Cricket wedding jokes

[Rise_up_Stiffy]

Hey there,

I'm the best man for my mates wedding, and he is very much into cricket. I want to make a few gags during my speech comparing married life to cricket. The things I can think of are probably pretty lame (im not really into cricket myself), but I'm wondering if any funnymen on here could help me out?

Stuff like:

- batting above his average with his wife
- bigger chucker than muri (buck's night)
- can remove the cover from his bat now that he's married

etc.

Any funny stuff appreciated! The dirtier the better!

 

[scooterb]

First and only time he will ever bowl a maiden over (or something along those lines...)

LAME

 

[Rise_up_Stiffy]

Went through plenty of partners before establishing a lasting partnership

Cracking one through the covers...

Apparently she's looking forward to being taken behind

You can only hope he/she doesn't declare their innings.


If he's getting married he must have bowled a maiden over at some point.

No doubt on the wedding night his missus will be keen to get down to his members end and face a couple of balls. As long as she can handle his bouncers she'll be fine.

You never know, if they've been together a while his missus may also want to bring in a third man

Gets to put on down to her fine leg(s)

Now won't have to 'bat' as aggresively as he is clearly playing for the draw.

Due to marriage his average might improve however his strike rate will plummet.


The best I've got so far.

 

[crudbucket]

He's finally got someone else willing to oil his bat for him ?

 

[Rod Stroker]

Google is your friend.

 

[bigpapagman]

i wouldn't allude to anal sex at someones wedding.

 

[Bodicifer]

• Now that he's married he won't need to protect the middle stump
• She'll get angry if he tries the wrong'un
• Now if he farts in the covers he can appeal "Howzat" !
• It won't be just the headache now, she'll be off for bad light

 

[signhimup]

• Now that he's married he won't need to protect the middle stump
• She'll get angry if he tries the wrong'un
• Now if he farts in the covers he can appeal "Howzat" !
• It won't be just the headache now, she'll be off for bad light

You have to use that. Gold