Songs with strange/funny Lyrics.

[Olmy]

One of the stranger lyricists around, IMO, would be Michael Stipe. Anyone who can write and entire song ('Stand', from the album Green) about "standing in the place where you are", and "using a compass" to turn and face "north" and then "west", is surely having a bit of a go at something, somewhere along the line!

Still an even better Stipe lyric is from the song 'Departure' from New Adventures in Hi-Fi:

Departure, Godspeed, bless his heart, good boy.
What a ****-up, what a fighter.
A free-fall, motorcycle, hang-glider,
Hung on the line like a poison spider.
Win a eulogy from William Greider,
Car crash, ptomaine, disposable lighter,
A bus plunge, avalanche, a vinegar cider.
Free-fall, motorcycle, hang-glider.



What the hell is a "free-fall motorcycle hanglider" supposed to be anyway (if indeed the words are supposed to be part of the one thing!)? Whatever it is (or the connotations it inspires), I find it extremely amusing!

What other songs have similarly strange lyrics (geez, there'd hardly be any, now, would there! ).

 

[Danny Chook Fan Club]

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly
I'm crying

Sitting on a cornflake waiting for the van to come
Corporation t-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long

I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo-goo-ga-joob

Err, yes.

 

[The Hitman]

Bugs - Pearl Jam

Michael Stipe is one of the weirder lyricists. I like how TonyMartin took the piss out of 'Stand' on 'The Late Show'. My favorite ever skit. You absolutely piss yourself...

The Hitman

 

[coxon]

hmmm..
if u listen to any of Beck's music, u'd know that most of his songs are made up of weird lyrics ~~ he did say they dont mean anything, just as long as the words sound funky... heres a couple..

deadweight
Like an nice age nice days
on your way sipping the golden dregs
on a rip tide freaks ride
sleep inside a parasite's appetite
oh say can't ya see the chemistry
the parasites, the cleanup fee
death leather hands recycled cans
get well cards to the hostage vans

devils haircut
Love machines on the sympathy crutches
Discount orgies on the dropout buses
Hitching a ride with the bleeding noses
Coming to town with the brief case blues

the new pollution
She's got cigarette on each arm
She's got the lily-white cavity crazes
She's got a carburator tied to the moon
Pink eyes looking to the food of the ages

and.. of course, who could forget this one...

loser
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
butane in my veins and I'm out to cut the junkie
with the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
kill the headlights and put it in neutral
stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
got a couple of couches, sleep on the love-seat
someone came in sayin' I'm insane to complain
about a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
don't believe everything that you breathe
you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
so shave your face with some mace in the dark
savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park

 

[jod23]

The 5 verses from Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds...

Picture yourself on a boat on a river
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A girl with caliedoscope eyes

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green
Towering over you head
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes
And she's gone

Follow her down to a bridge by the fountain
Where rocking horse people eat marshmellow pies
Everyone smiles as you drift by the flowers
That grow so incredibly high

Newspaper taxis appear on the shore
Waiting to take you away
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds
And you're gone

Picture yourself on a train in a station
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile
The girl with caleidoscope eyes.


Lennon Rules!

 

[jod23]

Originally posted by Danny Chook Fan Club
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly
I'm crying

Sitting on a cornflake waiting for the van to come
Corporation t-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long

I am the egg man
They are the egg men
I am the walrus
Goo-goo-ga-joob

Err, yes.

But it gets weirder....a top song!!

Mister city policeman sitting pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, I'm crying. I'm crying, I'm crying.

Yellow matter custard; dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus; goo goo g'joob.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus; goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

Expert textpert choking smokers,
Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they snied.
I'm crying.

Semolina pilchard; climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna,
man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Alan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus; goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.

 

[CURVE]

If we are talking stupid lyrics, then I have to mention DEVO. These guys were weird.

Praying Hands
YOU GOT YOUR LEFT HAND
YOU GOT YOUR RIGHT HAND
THE LEFT HAND'S DIDDLING
WHILE THE RIGHT HAND GOES TO WORK
YOU GOT BOTH HANDS
YOU GOT PRAYING HANDS
THEY PRAY FOR NO MAN
O.K....RELAX...
ASSUME THE POSITION
GO INTO DOGGIE SUBMISSION

Smart Patrol/Mr DNA
HE'S BEEN WITH THE WORLD
AND I'M TIRED OF THE SOUP DU JOUR
HE'S BEEN WITH THE WORLD
I WANNA END THIS PROPHYLACTIC TOUR
AFRAID NOBODY AROUND HERE
UNDERSTANDS MY POTATO
GUESS I'M ONLY A SPUDBOY
LOOKING FOR A REAL TOMATO
WE'RE THE SMART PATROL
NOWHERE TO GO
SUBURBAN ROBOTS THAT MONITOR REALITY
COMMON STOCK
WE WORK AROUND THE CLOCK
WE SHOVE THE POLES IN THE HOLES

