Drugs Are Bad Mackay?
Moderator
- May 24, 2006
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- Moderator
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Present: Neil Craig (head coach), Phil Harper (football operations), David Burtenshaw (media) and Stephen Trigg (CEO)
Stephen Trigg: Thanks for making yourselves available guys. Trying times I know but there are just a few house-keeping and media issues we need to stay on top of. Phil, do you want to kick things off?
Phil Harper: Sure. We’ve booked out hotels in all major cities for the first couple of weeks of the finals. We do it each year – it’s routine - you know, just in case. But we’re wondering if we can go ahead and cancel those bookings now? The flights as well.
Neil Craig: Well, what if we actually string some wins together and make the finals? What happens then? Where will we stay? Flag Inn at Ballarat or something...
Phil Harper: No, no… you can get backpackers bookings at quite late notice.
Stephen Trigg: It’s just that we can get the bulk of our deposit back if we cancel by COB Friday. It’s significant money and we’re a bit behind budget this year. The white guernseys with the new logo haven’t been too popular unfortunately. They’ve sold like Power memberships.
Phil Harper: There’s also the traditional club champion night… first Friday in October.
Neil Craig: What about it?
Phil Harper: We’re wondering if we can bring it forward a month.
Stephen Trigg: It makes sense, Neil. The players will be on holidays in October most likely and it will be almost six weeks since our last game. Most people would have forgotten about the season… hopefully.
David Burtenshaw: Channel 9 won’t cover it in October either and apparently all the media have said they’d rather focus on the Redbacks first Shield game-
Neil Craig: The Redbacks? Jesus Christ.
Phil Harper: Along a similar theme, some of the assistant coaches are wondering if they can take their annual leave in September?
Neil Craig: What?
Phil Harper: Apparently they can get cheaper flights in September because it’s out of school holidays, especially if they book now. David Noble wants to go to Cancun with his family.
Neil Craig: Where the f___’s that? No they can’t bloody well take annual leave in September. Well, Ben Hart and Matthew Clarke can, but tell the others to hold off. Sorry if I’m ruining their chance of getting a suntan, but we are running a football club here. Geez, if we pull off a miracle and make the finals, I’ll be the only coach here and we’ll be bussing to Melbourne to stay in a f___ing caravan park-
Stephen Trigg: Neil, settle-
Neil Craig: No, Stephen – I’m going to have my say here. I get a real sense that as a club we’re raising the white flag. It’s only Round 6 for crying out loud! We’ve got the best part of a season to play. I’ve been strong on the fact that we aren’t going to give up. I’ve made that point in all my interviews and I’ve spoken to the Board about this very issue. They’ve backed me 100%.
Stephen Trigg: Publicly we’re not backing down. Not for a second. As far as the media and the supporters are concerned it’s business as usual and we’re still gunning for the finals. Internally… we’ve got to manage the situation as best we can.
Phil Harper: And that means giving up?
Stephen Trigg: Bullseye.
Neil Craig: (sulking) Fine. Do whatever you want with this stuff, I don’t care.
Stephen Trigg: Ok, David. You had a few things for us?
David Burtenshaw: There are a few media opportunities on the horizon. Neil, Channel 7 wants you to do a promo for their news service.
Neil Craig: Yeah, no worries. What’s that involve?
David Burtenshaw: They want you to climb up a ladder while you’re wearing the Claude The Crow costume.
Neil Craig: … why?
David Burtenshaw: Well it’s for their sports promo. And when you get near the top of the ladder a magpie swoops you and you slide down to the bottom.
Neil Craig: I’m not doing th-
David Burtenshaw: No, don’t worry. They’ve got a stunt crow already sorted and there’ll be an ambulance crew right there just in case. It’s not a real magpie either. They’ll add that via computer afterwards.
Stephen Trigg: It’s really important to keep up the club’s media profile at the moment. Everyone’s all over the Power now because they’re winning. It’s a competitive market.
Neil Craig: You think me being humiliated and our club being a laughing stock helps our profile?
Phil Harper: Aren’t we seeing that enough on the weekend anyway?
Neil Craig: … thanks for your support Phil.
David Burtenshaw: Yeah but that’s just once a week. The promo will get played every night. In prime time. You can’t buy that sort of publicity. Also there’s an opportunity to use you in the next Foodland ad. They’re a long term sponsor, I’m pretty keen to help them out.
