Drugs Are Bad Mackay?
Moderator
- May 24, 2006
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Present: David Burtenshaw (media), Stephen Trigg (CEO) and Neil Craig (senior coach)
David Burtenshaw: G’day guys, thanks very much for coming in.
Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig: No problem
David Burtenshaw: And thanks Neil for putting your hand up again. I thought we’d never get you back after last time!
Neil Craig: It was either this or watch some tapes of our next opponent. Wasn’t a hard choice... I’m sick of finding out in advance all the different ways we’re going to get our ass kicked. It’s nice to save some surprises for the weekend.
Stephen Trigg: How’s this going to work David? Fans have emailed in questions for us?
David Burtenshaw: No, a bit different this week. We’ve asked Crows fans to email in their ideas about how we can fix the Crows. We’ll go through their suggestions.
Stephen Trigg: Oh no… this is going to be painful. What are you doing to us David?
Neil Craig: Welcome to Nuffy Central.
Stephen Trigg: Every person I bump into on the street has their own theory.
David Burtenshaw: C’mon, it won’t be that bad. Some of them are actually pretty good.
Neil Craig: Let me guess… ‘kick it long’ features heavily?
Stephen Trigg: Yeah, people trotting out the stuff that their primary school coach told them thirty years ago when they last played.
David Burtenshaw: Grab a seat guys, we’re just about ready to go.
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig sit down on the couch>
Neil Craig: (indicates the pile of papers in front of David Burtenshaw) Look how many there are. This will take all night.
David Burtenshaw: Hello and welcome to this weeks’ episode of Crows On The Couch. A very special episode this week because we’ve thrown out the challenge to Crows fans to come up with their suggestions on How To Fix The Crows. To help sort through the suggestions we are very fortunate to have Crows’ CEO Stephen Trigg and Senior Coach Neil Craig – guys, welcome to the program.
Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig: Great to be here.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, strap yourselves in - we have been absolutely INUNDATED with advice from Crows fans. It seems as though everyone has an opinion. (points to the pile of papers) And you’ll be pleased to know Neil that we’ve had a lot of suggestions for the coaching staff.
Neil Craig: That is good news... (under breath) I was running a bit low on toilet paper.
David Burtenshaw: Just before we get to the suggestions, do you guys ever resent hearing ideas from fans in the street? You must cop it all the time.
Neil Craig: No David. We’ve created the situation, we have to live with it.
Stephen Trigg: It does come with the territory. We do get a lot of feedback from all walks of life. Some is pretty harsh, some is on the money, some of it is quite funny.
Neil Craig: We’ve got to keep a sense of humour about it, otherwise we’d go crazy.
Stephen Trigg: Most people are well meaning. They genuinely care about their footy club.
Neil Craig: Their knowledge might be a bit limited but their passion knows no bounds.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, we’ll get started. Here’s the first one. Debra of Modbury writes: We should take a leaf out of Geelong’s book and ease up on the fitness training. Their players didn’t start until Christmas and it looks as though it has freshened them up.
Neil Craig: Righto… Debra, when we’ve made three grand finals in a row including two premierships, then we’ll take our foot off the gas. Have you seen Geelong’s playing list? They could do hula dancing every training and still finish top four. We’re in completely different situation to Geelong.
David Burtenshaw: Next up we have Cheryl of Northgate who writes: We need to be more aggressive in trade week. We should be targeting South Australians like Bryce Gibbs and Ryan Griffen.
Neil Craig: To make either of those trades happen we would have to give up some of our best players and first round draft picks, not to mention make room in our salary cap to accommodate them. Would anyone be happy to lose a Patrick Dangerfield or David Mackay? Because that is what it would take to land the type of player you are talking about.
Stephen Trigg: People always say trade away our bad players and bring in good players… it doesn’t work like that.
Neil Craig: Yeah, people say Trade, Trade, Trade but then you ask them who do you want to give up?
Stephen Trigg: Who do they usually come back with… Griffin? Reilly? That’s about it.
Neil Craig: Yeah, so if we’re ever after some magic beans we’ll be ok. But I don’t think they’re going to land us a Ryan Griffen though.