WAIT A MINUTE SOMETHING'S WRONG
HE'S THE MAN FROM THE PAST
HE'S HERE TO DO US A FAVOR
A LITTLE HUMAN SACRIFICE
IT'S JUST SUPPLY AND DEMAND
MR. KAMIKAZI
MR. DNA
HE'S AN ALTRUISTIC PERVERT
MR. DNA
MR. KAMIKAZI
HE'S HERE TO SPREAD SOME GENES
MR. KAMIKAZI
MR. DNA
HE'S AN ALTRUISTIC PERVERT
MR. DNA
MR. KAMIKAZI
HE'S HERE TO SPREAD SOME GENES
MR. KAMIKAZI
MR. DNA
HE'S AN ALTRUISTIC PERVERT
MR. DNA
MR. KAMIKAZI
HE'S HERE TO SPREAD SOME GENES
WAIT A MINUTE SOMETHING'S WRONG
HE'S A MAN WITH A PLAN
HIS FINGER IS POINTED AT DEVO
NOW WE MUST SACRIFICE OURSELVES
THAT MANY OTHERS MAY LIVE
OK WE'VE GOT A LOT TO GIVE
THIS MONKEY WANTS A WORD WITH YOU

Believe it or not, these are two of their more sensible songs.

 

[The_Flying_Egg]

CHILI PEPPERS
NAKED IN THE RAIN

Naked in the rain with a killer whale
I can taste the salt when I lick his tail

Naked in the rain
Doctor Doolittle whats your secret
Give it to me Doctor
Don't keep it'

CHILI PEPPERS
APACHE ROSE PEACOCK

A little boy came along
Name of Louis Armstrong
Said that girl who left me silly
She liked the looks of me and my willy

So I found her in the quarter
Godd God how I adored her
Oh she made me feel so cozy
When she told me I could call her Rosey

They're both of Blood Sugar. Mellowship Slinky in B major and Sir Psycho Sexy have pretty cool lyrics as well

 

[Shinboners]

"Wi' Nae Wee Bairn Ye'll Me Beget" by the Magnetic Fields

It's from volume 3 of "69 Love Songs" and it's done as an Irish tune


"Wi' nae wee bairn ye'll me beget
Untwinkle, little ee
My ainly pang'll be regret
A maiden I will dee

But I'll turn into a nightingale my song will warm thy heart
Well I'll turn into a thrashing machine and tear thy bird apart

But I'll turn into a vampire and kiss you on the neck
Well I'll turn into a sillier cross and send thee back to heck

But I'll turn into a hydrogen bomb and atomize the air
Well I'll turn into a cockroach and you'll see if I care

But I'll turn into a supernova and burn up everything
Well I'll turn into a black little hole and you'll turn into string

But I'll turn into God Himself and then you'll come to me
Well I will not believe in you and then where will you be

My ainly pang'll be regret
A maiden I will de

 

[roobear]

On the RHCP theme, "Purple Stain" from Californication:

To finger paint is not a sin, I put my middle finger in....

etc. It's one of those songs that the first time you hear it you go "what the ?"


For crazy and sick lyrics, you can't go past the inlay of The Bloodhound Gang's "Hooray for Boobies" album. Barely any are repeatable, but they are piss funny. The songs themselves aren't bad, either.

 

[M29]

I am the Walrus, fantastic stuff. Wonder what Lennon had taken on that day.

Oasis - Supersonic. - Weird and funny.
I need to be myself
I can't be no one else
I'm feeling supersonic
Give me gin and tonic
You can have it all but how much do you want it?
You make me laugh
Give me your autograph
Can I ride with you in your BMW ?
You can sail with me in my yellow submarine

You need to find out
'Cos no one's gonna tell you what I'm on about
You need to find a way for what you want to say
But before tomorrow

'Cos my friend said he'd take you home
He sits in a corner all alone
He lives under a waterfall
No body can see him
No body can ever hear him call

You need to be yourself
You can't be no one else
I know a girl called Elsa
She's into Alka Seltzer
She sniffs it through a cane on a supersonic train
She made me laugh
I got her autograph
She done it with a doctor on a helicopter
She's sniffin in her tissue
Sellin' the Big Issue

She needs to find out
'Cos no one's gonna tell you what I'm on about
She needs to find a way for what she wants to say
But before tomorrow

'Cos my friend said he'd take you home
He sits in a corner all alone
He lives under a waterfall
No body can see him
No body can ever hear him call

 

[M29]

She's so Strange - Travis

She's so strange
And she wore a black moustache
And pilfered all the petty cash
She went to Birmingham
She'll soon be in the can

She's so cruel
And she knew what just what to do
And while the cats were all sniffing glue
They played their silly games
And now they'll take the blame

What she'd done
And she didn't know quite what she did
And they told her that she better had
So now she starts to cry
Without a reason why

She's so poor
And only now she's looking back
Sees her story on a paperback
What will become of her
There's not much left for her

Black Moustache? WTF?