<Neil looks skeptical>
David Burtenshaw: They’ve got a new range of soups they’re pushing. All you need to do is cook some up on a stove, give it a stir and then have a taste… (quietly) using a wooden spoon.
Neil Craig: Did you say wooden spoon?
David Burtenshaw: Ahhh… yeah… and then you turn to camera and say, “Mmmm… leaves a better taste than my finals record.”
<Neil sits back in chair, arms folded, unmoving>
David Burtenshaw: Um… I’ll put that one down as a maybe for now.
Stephen Trigg: Neil, these opportunities don’t come along often.
Neil Craig: Thank goodness for that.
David Burtenshaw: Also you’ve got a big week of interviews coming up. (reading from notes) The Footy Show, Footy Classified, One Week At A Time, 3AW, 5AA, SEN, The Age, Herald Sun…
Neil Craig: Gee, can’t I cancel a few of them?
David Burtenshaw: No, they’ve been locked in for months.
Stephen Trigg: Why did you agree to so many interviews?
Neil Craig: Well I didn’t know we’d be 0-6 did I? I thought we’d be flying by now. No more satellite hook ups though. That delay makes me look ridiculous... like I’m searching for answers.
David Burtenshaw: In those interviews it wouldn’t hurt if you stopped mentioning finals. Maybe if we stop throwing the F word out there people will forget we said anything about top four. Also we’ve run some focus groups and there are a few phrases you use that people are getting sick off. Where are we…? (searches through notes) … contested ball, fierce determination, playing group, we have to keep working on that, finals-like intensity-
Phil Harper: Oh yeah, you use that one all the time.
David Burtenshaw: Also they said that you should never be on camera wearing shorts. Apparently that is a real turn off.
Neil Craig: (under breath) This will all help us win games will it?
David Burtenshaw: Another thing we need to be wary of is player influence. You’ve always talked up the ‘player power’ at the club and given credit to the leadership group for their role in decision making. I think you’re treading on dangerous ground there.
Neil Craig: Surely that’s a good thing? Player empowerment is one of our major strengths.
David Burtenshaw: Yes and no. It can also create the perception that the tail is wagging the dog, especially with this training schedule business that has come out. You’re supposed to be the expert in the field but you’re taking advice from a group of players?
Neil Craig: We’ve changed one training session… it’s hardly mutiny on the Bounty.
Phil Harper: I’m with Neil on this one. It’s not going to make a lick of difference anyway whether we train Wednesday, Thursday or Friday… I mean, who cares really? It’s going to be the same players who take the field. And they all stink.
Neil Craig: … thanks again Phil.
David Burtenshaw: It might sound minor but even little things can create a groundswell of public opinion that the leaders of the club don’t know what they’re doing and their authority is being questioned and undermined from within. The last time the players were given any real power was 1994… Cornes was gone within two months.
Neil Craig: I think we’re jumping at shadows here. I know I’ve got the full support of the players and the full backing of the Board and that should be obvious to the public.
Phil Harper: A lot of sacked coaches say that.
Neil Craig: …you can stop helping now Phil.
David Burtenshaw: Also it wouldn’t hurt you to loosen up a bit in your interviews. The public don’t want to hear how we are going to grind out loss after loss with the same approach. Consistency, patience, persistence… they don’t want to hear that stuff. We’re losing games… they need to be assured that they are going to see something different. You need to relax a little, drop your guard and maybe crack a joke or two as well.
<Stephen Trigg makes a frantic throat-slashing gesture to David Burtenshaw>
Neil Craig: (brightening) Really? Jokes?! That’s right up my alley! You should have heard some of the zingers I’ve been telling in our match committee meetings.
<Stephen Trigg face palms>
Neil Craig: Stephen, Phil… you’ve heard them? I’ve got a whole routine almost worked out… Oh boy, I feel rejuvenated now. Actually can we cancel training today? I’ve got that SEN interview tomorrow morning and I want to prepare. Oh, I can’t wait.
Stephen Trigg: Perhaps… don’t go overboard on the jokey-aspect too soon. It’s a pretty low key interview. They just wanted to get your opinion about the possible expansion of the game overseas and the connection with Ireland. That’s right isn’t it David?
David Burtenshaw: Yeah-
Neil Craig: Ok, I’ve got one. Tell me if you think this is funny. What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front verandah?
<Everyone stares blankly>
Neil Craig: Give up? Paddy O’Furniture. Ha-ha! Oh yeah, that’s going in the act. Man, I don’t think I’m going to be able to hold it together during the interview. I hope we prerecord just in case I lose it completely. David, can you make sure you tape it for me?
