Media A #PhenoMedia Exclusive: Elton Johns Wig to retire in 2021

[PhenomenalV1]

The SFA was rocked today when West Coast Wonders recruit Elton Johns Wig announced that he would be starting a 3 year long farewell tour from the SFA.

Elton Johns Wig, seen here on top of Elton John's bald spot.

The alcohol enthusiast said he wanted to see his children "grow up and mature" and raise them. We assume that by "children" we mean his ever growing wine collection.

And this is just the entrance to Elton's wine catacombs...

#PhenoMedia has been informed that the farewell tour itself will begin on Round one of Season 25, and will continue until the Grand Final of Season 32. In that time, Elton Johns Wig will drink in places he's never drank in before, and some that he has drunk in way too often.

A younger, much less irritable Wigman.

Wig (age: god knows), was unavailable for interv...what do you mean I'm confusing him with the actual Elton John?

You mean to tell me that they're not the same person?

Oh.

Guess I'll just have to plug the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo again...



Join the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo. We're not the secret SFA society you're looking for.

We do, however, have our own NFL team.​

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

The alcohol enthusiast

Alcohol PROFESSIONAL you fuggen idiot!!!!! PROFESSIONAL!!

 

[Ned_Flanders]

If i buy you a slab of XXXX will you bugger off in 2018?

 

[PhenomenalV1]

If i buy you a slab of XXXX will you bugger off in 2018?

Are you talking to me or Elton? Because a) I don't drink beer and 2) I'm going to be sticking around for a while...

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Of course elton

Its against my faith to give free beer to carlton supporters

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Of course elton

Its against my faith to give free beer to carlton supporters

Just put me on ignore campaigner!!

 

[This Is Anfield]

Of course elton

Its against my faith to give free beer to carlton supporters

Giving XXXX to Carlton supporters is a good thing.

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Giving XXXX to Carlton supporters is a good thing.

even the awful piss that is XXXX is too good for blue baggers

let them drink west coast coolers

 

[Wosh]

Is this the drinking thread tonight?

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Is this the drinking thread tonight?

thread???

 

[philreich]

Giving XXXX to Carlton supporters is a good thing.

Do they drink XXXX because they don't know how to spell beer?

 

[_Cayz_]

Do they drink XXXX because they don't know how to spell beer?

Don't they drink Mercury Hards?

 

[JT_the_Man]

La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo!

 

[PhenomenalV1]

La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo!

See, this guy has the right idea.

*taps neck*

 

[McEvoy]

I will be disappointed if EJW's favourite tipple isn't Cheval Blanc.

That's tipple. With a T.

 

[PhenomenalV1]

Four years later, and Elton is yet to retire.


Think I missed the mark on this one.

 

[nahnah]

Ok

 

[Senor M]

Four years later, and Elton is yet to retire.


Think I missed the mark on this one.

To be fair-- Elton Johns Wig should have retired after the Beez win back in 2021.

He hasn't been the same since.

 

[damicky]

Four years later, and Elton is yet to retire.


Think I missed the mark on this one.

You retired instead

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

To be fair-- Elton Johns Wig should have retired after the Beez win back in 2021.

He hasn't been the same since.

I need a reason to be the same and no one has provided it.

I am providing guidance and stability at the OOB's.

 

[Mrs Turbo]

I need a reason to be the same and no one has provided it.

I am providing guidance and stability at the OOB's.

and this is guidance is greatly appreciated by all us OOB rookies...


EJW this guidance from The OOB orb, and you know it never lies

 

[PhenomenalV1]

You retired instead

An astute observation, oh coagulated casein one.