmelon & por_please_ya, they weathered some early season strife in Season 35 and the worm began to turn slowly last season with the in-season recruitment of league returnee and bon vivant The Majestic, and they have secured the services of the eccentric nomad Callums_Guns so perhaps there's some green shoots developing on the East Side after all.

Saved the ignominy of missing out on finals due to a teamsheet penalty by mere percentage, the Phoenix endured a middling season that saw them narrowly miss out on finals with an 8-8 record at the completion of the home and away season. Combine this with their list woes and dearth of significant recruitment in the off season and this consigns them to bottom place in the TiFmedia Power Rankings to kick off Season 36.

They'll be hoping for a resurgent S36 at the Eyrie as they look to build a platform to entice quality back to the East Side, yet a lack of individual success in Season 35 realistically belied the opportunity they present to a glory hound type looking to secure a full forward or ruck rover position.

Hall of Famer Itsmyshow had a poor season up forward, finishing 11th overall in the Fred, however he has just kicked his 800th career goal to give the Phoenix fans something to crow about early on this season. But to be fair to IMS, they didn't fare any better in the Mobbs Medal, MP_ would finish equal 10th overall. Nor the All-SFA side where they failed to register a single selection. beez Trophy wise, co-captains thewizardmelon & por_please_ya would finish 24th & 27th respectively, yet overall the club would finish 12th for total beez votes.

Still, there's plenty of opportunity for those seeking a change and/or personal glory at the Eyrie, and the Phoenix present a unique challenge for their skippers who are another season wiser and more experienced at the helm. The Qooty gods could well deliver the Phoenix a change of fortune in S36 and we watch with fascination to see just how quickly they can ignite the embers into something approaching an inferno from the smouldering ashes of the East Side rebirth.

Man. It's just a terrible, terrible trope isn't it.

#geauxhawks

 

[Hate]

#13 - East Side Phoenix

So the first cab off the rank will be unlikely to surprise, as we find the rebuilding East Side Phoenix remaining at the foot of the TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings having finished the season ranked 13th out of...

You guessed it. 13 teams.

It must be said, I have just had the pleasure of enjoying a week at the Eyrie. And I have to admit it, I had a nice little time. I think all of us did actually. But Qooty clubs weren't made to be nice really, were they? And nothing screams 'POWER' like being polite and well meaning right? WRONG.

Now we touched on it in last season's Power Rankings, but the whole 'Phoenix thing' really did a number not only on their branding and legacy, but more importantly, on their club identity. But we here at TiFmedia are not seeking to sink the boot in where it's not helpful. The algorithm suggests the Phoenix are still in the throes of a rebirth if you will, and assures us that the smouldering is NOT that of a dumpster fire, because the fire would well and truly have burned out by now I'd say.

But not in time for the TiFmedia Power Rankings and our ruthless algorithm unfortunately.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Callums_Guns
via Mt Buller Demons


OUT:
eth-dog
Retired

​

And so our algorithm forensically examined the state of the East Side list, and in particular the outgoings over the past two seasons which the club have to this point failed to recover from in any way, shape or form. While their peers at the foot of the TiFmedia Power Ranking stakes have all taken noticeable steps to rise up the ranks.

​

Few clubs could weather losing a glut of players of the ilk of Hall of Fame Immortal Dingster, seasoned former skippers Chipmunk and MWPP and the reliable recently retired SFA veteran eth-dog in successive seasons, let alone one still reeling from the suite of departures a direct result of the ill-fated rebrand such as yet another Hall of Fame Immortal Hate who was absolutely scathing of the rebranding at the time, club legends and fellow Hall of Famers larrikin & Biggie who left in disgust and even the S30 EKA Medallist PMBangers was another to vacate lockers at the Eyrie and realistically none of the above have been replaced to any great extent.