Stephen Trigg: Thanks for making yourselves available guys. Trying times I know but there are just a few house-keeping and media issues we need to stay on top of. Phil, do you want to kick things off?
Phil Harper: Sure. We’ve booked out hotels in all major cities for the first couple of weeks of the finals. We do it each year – it’s routine - you know, just in case. But we’re wondering if we can go ahead and cancel those bookings now? The flights as well.
Neil Craig: Well, what if we actually string some wins together and make the finals? What happens then? Where will we stay? Flag Inn at Ballarat or something...
Phil Harper: No, no… you can get backpackers bookings at quite late notice.
Stephen Trigg: It’s just that we can get the bulk of our deposit back if we cancel by COB Friday. It’s significant money and we’re a bit behind budget this year. The white guernseys with the new logo haven’t been too popular unfortunately. They’ve sold like Power memberships.
Phil Harper: There’s also the traditional club champion night… first Friday in October.
Neil Craig: What about it?
Phil Harper: We’re wondering if we can bring it forward a month.
Stephen Trigg: It makes sense, Neil. The players will be on holidays in October most likely and it will be almost six weeks since our last game. Most people would have forgotten about the season… hopefully.
David Burtenshaw: Channel 9 won’t cover it in October either and apparently all the media have said they’d rather focus on the Redbacks first Shield game-
Neil Craig: The Redbacks? Jesus Christ.
Phil Harper: Along a similar theme, some of the assistant coaches are wondering if they can take their annual leave in September?
Neil Craig: What?
Phil Harper: Apparently they can get cheaper flights in September because it’s out of school holidays, especially if they book now. David Noble wants to go to Cancun with his family.
Neil Craig: Where the f___’s that? No they can’t bloody well take annual leave in September. Well, Ben Hart and Matthew Clarke can, but tell the others to hold off. Sorry if I’m ruining their chance of getting a suntan, but we are running a football club here. Geez, if we pull off a miracle and make the finals, I’ll be the only coach here and we’ll be bussing to Melbourne to stay in a f___ing caravan park-
Stephen Trigg: Neil, settle-
Neil Craig: No, Stephen – I’m going to have my say here. I get a real sense that as a club we’re raising the white flag. It’s only Round 6 for crying out loud! We’ve got the best part of a season to play. I’ve been strong on the fact that we aren’t going to give up. I’ve made that point in all my interviews and I’ve spoken to the Board about this very issue. They’ve backed me 100%.
Stephen Trigg: Publicly we’re not backing down. Not for a second. As far as the media and the supporters are concerned it’s business as usual and we’re still gunning for the finals. Internally… we’ve got to manage the situation as best we can.
Phil Harper: And that means giving up?
Stephen Trigg: Bullseye.
Neil Craig: (sulking) Fine. Do whatever you want with this stuff, I don’t care.
Stephen Trigg: Ok, David. You had a few things for us?
David Burtenshaw: There are a few media opportunities on the horizon. Neil, Channel 7 wants you to do a promo for their news service.
Neil Craig: Yeah, no worries. What’s that involve?
David Burtenshaw: They want you to climb up a ladder while you’re wearing the Claude The Crow costume.
Neil Craig: … why?
David Burtenshaw: Well it’s for their sports promo. And when you get near the top of the ladder a magpie swoops you and you slide down to the bottom.
Neil Craig: I’m not doing th-
David Burtenshaw: No, don’t worry. They’ve got a stunt crow already sorted and there’ll be an ambulance crew right there just in case. It’s not a real magpie either. They’ll add that via computer afterwards.
Stephen Trigg: It’s really important to keep up the club’s media profile at the moment. Everyone’s all over the Power now because they’re winning. It’s a competitive market.
Neil Craig: You think me being humiliated and our club being a laughing stock helps our profile?
Phil Harper: Aren’t we seeing that enough on the weekend anyway?
Neil Craig: … thanks for your support Phil.
David Burtenshaw: Yeah but that’s just once a week. The promo will get played every night. In prime time. You can’t buy that sort of publicity. Also there’s an opportunity to use you in the next Foodland ad. They’re a long term sponsor, I’m pretty keen to help them out.
<Neil looks skeptical>
David Burtenshaw: They’ve got a new range of soups they’re pushing. All you need to do is cook some up on a stove, give it a stir and then have a taste… (quietly) using a wooden spoon.