Stephen Trigg: Then they say how about we package them together.
Neil Craig: How about two shit sandwiches?
Stephen Trigg: As though that sweetens the deal somehow.
David Burtenshaw: Looks like we’re nought from two so far. Ok, next up is Eric of Burnside who writes: The crowds seem to be getting smaller at Crows games this year. Maybe you should block out some of the seats with bay covers to make it seem like there are more people there.
Stephen Trigg: (sighs) Did you screen any of these David? Sounds like Port fans taking pot shots to me. Let’s move on.
Neil Craig: It’s open season on us at the moment isn’t it?
Stephen Trigg: Indeed. Did you ever think that we’d be sitting here staring at a 1-7 record?
Neil Craig: No, I thought we were a lock for the finals. All these teams that have gone past us… where the heck did Fremantle come from? They kicked one goal against us last year.
Stephen Trigg: Remember what you presented to the Board before the season? After Round 18 we were going to switch into our “Finals Phase.”
Neil Craig: Don’t remind me. And weren’t marketing going to organise those toy “Finals Phasers” for the members that shot out red, blue and yellow silly string?
Stephen Trigg: That’s right, I’d forgotten. I hope they didn’t order them.
Neil Craig: And if they did I hope they don’t have ‘2010’ on them anywhere.
Stephen Trigg: Probably cancelled too late… now we’ve got a million dollar store credit at some factory in Taiwan… Who’s next David?
David Burtenshaw: Next is Paul of St Morris who writes: We need to appoint a young captain like North Melbourne did with Wayne Carey in the early 90’s.
Stephen Trigg: Have we got any young Wayne Carey’s running around Neil?
Neil Craig: How’s James Sellar going? Next Carey. Wasn’t that what Fantasia told us?
Stephen Trigg: That’s right, he did.
Neil Craig: Nah, Jimmy’s ok. The cupboard is pretty bare for young leaders though. The whole leadership group is over 30.
Stephen Trigg: Are we still going to let the players elect their own leaders next season?
Neil Craig: No way. That’ll be the first thing to go. Well… second thing after Jarrhan Jacky anyway.
David Burtenshaw: Alan or Clarence Park writes: Our club song is plain and boring. We need a fun, up-tempo, exciting song to sing like the Richmond one.
Neil Craig: (rolls eyes) Yeah and aren’t Richmond going great guns.
Stephen Trigg: Gee, there’s been some good suggestions so far.
Neil Craig: Did Matthew Clarke write some of these?
Stephen Trigg: Next.
David Burtenshaw: Sergio of Torrensville writes: Carlton used a catch phrase “They know we’re coming” to demonstrate their exciting new attitude. Should the Crows come up with something similar to inspire the players?
Stephen Trigg: Bullseye. Sergio you genius!
Neil Craig: Why didn’t we think of that?
Stephen Trigg: That’s it. That must be the problem.
Neil Craig: How about ‘the future’s so ugly, we have to draw the shades.’
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig dissolve into fits of laughter>
Neil Craig: I’m sorry David, we shouldn’t be laughing.
Stephen Trigg: We don’t mean to be rude. I know people are doing their best and trying to be constructive, but I just wonder if their ideas could use a little more thought?
Neil Craig: Or any thought.
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig start s******ing again>
Stephen Trigg: We shouldn’t be making light of this. It’s just the position we're in…
Neil Craig: People might be wondering why we’re laughing so much.
David Burtenshaw: In fact I’m sure they are.
Neil Craig: It’s not that we aren’t aware of our dire situation.
Stephen Trigg: No, it’s just the tragi-comedy elements of it all.
Neil Craig: The losses, the injuries, the goal kicking, the top four promises…
Stephen Trigg: The suspensions…
Neil Craig: It’s all adding up… we’re stuck in a surreal… dark comedy.
Stephen Trigg: You almost just throw your hands up in the air.
Neil Craig: It’s so bad it’s funny. You have to laugh. What else can you do?
Stephen Trigg: So keep the ideas coming David. Heaven knows we’re fresh out…
Neil Craig: What’s next? Team colours too bright?
