- May 27, 2006
- 41,602
- 80,552
- AFL Club
- Melbourne
- Moderator
- #1
Hello everybody.
As you are no doubt aware, I have been personally asked – headhunted, if you will – to write these Round 3 match threads. The function of the opening post is, of course, debatable. Is it to provide relevant information pertaining to the two participating clubs and their respective fortunes? Is it to build hype for the game? Is it to entertain the league, despite the fact that, I contend, practically no players read the entirety of long match thread OPs?
The answer, ostensibly, combines several of these potential functions, and perhaps also others. On a more basic level, the opening post simply starts off the thread. That is, without the opening post, there would be no thread at all, and that would make it very difficult to post in the thread. Some would even go as far as saying that it would be impossible.
And that really makes you question whether or not a thread for each game is optimal – or even required. In recent seasons, we have seen “mega threads” – a single thread designed for each round of games, as opposed to each game itself. Some have even suggested going a step further, with a single match thread for the entire season, or perhaps even an abolishment of match threads altogether.
In many ways, this would be the ideal outcome; after numerous seasons of recycled jokes, barbs, and storylines, the argument that Sweet would be better without match threads is potentially a strong one. But then – and this is the thing – what would we do instead?
Naturally, media production is an option. With so much time gained from the absence of match threads – some players post on average 100+ times in match threads each week – the media scene could well and truly thrive. We would, perhaps, see the most creative and prolific media season of all time, and perhaps this would be a better vessel for our collective time than weekly match threads. Media thread such as “Headless” and “Do you prefer oranges or fruit salad?” would become the norm, as opposed to the always sought but rarely achieved level of brilliance they are today.
Sadly, I think it an anodyne conclusion that this is too optimistic a view. Sweet’s inhabitants would become restless. After all, match threads provide a league-sanctioned opportunity for – let’s be frank – extremely low effort, extremely prolific posting (qualities that, personally, I tend to reserve for media – and now match thread opening posts).
So if the abolishment of match threads didn’t result in a rise in media, what’s the most likely outcome?
Well, perhaps players would invest more time into club history and lore. Perhaps they would become more interested and, indeed, invested in the origins of the league and how it developed. Perhaps our dear friend Mobbs would get more help with whatever reserves-type secondary league he seems to be developing presently. Perhaps more players would (rightly) become interested in Flower Farm.
Alas! This, too, seems optimistic, for many players ostensibly have no or limited interest in what happened years prior to their joining the league. And it’s understandable – there’s no emotional buy-in. They don’t care which club won which premiership. They don’t care that Tarkyn_24 claimed EBIAC’s Season 8 MBD Best & Fairest for close to 15 years without saying boo.
No – on reflection, without match threads, the league would likely suffer. We would lose the institution of weekly club-against-club match-ups – the one place we can go (and, indeed, are encouraged to go) to lock horns with one specific club, one week at a time. We may, further, lose some of the essence of literally the only rivalry that exists in the Sweet FA: the Wonders and the Demons.
So perhaps match threads are a necessity after all, and perhaps the easiest course of action is, in actuality, doing nothing at all: leaving the format and the function of match thread opening posts as is. And if that’s the case, somebody needs to post the match threads each week. For this, where should we turn?
Should OP production and posting be a responsibility of the administrator of the time? One could argue that should be the case – and, of course, in years gone by, this was often how it eventuated. But with six games per week, and 16 or 17 rounds per season – prior to finals – that’s a lot of match threads to create. And, over time, the bar has been raised time and time again when it comes to what goes into a match thread opening post – these days, players seem to expect fancy graphics, in-depth statistics and analysis, and, perhaps more than anything else, entertainment and humour.
For these reasons, and probably others, delegating the match threads to a range of players seems to be a perfectly sensible idea – and even more sensible when players actually volunteer to carry the burden. It is a burden, of course, due to the aforementioned expectations – and that’s before starting to worry about when to make the threads live.
