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Do they need to give Brownlow votes?

Personally, if I'm umpiring well and consumed in the game - how on earth do I have the time to see a player has played well? You pay the free, and get yourself into position for the next stage of play. So I'm going to be straight in up in saying, I'm not always 100% percent behind my votes and then there's the other part where umpires might actually disagree on who votes should even be going to. But... keep it with them, there's other ways to make it easier for them (the AFL umpires).

I mean fu**, do they need to do the toss?

The toss actually is rather seamless in the sense that it's your bolted on way to say 'the game is starting'.

Do they have to sprint up and down the ground all day? Is there a better way?

They really don't at AFL level, 3 umpires to triangulate the contest in between the arcs, 1 just of the contest for the next bomb kick and 1 in each 50 deep - 2 umpires to peel off the the middle to triangulate for the 50's (so 6 umpires all up). They do not need to be fit, they'll barely crack a strong jog - make it all entirely about focusing on being able to make a decision. Hand over to the umpire when it's their side of the contest to prevent control confusion so you don't get triple calls on something like HTB.

Do it right and all behind the ball hits will always been seen. However I suspect the public will not be happy with the amount of free kicks that will result.

You say this, and yet I once had my partner pay a HTB for dragging it in, in the goal square - free kick was paid final siren went and they won by a point.

That's a marginal call, it's open to interpretation - some people want that paid and some don't... but you don't pay something like that in the dying seconds - the game should be won by the better team not an umpires technical call.