David Burtenshaw: No, the next one’s from Jan of Lobethal who writes: We have too many blonde players. They are spending all their time in front of the mirror styling and preening themselves. We should draft some tough nuts instead of these pretty boys.
Stephen Trigg: Hear, hear.
Neil Craig: Spot on Jan. Garnier Fructis could sponsor us I reckon.
Stephen Trigg: Bring back Rodney Maynard!
Neil Craig: You’re on the money with this one Jan. How much time did Darren Jarman ever spend in front of the mirror?
Stephen Trigg: Not enough!
Neil Craig: From now on it’s shaved heads all round and we’ll take all the mirrors out of the change rooms tomorrow.
Stephen Trigg: We’ll bank that one David. File it over here. (takes the paper from David)
Neil Craig: One good idea… it’s a start! The others we’ve had so far… well you can file them with Ben Hart’s training ideas.
Stephen Trigg: What, in the garbage can?
Neil Craig: That’s right!
Stephen Trigg: Alongside Rucci’s interview requests?
Neil Craig: Yeah! And Nathan Bock’s Advertiser articles.
Stephen Trigg: And our game plan.
Neil Craig: Ouch! Harsh but fair Triggy.
Stephen Trigg: (chuckles) Only joking Neil.
David Burtenshaw: The next suggestion comes from Dylan of Aldinga who writes: Why do our players run off the ground at half time? No other team in the league does this. It looks ridiculous. The players should be resting.
Neil Craig: To be honest, it’s hard to build a case to defend anything we’re doing given how we’re playing.
Stephen Trigg: Some of the players run faster after the half time siren than they do during the game.
Neil Craig: Some of them run to the bench pretty quickly as well.
Stephen Trigg: Myke Cook is like lightning.
Neil Craig: Yeah… running to the interchange. His major strength at the moment!
Stephen Trigg: So we pay that one?
Neil Craig: Yep. Dylan of Aldinga, you’ve kicked a goal.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, two in a row. We’re making some headway. Ian of Lockleys writes: We made a mistake keeping all the over-30 players. We should have a Blight-style clean out at the end of this season and invest in our youth.
Neil Craig: Everyone’s an expert now aren’t they?
Stephen Trigg: Looking back… we did get it wrong though didn’t we? Keeping all those guys on?
Neil Craig: Yeah it’s hard to argue…
Stephen Trigg: Remember Brett Burton coming into our list management meeting begging for one more year?
Neil Craig: (nods) “Neil, I can still have an impact.”
Stephen Trigg: “I want to retire as a premiership player.”
Neil Craig: Well the Eagles are travelling ok… he still might!
Stephen Trigg: I can’t believe we were so gullible.
Neil Craig: Well, won’t happen next time. Fool me once…
Stephen Trigg: Yeah, I’d hate to be an older player at the club this year. Brett’s ensured we’ll never trust a 30 year old again.
Neil Craig: Fair point Ian, we’ll pay that one.
David Burtenshaw: Three from three. Let’s keep the streak going. John of Crystal Brook writes: During the next draft period we should target a mature-age ruckman from the SANFL or VFL to take some pressure off Ivan Maric.
Neil Craig: This has been coming up a bit lately… Barlow and Podsiadly get a few kicks and everyone assumes there must be a never ending supply of guns kicking round in the state leagues.
Stephen Trigg: It doesn’t work like that. For every Ben Hudson you see emerge there are ten Cameron Clokes.
Neil Craig: Cain Ackland.
Stephen Trigg: Wade Skipper.
Neil Craig: John Meesen.
Stephen Trigg: Ouch… imagine wasting a first round draft pick on a player like that…
Neil Craig: Ahem… David, I think we’ll file that one under Adam Richardson.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, moving on… Tom of Woodcroft suggests: The team seems very low on confidence at the moment. You should make a tape of all the good bits of play from this year and show it to the players to give them a boost.
Stephen Trigg: What do you think Neil?
Neil Craig: Do we have 3 seconds of blank tape we can use? Would be the world’s shortest video I reckon. Even shorter than a montage Matthew Clarke’s contested marks.