Heated debate has surrounded Sweet in recent seasons, centred on this exact issue. Some argue match threads should be posted on Monday; others, arguing that Mondays should be a rest day or used for media, seem to prefer Tuesday match threads; others still remain ambivalent. The sad and upsetting reality is that it’s going to be difficult to please everybody when it comes to this point. In all likelihood, some players will be frustrated or upset by what you choose to do. Yes, you need thick skin to post match threads – particularly if posting them on a Sunday evening.
Naturally, having been around these parts for at least several months now, I have thick skin, and this was likely one of the very many reasons I was asked – headhunted – to post these match thread OPs. A wonderful choice, some would say; who else could so elegantly combine interchange heroics and charisma? You’re probably right – TedDougChris, or Smartys Power, or JT_the_Man, or Dingster – but that’s beside the point.
What I really want to highlight is that selecting me – Headless – was an inspired choice.
Now, I want to do these match thread opening posts justice – I don’t like doing things by halves, after all – so I will endeavour to satisfy the league’s collective expectations. As a quick recap, that means things like fancy graphics, in-depth statistics and analysis, and, perhaps more than anything else, entertainment and humour.
Fancy graphics
Please enjoy this graphic, specifically created for this round – Season 33, Round 3. When creating the fancy graphic, I had the two participating clubs in mind, and absolutely no other clubs. You can see this through the inclusion of the two participating clubs’ logos.
Of course, the league now expects fancy graphics – not just a single fancy graphic. So please enjoy this secondary piece of work:
In-depth statistics and analysis
As far as Round 3 goes, there have been some wonderful, wonderful match-ups.
In Season 1, you might recall that the Seventh Wonders had the bye, but there were still three absolute classics that round. The Pagan Ducks were too strong for the Dingoes to the tune of 17 points. The BigFooty Dragons went down to Team Kournikova by 26 points. Team Timmy, naturally, were beaten convincingly – by 58 points – by Team Pump. It was a superb round of qooty – and all in Round 3.
Last season – that’s Season 32 – saw six matches in Round 3, with five home teams (the Dragons, Furies, Bears, Demons, and Roys) proving too strong for their opponents (the Bombers, Gumbies, Royals, Phoenix, and Wonders respectively). The outlier? The Warriors, who beat the Swamprats by 55 points.
I won’t discuss Round 3 of the current season here, of course – it hasn’t yet happened!
Now, I know you’re all pining for club-specific analysis, given this particular thread is relevant only, really, to two clubs. And boy oh boy wowee, what a selection of two clubs we have here!
The home club is powerful – particularly on their own turf – and their fabled history is no doubt intimidating for any visiting side. They’ll have taken a lot out of the first two rounds – learnings, if you will – and will doubtlessly be looking to implement what they’ve been working on at training come match day. They’ll be looking to win on Sunday – of that, I’m sure.
But they’re coming up against opponents that are debatably just as strong. And although they’re playing away, my gut feeling is that their away record across history won’t be statistically significantly different to their home record – so you could argue that they have that on their side. Their results in the first two rounds have been most interesting, and I’m quite sure that they’ll be giving their all from the moment the first siren sounds.
How lucky we are to see this particular match-up at this particular ground in this particular round of this particular season. The chances of such a match-up seem low, and yet, here we are.
Humour
I am, regretfully, painfully shy when it comes to telling jokes. I did, however, just search “best joke to tell in Round 3 match thread”, and this is what I found:
Q: What type of drink can be both bitter and sweet?
A: Reali-tea!
I think that’s quite funny wordplay, and it also provides me with a wonderful joke to tell the very friendly pirates the next time they take me and my dear friend manangatang on an exciting adventure.
I think the captains of these two wonderful teams need to submit their official team sheets by a specific time. I think that time might be midnight – perhaps Melbourne’s version – on Thursday night, but frankly I’m not completely sure of this. It also doesn’t bother me particularly either way. I encourage captains to submit what they need to submit by the time they need to submit it, but we all make mistakes – including writing this match thread opening post.
Thank you so much to everybody for the opportunity to kick off this match thread. After all, the two participating clubs are my two favourite clubs of all.