 

[brampta]

Does anyone listen to Saturday morning Rove???
They have a segment called musical microscope and boy oh boy they've had some absolute pearlers in there.

The last one I listened to was their evaluation of Salt n' Pepa's "Shoop"

Exhibit A.
Here I go, here I go, here I go again (again?)
Girls, what's my weakness? (Men!)
Ok then, chillin', chillin', mindin' my business (word) Salt, I looked around, and I couldn't believe this
I swear, I stared, my niece my witness
The brother had it goin' on with somethin' kinda...uh Wicked, wicked (oooo) - had to kick it
I'm not shy so I asked for the digits
A ho? No, that don't make me
See what I want slip slide to it swifty
Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks
Then I flipped for a tip, make me wanna do tricks for him
Lick him like a lollipop should be licked
Came to my senses and I chilled for a bit
Don't know how you do the voodoo that you do
So well it's a spell, hell, makes me wanna shoop shoop shoop

And how could anyone over look Barenaked Ladies "One week"?
Exhibit B
Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You’ll think you’re looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish,
Although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi ‘Cause it’s never touched a frying pan
Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rimes
Because I’m all about value
Bert Kaempfert’s got the mad hits
You try to match wits
You try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I’d like a stinkin, achin shake
I like vanilla, It’s the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show,
Cause then you’ll know
The Vertigo is gonna grow
Cause it’s so dangerous,
You’ll have to sign a waiver

 

[SydneyBomber]

Anything written by Mike Patton (Bungle/FNM etc etc)

Honourable mention to the spudboys in DEVO!

 

[coxon]

Originally posted by SydneyBomber
Anything written by Mike Patton (Bungle/FNM etc etc)

Honourable mention to the spudboys in DEVO!

ah, speaking of Mike Patton..

my current fave cd, on mega rotation in car and home..
is by Lovage - 'Music to make love to your old lady by'..
what a cd... featuring dan the automator, mike patton, jennifer charles, kid koala, damon albarn..

the music is truly is what the title suggests! haha.. if this doesnt work, i donno what will... hehe..

the fantastic song, 'Anger Management' features Mike Patton..

 

[Macca19]

Well i think im gonna win on the strange lyrics thing here. Segression are the kings of queer lyrics.

These two verses are taken from Crainial Patch off 'Smile'.

Camels P!$$ when its down
Pink mothergoose mechanical clown
Incision decision elusive and exclusive
Jesus shook hands with a jockey from jupiter
and some punk frowned.
Asian wallpaper swallowed lemons
While burmese kittens held umbrellas
confucius fell into a great inspection
my brain fell out now

Purple chair throws an uppercut
While baby powder scores a putt
Incisive decisive, illusion exclusion
Jehovah made love to an unknown alien
more punks still frowned.
Islamic attorney sh@t on bambi
many books and bins appluaded
Issac Newton ate his apple
Making Alices wonderland fall out

Now if they aren't the wierdest, strangest, queerest lyrics you've seen then please show me something stranger!!!

 

[Shinboners]

Just remembered another funny lyric.

It's from the chorus of "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" by the Smiths and it goes something like this:

And if a double decker bus,
Kills the both of us,
To die by your side,
Is such a heavenly way to die,
And if a ten tonne truck,
Crashes into us,
To die by your side,
The pleasure, the privilege is mine

 

[Grendel]

Originally posted by Shinboners
Just remembered another funny lyric.

It's from the chorus of "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" by the Smiths and it goes something like this:

And if a double decker bus,
Kills the both of us,
To die by your side,
Is such a heavenly way to die,
And if a ten tonne truck,
Crashes into us,
To die by your side,
The pleasure, the privilege is mine

I always thought that was the sweet and tender side of Morrissey coming through in that song..

 

[Shinboners]

Originally posted by Grendel


I always thought that was the sweet and tender side of Morrissey coming through in that song..

Maybe so.

But everytime they played that song at Subterrain (or whichever club I was in at the time), I would break out in the giggles when dancing to it.



Shinners
(your Sweet and Tender Hooligan)

 

[Olmy]

Steve Malkmus (Pavement, and now in a solo career), also has some very strange lyrics. Not surprising really, when he lists R.E.M. as one of his main influences.