Stephen Trigg: Or clips of Ian Perrie’s correctly spinning drop punts.
Neil Craig: Ha-ha… (shakes head) Sarge. I like that one. What about Ben Rutten’s chase down tackles?
Stephen Trigg: Not bad. Michael Doughty’s forward kicks?
Neil Craig: Jarrhan Jacky’s highlight reel!
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig wet themselves laughing>
Neil Craig: (wiping away tear) Oh, I haven’t laughed this much in ages… not since Will Young’s debut anyway.
Stephen Trigg: Stop it Neil! I don’t know if I’m going to be able to go on here.
<both slowly re-gather their composure>
Neil Craig: Nice try Tom but I don’t think we’ll bother with the video idea. I don’t want to relive a second of this season thanks.
Stephen Trigg: Hey Neil, remember what we said our biggest threat was going to be?
Neil Craig: …no?
Stephen Trigg: We spoke about it back at our November planning meetings… complacency.
Neil Craig: Oh, that’s right.
Stephen Trigg: “What if we find ourselves 6-2 or 7-1… how are we going to keep a lid on things?”
Neil Craig: We actually spoke to the players about it.
Stephen Trigg: Remember that special doorway to the change rooms you wanted us to build? The symbolism… don’t come in unless your head fits through the door. Oh man, I feel so stupid talking about these things now.
Neil Craig: At least we’ve stamped out complacency then.
Stephen Trigg: Not all bad is it?
David Burtenshaw: Ok, the next one is from-
Neil Craig: Save it for next time David. I’ve had a gutful of these.
David Burtenshaw: But the WebTV hookup is still open for 25 minutes.
Neil Craig: Who cares? Hopefully people have stopped watching.
<long silence>
Stephen Trigg: God I hope the Socceroos win a few games…
Neil Craig: Hey Triggy… remember what you said to the players after the Collingwood final? “Boys, it’s one thing to MAKE the finals. But next season I want something for our trophy cabinet.”
Stephen Trigg: (face palms) Oh man, I do remember that now.
Neil Craig: Well if Richmond can win a game or two… mission accomplished!
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig dissolve into giggles again>
David Burtenshaw: G’day guys, thanks very much for coming in.
Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig: No problem
David Burtenshaw: And thanks Neil for putting your hand up again. I thought we’d never get you back after last time!
Neil Craig: It was either this or watch some tapes of our next opponent. Wasn’t a hard choice... I’m sick of finding out in advance all the different ways we’re going to get our ass kicked. It’s nice to save some surprises for the weekend.
Stephen Trigg: How’s this going to work David? Fans have emailed in questions for us?
David Burtenshaw: No, a bit different this week. We’ve asked Crows fans to email in their ideas about how we can fix the Crows. We’ll go through their suggestions.
Stephen Trigg: Oh no… this is going to be painful. What are you doing to us David?
Neil Craig: Welcome to Nuffy Central.
Stephen Trigg: Every person I bump into on the street has their own theory.
David Burtenshaw: C’mon, it won’t be that bad. Some of them are actually pretty good.
Neil Craig: Let me guess… ‘kick it long’ features heavily?
Stephen Trigg: Yeah, people trotting out the stuff that their primary school coach told them thirty years ago when they last played.
David Burtenshaw: Grab a seat guys, we’re just about ready to go.
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig sit down on the couch>
Neil Craig: (indicates the pile of papers in front of David Burtenshaw) Look how many there are. This will take all night.
David Burtenshaw: Hello and welcome to this weeks’ episode of Crows On The Couch. A very special episode this week because we’ve thrown out the challenge to Crows fans to come up with their suggestions on How To Fix The Crows. To help sort through the suggestions we are very fortunate to have Crows’ CEO Stephen Trigg and Senior Coach Neil Craig – guys, welcome to the program.
Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig: Great to be here.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, strap yourselves in - we have been absolutely INUNDATED with advice from Crows fans. It seems as though everyone has an opinion. (points to the pile of papers) And you’ll be pleased to know Neil that we’ve had a lot of suggestions for the coaching staff.
Neil Craig: That is good news... (under breath) I was running a bit low on toilet paper.
