Tonga Bob
As seen on Border Security: Australia's Front Line
- Oct 26, 2013
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Welcome to Heritage Round!
Of course we all know that the first qooty clash between Sin City and the Dragons was in round 8 of season 9 (then known as the Alberton Swamprats and the Southern Dragons respectively). In that match the Drags were victorious – 15.19 (109) to 15.14 (104). Many current day personalities featured in this match - Ljp86 Moo kane249 sausageroll & Pie 4 Life for the Dragons, while MannumPower lined up for the ‘Rats.
But while qooty results can come and go, I’m here today to tell you about the actual origin story behind these two teams are facing off in Heritage Round, as opposed to tell you about teamsheet timeframes which you all know by now. Please consider…
The Swamprat, or There and Back Again
This is the story of philreich, a Swamprat who lives in Alberton. He enjoys a peaceful and pastoral life but his life is interrupted by a surprise visit by the wizard Kennedy Parker. Before philreich is really able to improve upon the situation, Kennedy Parker has invited himself to tea and when he arrives, he comes with a company of Rats led by Catsnlakers. They are embarking on a journey to recover lost treasure that is guarded by the dragon serial_thrilla, at the Lonely Mountain. Kennedy Parker has decided, much to philreich's chagrin, that the Swamprat will make an excellent addition to the team and philreich is going to play the role of a burglar. As they start on their way, philreich has serious misgivings.
On the journey, philreich and the Rats encounter all sorts of villains and obstacles. They have not travelled very far when they stumble upon a group of trolls. A combination of Kennedy Parker's wizardry and philreich's burglary land the group out of harm's way. They are able to replenish their supplies with the food that they find in the trolls' lodging place and they soon move on, pensive and fearful.
Kennedy Parker leads the group to a place where they can get a short rest and they pass through the country of the dads. It is June and all of the joys, songs and jokes of midsummer are on display. philreich and the Rats stay at the house of Ant Bear, an old friend of Kennedy Parker. As they continue on their journey, philreich is depressed and nostalgic. The group passes through a mountain chain and two of the Rats, jackster83 and ShaunDuggan, locate a cave for the group to sleep for the night - but the cave turns out to be inhabited by Dragons. philreich's startled yell helps to save the group.
And after these difficulties, there is trouble with DragoDelph, with Ljp86 and with T2B_ before the group actually arrives at serial_thrilla's mountain. In these travels though, philreich has outwitted a creature called Bonz, and gained a ring that makes him invisible which Bonz referred to as his "precious". This is certainly helpful in battling DragoDelph and getting the Rats out of prison. But the ring is especially needed when the group arrives at serial_thrilla's mountain. Once there, the Rats argue about who will enter serial_thrilla's cave and since philreich is the burglar, philreich must go ahead and face the challenge. He follows the treacherous course into the heart of the cave and though he is sure he is in danger, he is attracted by a red glow that compels him to approach. This is the glow of serial_thrilla. philreich manages to steal a cup and hurriedly exits but serial_thrilla awakens and begins to rage. The lake-town of Rhilpisa is the victim of serial_thrilla's terror, for the information that he learns from philreich gives him reason to believe that they are involved in the theft of his cup. okeydoke7, the grim-voiced, grim-faced man, is willing to challenge serial_thrilla and he has help from a messenger bird, called an ibis. The bin chicken relays information that philreich discovered while in serial_thrilla's lair: the hollow of serial_thrilla's left breast is not plated with his red-gold armour. When okeydoke7 strikes this spot, serial_thrilla falls dead, his massive body crushing the city of Rhilpisa. The survivors seek okeydoke7 as their new king but okeydoke7 provisionally declines the offer, though he intends to establish his own city. As the news of serial_thrilla's death spreads, various groups advance towards the mountain - for there is treasure to be had.
Catsnlakers continues to speak of the Swampstone because it means so much to him, as it is an heirloom and he threatens to take revenge on whoever has prevented him from getting it. In spite of this warning, philreich decides that he will leave the mountain and offer the Swampstone to okeydoke7; then, okeydoke7 can offer the Arkenstone to Catsnlakers in exchange for a fair portion of the treasure. Catsnlakers is thinking of ways to avoid a fair bargain and when battle erupts, it includes men, dads and Rats. They are ready to attack one another until Kennedy Parker announces the approach of the Dragons, bats, flogs and Strigoi. The armies re-align themselves and conduct what became known as the "Battle of Five Armies." The Dragons and Wild Flogs battle against the Dads, Men and Rats. Kennedy Parker has expected some sort of assault but it did come swifter than he had expected. The Dragons are initially repelled and ambushed by the Dads, but a reinforcement of Dragon troops tilts the balance of the battle. It is only with the final arrival of the bin chickens, that the forces of good are sustained. Unfortunately, philreich is "smote" with a "stone hurtling from above...and he fell with a crash and knew no more."
When philreich regains consciousness, he finds that he is alone and he has to take his ring off so that the individuals who were sent for him can find him. After recovering in the company of Kennedy Parker, philreich makes his way back home and their journey - though covering the same perilous terrain - is far more pleasant and mild than it was the first time. As philreich says, "So comes snow after fire, and even Dragons have their ending." Kennedy Parker and philreich pass through Tittybong and eventually make their way to Alberton. It is summer and philreich is disappointed to learn that he is legally dead. His greedy cousins Grav ant555 & GotTheGoodes are auctioning his property because he is "Presumed Dad." They are more than a little displeased at his arrival and it takes several years for philreich to sort out the legalisms. In fact, philreich had to buy back a good deal of his own furniture but his reputation, for better or worse, was harder to reclaim. But as for philreich, "for ever after he remained an dad-friend, and had the honour of Rats, wizards, and all such folk as ever passed that way.
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DRAGONS FFC 