And I’ve always said that.
As you are no doubt aware, I have been personally asked – headhunted, if you will – to write these Round 3 match threads. The function of the opening post is, of course, debatable. Is it to provide relevant information pertaining to the two participating clubs and their respective fortunes? Is it to build hype for the game? Is it to entertain the league, despite the fact that, I contend, practically no players read the entirety of long match thread OPs?
The answer, ostensibly, combines several of these potential functions, and perhaps also others. On a more basic level, the opening post simply starts off the thread. That is, without the opening post, there would be no thread at all, and that would make it very difficult to post in the thread. Some would even go as far as saying that it would be impossible.
And that really makes you question whether or not a thread for each game is optimal – or even required. In recent seasons, we have seen “mega threads” – a single thread designed for each round of games, as opposed to each game itself. Some have even suggested going a step further, with a single match thread for the entire season, or perhaps even an abolishment of match threads altogether.
In many ways, this would be the ideal outcome; after numerous seasons of recycled jokes, barbs, and storylines, the argument that Sweet would be better without match threads is potentially a strong one. But then – and this is the thing – what would we do instead?
Naturally, media production is an option. With so much time gained from the absence of match threads – some players post on average 100+ times in match threads each week – the media scene could well and truly thrive. We would, perhaps, see the most creative and prolific media season of all time, and perhaps this would be a better vessel for our collective time than weekly match threads. Media thread such as “Headless” and “Do you prefer oranges or fruit salad?” would become the norm, as opposed to the always sought but rarely achieved level of brilliance they are today.
Sadly, I think it an anodyne conclusion that this is too optimistic a view. Sweet’s inhabitants would become restless. After all, match threads provide a league-sanctioned opportunity for – let’s be frank – extremely low effort, extremely prolific posting (qualities that, personally, I tend to reserve for media – and now match thread opening posts).
So if the abolishment of match threads didn’t result in a rise in media, what’s the most likely outcome?
Well, perhaps players would invest more time into club history and lore. Perhaps they would become more interested and, indeed, invested in the origins of the league and how it developed. Perhaps our dear friend Mobbs would get more help with whatever reserves-type secondary league he seems to be developing presently. Perhaps more players would (rightly) become interested in Flower Farm.
Alas! This, too, seems optimistic, for many players ostensibly have no or limited interest in what happened years prior to their joining the league. And it’s understandable – there’s no emotional buy-in. They don’t care which club won which premiership. They don’t care that Tarkyn_24 claimed EBIAC’s Season 8 MBD Best & Fairest for close to 15 years without saying boo.
No – on reflection, without match threads, the league would likely suffer. We would lose the institution of weekly club-against-club match-ups – the one place we can go (and, indeed, are encouraged to go) to lock horns with one specific club, one week at a time. We may, further, lose some of the essence of literally the only rivalry that exists in the Sweet FA: the Wonders and the Demons.
So perhaps match threads are a necessity after all, and perhaps the easiest course of action is, in actuality, doing nothing at all: leaving the format and the function of match thread opening posts as is. And if that’s the case, somebody needs to post the match threads each week. For this, where should we turn?
Should OP production and posting be a responsibility of the administrator of the time? One could argue that should be the case – and, of course, in years gone by, this was often how it eventuated. But with six games per week, and 16 or 17 rounds per season – prior to finals – that’s a lot of match threads to create. And, over time, the bar has been raised time and time again when it comes to what goes into a match thread opening post – these days, players seem to expect fancy graphics, in-depth statistics and analysis, and, perhaps more than anything else, entertainment and humour.
For these reasons, and probably others, delegating the match threads to a range of players seems to be a perfectly sensible idea – and even more sensible when players actually volunteer to carry the burden. It is a burden, of course, due to the aforementioned expectations – and that’s before starting to worry about when to make the threads live.