David Burtenshaw: Just before we get to the suggestions, do you guys ever resent hearing ideas from fans in the street? You must cop it all the time.
Neil Craig: No David. We’ve created the situation, we have to live with it.
Stephen Trigg: It does come with the territory. We do get a lot of feedback from all walks of life. Some is pretty harsh, some is on the money, some of it is quite funny.
Neil Craig: We’ve got to keep a sense of humour about it, otherwise we’d go crazy.
Stephen Trigg: Most people are well meaning. They genuinely care about their footy club.
Neil Craig: Their knowledge might be a bit limited but their passion knows no bounds.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, we’ll get started. Here’s the first one. Debra of Modbury writes: We should take a leaf out of Geelong’s book and ease up on the fitness training. Their players didn’t start until Christmas and it looks as though it has freshened them up.
Neil Craig: Righto… Debra, when we’ve made three grand finals in a row including two premierships, then we’ll take our foot off the gas. Have you seen Geelong’s playing list? They could do hula dancing every training and still finish top four. We’re in completely different situation to Geelong.
David Burtenshaw: Next up we have Cheryl of Northgate who writes: We need to be more aggressive in trade week. We should be targeting South Australians like Bryce Gibbs and Ryan Griffen.
Neil Craig: To make either of those trades happen we would have to give up some of our best players and first round draft picks, not to mention make room in our salary cap to accommodate them. Would anyone be happy to lose a Patrick Dangerfield or David Mackay? Because that is what it would take to land the type of player you are talking about.
Stephen Trigg: People always say trade away our bad players and bring in good players… it doesn’t work like that.
Neil Craig: Yeah, people say Trade, Trade, Trade but then you ask them who do you want to give up?
Stephen Trigg: Who do they usually come back with… Griffin? Reilly? That’s about it.
Neil Craig: Yeah, so if we’re ever after some magic beans we’ll be ok. But I don’t think they’re going to land us a Ryan Griffen though.
Stephen Trigg: Then they say how about we package them together.
Neil Craig: How about two shit sandwiches?
Stephen Trigg: As though that sweetens the deal somehow.
David Burtenshaw: Looks like we’re nought from two so far. Ok, next up is Eric of Burnside who writes: The crowds seem to be getting smaller at Crows games this year. Maybe you should block out some of the seats with bay covers to make it seem like there are more people there.
Stephen Trigg: (sighs) Did you screen any of these David? Sounds like Port fans taking pot shots to me. Let’s move on.
Neil Craig: It’s open season on us at the moment isn’t it?
Stephen Trigg: Indeed. Did you ever think that we’d be sitting here staring at a 1-7 record?
Neil Craig: No, I thought we were a lock for the finals. All these teams that have gone past us… where the heck did Fremantle come from? They kicked one goal against us last year.
Stephen Trigg: Remember what you presented to the Board before the season? After Round 18 we were going to switch into our “Finals Phase.”
Neil Craig: Don’t remind me. And weren’t marketing going to organise those toy “Finals Phasers” for the members that shot out red, blue and yellow silly string?
Stephen Trigg: That’s right, I’d forgotten. I hope they didn’t order them.
Neil Craig: And if they did I hope they don’t have ‘2010’ on them anywhere.
Stephen Trigg: Probably cancelled too late… now we’ve got a million dollar store credit at some factory in Taiwan… Who’s next David?
David Burtenshaw: Next is Paul of St Morris who writes: We need to appoint a young captain like North Melbourne did with Wayne Carey in the early 90’s.
Stephen Trigg: Have we got any young Wayne Carey’s running around Neil?
Neil Craig: How’s James Sellar going? Next Carey. Wasn’t that what Fantasia told us?
Stephen Trigg: That’s right, he did.
Neil Craig: Nah, Jimmy’s ok. The cupboard is pretty bare for young leaders though. The whole leadership group is over 30.
Stephen Trigg: Are we still going to let the players elect their own leaders next season?
Neil Craig: No way. That’ll be the first thing to go. Well… second thing after Jarrhan Jacky anyway.
David Burtenshaw: Alan or Clarence Park writes: Our club song is plain and boring. We need a fun, up-tempo, exciting song to sing like the Richmond one.
