Proper Gander
Owl whisperer and secret agent
- Feb 15, 2015
- 36,818
- 81,131
I've been doing some thinking, and I think it is high time we thought about what this club should look like going forward, how we are perceived externally - perhaps more importantly how we look at ourselves.
Most recently we have tried "love", and it seems everyone hates it. Demon Spirit wasn't exactly a hit either. Looking back ten years "being the hardest team to play against" didn't pan out exactly, but on the positive side we have succeeded in being the hardest team to watch.
Now most people would think that we should let our footy do the talking, but currently our footy is talking total shit.
For my part, I would like to see us invest in some really different branding. I know Topkent has put forward some ideas about how anyone who doesn't punch on during training doesn't get a game. While this idea has merit - and everyone knows that Kent and my two hearts would normally beat as one - this time I want to go in another direction. If we can't be the hardest team to play against, I would at least like us to be the weirdest team to play against.
Firstly, the logo. It seems clear that the 90s Demon is very popular. I like him, but this time around I would like to go with a high-performing academic culture vision. Our 'popular' logo (for fridge magnets and hats etc) would look something like this:
For our official logo, I want to see as many things on it as possible, really test out those AFL site pixel improvements over the past decade. I'm thinking the background would be a watermark-style list of every person to play a game for Melbourne, with an overlay of a cubist impression of Max Gawn wearing a monocle and top-hat, with a subtle masonic symbol in the lower left-hand corner.
On field, I would like to see a warm-up kit of academic robes, and when we win a game (if ever) I would like everyone to throw a mortarboard in the air at the close of the song. I see no reason why a goal celebration shouldn't involve a courteous handshake from surrounding players, and the game should always open with all players giving their direct opposition a deep and respectful bow.
I want to see more communication on field - in French.
Going forward, I would like to see more emphasis on academic achievement in our recruiting strategy - Bachelor with honours being the minimum bar we should set. Preferably in the Arts, though I will permit science if in the abstract (theoretical physics is fine, engineering not so much). Master of Laws JD will be allowed, but only if from a Group of 8 university. Player interviews should only occur if the player lists at least one hobby as reading Proust or similar. An interest in 20th Century modernist painting would go nicely here as well.
I'm not necessarily saying this will improve our game - but it will distract the footy media from our game for a couple of weeks which can only be a good thing?
How do you see our future branding, and what do you think is the best way to freak out the competition? The best entrant could win $1,000,000!!! I might just send some of the shortlist to Jessica for her views.
Most recently we have tried "love", and it seems everyone hates it. Demon Spirit wasn't exactly a hit either. Looking back ten years "being the hardest team to play against" didn't pan out exactly, but on the positive side we have succeeded in being the hardest team to watch.
Now most people would think that we should let our footy do the talking, but currently our footy is talking total shit.
For my part, I would like to see us invest in some really different branding. I know Topkent has put forward some ideas about how anyone who doesn't punch on during training doesn't get a game. While this idea has merit - and everyone knows that Kent and my two hearts would normally beat as one - this time I want to go in another direction. If we can't be the hardest team to play against, I would at least like us to be the weirdest team to play against.
Firstly, the logo. It seems clear that the 90s Demon is very popular. I like him, but this time around I would like to go with a high-performing academic culture vision. Our 'popular' logo (for fridge magnets and hats etc) would look something like this:
On field, I would like to see a warm-up kit of academic robes, and when we win a game (if ever) I would like everyone to throw a mortarboard in the air at the close of the song. I see no reason why a goal celebration shouldn't involve a courteous handshake from surrounding players, and the game should always open with all players giving their direct opposition a deep and respectful bow.
I want to see more communication on field - in French.
Going forward, I would like to see more emphasis on academic achievement in our recruiting strategy - Bachelor with honours being the minimum bar we should set. Preferably in the Arts, though I will permit science if in the abstract (theoretical physics is fine, engineering not so much). Master of Laws JD will be allowed, but only if from a Group of 8 university. Player interviews should only occur if the player lists at least one hobby as reading Proust or similar. An interest in 20th Century modernist painting would go nicely here as well.
I'm not necessarily saying this will improve our game - but it will distract the footy media from our game for a couple of weeks which can only be a good thing?
How do you see our future branding, and what do you think is the best way to freak out the competition? The best entrant could win $1,000,000!!! I might just send some of the shortlist to Jessica for her views.
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