
Mofra
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- Dec 6, 2005
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- #1
Hi Bay,
I know the Bay isn't normally the place for hyperbole but I'm confident the thread title has nailed it.
The Essendon Bombers (formerly the "Essendon Blood Stained N*ggers" during a shamefully racist part of their history) had Zac Clarke rucking regularly for them last year, delisted him, and somehow made failed to strengthen their ruck division at all during trade period.
This collection of miscreants, has beens and never-weres that is expected to compete against the elite rucks other teams have (Max Gawn, Brodie Grundy, Tim English). They are as follows:
Tom Bellchambers is a 30 year old Tasmanian. At 201cm and 108kg he's almost as big as your average Tasmanian woman. When he's not attempting to swat the ball with his six-fingered hands, he lumbers around the ground with all the grace of a 5-man human centipede after a 24 hour curry marathon. Once sat out a season for taking part in Essendon's doping program. Was drafted in 2007 and has never been part of a winning Essendon final.
Andrew Phillips is a 28 year old red-headed Tasmanian because if Essendon love to stick to one thing, it's a losing formula. A former GWS player taken by SOS at Carlton, he spent four years at the worst club in the competition as their 4th string ruckman, so Essendon cleverly decided to poach him. He was rookied in 2010. Players taken after Phillips in 2010 include Luke Dahlhaus, Tom Jonas and 2016 Norm Mmith medalist Jason Johanissen.
Sam Draper is from South Australia, like most players who asked to be traded last year. He has yet to debut which is why the worst two clubs of the modern era made huge contract offers to him, with Sam rejecting a $1.7m offer from the Saints (lol) to sign a 4 year deal with th Bombers (double lol). He's had a terrible run with injury which meant he has unfortunately missed Essendon's 100+ point smashing by the Bulldogs and their losing final in 2020.
He will concentrate on rehab next year, unlike 34 other past and resent Essendon players who will also continue their rehab, albeit for a different reason.
That's it folks. Feel free to point and laugh. No wonder they chased a broken down Aaron Sandilands last year (triple lol): https://www.perthnow.com.au/sport/f...-with-essendon-for-season-2020-ng-b881365103z
I know the Bay isn't normally the place for hyperbole but I'm confident the thread title has nailed it.
The Essendon Bombers (formerly the "Essendon Blood Stained N*ggers" during a shamefully racist part of their history) had Zac Clarke rucking regularly for them last year, delisted him, and somehow made failed to strengthen their ruck division at all during trade period.
This collection of miscreants, has beens and never-weres that is expected to compete against the elite rucks other teams have (Max Gawn, Brodie Grundy, Tim English). They are as follows:

Tom Bellchambers is a 30 year old Tasmanian. At 201cm and 108kg he's almost as big as your average Tasmanian woman. When he's not attempting to swat the ball with his six-fingered hands, he lumbers around the ground with all the grace of a 5-man human centipede after a 24 hour curry marathon. Once sat out a season for taking part in Essendon's doping program. Was drafted in 2007 and has never been part of a winning Essendon final.

Andrew Phillips is a 28 year old red-headed Tasmanian because if Essendon love to stick to one thing, it's a losing formula. A former GWS player taken by SOS at Carlton, he spent four years at the worst club in the competition as their 4th string ruckman, so Essendon cleverly decided to poach him. He was rookied in 2010. Players taken after Phillips in 2010 include Luke Dahlhaus, Tom Jonas and 2016 Norm Mmith medalist Jason Johanissen.

Sam Draper is from South Australia, like most players who asked to be traded last year. He has yet to debut which is why the worst two clubs of the modern era made huge contract offers to him, with Sam rejecting a $1.7m offer from the Saints (lol) to sign a 4 year deal with th Bombers (double lol). He's had a terrible run with injury which meant he has unfortunately missed Essendon's 100+ point smashing by the Bulldogs and their losing final in 2020.
He will concentrate on rehab next year, unlike 34 other past and resent Essendon players who will also continue their rehab, albeit for a different reason.
That's it folks. Feel free to point and laugh. No wonder they chased a broken down Aaron Sandilands last year (triple lol): https://www.perthnow.com.au/sport/f...-with-essendon-for-season-2020-ng-b881365103z