Terrible bon-bon jokes

[Lensen]

We had our Xmas party yesterday, and as usual the bon-bons came out, and as usual the jokes were terrible. However, the one I got contained the WORST joke I have ever read.

Q. What did the martian say to the petrol pump?
A. Take your finger out of your ear when I'm talking to you.

...

Anyone else seen any bon-bon jokes that bad?

 

[BomberGal]

I always get that one that goes:

Q. 'What did the girl say to her grandfather when he fell in the river?'

A. 'Paddle, pop!'

*groans* Without fail!

It's always a catalyst for everyone else to start telling really good jokes though. But I think my family are sick of my baby jokes by now!

 

[dbcrow]

Saw this one yesterday:

Q. What table at school doesn't have legs




























A. The multiplication table

 

[SonOfScray]

These are gold! Keep them coming

 

[Go_Doggies]

LOL these are awesome

 

[MightyFighting]

Q: What's brown and sticky?























A: A stick

 

[SonOfScray]

What do you call a fly with no wings?


A Walk

 

[SMOO]

Love them corny jokes

Whats black and white and eats like a horse?

A Zebra.



What do you call a dog with no legs?

Nothing, it wont come to you anyway.

Hear the joke about the wall?

I cant get over it..

 

[aoushman]

What do you call a man with no arms and legs.......Bob

What do you call a man with 50 rabbits up his a*se.......Warren

Why did the koala fall out of the tree...........because it was dead

 

[SonOfScray]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea

 

[Docker_Brat]

Geelong Board.

 

[Disgustipated]

Why is getting up early in the morning a bit like a pigs tail?





Its twirly!

 

[Fire]

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?

Because someone threw a fridge at it.

Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?

Because it was stapled to the fridge

Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?

Peer Pressure

What killed the Kangaroo?

Three koalas and a falling fridge




Why Did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms

 

[Rusty Brookes]

Man: Do you have sheep's testicles?

Butcher: No, it is just the way my trousers hang.


(That one was in my Viz Christmas Cracker a few years back).

 

[Fire]

Why does a baker bake bread?

Because he kneads the dough

 

[Disgustipated]

Patient- "Doctor Doctor i cant feel my legs"

Dr- "thats cause we chopped off your arms!"

 

[Uncle Steve]

Originally posted by Rusty Brookes
(That one was in my Viz Christmas Cracker a few years back).

There's such a thing as Viz Christmas Crackers?!?

I have GOT to get me a box of those - where can you get them in Oz?

 

[vindor]

Q. What do you call a kid with no legs?

A. Neil

 

[Rusty Brookes]

Originally posted by Uncle Steve
There's such a thing as Viz Christmas Crackers?!?

I have GOT to get me a box of those - where can you get them in Oz?

The cracker came free in an old issue in which you had to cut out the cracker yourself - similar to the free Bros mug or the crying Gazza doll.

 

[BomberGal]

Originally posted by SonOfScray
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea

What do you call a dear with no eyes, no legs, and no d***?
Still no ****ing idea


What's white and dangerous?
A fridge falling out of the sky.

What's red and white?
Pink.

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
Doug.

What do you call a man without a shovel on his head?
Douglas.

What do you call a man in a pile of leaves?
Russell.

What do you call a lady with one leg?
Ilene.

 

[BomberGal]

I love these ones together:

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, won't come anyway!

 

[SonOfScray]

Lachlan Veale Board

 

[windyhill]

I thought Bon Bon jokes were meant to be a little bit corny.

 

[Bomber Spirit]

Originally posted by BomberGal
What do you call a lady with one leg?
Ilene.

What do you call a Chinese lady with one leg?
Irene.

What do you call a man lying under a car?
Jack.

What do you call a man with a head made of wood?
Edward.

What do you call a man with 3 heads made of wood?
Edward Woodward.

 

[evade28]

why did the bike fall over?

because it was too tired