Neil Craig: (rolls eyes) Yeah and aren’t Richmond going great guns.
Stephen Trigg: Gee, there’s been some good suggestions so far.
Neil Craig: Did Matthew Clarke write some of these?
Stephen Trigg: Next.
David Burtenshaw: Sergio of Torrensville writes: Carlton used a catch phrase “They know we’re coming” to demonstrate their exciting new attitude. Should the Crows come up with something similar to inspire the players?
Stephen Trigg: Bullseye. Sergio you genius!
Neil Craig: Why didn’t we think of that?
Stephen Trigg: That’s it. That must be the problem.
Neil Craig: How about ‘the future’s so ugly, we have to draw the shades.’
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig dissolve into fits of laughter>
Neil Craig: I’m sorry David, we shouldn’t be laughing.
Stephen Trigg: We don’t mean to be rude. I know people are doing their best and trying to be constructive, but I just wonder if their ideas could use a little more thought?
Neil Craig: Or any thought.
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig start s******ing again>
Stephen Trigg: We shouldn’t be making light of this. It’s just the position we're in…
Neil Craig: People might be wondering why we’re laughing so much.
David Burtenshaw: In fact I’m sure they are.
Neil Craig: It’s not that we aren’t aware of our dire situation.
Stephen Trigg: No, it’s just the tragi-comedy elements of it all.
Neil Craig: The losses, the injuries, the goal kicking, the top four promises…
Stephen Trigg: The suspensions…
Neil Craig: It’s all adding up… we’re stuck in a surreal… dark comedy.
Stephen Trigg: You almost just throw your hands up in the air.
Neil Craig: It’s so bad it’s funny. You have to laugh. What else can you do?
Stephen Trigg: So keep the ideas coming David. Heaven knows we’re fresh out…
Neil Craig: What’s next? Team colours too bright?
David Burtenshaw: No, the next one’s from Jan of Lobethal who writes: We have too many blonde players. They are spending all their time in front of the mirror styling and preening themselves. We should draft some tough nuts instead of these pretty boys.
Stephen Trigg: Hear, hear.
Neil Craig: Spot on Jan. Garnier Fructis could sponsor us I reckon.
Stephen Trigg: Bring back Rodney Maynard!
Neil Craig: You’re on the money with this one Jan. How much time did Darren Jarman ever spend in front of the mirror?
Stephen Trigg: Not enough!
Neil Craig: From now on it’s shaved heads all round and we’ll take all the mirrors out of the change rooms tomorrow.
Stephen Trigg: We’ll bank that one David. File it over here. (takes the paper from David)
Neil Craig: One good idea… it’s a start! The others we’ve had so far… well you can file them with Ben Hart’s training ideas.
Stephen Trigg: What, in the garbage can?
Neil Craig: That’s right!
Stephen Trigg: Alongside Rucci’s interview requests?
Neil Craig: Yeah! And Nathan Bock’s Advertiser articles.
Stephen Trigg: And our game plan.
Neil Craig: Ouch! Harsh but fair Triggy.
Stephen Trigg: (chuckles) Only joking Neil.
David Burtenshaw: The next suggestion comes from Dylan of Aldinga who writes: Why do our players run off the ground at half time? No other team in the league does this. It looks ridiculous. The players should be resting.
Neil Craig: To be honest, it’s hard to build a case to defend anything we’re doing given how we’re playing.
Stephen Trigg: Some of the players run faster after the half time siren than they do during the game.
Neil Craig: Some of them run to the bench pretty quickly as well.
Stephen Trigg: Myke Cook is like lightning.
Neil Craig: Yeah… running to the interchange. His major strength at the moment!
Stephen Trigg: So we pay that one?
Neil Craig: Yep. Dylan of Aldinga, you’ve kicked a goal.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, two in a row. We’re making some headway. Ian of Lockleys writes: We made a mistake keeping all the over-30 players. We should have a Blight-style clean out at the end of this season and invest in our youth.
Neil Craig: Everyone’s an expert now aren’t they?