Heated debate has surrounded Sweet in recent seasons, centred on this exact issue. Some argue match threads should be posted on Monday; others, arguing that Mondays should be a rest day or used for media, seem to prefer Tuesday match threads; others still remain ambivalent. The sad and upsetting reality is that it’s going to be difficult to please everybody when it comes to this point. In all likelihood, some players will be frustrated or upset by what you choose to do. Yes, you need thick skin to post match threads – particularly if posting them on a Sunday evening.
Naturally, having been around these parts for at least several months now, I have thick skin, and this was likely one of the very many reasons I was asked – headhunted – to post these match thread OPs. A wonderful choice, some would say; who else could so elegantly combine interchange heroics and charisma? You’re probably right – TedDougChris, or Smartys Power, or JT_the_Man, or Dingster – but that’s beside the point.
What I really want to highlight is that selecting me – Headless – was an inspired choice.
Now, I want to do these match thread opening posts justice – I don’t like doing things by halves, after all – so I will endeavour to satisfy the league’s collective expectations. As a quick recap, that means things like fancy graphics, in-depth statistics and analysis, and, perhaps more than anything else, entertainment and humour.
Fancy graphics
Please enjoy this graphic, specifically created for this round – Season 33, Round 3. When creating the fancy graphic, I had the two participating clubs in mind, and absolutely no other clubs. You can see this through the inclusion of the two participating clubs’ logos.
Of course, the league now expects fancy graphics – not just a single fancy graphic. So please enjoy this secondary piece of work:
In-depth statistics and analysis
As far as Round 3 goes, there have been some wonderful, wonderful match-ups.
In Season 1, you might recall that the Seventh Wonders had the bye, but there were still three absolute classics that round. The Pagan Ducks were too strong for the Dingoes to the tune of 17 points. The BigFooty Dragons went down to Team Kournikova by 26 points. Team Timmy, naturally, were beaten convincingly – by 58 points – by Team Pump. It was a superb round of qooty – and all in Round 3.
Last season – that’s Season 32 – saw six matches in Round 3, with five home teams (the Dragons, Furies, Bears, Demons, and Roys) proving too strong for their opponents (the Bombers, Gumbies, Royals, Phoenix, and Wonders respectively). The outlier? The Warriors, who beat the Swamprats by 55 points.
I won’t discuss Round 3 of the current season here, of course – it hasn’t yet happened!
Now, I know you’re all pining for club-specific analysis, given this particular thread is relevant only, really, to two clubs. And boy oh boy wowee, what a selection of two clubs we have here!
The home club is powerful – particularly on their own turf – and their fabled history is no doubt intimidating for any visiting side. They’ll have taken a lot out of the first two rounds – learnings, if you will – and will doubtlessly be looking to implement what they’ve been working on at training come match day. They’ll be looking to win on Sunday – of that, I’m sure.
But they’re coming up against opponents that are debatably just as strong. And although they’re playing away, my gut feeling is that their away record across history won’t be statistically significantly different to their home record – so you could argue that they have that on their side. Their results in the first two rounds have been most interesting, and I’m quite sure that they’ll be giving their all from the moment the first siren sounds.
How lucky we are to see this particular match-up at this particular ground in this particular round of this particular season. The chances of such a match-up seem low, and yet, here we are.
Humour
I am, regretfully, painfully shy when it comes to telling jokes. I did, however, just search “best joke to tell in Round 3 match thread”, and this is what I found:
Q: What type of drink can be both bitter and sweet?
A: Reali-tea!
I think that’s quite funny wordplay, and it also provides me with a wonderful joke to tell the very friendly pirates the next time they take me and my dear friend manangatang on an exciting adventure.
I think the captains of these two wonderful teams need to submit their official team sheets by a specific time. I think that time might be midnight – perhaps Melbourne’s version – on Thursday night, but frankly I’m not completely sure of this. It also doesn’t bother me particularly either way. I encourage captains to submit what they need to submit by the time they need to submit it, but we all make mistakes – including writing this match thread opening post.
Thank you so much to everybody for the opportunity to kick off this match thread. After all, the two participating clubs are my two favourite clubs of all.
And I’ve always said that.
.