Neil Craig: Did you say wooden spoon?
David Burtenshaw: Ahhh… yeah… and then you turn to camera and say, “Mmmm… leaves a better taste than my finals record.”
<Neil sits back in chair, arms folded, unmoving>
David Burtenshaw: Um… I’ll put that one down as a maybe for now.
Stephen Trigg: Neil, these opportunities don’t come along often.
Neil Craig: Thank goodness for that.
David Burtenshaw: Also you’ve got a big week of interviews coming up. (reading from notes) The Footy Show, Footy Classified, One Week At A Time, 3AW, 5AA, SEN, The Age, Herald Sun…
Neil Craig: Gee, can’t I cancel a few of them?
David Burtenshaw: No, they’ve been locked in for months.
Stephen Trigg: Why did you agree to so many interviews?
Neil Craig: Well I didn’t know we’d be 0-6 did I? I thought we’d be flying by now. No more satellite hook ups though. That delay makes me look ridiculous... like I’m searching for answers.
David Burtenshaw: In those interviews it wouldn’t hurt if you stopped mentioning finals. Maybe if we stop throwing the F word out there people will forget we said anything about top four. Also we’ve run some focus groups and there are a few phrases you use that people are getting sick off. Where are we…? (searches through notes) … contested ball, fierce determination, playing group, we have to keep working on that, finals-like intensity-
Phil Harper: Oh yeah, you use that one all the time.
David Burtenshaw: Also they said that you should never be on camera wearing shorts. Apparently that is a real turn off.
Neil Craig: (under breath) This will all help us win games will it?
David Burtenshaw: Another thing we need to be wary of is player influence. You’ve always talked up the ‘player power’ at the club and given credit to the leadership group for their role in decision making. I think you’re treading on dangerous ground there.
Neil Craig: Surely that’s a good thing? Player empowerment is one of our major strengths.
David Burtenshaw: Yes and no. It can also create the perception that the tail is wagging the dog, especially with this training schedule business that has come out. You’re supposed to be the expert in the field but you’re taking advice from a group of players?
Neil Craig: We’ve changed one training session… it’s hardly mutiny on the Bounty.
Phil Harper: I’m with Neil on this one. It’s not going to make a lick of difference anyway whether we train Wednesday, Thursday or Friday… I mean, who cares really? It’s going to be the same players who take the field. And they all stink.
Neil Craig: … thanks again Phil.
David Burtenshaw: It might sound minor but even little things can create a groundswell of public opinion that the leaders of the club don’t know what they’re doing and their authority is being questioned and undermined from within. The last time the players were given any real power was 1994… Cornes was gone within two months.
Neil Craig: I think we’re jumping at shadows here. I know I’ve got the full support of the players and the full backing of the Board and that should be obvious to the public.
Phil Harper: A lot of sacked coaches say that.
Neil Craig: …you can stop helping now Phil.
David Burtenshaw: Also it wouldn’t hurt you to loosen up a bit in your interviews. The public don’t want to hear how we are going to grind out loss after loss with the same approach. Consistency, patience, persistence… they don’t want to hear that stuff. We’re losing games… they need to be assured that they are going to see something different. You need to relax a little, drop your guard and maybe crack a joke or two as well.
<Stephen Trigg makes a frantic throat-slashing gesture to David Burtenshaw>
Neil Craig: (brightening) Really? Jokes?! That’s right up my alley! You should have heard some of the zingers I’ve been telling in our match committee meetings.
<Stephen Trigg face palms>
Neil Craig: Stephen, Phil… you’ve heard them? I’ve got a whole routine almost worked out… Oh boy, I feel rejuvenated now. Actually can we cancel training today? I’ve got that SEN interview tomorrow morning and I want to prepare. Oh, I can’t wait.
Stephen Trigg: Perhaps… don’t go overboard on the jokey-aspect too soon. It’s a pretty low key interview. They just wanted to get your opinion about the possible expansion of the game overseas and the connection with Ireland. That’s right isn’t it David?
David Burtenshaw: Yeah-
Neil Craig: Ok, I’ve got one. Tell me if you think this is funny. What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front verandah?
<Everyone stares blankly>
Neil Craig: Give up? Paddy O’Furniture. Ha-ha! Oh yeah, that’s going in the act. Man, I don’t think I’m going to be able to hold it together during the interview. I hope we prerecord just in case I lose it completely. David, can you make sure you tape it for me?