Stephen Trigg: Looking back… we did get it wrong though didn’t we? Keeping all those guys on?
Neil Craig: Yeah it’s hard to argue…
Stephen Trigg: Remember Brett Burton coming into our list management meeting begging for one more year?
Neil Craig: (nods) “Neil, I can still have an impact.”
Stephen Trigg: “I want to retire as a premiership player.”
Neil Craig: Well the Eagles are travelling ok… he still might!
Stephen Trigg: I can’t believe we were so gullible.
Neil Craig: Well, won’t happen next time. Fool me once…
Stephen Trigg: Yeah, I’d hate to be an older player at the club this year. Brett’s ensured we’ll never trust a 30 year old again.
Neil Craig: Fair point Ian, we’ll pay that one.
David Burtenshaw: Three from three. Let’s keep the streak going. John of Crystal Brook writes: During the next draft period we should target a mature-age ruckman from the SANFL or VFL to take some pressure off Ivan Maric.
Neil Craig: This has been coming up a bit lately… Barlow and Podsiadly get a few kicks and everyone assumes there must be a never ending supply of guns kicking round in the state leagues.
Stephen Trigg: It doesn’t work like that. For every Ben Hudson you see emerge there are ten Cameron Clokes.
Neil Craig: Cain Ackland.
Stephen Trigg: Wade Skipper.
Neil Craig: John Meesen.
Stephen Trigg: Ouch… imagine wasting a first round draft pick on a player like that…
Neil Craig: Ahem… David, I think we’ll file that one under Adam Richardson.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, moving on… Tom of Woodcroft suggests: The team seems very low on confidence at the moment. You should make a tape of all the good bits of play from this year and show it to the players to give them a boost.
Stephen Trigg: What do you think Neil?
Neil Craig: Do we have 3 seconds of blank tape we can use? Would be the world’s shortest video I reckon. Even shorter than a montage Matthew Clarke’s contested marks.
Stephen Trigg: Or clips of Ian Perrie’s correctly spinning drop punts.
Neil Craig: Ha-ha… (shakes head) Sarge. I like that one. What about Ben Rutten’s chase down tackles?
Stephen Trigg: Not bad. Michael Doughty’s forward kicks?
Neil Craig: Jarrhan Jacky’s highlight reel!
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig wet themselves laughing>
Neil Craig: (wiping away tear) Oh, I haven’t laughed this much in ages… not since Will Young’s debut anyway.
Stephen Trigg: Stop it Neil! I don’t know if I’m going to be able to go on here.
<both slowly re-gather their composure>
Neil Craig: Nice try Tom but I don’t think we’ll bother with the video idea. I don’t want to relive a second of this season thanks.
Stephen Trigg: Hey Neil, remember what we said our biggest threat was going to be?
Neil Craig: …no?
Stephen Trigg: We spoke about it back at our November planning meetings… complacency.
Neil Craig: Oh, that’s right.
Stephen Trigg: “What if we find ourselves 6-2 or 7-1… how are we going to keep a lid on things?”
Neil Craig: We actually spoke to the players about it.
Stephen Trigg: Remember that special doorway to the change rooms you wanted us to build? The symbolism… don’t come in unless your head fits through the door. Oh man, I feel so stupid talking about these things now.
Neil Craig: At least we’ve stamped out complacency then.
Stephen Trigg: Not all bad is it?
David Burtenshaw: Ok, the next one is from-
Neil Craig: Save it for next time David. I’ve had a gutful of these.
David Burtenshaw: But the WebTV hookup is still open for 25 minutes.
Neil Craig: Who cares? Hopefully people have stopped watching.
<long silence>
Stephen Trigg: God I hope the Socceroos win a few games…
Neil Craig: Hey Triggy… remember what you said to the players after the Collingwood final? “Boys, it’s one thing to MAKE the finals. But next season I want something for our trophy cabinet.”
Stephen Trigg: (face palms) Oh man, I do remember that now.
Neil Craig: Well if Richmond can win a game or two… mission accomplished!
<Stephen Trigg and Neil Craig dissolve into giggles again>
Your posts are the only beacon of light for Crow fans in this year from hell. You have talent! 