But to be fair to thewizardmelon & por_please_ya, they weathered some early season strife in Season 35 and the worm began to turn slowly last season with the in-season recruitment of league returnee and bon vivant The Majestic, and they have secured the services of the eccentric nomad Callums_Guns so perhaps there's some green shoots developing on the East Side after all.

Saved the ignominy of missing out on finals due to a teamsheet penalty by mere percentage, the Phoenix endured a middling season that saw them narrowly miss out on finals with an 8-8 record at the completion of the home and away season. Combine this with their list woes and dearth of significant recruitment in the off season and this consigns them to bottom place in the TiFmedia Power Rankings to kick off Season 36.

They'll be hoping for a resurgent S36 at the Eyrie as they look to build a platform to entice quality back to the East Side, yet a lack of individual success in Season 35 realistically belied the opportunity they present to a glory hound type looking to secure a full forward or ruck rover position.

Hall of Famer Itsmyshow had a poor season up forward, finishing 11th overall in the Fred, however he has just kicked his 800th career goal to give the Phoenix fans something to crow about early on this season. But to be fair to IMS, they didn't fare any better in the Mobbs Medal, MP_ would finish equal 10th overall. Nor the All-SFA side where they failed to register a single selection. beez Trophy wise, co-captains thewizardmelon & por_please_ya would finish 24th & 27th respectively, yet overall the club would finish 12th for total beez votes.

Still, there's plenty of opportunity for those seeking a change and/or personal glory at the Eyrie, and the Phoenix present a unique challenge for their skippers who are another season wiser and more experienced at the helm. The Qooty gods could well deliver the Phoenix a change of fortune in S36 and we watch with fascination to see just how quickly they can ignite the embers into something approaching an inferno from the smouldering ashes of the East Side rebirth.

Man. It's just a terrible, terrible trope isn't it.

#geauxhawks

Great work as always, TiF.



However, I do fear that this club may be ranked a little too high and it might damage your reputation as the leagues preeminent power ranker.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Great work as always, TiF.



However, I do fear that this club may be ranked a little too high and it might damage your reputation as the leagues preeminent power ranker.

So bitter! The rebrand has been average but the Hawks brand was abject and widely derided.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

TheInjuryFactory has again underestimated the cross SFA regard held for the Phoenicians. Like other under estimated Clubs like the Bunglers and Snow Bunnies, East Side’s match threads attract diverse interest of posters who are not on their list.

 

[Braklet]

So bitter! The rebrand has been average but the Hawks brand was abject and widely derided.

All I've known is East Side Phoenix. I prefer it to Hawks, sorry geezers.

 

[Hate]

TheInjuryFactory I don’t mean to make anyone scared here, but I also fear you may have ranked the clubs of the above two posters a little too high!

 

[Headless]

So bitter! The rebrand has been average but the Hawks brand was abject and widely derided.

Er, where?

 

[Hate]

Er, where?

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Er, where?

Pretty much everywhere iirc.

 

[Headless]

Widely derided by the leadership group of the Las Vegas Bears.

 

[Headless]

Pretty much everywhere iirc.

Are you thinking of the re-brand to the East Side Phoenix, Horry?

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Are you thinking of the re-brand to the East Side Phoenix, Horry?

I do believe Phoenicians offered more as a rebrand but that fleet has sailed.

 

[Braklet]

TheInjuryFactory I don’t mean to make anyone scared here, but I also fear you may have ranked the clubs of the above two posters a little too high!

Hate hates us!

 

[por_please_ya]

Haters gonna Hate

 

[grumbleguts]

Hello subjectivity my old friend.
I've come to talk with you again...

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

TheInjuryFactory has again underestimated the cross SFA regard held for the Phoenicians. Like other under estimated Clubs like the Bunglers and Snow Bunnies, East Side’s match threads attract diverse interest of posters who are not on their list.

Why do you assume we are cross?

You've hit the nail on the head Horry. They're not on their list.

 

[por_please_ya]

They're not on their list.

Ain't for lack of trying either.